【INTO THE FIRE】 Argument14 by chenqiyan

chenqiyanUID: 2195033

ARGUMENT14 - The following appeared in a memo from the owner of Green Thumb Gardening Center, a small business serving a suburban town.

"There is evidence that consumers are becoming more and more interested in growing their own vegetables. A national survey conducted last month indicated that many consumers were dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarkets. And locally, the gardening magazine Great Gardens has sold out at the Village News stand three months in a row. Thus, we at Green Thumb Gardening Center can increase our profits by greatly expanding the variety of vegetable seeds we stock for gardeners this coming spring."

In this memo, the author, an owner of Green Thumb Gardening center, suggests expanding the variety of vegetable seeds they stock for gardener this coming spring to increase their profit. To substantiate his suggestion, the arguer point out evidence that consumers are more and more interested in growing their own vegetables. In addition, he indicates that most people have showed their satisfaction of the quality of fresh vegetables in the supermarket according to a national survey. Furthermore, he cites the result that the gardening magazine Great Garden has sold out at the village News Stand three months in a row to support this suggestion. In my point of view, this argument suffers from three logical flaws.

First, the arguer tells us "many" consumers are satisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables. However, the speaker fails to indicate the percentage of them, so this evidence is far too vague to be meaningful. In addition, a national survey can not be meaningful to the locality. Even the local place is as same as the survey, we just can not jump to the conclusion that people are becoming more interested in growing their own plants because the reason may exist that local people are just not satisfied with the variety of vegetables sold in supermarket and they just like to try something new or they become more interested in pork.

Secondly, the author indicate the magazine called Great Gardens has sold out three months in a row, failing to tell the exact number of it, because the total amount of the magazine may be less than ten, which reveals unsubstantiated evidence. Even so, the sold out of Great Garden can not result from people's interesting in growing their own vegetables because the content of such magazine maybe not about vegetables but flowers or healthy diet.

The last but not least, suppose people are becoming more interested in growing their own vegetable, the method of expanding the variety of vegetable seeds can not easily lead to increase of the arguer’s profit because people maybe interested in growing just several kinds of vegetable. Furthermore, expanding the variety of vegetable seeds will cost much more.

To sum up, this argument fails to substantiate its claim that to increase their profits by expanding the variety of vegetable seeds. To make the argument more convincing, the arguer should have conduct a local survey which including whether the people are interested in growing their own vegetable with an enough quantity of samples and the accurate percentage of which kind of vegetable they like most. Therefore, if the author had included the given factors discussed above, it could have been more thorough and logically acceptable.

zyp8756UID: 2594775

ARGUMENT14 - The following appeared in a memo from the owner of Green Thumb Gardening Center, a small business serving a suburban town.

"There is evidence that consumers are becoming more and more interested in growing their own vegetables. A national survey conducted last month indicated that many consumers were dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarkets. And locally, the gardening magazine Great Gardens has sold out at the Village News stand three months in a row. Thus, we at Green Thumb Gardening Center can increase our profits by greatly expanding the variety of vegetable seeds we stock for gardeners this coming spring."

In this memo, the author, an owner of Green Thumb Gardening center, suggests expanding the variety of vegetable seeds they stock for gardener（园艺爱好者有狭隘之感 特质园丁之类 用consumers or patrons可能会避免歧义） this coming spring to increase their profit（这句话读起来别扭改成this coming spring the variety of vegetable seeds should be expanded for patrons to increase their profit可能会好些）. To substantiate his suggestion, the arguer point out evidence（单数还是复数好？讨论下） that consumers are （becoming） more and more interested in growing their own vegetables. In addition, he indicates that most （这里加 of感觉舒服些）people have showed their satisfaction（dissatisfaction如果满意就不会去买他的种子了） of the quality of fresh vegetables in the supermarket according to a national survey. Furthermore, he cites the result that the gardening magazine Great Garden has sold out at the village News Stand（stand） three months in a row（in a row在这句话怎么翻译 不太明白） to support this suggestion. In my point of view, this argument suffers from three logical flaws.

