同主题写作ISSUE之【DIES IN FLAMES 0910G长线突破组】——ISSUE143 TASK BY 天天添添

天天添添UID: 2599433

昨天查一天资料完成草稿，今天上午修改完成。至少拼写错误会比第一篇少得多
Artworks are among themost valuable treasure ofhuman
race. Artists, who create art works, usually wish to get a positive evaluationfrom the critics. Because positive evaluation is helpful for their works to bepurchased and viewed. If an artist always gets negative opinion, he will lead apoor life. However, if a artist want to achieve certain targets, he should paylittle attention to the critics.

Critics,no matter professional art critics or critics from common people, theircriteria to evaluate the art works is based on the knowledge of art history.The knowledge provide no guarantee that the critic knows the artist will bestand “great” in history, or the art work is a masterpiece. When a criticevaluate an art work, he is expressing his own opinion of the art work. Even thecritic is an authority, his evaluation could be prejudice. So if an artist hasa new style and the style is not to the critics’ taste, the artist may get a negativeevaluation. This is likely to happen at the early stage when the artisthas his own style. The immature skill makes the artwork look stupid. If the artist pay much attention to the critics, he willprobably abandon his own style.

Whenan artists has his mature style, he should pay less attention to the critics.Some artists were so eminent that their works cannot be understood by thepeople of their generation. The artists were poor all their lives. But manyyears after their death, people realized that many works of the artist were masterpieces.The prices of the works were boosted to thousands,even millions, of times of the prices when the artist was still alive. If theartists had changed the style a little to meet the requirement of the criticsand the public, they would probably live a better life. But they insisted theirown style and priceless art works were created. Vincent Willem van Gogh, thegreat Dutch Post-Impressionist artist, is an example of this. His works couldnot be sold when he was alive. But nowadays, some of his paintings are nowamong the world's best known, most popular and expensive works of art. Noteverybody that insist his style will be as great as van Gogh, but if an artistdidn’t insist under the pressure of the critics, there would never get thepraise that he deserves.

Someartists always do their works to meet the requirement of the public. Usually,because these artists create the art works for money. This will cause the criticsto criticize them severely. The Hollywoodpicture, which is regard by some critics as artless, hollow and stupid, is anexample of this. But their commercial success will compensate the possible lossof art. However , masterpieces could be created by these artists. Schindler'sList, a movie of a Hollywood director, escaped the bounds of conventionalcriticism and is an example of this.

So,if artists want to stand great in history, they must pay little attention totheir critics. If they want to make money, they must ignore the critics as well.It they do their own work in their way, they will get what they want to get.

ddcmj519UID: 176326

格式：
红色------错误
绿色------我认为不妥
紫色------很好~
蓝色------总体感觉

同主题写作ISSUE之【DIES IN FLAMES 0910G长线突破组】——ISSUE143 TASK BY 天天添添
Art works are among the most valuable treasure of human race. Artists, who create art works, usually wish to get a positive evaluation from the critics. 【how do you know?我不认为额。。梵高创作只是为了抒发自己的感受。貌似没有表达过这种心情吧。】Because positive evaluation is helpful for their works to be purchased and viewed.【这个。买卖和艺术家，额，我觉得关系不大额。。艺术家就是 express 而已（见wiki定义），其他这些东西都是附属产生的吧。。】 If an artist always gets negative opinion, he will lead a poor life. However, if an artist wants to achieve certain targets, he should pay little attention to the critics.

Critics, no matter professional art critics or critics from common people【什么意思?不懂。。】, their criteria to evaluate the art works is based on the knowledge of art history. The knowledge provides no guarantee that the critic knows the artist will best and “great” in history, or the art work is a masterpiece. When a critic evaluates an art work, he is expressing his own opinion of the art work. Even the critic is an authority, his evaluation could be prejudice. So if an artist has a new style and the style does not cater to the critics’ taste, the artist may get a negative evaluation. This is likely to happen at the early stage when the artist has his own style. The immature skill makes the artwork look stupid.【着两个词带着你的主观了。明显贬义，跟主题不太搭。】 If the artist pay much attention to the critics, he will probably abandon his own style.【总的就是说批评限制发展，但是少个例子~有个例子支持可能会好些了~】

When an artists has his mature style, he should pay less attention to the critics.【怎么跟上段内容重复了呢？】 Some artists were so eminent that their works cannot be understood by the people of their generation. The artists were poor all their lives. 【这句太绝对了】But many years after their death, people realized that many works of the artist were masterpieces. The prices of the works were boosted to thousands, even millions, of times of the prices when the artist was still alive. If the artists had changed the style a little to meet the requirement of the critics and the public, they would probably live a better life. But they insisted their own style and priceless art works were created. Vincent Willem van Gogh, the great Dutch Post-Impressionist artist, is an example of this. His works could not be sold when he was alive.【其实卖出去了一幅的。。】 But nowadays, some of his paintings are now among the world's best known, most popular and expensive works of art. Not every body that insists his style will be as great as van Gogh, but if an artist didn’t insist under the pressure of the critics, there would never get the praise that he deserves.【分了入门级&高级但是所表现的critics只是单纯的一方面，老实说我觉得你是带着很多文艺复兴期的影响在写的。对critics还缺乏一个客观认识。他们也有贡献，Roger Fry，比如。而且他们也有他们的需求。你没有从这个方面分析下让你的文显得有些片面。】

Some artists always do their works to meet the requirement of the public. Usually, because these artists create the art works for money. This will cause the critics to criticize them severely. The Hollywood picture, which is regarded by some critics as artless, hollow and stupid, is an example of this. But their commercial success will compensate the possible loss of art. However, masterpieces could be created by these artists. Schindler's List, a movie of a Hollywood director, escaped the bounds of conventional criticism and is an example of this. 【看到这里，我觉得你这一段赛过之前两段的陈述了，例+理很透彻。。但是！！跟主题，跟前文，缺乏联系。这里扯远了。。需要关键句扯到主题上来。】

So, if artists want to stand great in history, they must pay little attention to their critics. If they want to make money, they must ignore the critics as well. It they do their own work in their way, they will get what they want to get.
【这段对上一段的总结，建议在上一段也出现类似内容，其实整体的思路我冒昧概括如下  新手artist----高手artist -----money artist 都不要太理睬critics。思路比较清晰，但是段于段衔接不够，过度&起承转合的很僵。另外建议多少分析下critics，这样才使你的文章看着比较全面。】
【另外】
这个。。是电脑问题还是啥的。。把你的文拖进word满篇红。。吓死我了。细看才发现是少了空格。。。汗。。

ddcmj519UID: 176326

有不当之处还望指出~咱再深度剖析嘎~~:loveliness: