5.6月份 cracking ibt essay! 小组写作组 melody106的 第2次作业

melody106UID：2559573

Every kind of work need an assessment system to give a score for people who take responsibility and earn money. So does teaching. However, people always disagree with each other when it comes to how to evaluate the teacher's job. Someone hold that teachers should be paid according to their students' performs. As far as I am concerned, I cannot support this statement.

Besides the teachers' work, there are still many other factors which play a significant role on students' performs, such as students' interesting on study, parents' behaviors, and the study habits of students. It will be not fair to judge a teacher's work merely on the basis of the students' study outcomes without considering the edevours the teacher made during the teaching process.

In addition, this sort of evaluating system will inevitably diminish the enthusiasm of a teacher paying more attention to the students who are reluctant to study. Because the teacher will save his energy to take care of the excellent students as they are the provement of hard work. On this situation, the gap between the students' grades will turn out to be larger. Take my high school for instance, there was no teacher want to be in charge of the bad class in which students' grades were relatively lower than that of other classes when the teachers were paid according to the students' grades. This system led to wrong idea of education which does harm to students finally.

Furthermore, people who support this assassing method might say that we can define the performs of students in a wider range, which may include the awards students got in any field. But how can we score a teacher's job when he increase his students' creativity when there is no grade and no award. Obviously, this system is incomplete.

In conclusion, it is not wise to pay the teachers just depend on the students' performs. Because we want to provide the best education to every single student and also we are glad to pay teachers what they deserve. And this assessing method is not the ideal one.

又写超时了，大家使劲拍，谢啦。

rong0816UID：2612194

Every kind of work need（needs） an assessment system to give a score for people who take responsibility and earn money. So does teaching.（这句不好，你看，你用every，就等于下了一个定义是要一个评价系统，这明显与你的观点不符。我觉的省去为妙） However, people always disagree with each other when it comes to how to evaluate the teacher's job. Someone hold that teachers should be paid according to their students' performs. As far as I am concerned, I cannot support this statement.

Besides the teachers' work, there are still many other factors which play a significant role on students' performs, such as students' interesting on study, parents' behaviors, and the study habits of students. It will be not fair to judge a teacher's work merely on the basis of the students' study outcomes without considering the edevours（endeavor吗？） the teacher made during the teaching process.

In addition, this sort of evaluating system will inevitably diminish the enthusiasm of a teacher paying more attention to the students who are reluctant to study. Because the teacher will save his energy to take care of the excellent students as they are the provement（是想说证明吗？proof才是） of hard work. On this situation, the gap between the students' grades will turn out to be larger. Take my high school for instance, there was no teacher want to be in charge of the bad class in which students' grades were relatively lower than that of other classes when the teachers were paid according to the students' grades. This system led to wrong idea of education which does harm to students finally. (这段写的好!)

Furthermore, people who support this assessing method might say that we can define the performs(performance) of students in a wider range, which may include the awards students got in any field. But how can we score a teacher's job when he increases his students' creativity when there is no grade and no award. Obviously, this system is incomplete. (可能这里给出你的建议会更好)

In conclusion, it is not wise to pay the teachers just depend on the students' performs. Because we want to provide the best education to every single student and also we are glad to pay teachers what they deserve. And this assessing method is not the ideal one.

第二次改melody 的作文了，看到出melody在努力的用长，难句，这个值的我好好学习。
希望可以再example上多举点，这样可能能使文章的说服力更强。

Ps. 表达上，好像很单一，缺少有技巧的表达。可否举个例子？谢谢。呵呵……….也是我的弱点
都说啦，这是我的弱点，也说不出。有个建议个melody，也是我正在争取的：就是在看英语文章时，看到它有精彩的长，难句，试着抄下来，经过自己加工以后用到自己作文里。值的一试。
（*-*）

annazjyUID：2630173

Every kind of work need（needs） an assessment system to give a score for people who take responsibility and earn money(把earn money 去掉会好点). So does teaching. However, people always disagree with each other when it comes to how to evaluate the teacher's job. Someone hold(holds) that teachers should be paid according to their students' performs. As far as I am concerned（concern主要表示担忧的意思，换个词会好点，呵呵）, I cannot support this statement.

