ARGUMENT242【DIES IN FLAMES 0910G长线突破组】TASK I 米饭袜子

米饭袜子UID: 2532172

Argument242

In the editorial above,the author stated mainly 2 points to support the final conclusion that ‘these institutions should adopt honor codes similar to Groveton’s’ for combating the increasing cheating cases.These 2 evidences that the descent in the number of the cases of cheating and ‘a recent survey’ by the Groveton honor concil seemingly logical, however, I could find its shortcommings from several aspects as follows.

To start with, it’s obviously unilateral to consider the rise in cheating had been depressed by the contrast.On one hand,the author just compared the numbers of cheating cases at the ends of 5 years during which the hornor codes were in practice,he(or she) failed to provide us with yearly statistics,neverthless,the data maybe rised and fell in period of 5 years, meanwhile, it came to a fall 5 years later by chance.On the other hand, there would have been other alternatives leading to the result even though it had been a continuous drop or in most of the years had,for instance, the examination could be easier gradually,the methods of exams and arrangements of the courses in Groveton could be changed, and even the characters of the entire students could be more appreciated year by year.Moreover,from my point of view,5 years can be limited for contributing the possible decrease in cheating students to honor codes.Students would probably not keep there permission genuinely any more as time go by.For example,their passions in notifying the suspective cheating students are likely to go out.Thus,whether the rising trend will be totally controlled in an other five years is hard to say.

Then it comes to the ‘recent survey’ mentioned in the argument ,of which the details appear so poor that it can’t be reasonable enough to confirm the conclusion.The shortages may include the fact that the conception of ‘the majority of students’ is unclear.It perhaps refered to the freshmen in Groveton who are comparatively honest to the honor codes an are more strict with themselves.Also, considering the unkonwn contents of the survey, we can’t ensure if the research was not in a condition or not that some of the questions are planned to make people give answers as researchers’ wants.In addition,what the students said is subjective as well,that is,the less likely cheating with an honor code in thought can be nothing in practice.

Regardless of all above, I’d like to examine the variances among diferent colleges and universities again. Are they using the same invigilation systems,such as how many teachers to do the job and how tight the teachers should be with the students? Do they take the similar measures to punish the students once caught cheating?If not,there maybe an increased chances that changes are few in maintaining the rise in cheating by adopting the honor codes similar to Groveton’s

All in all,the argument ,while it seems logical at first , has several falws as discussed above.Based on the one-sided collection and analysis of the data, the in sufficient details of the survey and the lack of consideration of the circumstances varying from colleges and universities,I can’t agree the advice on popularizing the Groveton’s honor codes to combat the reported dramatic rise in cheating. Instead, institutions had better to seek for solutions to the problems according to the essential reasons of the phenomenon and their own situations.

米饭袜子UID: 2532172

写得N幼稚！对不住大家的眼啦！！

vidyaUID: 2599950

楼主太谦虚了！！！

vidyaUID: 2599950

Argument242

In the editorial above, the author stated mainly 2 points to support the final conclusion that ‘these institutions should adopt honor codes similar to Groveton’s’ for combating the increasing cheating cases. These 2 evidences that the descent in the number of the cases of cheating and ‘a recent survey’ by the Groveton honor concil seemingly logical（此处应改用 seem logical）, however, I could find its shortcommings (shortcomings)from several aspects as follows.

To start with, it’s obviously unilateral to consider the rise in cheating had been depressed by the contrast. On one hand, the author just compared the numbers of cheating cases at the ends of 5 years during which the honor codes were in practice, he(or she) failed to provide us with yearly statistics, nevertheless, the data maybe rised and fell in period of 5 years, meanwhile, it came to a fall 5 years later by chance. On the other hand, there would have been other alternatives leading to the result even though it had been a continuous drop or in most of the years had, for instance, the examination could be easier gradually, the methods of exams and arrangements of the courses in Groveton could be changed, and even the characters of the entire students could be more appreciated year by year. Moreover, from my point of view,5 years can be limited for contributing the possible decrease in cheating students to honor codes. Students would probably not keep there permission genuinely any more as time go by. For example, their passions in notifying the suspective cheating students are likely to go out. Thus, whether the rising trend will be totally controlled in another five years is hard to say.(我的水平实在找不出语法的错误，而且感觉米袜童鞋的语言很朴实，提点吹毛求疵的意见。我觉得举例说明有可能是其他原因导致作弊数量下降时，可以直接用题目里给出的背景材料加以论述，一个是学生不遵守诺言考试仍然作弊，这点米袜童鞋已经说明，另外一个就是即时同学发现有人作弊，也不向老师举报，我想这样应该会更有说服力吧。)

Then it comes to the ‘recent survey’ mentioned in the argument ,of which the details appear so poor that it can’t be reasonable enough to confirm the conclusion. The shortages may include the fact that the conception of ‘the majority of students’ is unclear. It perhaps refered to the freshmen in Groveton who are comparatively honest to the honor codes are more strict(stricter) with themselves. Also, considering the unkonwn(unknown) contents of the survey, we can’t ensure if the research was not in a condition or not that some of the questions are planned to make people give answers as researchers’ wants(这句话应该把not和or not 去掉。). In addition, what the students said is subjective as well, that is, the less likely cheating with an honor code in thought can be nothing in practice.