First, the arguer tells us "many" consumers are （也是只消费者对蔬菜不满意 加dis）satisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables. However, the speaker fails to indicate the percentage of them, so this evidence is far too vague to be meaningful（这里的far与too意义是否重叠？）. In addition（上文已经出现一次 可以用Additionally）, a national survey can not be meaningful（可以同义词替换 如significant） to the locality. Even(加if) the local place is as same as(改成the same as or as the same as, “the” should not be lost ) the survey, we just can not jump to the conclusion that people are becoming more interested（此处 become more interested上文出现过 用fall love in代替are becoming more interested in可能好些） in growing their own plants because（用since代替） the reason may exist that（the reason may exist that删除because和reason逻辑重复） local people are just not satisfied with the variety of vegetables sold（selling） in supermarket（语言组织不力，个人感觉逻辑混乱，just not一开始我就翻译成不仅仅 这句话就翻译成：不仅仅对蔬菜种类满意 后来才感觉不对 改成local people are not dissatisfied用双重否定表达更有逻辑感 你觉得呢？而且这段文字just太多了 是不是可以用only代替下） and they just like（用want更符合逻辑） to try something new or they become more interested in pork（they become more interested in pork这条缺乏逻辑说服力，pork是怎么出来的？而且they become more interested in pork 是否包含在try something new中呢，如果这样，中间就不可以用and来连接，可以说try something new，for example，they are fond of fishing and traveling）.

Secondly（与前文first对照 此处应用second）, the author indicate the magazine called Great Gardens has sold out three months in a row, failing to tell the exact number of it(语法不好，不太明白failing to tell the exact number of it算是插入语吗？), because the total amount of the magazine may be less than ten（这属于个人对于销售量的假设，不能用because，用perhaps代替，同时去掉maybe比较好，给人有余地的感觉，更有说服力）, which reveals unsubstantiated evidence（这句别扭，还说不出来，到时一起研究下）. Even so（我猜到这句“虽然如此”对应的是“就算确切的销售数量确实很大”，但你前面数量不精确的反驳容易使人对even so的“虽然如此”前提产生迷惑，致使逻辑不清晰，不知道我说没说明白）, （这里应该加个perhaps或者it is possible that）the sold out of(of去掉) Great Garden can not result from people's interesting in（改成people’s interest of 因为interesting是形容词） growing their own vegetables because the content of such magazine maybe not about vegetables but flowers or healthy diet.（maybe the content of the magazine is not about vegetables but flowers or healthy diet.
二处改进 可能好些）

The last but not least, suppose people are becoming more interested in growing their own vegetable（没主语 加上author）, (缺转折词)the method of（“方法”这里容易使人们认为是卖种子的方法，如营销技巧，与文章内容脱节，应去掉） expanding the variety of vegetable seeds can not easily lead to increase（to在这是介词吗？increase是否应该用动名词？） of the arguer’s profit because people maybe interested in growing just several kinds of vegetable（加s）. Furthermore, expanding the variety of vegetable seeds will cost much more (the cost of expanding the variety of vegetable seeds will be much more个人感觉舒服些).

To sum up（后面有一个to make 两个to有单调之感，可以同义词替换 如：consequentially）, this argument fails to substantiate its（his） claim that to increase their profits by expanding the variety of vegetable seeds. To make the argument more convincing, the arguer should have conduct a local survey which(这次可以去掉) including whether the people are interested in growing their own vegetable with an enough quantity of samples and the accurate percentage of which kind of vegetable they like most. Therefore, if the author had included the given factors discussed above, it could have been more thorough and logically acceptable.
总：1.结果顺序安排合理与文章一致，但是小的逻辑错误不少，容易引起歧义；
2.author speaker arguer这几个词不需要同义词替换 选取一个 然后一直使用即可,而文章中其他一些词可以侧重同义词积累，避免文章单调。

zyp8756UID: 2594775

ARGUMENT14 - The following appeared in a memo from the owner of Green Thumb Gardening Center, a small business serving a suburban town.

"There is evidence that consumers are becoming more and more interested in growing their own vegetables. A national survey conducted last month indicated that many consumers were dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarkets. And locally, the gardening magazine Great Gardens has sold out at the Village News stand three months in a row. Thus, we at Green Thumb Gardening Center can increase our profits by greatly expanding the variety of vegetable seeds we stock for gardeners this coming spring."

In this memo, the author, an owner of Green Thumb Gardening center, suggests expanding the variety of vegetable seeds they stock for gardener（园艺爱好者有狭隘之感 特质园丁之类 用consumers or patrons可能会避免歧义） this coming spring to increase their profit（这句话读起来别扭改成this coming spring the variety of vegetable seeds should be expanded for patrons to increase their profit可能会好些）. To substantiate his suggestion, the arguer point out evidence（单数还是复数好？讨论下） that consumers are （becoming） more and more interested in growing their own vegetables. In addition, he indicates that most （这里加 of感觉舒服些）people have showed their satisfaction（dissatisfaction如果满意就不会去买他的种子了） of the quality of fresh vegetables in the supermarket according to a national survey. Furthermore, he cites the result that the gardening magazine Great Garden has sold out at the village News Stand（stand） three months in a row（in a row在这句话怎么翻译 不太明白） to support this suggestion. In my point of view, this argument suffers from three logical flaws.

First, the arguer tells us "many" consumers are （也是只消费者对蔬菜不满意 加dis）satisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables. However, the speaker fails to indicate the percentage of them, so this evidence is far too vague to be meaningful（这里的far与too意义是否重叠？）. In addition（上文已经出现一次 可以用Additionally）, a national survey can not be meaningful（可以同义词替换 如significant） to the locality. Even(加if) the local place is as same as(改成the same as or as the same as, “the” should not be lost ) the survey, we just can not jump to the conclusion that people are becoming more interested（此处 become more interested上文出现过 用fall love in代替are becoming more interested in可能好些） in growing their own plants because（用since代替） the reason may exist that（the reason may exist that删除because和reason逻辑重复） local people are just not satisfied with the variety of vegetables sold（selling） in supermarket（语言组织不力，个人感觉逻辑混乱，just not一开始我就翻译成不仅仅 这句话就翻译成：不仅仅对蔬菜种类满意 后来才感觉不对 改成local people are not dissatisfied用双重否定表达更有逻辑感 你觉得呢？而且这段文字just太多了 是不是可以用only代替下） and they just like（用want更符合逻辑） to try something new or they become more interested in pork（they become more interested in pork这条缺乏逻辑说服力，pork是怎么出来的？而且they become more interested in pork 是否包含在try something new中呢，如果这样，中间就不可以用and来连接，可以说try something new，for example，they are fond of fishing and traveling）.

Secondly（与前文first对照 此处应用second）, the author indicate the magazine called Great Gardens has sold out three months in a row, failing to tell the exact number of it(语法不好，不太明白failing to tell the exact number of it算是插入语吗？), because the total amount of the magazine may be less than ten（这属于个人对于销售量的假设，不能用because，用perhaps代替，同时去掉maybe比较好，给人有余地的感觉，更有说服力）, which reveals unsubstantiated evidence（这句别扭，还说不出来，到时一起研究下）. Even so（我猜到这句“虽然如此”对应的是“就算确切的销售数量确实很大”，但你前面数量不精确的反驳容易使人对even so的“虽然如此”前提产生迷惑，致使逻辑不清晰，不知道我说没说明白）, （这里应该加个perhaps或者it is possible that）the sold out of(of去掉) Great Garden can not result from people's interesting in（改成people’s interest of 因为interesting是形容词） growing their own vegetables because the content of such magazine maybe not about vegetables but flowers or healthy diet.（maybe the content of the magazine is not about vegetables but flowers or healthy diet.
二处改进 可能好些）

The last but not least, suppose people are becoming more interested in growing their own vegetable（没主语 加上author）, (缺转折词)the method of（“方法”这里容易使人们认为是卖种子的方法，如营销技巧，与文章内容脱节，应去掉） expanding the variety of vegetable seeds can not easily lead to increase（to在这是介词吗？increase是否应该用动名词？） of the arguer’s profit because people maybe interested in growing just several kinds of vegetable（加s）. Furthermore, expanding the variety of vegetable seeds will cost much more (the cost of expanding the variety of vegetable seeds will be much more个人感觉舒服些).