Besides the teachers' work, there are still many other factors which play a significant role on students' performs, such as students' interesting（interests） on study, parents' behaviors, and the study habits of students. It will be not fair to judge a teacher's work merely on the basis of the students' study outcomes without considering the edevours（endeavor吗？） the teacher made during the teaching process.（这句不错）
In addition, this sort of evaluating system will inevitably diminish the enthusiasm of a teacher paying more attention to the students who are reluctant to study. Because the teacher will save his/her energy to take care of the excellent students as they are the provement（proof） of hard work. On this situation, the gap between the students' grades will turn out to be larger. Take my high school for instance, there was no teacher want to be in charge of the bad class in which students' grades were relatively lower than that of other classes when the teachers were paid according to the students' grades. This system led to wrong idea of education which does harm to students finally.
Furthermore, people who support this assessing method might say that we can define the performs of students in a wider range, which may include the awards students got in any field. But how can we score a teacher's（用复数吧teachers’） job when he （they）increases （increase）his(their) students' creativity when there is no grade and no award. Obviously, this system is incomplete.
In conclusion, it is not wise to pay the teachers just depend (l两个动词，depending)on the students' performs. Because we want to（用should，呵呵） provide the best education to every single student and also we are glad to pay teachers what they deserve. And this assessing method is not the ideal one.

学习了:loveliness:

melody106UID：2559573

O(∩_∩)O谢谢点评。下面做个反馈。
Every kind of work need（needs） an assessment system to give a score for people who take responsibility and earn money. So does teaching.（这句不好，你看，你用every，就等于下了一个定义是要一个评价系统，这明显与你的观点不符。我觉的省去为妙，这个我没看懂你的意思。我觉得都可以称为system，只是题目中的这个不好。我文中没提该建个什么样的评价体系，应不会被认为不完整吧？） However, people always disagree with each other when it comes to how to evaluate the teacher's job. Someone hold that teachers should be paid according to their students' performs. As far as I am concerned, I cannot support this statement.
6 t2 i( R6 S: \9 b* ]- |; B : J, M5 y* n' x( |) ~
Besides the teachers' work, there are still many other factors which play a significant role on students' performs, such as students' interesting on study, parents' behaviors, and the study habits of students. It will be not fair to judge a teacher's work merely on the basis of the students' study outcomes without considering the edevours（endeavor吗？） the teacher made during the teaching process.
  E4 r& Z7 C6 Y " V2 W- ^& p) r& w5 s, o# n: d9 F2 D
In addition, this sort of evaluating system will inevitably diminish the enthusiasm of a teacher paying more attention to the students who are reluctant to study. Because the teacher will save his energy to take care of the excellent students as they are the provement（是想说证明吗？proof才是） of hard work. On this situation, the gap between the students' grades will turn out to be larger. Take my high school for instance, there was no teacher want to be in charge of the bad class in which students' grades were relatively lower than that of other classes when the teachers were paid according to the students' grades. This system led to wrong idea of education which does harm to students finally. (这段写的好!); Q# V/ ^7 U) X/ k

+ q6 P( |5 X3 ^, r* {8 _5 f& N, JFurthermore, people who support this assessing method might say that we can define the performs(performance) of students in a wider range, which may include the awards students got in any field. But how can we score a teacher's job when he increases his students' creativity when there is no grade and no award. Obviously, this system is incomplete. (可能这里给出你的建议会更好)8 K- d% m4 {' P$ S0 W

