Issue48 【☆09GRE作文冲刺组】swbai3月1日作文

swbaiUID: 2600532

题目：ISSUE48 - "The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."
字数：569          用时：0:45:00          日期：2009-3-1
In the New York Times paper, last year's hero of one year period is not anyone else, but are you. That is to say, we are now living in a world without actually someone called heroes. Neither such individual efforts is praised by the public, nor the children dream everyday to be a truly hero. So the question raises, why did the pervious historian emphasis the individual so much? Also, what is the role of ordinary people in history?

In the writing history, only individuals can be listed on the limiting paper. In the ancient periods, paper, and something that can record the history, is the most valuable one, and there is not much of it. Every word cost a large amount of money. For the people who are ruling the government, they are willing to have their name on the history for their sons and grandsons, who can account how glory their ancestors are. For example, we often name Huang-di as the ancestor of Chinese, who defeated Chi-you, another big tribes in Yellow River terrain. Governments also want to list certian people to set an example. In every country's history book, their must be some men that cost their lives to protect their own countries. The examples give others the value of the country and thus inspire the patriotism of ordinary people.

The majority of people have a great influence of history. As the famous emperor of Tang Dynasty of China, Shi-min Li said that as the water can carry up boats, it can also makes the boat down. This is the actual of what the attitude of ruler to ordinary people. As the ruler has made a new policy, he/she must listen to the response of ordinary people, otherwise the new policy cannot be successfully acted, or the authority of ruler is being challenged. Thus the ruler will, that is to say, in most of times, follow the opinion of the majority, and make the conflicts, which are made by different sound of individuals, be acceptable. As the Chinese philosophy Lao-zi once said, no big action should be taken, when ruling a big country.

However, in certain cases, it is the individual that bring new ideas, and thus has made the break through of history. Heroes never think about in common way, or they dare not to be heroes. When the majority are falling to one great problem and cannot find a way out, sometimes there can be heroes come out, who think much different from others, and usually with no reason, perhaps simply by their will to win, and lead their people to have a better future. Joan of Arc is only a nineteen year old girl as she came into the army of French. It is the time the France is about to face defeat, and all men are feeling hopeless. Without former experience on wars, the lady, who is fluent in enhancing the spirit of troopers, changed all of the methods that the French army has used. This could be deadly to the French, yet fortunately enough, the English was defeated because of the change.

In conclusion, we should not only study the individual of history, but the group of people as well. What is more important, is to study the interaction between individual and groups as well. Only through carefully study of the association of two can we finally find the truth of history.

wuziqing1498UID: 2457562

题目：ISSUE48 - "The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."
字数：569          用时：0:45:00          日期：2009-3-1
In（ON?） the New York Times paper, last year's hero of one year period (这里表述有点累赘，anniversary hero不知行不)is not anyone else, but are you. （你这里就把历史定在去年了，对于去年的研究？）That is to say, we are now living in a world without actually someone called heroes. （现在是，以前呢，我们讨论的是历史是怎么做的）Neither such individual efforts is praised by the public, nor the children dream everyday to be a truly hero. So the question raises, why did the pervious historian emphasis the individual so much?（1，这里隐含历史重视个人，2，很简单，时代不同嘛？） Also, what is the role of ordinary people in history?

In the writing history, only individuals can be listed on the limiting （limited）paper. In the ancient periods, paper, and something that can record the history, is the most valuable one, and there is not much of it Every word cost a large amount of money. (这个嘛，要说的话要说清楚一点，这样说服力。。。). For the people who are ruling the government, they are willing to have their name on the history for their sons and grandsons,（原来你想说官僚金钱，好观点！历史的一些局限，写历史的人被束缚。加油说：1，记下的历史有了侧重2，因为后来研究者得到的资料也就只能。。呃，看了你后面发现我理解错了，误解原因是代词的歧义，你重读一下，for, they, their是不有问题？所以代词一定要明确指代，不确定就直接说。））who can account how glory their ancestors are（这句你想表达什么）. For example, we often name Huang-di as the ancestor of Chinese, who defeated Chi-you, another big tribes in Yellow River terrain. Governments also want to list certian people to set an example. In every country's history book, their must be some men that cost their lives to protect their own countries. The examples give others the value of the country and thus inspire the patriotism of ordinary people（其实我在写建筑那篇回忆出来的历史时，也在考虑这么个问题：老外国家观念不如我们强的，他们更重个人，好像）.（例子挺好，不过论述还要加强）

（可以加点过渡哦）The majority of people have a great influence of history. As the famous emperor of Tang Dynasty of China, Shi-min Li （看来你对中国古代皇帝了解不错嘛，不过说点别的领域该好些吧）said that as the water can carry up boats, it can also makes the boat down. （The water that bears the boat is the same that swallows it up）This is the actual （改，看这样行不：which vividly describe the relationship between rulers and its people）of what the attitude of ruler to ordinary people. As the ruler has made a new policy (before?), he/she must listen to the response of ordinary people, otherwise the new policy cannot be successfully acted, or the authority of ruler is being challenged. Thus the ruler will, that is to say, in most of times, follow the opinion of the majority, and make(改，协调?apppese?) the conflicts, which are made by different sound of individuals, be acceptable(总觉得你的话不太地道). As the Chinese philosophy Lao-zi once said, no big action should be taken, when ruling a big country.（这句原文是什么）
However, in certain cases, it is the individual that bring new ideas, （你是不把统治者跟平常人比啊？）and thus has made the break through of history. Heroes never think about in common way, or they dare not to be heroes. When the majority are falling to one great problem and cannot find a way out, sometimes there can be heroes come out, who think much different from others, and usually with no reason, perhaps simply by their will to win, and lead their people to have a better future. Joan of Arc is only a nineteen year old girl as she came into the army of French. It is the time the France is about to face defeat, and all men are feeling hopeless. Without former experience on wars, the lady, who is fluent in enhancing（lighting up, strength?） the spirit of troopers, changed all of the methods that the French army has used. This could be deadly to the French, yet fortunately enough, the English was defeated because of the change. (你的例子都挺好，但是你不觉得你已经偏题了吗？)

In conclusion, we should not only study the individual of history, but the group of people （那个法国女孩不是一群人好不，她不也（很可能）被你知道了吗？而且还没有载入历史）as well. What is more important, is to study the interaction between individual and groups as well（而是要研究互动？怎么扯过去了？就算扯过去了，还要自己回来！说明来路回路，你前面没有做到！）. Only through carefully study of the association of two can we finally find the truth of history.
改得比较狠，望作者见谅，有不同意的或是有想法的，以及我的问题，要告诉我哦。