To sum up（后面有一个to make 两个to有单调之感，可以同义词替换 如：consequentially）, this argument fails to substantiate its（his） claim that to increase their profits by expanding the variety of vegetable seeds. To make the argument more convincing, the arguer should have conduct a local survey which(这次可以去掉) including whether the people are interested in growing their own vegetable with an enough quantity of samples and the accurate percentage of which kind of vegetable they like most. Therefore, if the author had included the given factors discussed above, it could have been more thorough and logically acceptable.
总：1.结果顺序安排合理与文章一致，但是小的逻辑错误不少，容易引起歧义；
2.author speaker arguer这几个词不需要同义词替换 选取一个 然后一直使用即可,而文章中其他一些词可以侧重同义词积累，避免文章单调。

zyp8756UID: 2594775

word标记的颜色上传完怎么就都变回黑色了 我再弄弄 下午晚上给你看I

zyp8756UID: 2594775

这个附件是上面内容的WORD文档 内容一样 这里有颜色区别 看着方便

zyp8756UID: 2594775

In this memo, the author, an owner of Green Thumb Gardening center, suggests expanding the variety of vegetable seeds they stock for gardener（园艺爱好者有狭隘之感 特质园丁之类 用consumers or patrons可能会避免歧义） this coming spring to increase their profit（这句话读起来别扭改成this coming spring the variety of vegetable seeds should be expanded for patrons to increase their profit可能会好些）. To substantiate his suggestion, the arguer point out evidence（单数还是复数好？讨论下） that consumers are （becoming） more and more interested in growing their own vegetables. In addition, he indicates that most （这里加 of感觉舒服些）people have showed their satisfaction（dissatisfaction如果满意就不会去买他的种子了） of the quality of fresh vegetables in the supermarket according to a national survey. Furthermore, he cites the result that the gardening magazine Great Garden has sold out at the village News Stand（stand） three months in a row（in a row在这句话怎么翻译 不太明白） to support this suggestion. In my point of view, this argument suffers from three logical flaws.

First, the arguer tells us "many" consumers are （也是只消费者对蔬菜不满意 加dis）satisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables. However, the speaker fails to indicate the percentage of them, so this evidence is far too vague to be meaningful（这里的far与too意义是否重叠？）. In addition（上文已经出现一次 可以用Additionally）, a national survey can not be meaningful（可以同义词替换 如significant） to the locality. Even(加if) the local place is as same as(改成the same as or as the same as, “the” should not be lost ) the survey, we just can not jump to the conclusion that people are becoming more interested（此处 become more interested上文出现过 用fall love in代替are becoming more interested in可能好些） in growing their own plants because（用since代替） the reason may exist that（the reason may exist that删除because和reason逻辑重复） local people are just not satisfied with the variety of vegetables sold（selling） in supermarket（语言组织不力，个人感觉逻辑混乱，just not一开始我就翻译成不仅仅 这句话就翻译成：不仅仅对蔬菜种类满意 后来才感觉不对 改成local people are not dissatisfied用双重否定表达更有逻辑感 你觉得呢？而且这段文字just太多了 是不是可以用only代替下） and they just like（用want更符合逻辑） to try something new or they become more interested in pork（they become more interested in pork这条缺乏逻辑说服力，pork是怎么出来的？而且they become more interested in pork 是否包含在try something new中呢，如果这样，就不属于并列关系，中间就不可以用and来连接，可以说try something new，for example，they are fond of fishing and traveling）.

Secondly（与前文first对照 此处应用second）, the author indicate the magazine called Great Gardens has sold out three months in a row, failing to tell the exact number of it(本人语法不好，不太明白failing to tell the exact number of it算是插入语吗？), because the total amount of the magazine may be less than ten（这属于个人对于销售量的假设，不能用because，用perhaps代替，同时去掉maybe比较好，给人有余地的感觉，更有说服力）, which reveals unsubstantiated evidence（这句别扭，还说不出来，到时一起研究下）. Even so（我猜到这句“虽然如此”对应的是“就算确切的销售数量确实很大”，但你前面数量不精确的反驳容易使人对even so的“虽然如此”的前提产生迷惑，致使逻辑不清晰，不知道我说没说明白）, （这里应该加个perhaps或者it is possible that）the sold out of(of去掉) Great Garden can not result from people's interesting in（改成people’s interest of 因为interesting是形容词） growing their own vegetables because the content of such magazine maybe not about vegetables but flowers or healthy diet.（maybe the content of the magazine is not about vegetables but flowers or healthy diet.
二处改进 可能好些）

