【☆09GRE作文冲刺组☆】09/03/01号作业

tanyujing2UID: 2600111

Issue48 The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten.

It is true that because of the significant accomplishments made by the famous few and the outstanding behavior of them, those who devote themselves on the history study may have focus their minds on the famous ones. In that word, the public intend to trust an unconscious conclusion that it is the individuals who create the events and trends in history. The author wants to reveal this artificial conclusion and eager to turn the public’s minds on the groups of people. While I have to give my word to the issue below.

When we talk about an event and an issue in the history, we never forgot the brilliant names and the creations by those famous few who were actually chose by their contemporaries. Maybe their have superior eye-sight and powerful leadership, but their success depended on the historical accidents not only their capabilities or something else. Moreover, they involving themselves in the complex problems and then successfully solving them were not just in order to make their childish dream come true. There is no famous one who set a far-reaching goal when he or she began participating in those difficulties. They were normal person.

When it comes to the power which can put the society move forwards, we cannot ignore the power of the public. As you know, the trend and events is not the manufacture products created by someone, they naturally happen with the potential needs which belong to the public, but them never notice that. The English Bourgeois Revolution is the case. The newly rising class cannot bear the cruel rule of the Church and Imperial family, so they have to undermine there barriers which restrain the needs of the new class. It is the groups of people and the class but not the individual can represent the social needs and create the social trends.

However, we also should not separate the individuals from the public, since anything is not extreme. If a group of people who want to do something important and have to destroy something old-fashioned, they should have to choose a leader, unconsciously or consciously, who can show them the approach to the destination, since the crowded is far more than an integral one which can accomplish the goal successfully by all of themselves.
So I have to emphasis the importance of the leadership at last. (时间到了) When the public find that there is something needed to by created and changed, they should admit that the instinct to follow the trends and put up someone to be their leaders, then this activity should be accepted by the history.

Since most of the successful revolutions and social reforms happened in this way such as the Emancipation of Slaves and the Independence War. Only in this way that the crowded show their desire to follow the trend and choose the right man or woman to lead them to the way of success, can we make the society moving forward.

_xtUID: 2599830

1# tanyujing2
Issue48The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten.

It is true that because of the significant accomplishments made by the famous few and the outstanding behavior of them, those who devote themselves on the history study may have focus their minds
on the famous ones. In that word, the public intend to trust an unconscious conclusion that it is the individuals who create the events and trends in history. The author wants to reveal this artificial conclusion and eager to turn the public’s minds on the groups of people(这里可以加个定语，对groups进行描述或定义，或者在第一句话后加一个转折来定义一下，因为之前都只说到了个人，group是突然冒出来的). While I have to give my word to the issue below.（开头段很不错哦~）

When we talk about an event and an issue in the history, we never forgot the brilliant names and the creations by those famous few who were actually chose by their contemporaries. Maybe their have superior eye-sight and powerful leadership, but their success depended on the historical accidents not only their capabilities or something else. Moreover, they involving themselves in the complex problems and then successfully solving them were not just in order to make their childish dream come true. There is no famous one who set a far-reaching goal when he or she began participating in those difficulties. They were normal person.（不是很明白这段想表达的内容）

When it comes to the power which can put the society move forwards, we cannot ignore the power of the public. As you know, the trend and events is（are）
not the manufacture products created by someone, they naturally happen with the potential needs which belong to the public, but them never notice that. The English Bourgeois Revolution is the case. The newly rising class cannot bear the cruel rule of the Church and Imperial family, so they have to undermine there（the） barriers which restrain the needs of the new class. It is the groups of people and the class but not the individual can represent the social needs and create the social trends.（这个观点很好，可以论证得更深入一点。比如，战争的爆发往往是资源满足不了大多数人的需求或者大众受到暴政压制）

However, we also should not separate the individuals from the public, since anything is not extreme. If a group of people who want to do something important and have to destroy something old-fashioned, they should have to choose a leader, unconsciously or consciously, who can show them the approach to the destination, since the crowded is far more than an integral one which can accomplish the goal successfully by all of themselves.
So I have to emphasis the importance of the leadership at last. (时间到了) When the public find that there is something needed to by created and changed, they should admit that the instinct to follow the trends and put up someone to be their leaders, then this activity should be accepted by the history.

Since most of the successful revolutions and social reforms happened in this way such as the Emancipation of Slaves and the Independence War. Only in this way that the crowded show their desire to follow the trend and choose the right man or woman to lead them to the way of success, can we make the society moving forward.

开头结尾段都写得很好！表达的观点很清晰，语言也不错。因此，比较而言，论证段相对逊色一点。如果LZ考虑把论证整体思路的严谨性和深入程度还需要再提高一点就更好了！