Regardless of all above, I’d like to examine the variances among diferent(different) colleges and universities again. Are they using the same invigilation systems, such as how many teachers to do the job and how tight the teachers should be with the students? Do they take the similar measures to punish the students once caught cheating? If not, there maybe an increased chances that changes are few in maintaining the rise in cheating by adopting the honor codes similar to Groveton’s.(米袜童鞋用了另外一种方式来阐述其他学校采取honor code不一定会取得好的效果，至少在我看来，这种方式比较新颖。)

All in all, the argument ,while it seems logical at first , has several falws(flaws) as discussed above. Based on the one-sided collection and analysis of the data, the in sufficient details of the survey and the lack of consideration of the circumstances varying from colleges and universities, I can’t agree the advice on popularizing the Groveton’s honor codes to combat the reported dramatic rise in cheating. Instead, institutions had better to seek for solutions to the problems according to the essential reasons of the phenomenon and their own situations.

米袜童鞋的这篇ARGUMENT写的很好，除了有点拼写错误外，整篇文章结构很紧凑，用的词汇虽然不是什么高级词汇，但是感觉用得恰到好处，而且句型也有长有短非常值得本人学习。（由于本人水平很低，基本是抱着学习的态度来看这篇文章，如果还有什么遗漏之处，或者说的不合理的地方，还请见谅。）

yuyu7yayaUID: 2461700

In the editorial above,the author stated mainly（是不是把mainly放在stated前面比较舒服呢？） 2 points to support the final conclusion that ‘these institutions should adopt honor codes similar to Groveton’s’ for combating the increasing cheating cases.These 2 evidences that the descent in the number of the cases of cheating（能不能直接改成 the descent of the cheating rate？） and ‘a recent survey’ by the Groveton honor concil seemingly（seem吧。） logical, however, I could find its shortcommings from several aspects as follows.

To start with, it’s obviously unilateral to consider the rise in cheating had been depressed by the contrast.On one hand,the author just compared the numbers of cheating cases at the ends of 5 years during which the hornor codes were in practice, he(or she) failed to provide us with yearly statistics.(我喜欢这句话，简单明了，一针见血。)neverthless,the data maybe rised（rise吧） and fell（fall） in period of 5 years, meanwhile, it came to a fall 5 years（是 a fall 5th year吗？） later by chance.On the other hand, there would have been other alternatives leading to the result even though it had been a continuous drop or in most of the years had（很有层次感哪。）.F or instance, the examination could be easier gradually,the methods of exams and arrangements of the courses in Groveton could be changed, and even the characters of the entire students could be more appreciated year by year.Moreover,from my point of view,5 years can be limited for contributing the possible decrease in cheating students to honor codes. Students would probably not keep there permission genuinely any more as time go by.For example,their passions in notifying the suspective cheating students are likely to go out.Thus,whether the rising trend will be totally controlled in an other five years is hard to say.
这段的反驳很有力，很有层次感。而且句子简单明了，一针见血。膜拜一下！
Then it comes to the ‘recent survey’ mentioned in the argument ,of which the details appear so poor that it can’t be reasonable enough to confirm the conclusion.The shortages may include the fact that the conception of ‘the majority of students’ is unclear.It perhaps refered to the freshmen in Groveton who are comparatively honest to the honor codes an are more strict with themselves.Also, considering the unkonwn contents of the survey, we can’t ensure if the research was not in a condition or not that some of the questions are planned to make people give answers as researchers’ wants.In addition,what the students said is subjective as well,that is,the less likely cheating with an honor code in thought can be nothing in practice.
这段的批驳是与上一段平行展开的。如果在开头做一个让步：即使调查数据被证明是真实的，调查样本的选取也不一定具有典型性哪。这样的话，跟上一段关联在一起了，是不是让整篇文章更有层次感了呢？

Regardless of all above, I’d like to examine the variances among diferent colleges and universities again. Are they using the same invigilation systems,such as how many teachers to do the job and how tight the teachers should be with the students? Do they take the similar measures to punish the students once caught cheating?If not,there maybe an increased chances that changes are few in maintaining the rise in cheating by adopting the honor codes similar to Groveton’s
这段的句型很可爱哦！我怎么就不会用问句呢？
All in all,the argument ,while it seems logical at first , has several falws as discussed above.Based on the one-sided collection and analysis of the data, the in sufficient details of the survey and the lack of consideration of the circumstances varying from colleges and universities,I can’t agree the advice on popularizing the Groveton’s honor codes to combat the reported dramatic rise in cheating. Instead, institutions had better to seek for solutions to the problems according to the essential reasons of the phenomenon and their own situations.