The last but not least, suppose people are becoming more interested in growing their own vegetable（没主语 加上author）, (缺转折词)the method of（“方法”这里容易使人们认为是卖种子的方法，如营销技巧，与文章内容脱节，应去掉） expanding the variety of vegetable seeds can not easily lead to increase（to在这是介词吗？increase是否应该用动名词？） of the arguer’s profit because people maybe interested in growing just several kinds of vegetable（加s）. Furthermore, expanding the variety of vegetable seeds will cost much more (the cost of expanding the variety of vegetable seeds will be much more个人感觉舒服些).

To sum up（后面有一个to make 两个to有单调之感，可以同义词替换 如：consequentially）, this argument fails to substantiate its（his） claim that to increase their profits by expanding the variety of vegetable seeds. To make the argument more convincing, the arguer should have conduct a local survey which(这词可以去掉) including whether the people are interested in growing their own vegetable with an enough quantity of samples and the accurate percentage of which kind of vegetable they like most. Therefore, if the author had included the given factors discussed above, it could have been more thorough and logically acceptable.
总：1.结果顺序安排合理与文章一致，但是小的逻辑错误不少，容易引起歧义；
2.author speaker arguer这几个词不需要同义词替换 选取一个 然后一直使用即可,而文章中其他一些词可以侧重同义词积累，避免文章单调。

chenqiyanUID: 2195033

修改看了，加黑粗体是我的回复。另外，回复的时候用高级就可以保留word里的颜色格式了。



ARGUMENT14 - The following appeared in a memo from the owner of Green Thumb Gardening Center, a small business serving a suburban town.

"There is evidence that consumers are becoming more and more interested in growing their own vegetables. A national survey conducted last month indicated that many consumers were dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarkets. And locally, the gardening magazine Great Gardens has sold out at the Village News stand three months in a row. Thus, we at Green Thumb Gardening Center can increase our profits by greatly expanding the variety of vegetable seeds we stock for gardeners this coming spring."

In this memo, the author, an owner of Green Thumb Gardening center, suggests expanding the variety of vegetable seeds they stock for gardener（园艺爱好者有狭隘之感 特质园丁之类 用consumers or patrons可能会避免歧义） this coming spring to increase their profit（这句话读起来别扭改成this coming spring the variety of vegetable seeds should be expanded for patrons to increase their profit可能会好些）. To substantiate his suggestion, the arguer point out evidence（单数还是复数好？讨论下回答：请看此贴https://bbs.gter.net/thread-502641-1-1.html） that consumers are （becoming） more and more interested in growing their own vegetables. In addition, he indicates that most （这里加 of感觉舒服些，回答：most people也一样的，如何要加of的话就要加the了，即most of the people）people have showed their satisfaction（dissatisfaction如果满意就不会去买他的种子了） of the quality of fresh vegetables in the supermarket according to a national survey. Furthermore, he cites the result that the gardening magazine Great Garden has sold out at the village News Stand（stand） three months in a row（in a row在这句话怎么翻译 不太明白。回答：in a row在这里是“连续”的意思，整句翻译出来就是园艺杂志《大花园》在“Village New”报亭连续三个月售罄。） to support this suggestion. In my point of view, this argument suffers from three logical flaws.

