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[a习作temp] argument15 【09GRE作文冲刺组】sreaptep 3月11日作文 [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-3-12 00:14:34 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
TOPIC: ARGUMENT15 - The following appeared in a newsletter offering advice to investors.
"Over 80 percent of the respondents to a recent survey indicated a desire to reduce their intake of foods containing fats and cholesterol, and today low-fat products abound in many food stores. Since many of the food products currently marketed by Old Dairy Industries are high in fat and cholesterol, the company's sales are likely to diminish greatly and their profits will no doubt decrease. We therefore advise Old Dairy stockholders to sell their shares and other investors not to purchase stock in this company."
WORDS: 396          TIME: 00:33:47          DATE: 2009-3-11 22:09:22

The author of this argument has drawn a conclusion that those who are holding Old Dairy Industry(ODI)'s shares should sell the stocks, and others should not buy them to prevent loss. To convince us with the view, the arguer offered several evidence and facts, such as the result of a survey and style of food ODI produces. However, these evidence and facts are indefensible in terms of supporting the conclusion.

To begin with, the data gained in the survey which indicates that over 80% of the respondents is willing to reduce the their intake of foods is suspected. The arguer fails to provide further detail of the survey: the total number of participants, how widely the pool conducted. Without such detail, It is difficult to demonstrate the author's view that people are eager to buy low fat food. May be those respondents who support the low fat food will still want to have some so called high fat and cholesteral food when consider the good taste of them, or perhaps such low fat food is rather expensive compered with higher ones.

Further more, the passage only tell us that ODI is producing many high fat food, yet there is no evidence to show whether this company is marketing any low fat ones. It is entirely possible that ODI is a large company which made both of them. On the other hand, even if the high fat food is the only daily theme of ODI, there still some consumers prefer such ones, no further facts to show the declination of the business of ODI.

Plus, food stores, in order to earn more profits, should both consider the idea of low fat food buyers and high food customers, and thus is it ordinary to see various kind of food in it: heailthier one and those with higher fat and cholesteral. One can only see the low fat and cholesteral ones is too hasty to made the conclusion that low fat food is becoming more and more popular. This evidence even weaken the conlusion made above.

In sum, all these seemingly solid evidence are lacking of further proof. The argument would be more convincing if provided with better organized logic statement, more detailed statistical data such as the number of participants in the survey, all-sided imformation about ODI and the like. All these factors are vital in making the argument more persuasive.
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RE: argument15 【09GRE作文冲刺组】sreaptep 3月11日作文 [修改]

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argument15 【09GRE作文冲刺组】sreaptep 3月11日作文
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-927584-1-1.html
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