5.6月份 cracking ibt essay! 小组写作组 llacat 第2作业

llacatUID：2628715

Recently the problem has been brought into focus that what decide a proffer’s salary. Many schools are faced with such a dilemma that whether they should pay teachers according to their students’ performance. With every aspect taken into consideration, I believe that students’ achievement decide their teachers’ emolument would be a better choice.

First of all, teachers’ salary lies on the students’ performance is a highly efficient way for universities to pay for their faculty. When this way is fixed, the schools have not to come up with so many complicated ways about paying wages to their teachers. In some universities, a professor must to finish several academic papers with high quality every year, in order to earn the extra allowance .Consequently some teachers consider to giving up teaching in order to finish their thesis wholeheartedly. These decisions reduce the working efficiency of both schools and teachers undoubtedly. However if the school have a united way in paying salaries, such as take the students final scores into account ,it will increase the efficiency of both sides.

Moreover, the quality of education in a school should be given primary importance among priorities. When a professor’s final wage is closely related to the students’ achievement, s/he must pay more attention on the students. Suppose that in a university, a professor’s final salary have nothing to do with the students’ achievement, how many time do you think the professor will spend on the teaching and what the students will be in such environment? It is not surprising that boys will play computer games day and night and girls will addicted into parties or something else. While study maybe will become the latest thing they will do. So to understand the significance relationship between teachers’ salary and a schools’ final education quality, it will be more likely to agree with that idea.

Most important of all, when teachers’ paying is interrelated with their students’ final performance, they may increase the communication time with the students for improving their understanding in some fields. A high school in my hometown used to make a rule that if a teacher adds three
discussion times in the class, then s/he would get five percent bonus at ends of the year. Even this rule sound ridiculous to some people, it contributes a lot in improving that school’s atmosphere. The teacher could have chance and time to know about the real reflection from the students and the students could have opportunities to rise up their questions in some courses. From this case, those benefits can not without that reasonable rule.

Certainly, I can not deny that it may be unfair way to make a fixed relationship between students’ score and their teachers’ emoluments. Since some students may not be interested in learning and some students have a limit on how much they can learn. However, to link teachers’ wage with students’ achievements benefits a lot. Form what has been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that this relationship is a smart way in some aspects

lsr91UID：2540702

1# llacat
Recently the problem has been brought into focus that what decide a proffer’s salary. Many schools are faced with(建议改成come to，用的是对的) such a dilemma that whether they should pay teachers according to their students’ performance. With every aspect taken into consideration, I believe that students’ achievement decides their teachers’ emolument would be a better choice.(这句话正着说太中式了，建议改成被动句式更好)

First of all, teachers’ salary lies on the students’ performance is a highly efficient way for universities to pay for their faculty.(这句话我看是看懂了，但是稍感别扭，如果你是在某处借鉴的请告诉我一下，我不认为适当的借鉴是坏事，或者你能确定这句话没有语问题也请告诉我，我好学习一下~) When this way is fixed, the(不应该有the) schools have not to come up with so many complicated ways about paying wages to their teachers. In some universities, a professor must to finish several academic papers with high quality(太中式了，建议改成to finish several high gorgeous paper) every year, in order to earn the extra allowance .(外国教授不靠这个挣钱的主要，大多自己开公司，用学校的钱搞自己的项目之类的，你把他们想得太天真了~)Consequently some teachers(觉得自己这个表达二吗？) consider to giving(give) up teaching in order to finish their thesis wholeheartedly. These decisions reduce the working efficiency of both schools and teachers undoubtedly. However if the school have a united way in paying salaries, such as take the students final scores into account ,it will increase the efficiency of both sides.

Moreover, the quality of education in a school should be given primary importance among priorities. When a professor’s final wage is closely related to the students’ achievement, s/he must pay more attention on the students. Suppose that in a university, a professor’s final salary have nothing to do with the students’ achievement, how many time do you think the professor will spend on the teaching and what the students will be in such environment? It is not surprising that boys will play computer games day and night and girls will addicted into parties or something else. While study maybe will become the latest thing they will do. So to understand the significance relationship between teachers’ salary and a schools’ final education quality, it will be more likely to agree with that idea.

Most important of all, when teachers’ paying is interrelated with their students’ final performance, they may increase the communication time with the students for improving their understanding in some fields. A high school in my hometown used to make a rule that if a teacher adds three.
discussion times in the class, then s/he would get five percent bonus at ends of the year. Even this rule sounds ridiculous to some people, it contributes a lot in improving that school’s atmosphere. The teacher could have chance and time to know about the real reflection from the students and the students could have opportunities to rise up(raise up) their questions in some courses(again, 觉得二吗？). From this case, those benefits can not without that reasonable rule.

Certainly, I can not deny that it may be unfair way to make a fixed relationship between students’ score and their teachers’ emoluments. Since some students may not be interested in learning and some students have a limit on how much they can learn. However, to link teachers’ wage with students’ achievements benefits a lot. Form what has been discussed above(希望这句不是模板之类的东西，表达不错), we may safely draw the conclusion that this relationship is a smart way in some aspects(最后还给考官第三次认为你二的机会？).


我认为考官会给你3分（5分制）,多看看范文之类的东西，还有，some XXX 的错误表达不能再有了知道吗？

bnlcblgmdnUID：2632359

1# llacat
Recently the problem has been brought into focus that what decide a proffer’s salary. Many schools are faced with such a dilemma that whether they should pay teachers according to their students’ performance. With every aspect taken into consideration, I believe that students’ achievement decide their teachers’ emolument would be a better choice.
下划线的两个词似乎都应该加s
Face似乎不应用被动。改成ing吧

First of all, teachers’ salary lies on the students’ performance is a highly efficient way for universities to pay for their faculty. When this way is fixed, the schools have not to come up with so many complicated ways about paying wages to their teachers. In some universities, a professor must to finish several academic papers with high quality every year, in order to earn the extra allowance .Consequently some teachers consider to giving up teaching in order to finish their thesis wholeheartedly. These decisions reduce the working efficiency of both schools and teachers undoubtedly. However if the school have a united way in paying salaries, such as take the students final scores into account ,it will increase the efficiency of both sides.