First, the arguer tells us "many" consumers are （也是只消费者对蔬菜不满意 加dis）satisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables. However, the speaker fails to indicate the percentage of them, so this evidence is far too vague to be meaningful（这里的far与too意义是否重叠？回答：网上查了，far需要带比较级或too+原级：It is far better to say nothing．He drives far too fast．因此我的句子可以用的。）. In addition（上文已经出现一次 可以用Additionally）, a national survey can not be meaningful（可以同义词替换 如significant） to the locality. Even(加if) the local place is as same as(改成the same as or as the same as, “the” should not be lost ) the survey, we just can not jump to the conclusion that people are becoming more interested（此处 become more interested上文出现过 用fall love in代替are becoming more interested in可能好些） in growing their own plants because（用since代替） the reason may exist that（the reason may exist that删除because和reason逻辑重复） local people are just not satisfied with the variety of vegetables sold（selling，） in supermarket（语言组织不力，个人感觉逻辑混乱，just not一开始我就翻译成不仅仅 这句话就翻译成：不仅仅对蔬菜种类满意 后来才感觉不对 改成local people are not dissatisfied用双重否定表达更有逻辑感 你觉得呢？而且这段文字just太多了 是不是可以用only代替下。回答：当时是想错了，应该是dissatisfied，否则整个逻辑要乱了） and they just like（用want更符合逻辑） to try something new or they become more interested in pork（they become more interested in pork这条缺乏逻辑说服力，pork是怎么出来的？而且they become more interested in pork 是否包含在try something new中呢，如果这样，中间就不可以用and来连接，可以说try something new，for example，they are fond of fishing and traveling）.

Secondly（与前文first对照 此处应用second）, the author indicate the magazine called Great Gardens has sold out three months in a row, （回答：句号去掉）failing to tell the exact number of it(语法不好，不太明白failing to tell the exact number of it算是插入语吗？回答：这里应该是句号。), because the total amount of the magazine may be less than ten（这属于个人对于销售量的假设，不能用because，用perhaps代替，同时去掉maybe比较好，给人有余地的感觉，更有说服力）, （回答：逗号去掉）which reveals unsubstantiated evidence（这句别扭，还说不出来，到时一起研究下回答：前面两个回答应该可以解决问题了）. Even so（我猜到这句“虽然如此”对应的是“就算确切的销售数量确实很大”，但你前面数量不精确的反驳容易使人对even so的“虽然如此”前提产生迷惑，致使逻辑不清晰，不知道我说没说明白）, （这里应该加个perhaps或者it is possible that）the sold out of(of去掉) Great Garden can not result from people's interesting in（改成people’s interest of 因为interesting是形容词） growing their own vegetables because the content of such magazine maybe not about vegetables but flowers or healthy diet.（maybe the content of the magazine is not about vegetables but flowers or healthy diet.
二处改进 可能好些）

The last but not least, suppose people are becoming more interested in growing their own vegetable（没主语 加上author）, (缺转折词)the method of（“方法”这里容易使人们认为是卖种子的方法，如营销技巧，与文章内容脱节，应去掉） expanding the variety of vegetable seeds can not easily lead to increase（to在这是介词吗？increase是否应该用动名词？回答：increase可以当名词，应该是lead to the increase of） of the arguer’s profit because people maybe interested in growing just several kinds of vegetable（加s）. Furthermore, expanding the variety of vegetable seeds will cost much more (the cost of expanding the variety of vegetable seeds will be much more个人感觉舒服些).

To sum up（后面有一个to make 两个to有单调之感，可以同义词替换 如：consequentially）, this argument fails to substantiate its（his） claim that to increase their profits by expanding the variety of vegetable seeds. To make the argument more convincing, the arguer should have conduct a local survey which(这次可以去掉) including whether the people are interested in growing their own vegetable with an enough quantity of samples and the accurate percentage of which kind of vegetable they like most. Therefore, if the author had included the given factors discussed above, it could have been more thorough and logically acceptable.
总：1.结果顺序安排合理与文章一致，但是小的逻辑错误不少，容易引起歧义；
2.author speaker arguer这几个词不需要同义词替换 选取一个 然后一直使用即可,而文章中其他一些词可以侧重同义词积累，避免文章单调。

zyp8756UID: 2594775

1.evidence咱一般用的证据意思 用单数比较保险；
2.It is far better to say nothing．那翻译成那很最好什么也别说，有些绕嘴呢。He drives far too fast．用在这里far too这两个单词意思感觉重叠，虽然语法不错；
3.in a row小短语不错 可以代替sequentially
其他的没什么了~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~:)