4 }/ z* r5 R; L9 t: p' t% V8 Q' PIn conclusion, it is not wise to pay the teachers just depend on the students' performs. Because we want to provide the best education to every single student and also we are glad to pay teachers what they deserve. And this assessing method is not the ideal one.
* a3 V6 M+ O% C4 |4 \8 g% L + b5 V+ H) G' _4 X! w
第二次改melody 的作文了，看到出melody在努力的用长，难句，这个值的我好好学习。" j6 o$ `  E* F6 O: h
希望可以再example上多举点，这样可能能使文章的说服力更强。哎，想不出例子来，其实对评分中例子的量搞不明白，多少才够呢？或者例子仅仅为表达服务，表达到位了就可以了？' P6 t" M3 l2 C & e3 c! R- k; B( A6 I/ T
Ps. 表达上，好像很单一，缺少有技巧的表达。可否举个例子？谢谢。呵呵……….也是我的弱点, o2 b! U% V9 H* V: |
都说啦，这是我的弱点，也说不出。有个建议个melody，也是我正在争取的：就是在看英语文章时，看到它有精彩的长，难句，试着抄下来，经过自己加工以后用到自己作文里。值的一试。0 [4 ]/ e$ E+ _% N" R! I 呵呵，我也有这样做，一起加油！（*-*）

melody106UID：2559573

2# rong0816
O(∩_∩)O谢谢点评。下面做个反馈。
Every kind of work need（needs） an assessment system to give a score for people who take responsibility and earn money. So does teaching.（这句不好，你看，你用every，就等于下了一个定义是要一个评价系统，这明显与你的观点不符。我觉的省去为妙，这个我没看懂你的意思。我觉得都可以称为system，只是题目中的这个不好。我文中没提该建个什么样的评价体系，应不会被认为不完整吧？） However, people always disagree with each other when it comes to how to evaluate the teacher's job. Someone hold that teachers should be paid according to their students' performs. As far as I am concerned, I cannot support this statement.

Besides the teachers' work, there are still many other factors which play a significant role on students' performs, such as students' interesting on study, parents' behaviors, and the study habits of students. It will be not fair to judge a teacher's work merely on the basis of the students' study outcomes without considering the edevours（endeavor吗？） the teacher made during the teaching process.
  E4 r& Z7 C6 Y " V2 W- ^& p) r& w5 s, o# n: d9 F2 D
In addition, this sort of evaluating system will inevitably diminish the enthusiasm of a teacher paying more attention to the students who are reluctant to study. Because the teacher will save his energy to take care of the excellent students as they are the provement（是想说证明吗？proof才是） of hard work. On this situation, the gap between the students' grades will turn out to be larger. Take my high school for instance, there was no teacher want to be in charge of the bad class in which students' grades were relatively lower than that of other classes when the teachers were paid according to the students' grades. This system led to wrong idea of education which does harm to students finally. (这段写的好!);
, people who support this assessing method might say that we can define the performs(performance) of students in a wider range, which may include the awards students got in any field. But how can we score a teacher's job when he increases his students' creativity when there is no grade and no award. Obviously, this system is incomplete. (可能这里给出你的建议会更好)8 K- d% m4 {' P$ S0 W

In conclusion, it is not wise to pay the teachers just depend on the students' performs. Because we want to provide the best education to every single student and also we are glad to pay teachers what they deserve. And this assessing method is not the ideal one.

第二次改melody 的作文了，看到出melody在努力的用长，难句，这个值的我好好学习。" j6 o$ `  E* F6 O: h
希望可以再example上多举点，这样可能能使文章的说服力更强。哎，想不出例子来，其实对评分中例子的量搞不明白，多少才够呢？或者例子仅仅为表达服务，表达到位了就可以了？

Ps. 表达上，好像很单一，缺少有技巧的表达。可否举个例子？谢谢。呵呵……….也是我的弱点, o2 b! U% V9 H* V: |
都说啦，这是我的弱点，也说不出。有个建议个melody，也是我正在争取的：就是在看英语文章时，看到它有精彩的长，难句，试着抄下来，经过自己加工以后用到自己作文里。值的一试。    呵呵，我也有这样做，一起加油！（*-*）

melody106UID：2559573

那个as far as I am concerned,是个固定搭配哦，“就我而言”，不是关心的意思哈。 3# annazjy