个人感觉paying改成deciding可能更合适。Way about paying好像是关于发现金和打到银行卡里等等的感觉
working去掉更好。Working efficiency of schools总会有点奇怪
taking？

Moreover, the quality of education in a school should be given primary importance among priorities. When a professor’s final wage is closely related to the students’ achievement, s/he must pay more attention on the students. Suppose that in a university, a professor’s final salary have nothing to do with the students’ achievement, how many time do you think the professor will spend on the teaching and what the students will be in such environment? It is not surprising that boys will play computer games day and night and girls will addicted into parties or something else. While study maybe will become the latest thing they will do. So to understand the significance relationship between teachers’ salary and a schools’ final education quality, it will be more likely to agree with that idea.

第一句的后半段搭配我没有见过，如果有出处，就没问题。
must有点生硬。改成will naturally？因为与学生挂钩，他自然就会多加关照。
第三句，建议改成in a university, suppose that…, how…或者把in a university放在achievement之后
teaching 前的the可去掉
如果用while，就把前面的句号改成逗号；同时去掉maybe。或者，去掉while。
to改成once

Most important of all, when teachers’ paying is interrelated with their students’ final performance, they may increase the communication time with the students for improving their understanding in some fields. A high school in my hometown used to make a rule that if a teacher adds three discussion times in the class, then s/he would get five percent bonus at ends of the year. Even this rule sound ridiculous to some people, it contributes a lot in improving that school’s atmosphere. The teacher could have chance and time to know about the real reflection from the students and the students could have opportunities to rise up their questions in some courses. From this case, those benefits can not without that reasonable rule.

Paying改成payment；sound改成sounds；Can not中间不加空格

Certainly, I can not deny that it may be unfair way to make a fixed relationship between students’ score and their teachers’ emoluments. Since some students may not be interested in learning and some students have a limit on how much they can learn. However, to link teachers’ wage with students’ achievements benefits a lot. Form what has been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that this relationship is a smart way in some aspects

感觉作者的句子能力没有大问题的，很轻易的就可以写出挺长来。建议多读一些原版英文，这个读不是指阅读哈，就是用嘴读，进一步提升语感，你的文章一定会更地道。
第一次评，请多指教！

优秀的句子——It is not surprising that boys will play computer games day and night and girls will addicted into parties or something else.

zoezuohuangUID：2518976

Recently the problem has been brought into focus (on) what decide a proffer’s salary. Many schools are faced (被动语态用在这不是很妥哦!）with such a dilemma that whether they should pay teachers according to their students’ performance. With every aspect taken into consideration, I believe that students’ achievement decide their teachers’ emolument would be a better choice.(这句话表上看起来是没问题的，但实际上在逻辑上是不合理的，不是学生成绩决定教师的酬金，而是影响。）. i, （H( z5 l  } ( \1 T1 u3 s  {! x, M First of all, teachers’ salary lies on the students’ performance is a highly efficient way for universities to pay for their faculty. When this way is fixed, the schools have not to come up with so many complicated ways about paying wages to their teachers. （这句话没看懂！）In some universities, a professor must to finish several academic papers with high quality every year, in order to earn the extra allowance .Consequently some teachers consider to giving up teaching in order to finish their thesis whole heartedly. These decisions reduce the working efficiency of both schools and teachers undoubtedly. However if the school have a united way in paying salaries, such as take the students final scores into account ,it will increase the efficiency of both sides.全段是在说教师酬金按学生的成绩来分配会有效促进教学和研究，是吗？这个说法的正确性值得进一步考究！）% \$ \% p, i) e9 y1 X7 v - Q7 K( r$ X& o0 H$ g/ K Moreover, the quality of education in a school should be given primary importance among priorities. When a professor’s final wage is closely related to the students’ achievement, s/he must pay more attention on the students. Suppose that in a university, a professor’s final salary have nothing to do with the students’ achievement, how many time do you think the professor will spend on the teaching and what the students will be in such environment? It is not surprising that boys will play computer games day and night and girls will addicted into parties or something else. While study maybe will become the latest thing they will do. So to understand the significance relationship between teachers’ salary and a schools’ final education quality, it will be more likely to agree with that idea. （从评价的激励性来论述，不错！） Most important of all, when teachers’ paying is interrelated with their students’ final performance, they may increase the communication time with the students for improving their understanding in some fields. A high school in my hometown used to make a rule that if a teacher adds three discussion times in the class, then s/he would get five percent bonus at ends of the year. Even this rule sound ridiculous to some people, it contributes a lot in improving that school’s atmosphere. The teacher could have chance and time to know about the real reflection from the students and the students could have opportunities to rise up their questions in some courses. From this case, those benefits can not without that reasonable rule. Certainly, I can not deny that it may be unfair way to make a fixed relationship between students’ score and their teachers’ emoluments. Since some students may not be interested in learning and some students have a limit on how much they can learn. However, to link teachers’ wage with students’ achievements benefits a lot. Form what has been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that this relationship is a smart way in some aspects.*(Maybe I pay more attention to the content of this essay, actually, I think it's an academic article, we should use some evidences to support our view. The structure of the article and the aim of it should be clearly demonstrated. As for the grammar of these sentences, I haven't pointed out more than logical structure. Please understand me! Your essay is good that be worth my study.)