[TOEFL 2009上半年-Dark_Tournament写作组 glasses415 第11次作业]

glasses415UID: 2603267

It’s better to use own knowledge and experience to solve question, or ask other people for advice.
There are lots of questions about everything in our life.When we meet the question ,some people just look for some advice from other people,then to solve the question.But others are more likely to solve the questions they meet just by themselves.Which is the best choice?
To begin with, to solve one’s own question by themselves is the basic ability for one’s independed life . If we has the ability that we can use our knowledge and experience to solve the certain question in our daily life.And in my eyes, the ability to solve one’s own questions by themselves would also be a sign of growing up So ,when you meet a question that you can handle it in your daily life ,then just do it .
However ,there are different people have varied knowledge and experience. And as our own knowledge and experience are limited. No one could put everything in such a good place. And usually the most excellent ideas are will come out after a discussion with others. Taking their views into consideration, we may acquire a wider view of the same question and come to a better conclusion. As you know that unity is the strength.
In conclusion, it’s better to asking other people for advice when you face with difficulties to solving questions by yourself.. The reason for that is asking for help is a way of active learning.You could easily learn the knowledge and experience from this .And then you could have the ability to do everything.

glasses415UID: 2603267

为什么没有人帮我改·····
？？？？？？？？？？？

ilovelxlxUID: 2613222

能写出来就不容易了

水龙娃娃UID: 2359238

There are lots of questions about everything in our life. When we meet the question ,some people just look for some advice from other people, then to（去掉to） solve the question. But others are more likely to solve the questions they meet just by themselves. Which is the best choice?(第一段最好点明自己的观点，让考官知道你的总论点，要不感觉摸不着头脑。)

To begin with, to solve one’s own question by themselves is the basic ability for one’s independed（independent） life . If we has the ability that we can use our knowledge and experience to solve the certain question in our daily life.（这一句好像没说完，if只是个从句，主句哪里去了。。） And in my eyes, the ability to solve one’s own questions by themselves would also be a sign of growing up So ,when you meet a question that you can handle it in your daily life ,then just do it .

However ,there are different people （who）have varied knowledge and experience. And as our own knowledge and experience are limited(这一句语法错误). No one could put everything in such a good place. And usually the most excellent ideas are will come out after a discussion with others. Taking their views into consideration, we may acquire a wider view of the same question and come to a better conclusion. As you know that（去掉that） unity is the strength.

In conclusion, it’s better to asking other people for advice when you face with difficulties to solving questions by yourself.. The reason for that is asking for help is a way of active learning. You could easily learn the knowledge and experience from this .And then you could have the ability to do everything.

文章整体有些短。
1.结构上，思路我是最后才看出来作者的总论点。最好开头就提出观点，这样观点鲜明，逻辑思路也清晰。中间段的分论点很清楚，很好，但是论证并不充分。没有很好的论据对分论点进行分析及证明。
2.词汇及句子的驾驭能力有待进一步提高，尽量减少自己犯一些小错误，尽量避免用比较初级的词。句子的表达上多看看范文，模仿好句。

glasses415加油～～:loveliness:
ps：咱们这次是一组互改，表忘了回拍偶滴。。谢谢啦～～

gundammoleUID: 2300958

1# glasses415
There are lots of questions about everything in our life. When we meet the question, some people just look for some advice from other people, then to solve the question. But others are more likely to solve the questions they meet(met) just by themselves. Which is the best choice?
最好在末尾加上你的观点。一边自己的观点在第一段就阐明。

To begin with, to solve one’s own question by themselves is the basic ability for one’s independed(independent) life. If we has the ability that (that去掉改“，”)we can use our knowledge and experience to solve the certain question in our daily life. And in my eyes, the ability to solve one’s own questions by themselves would also be a sign of growing up So, when you meet a question that you can handle it in your daily life ,then just do it .（这段文字出现了太多次的daily life,完全可以用另外的词代替，或者换一种说法）

However, there are different people have varied knowledge and experience.（However, it must admit that other people may think otherwise.） And (and 去掉)as our own knowledge and experience are limited. No（，no）
one could put everything in such a good place. And usually the most excellent ideas are（去掉） will come out after a discussion with others. Taking their views into consideration, we may acquire a wider view of the same question and come to a better conclusion. As you(we all) know that unity is the strength.

In conclusion, it’s better to asking other people for advice when you face with difficulties to (of)solving questions by yourself.. The reason for that is asking for help is a way of active learning. You could easily learn the knowledge and experience from this .And then you could have the ability to do everything.

首先，字数没有到300，这个会对分数有影响的。希望下次注意
文章论点一段阐述了同意前者，一段又同意后者，最后结论是支持前者，逻辑有些混乱。要坚定自己的立场，既然要说solve problem by oneself,就要论证ask for advice的弊端。
希望楼主在逻辑和语言的组织上都能再下点功夫，如有修改错误的地方，尽管指出。大家共勉^_^

glasses415UID: 2603267

5# gundammole
第一次写···能力局限了·····
嘿嘿····
会好好努力的····