5.6月份 cracking ibt essay! 小组写作组 rong0816的 第2次作业

rong0816UID: 2612194

I keep up a sturdy opposition to pay teachers according to their students’ performance.

Admittedly, teacher, as well doctor, is a definite scared job to human beings, for they not only pass on knowledge, but also teach their students how to behave in society. Especially in people’s childhood, teachers have a vital effect on their whole life. Like Sullivan to Helen Keller. In my point of view, paying them by students’ performance is an insult to this sacred job.


What's more, students’ performance relate to themselves as well as teachers. For instance, if the teacher tries his/her best to teacher a certain subject, which the student is not interested in or doesn’t will to learn. As a result, he/she performs poor. How can we say that the teacher doesn’t do a good job? So, it is unwise to pay teachers just by their students’ performance.

Maybe some people take it for granted that teachers will expand more care and though on students if they are acquainted that their salary has a connection to students’ performance. Is that right? I don’t think so. As I know, lots of teachers volunteer to poverty districts to educate the needy students. Not only are their salary low, but the conditions are harsh. However, they all work hard to help the students, even if they perform poor. Furthermore, real teachers put their students at the first place, rather than money. And these teachers will be respected by their students all the time. When Marie Curie trundled her first teacher and mounted the rostrum, the old teacher shed tears of excitement. Sure, students’ achievement is the biggest gratification to their teachers.

For the reasons presented above, I do oppose to pay teachers by students’ performance.

结尾有点差，想不来。给点建议吧……….

annazjyUID: 2630173

给点建议：For the reasons presented above，I do oppose to pay teachers by students’ performance. In my view, both subjects and teachers themselves have  impacts on students' performs. In addition, a perfect teacher should not be valued by money or other material things, as Chinese idiom said, teacher is a engineer of soul.

melody106UID: 2559573

I keep up a sturdy opposition to pay teachers according to their students’ performance.

Admittedly, teacher, as well doctor,（as well as 或者用likewise） is a definite scared job to human beings, for they not only pass on knowledge, but also teach their students how to behave in society. Especially in people’s childhood, teachers have a vital effect on their whole life. Like Sullivan to Helen Keller. In my point of view（from my point of view）, paying them by students’ performance is an insult to this sacred job.(insult这个词用的有点过了，对于务实的老外来说有点不可思议，就是方法好不好的问题，不会涉及到对老师的人格什么产生影响吧?我一家之言。)

What's more, students’ performance relate to themselves as well as teachers. For instance, if the teacher tries his/her best to teacher（teach） a certain subject, which the student is not interested in or doesn’t will（will是个情态动词哦，will not 或者does not want to 对了，提醒一下，写作文不能用缩写的。如I’ll 必须写为 I will） to learn. As a result, he/she performs poor. How can we say that the teacher doesn’t do a good job? So, it is unwise to pay teachers just by their students’ performance.

Maybe some people take it for granted that teachers will expand more care and though (thought?) on students if they are acquainted that their salary has a connection to students’ performance. Is that right? I don’t think so. As I know, lots of teachers volunteer to poverty districts to educate the needy students. Not only are their salary low, but the conditions are harsh. However, they all work hard to help the students, even if they perform poor. Furthermore, real teachers put their students at the first place, rather than money. And these teachers will be respected by their students all the time. When Marie Curie trundled her first teacher and mounted the rostrum, the old teacher shed tears of excitement. Sure, students’ achievement is the biggest gratification to their teachers.

For the reasons presented above, I do oppose to pay teachers by students’ performance.
结尾有点差，想不来。给点建议吧……….
结尾简单总结你上面的观点就好了，当然如果有时间可以把句式搞花哨点。李笑来185上可以找到一些好的句式。

yievenUID: 2324451

I keep up a sturdy opposition to pay teachers according to their students’ performance.

Admittedly, teacher, as well(just as.就算按原意也应当是as well as) doctor, is a definite scared job to human beings, for they(建议改掉，之前是teacher，是职业，不是指人，而且是单数。) not only pass on knowledge, but also teach their students how to behave in society. Especially in people’s childhood, teachers have a vital effect on their whole life. Like(, like) Sullivan to Helen Keller. In(From) my point of view, paying them by students’ performance is an insult to this sacred job.

What's more, students’ performance relate to themselves as well as teachers. For instance, if the teacher tries his/her best to teacher a certain subject, which the student is not interested in or doesn’t will to learn. As a result, he/she performs poor. How can we say that the teacher doesn’t do a good job? So, it is unwise to pay teachers just by their students’ performance.
Maybe some people take it for granted that teachers will expand(这个词不好。) more care and though() on students if they are acquainted that their salary has a connection to students’ performance. Is that right? I don’t think so. As I know, lots of teachers volunteer to poverty districts to educate the needy students. Not only are their salary low, but the conditions are harsh. However, they all work hard to help the students, even if they(those students[易导致混淆。因前面已有一个they，且指的是teachers。]) perform poor. Furthermore, real teachers put their students at the first place, rather than money. And these teachers will be respected by their students all the time. When Marie Curie trundled her first teacher and mounted the rostrum, the old teacher shed tears of excitement. Sure, students’ achievement is the biggest gratification to their teachers.

For the reasons presented above, I do oppose to pay teachers by students’ performance


是从金钱追求的角度来分析。
首末段，其中之一可以稍微展开讲一下。

rong0816UID: 2612194

2# annazjy

好强，谢谢谢~~~~~

annazjyUID: 2630173

楼上两位的修改已经很好了，我再做点补充，呵呵

I keep up a sturdy opposition to pay teachers according to their students’ performance.

Admittedly, teacher, as well(as well as) doctor, is a definite scared job to human beings（human being 这个词有点大，我想改成us）, for they(because teachers) not only pass on knowledge, but also teach their students how to behave in society. Especially in people’s （people也是，用our 怎么样？）childhood, teachers have a vital effect on their(our) whole life. Like(, like) Sullivan to Helen Keller. In(From) my point of view, paying them by students’ performance is an insult to this sacred job.
What's more, students’ performance relate to themselves as well as teachers. For instance, if the teacher tries his/her best to teach a certain subject, （，去掉）which the student is not interested in or doesn’t will  （willing 是形容词，be willing to do 改成not willing） to learn. As a result, he/she performs poor. How can we say that the teacher doesn’t do a good job? So, it is unwise to pay teachers just by their students’ performance.
Maybe some people take it for granted that teachers will expand(这个词不好。) more care and though(？) on students if they are acquainted that their salary（salaries） has（have） a connection to students’ performance. Is that right? I don’t think so. As I know, lots of teachers volunteer to poverty districts to educate the needy students. Not only are their salary low, but the conditions are harsh. However, they all work hard to help the students, even if they(those students) perform poor. Furthermore, real teachers put their students at the first place, rather than money. And these teachers will be respected by their students all the time. When Marie Curie trundled her first teacher and mounted the rostrum, the old teacher shed tears of excitement. Sure, students’ achievement is the biggest gratification to their teachers.
For the reasons presented above, I do oppose to pay teachers by students’ performance
例子很好，内容可以再扩充一下，呵呵