米饭同学的写作功力很强，让我膜拜一下。
要提点意见的话，我觉得就是：首先，就不要在开头说有两个错误点可以攻击了，因为在下文你还是列出了三个攻击点对吧。容易让改卷的老师误以为你整篇文章构思不严谨呢。
然后就是，嗯，段与段之间的批驳其实是有逻辑性的，层层递进要比并列的展开更有力，也让你的论证更加严谨。
鉴于本人在遣词造句上没啥发言权，就不说什么了。
有什么改错的地方，还请多多包涵吧！

米饭袜子UID: 2532172

哇哈哈，大家的意见和建议很好哇，米饭我受益良多~谢谢同志们大家~辛苦辛苦的说~

艾尘草UID: 2591798

In the editorial above,the author stated mainly 2 points to support the final conclusion that ‘these institutions should adopt honor codes similar to Groveton’s’ for combating the increasing cheating cases. These 2 evidences that the descent in the number of the cases of cheating and ‘a recent survey’ by the Groveton honor concil seemingly logical, however, I could find its shortcomings(shortcomings) from several aspects as follows.(简洁干净呵呵~舒服)

To start with, it’s obviously unilateral to consider the rise in cheating had been depressed by the contrast. On one hand, the author just compared the numbers of cheating cases at the ends of 5 years during which the hornor codes were in practice, (这个地方应该有一个but吧~)he(or she) failed to provide us with yearly statistics, nevertheless ,the data maybe rised and fell in period of 5 years, meanwhile, it came to a fall 5 years later by chance.On the other hand, there would have been other alternatives leading(s) to the result even though it had been a continuous drop or in most of the years had,for instance, the examination could be easier gradually,the methods of exams and arrangements of the courses in Groveton could be changed, and even the characters of the entire students could be more appreciated year by year.Moreover,from my point of view,5 years can be limited for contributing the possible decrease in cheating students to honor codes .Students would probably not keep there permission genuinely any more as time go by.For example,their passions in notifying the suspective cheating students are likely to(这个是情愿做某事,这个地方应该是可能做某事) go out.Thus,whether the rising trend will be totally controlled in an other five years is hard to say.

Then it comes to the ‘recent survey’ mentioned in the argument ,of which the details appear so poor that it can’t be reasonable enough to confirm the conclusion. The shortages may include the fact that the conception of ‘the majority of students’ is unclear.It perhaps refered to the freshmen in Groveton who are comparatively honest to the honor codes an are more strict with themselves. Also, considering the unknown contents of the survey, we can’t ensure if the research was not(not去掉) in a condition or not that some of the questions are planned to make people give answers as researchers’ wants.In addition,what the students said is subjective as well, that is ,the less likely cheating with an honor code in thought can be nothing in practice.

Regardless of all above, I’d like to examine the variances among diferent（different） colleges and universities again. Are they using the same invigilation systems, such as how many teachers to do the job and how tight the teachers should be with the students? Do they take the similar measures to punish the students once caught cheating ?(反问句型很有气势)If not,there maybe an increased chances that changes are few in maintaining the rise in cheating by adopting the honor codes similar to Groveton’s

All in all,the argument ,while it seems logical at first , has several falws（flows） as discussed above.Based on the one-sided collection and analysis of the data, the in sufficient details of the survey and the lack of consideration of the circumstances varying from colleges and universities,I can’t agree the advice on popularizing the Groveton’s honor codes to combat the reported dramatic rise in cheating. Instead, institutions had better to seek for solutions to the problems according to the essential reasons of the phenomenon and their own situations.
迟到的~对不起~
我的拙见：这个文章看起来很舒服，长短句子很好的结合~听说米饭袜子小盆友是大一的，好优秀~呵呵~
唯一的建议是提升词汇的级别~感觉单词的水平上可能还有差距（我也是这样子的,共同努力）
逻辑很清楚，思路很清晰，逻辑很充分，向你学习啊~~呵呵

米饭袜子UID: 2532172

7# 艾尘草


JJ辛苦啦~额。。。。。词汇的问题我也很苦恼呢，所以再加紧赶哇，还有句子。。。。。