Argument173 @@A DREAM @@小组第1次作业 by houlmes

houlmesUID: 2595866

ARGUMENT173
The following is a memorandum issued by the publisher of a newsmagazine, Newsbeat, in the country of Dinn.

'Our poorest-selling magazine issues over the past three years were those that featured international news stories on their front covers. Over the same period, competing news-magazines have significantly decreased the number of cover stories that they devote to international news. Moreover, the cost of maintaining our foreign bureaus to report on international news is increasing. Therefore, we should decrease our emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying such stories on our magazine covers.'

第一篇argument，模仿和改写了很多，别判我雷同啊~

字数442

Based on the evidences that the competing news-magazines has decreased their devotes to international news and the cost of international bureaus is increasing, the arguer draws recommends that the news-magazine should decrease its emphasis on international news and retain from displaying such stories on its magazines covers. Although various evidences was cited to justify the recommendation, close scrutiny to each piece of evidence, however, indicates that they lead little support to the recommendation.

First of all, the author fails to establish a casual relationship between featuring international news stories on magazines’ front covers and the poor sales of these issues. The arguer presumptuously cast the reason of poorest-selling to the covers without all-sided thinking; in fact, the substance of a news-magazine would draw more attention rather than the covers. It is possible this magazine is more expensive than those competing magazines. Or readers may actually like international stories in general, but the international stories in this magazine provided to readers were too boring or outdated to their tastes. Unless the arguer recognizes and rules out these possibilities of the decreasing sales, his/her conclusion is ungrounded.

Another questionable assumption made by the author is that the competing news-magazines have made progressed or made profits after decreasing the number of cover stories related to the international news. It is possible that it is because competitors cannot maintain its readers in contrast with us that they give up the field of international news-covered magazines. If so, it may just give Newsbeat the advantage of being the only magazine coving international news. The author's conclusion that the news-magazine should decrease its emphasis on international news is unconvincing under these scenarios.

Last but not least, the increasing costs of foreign bureaus to report international news does not mean that we should decrease such kind of costs in order to reduce the whole costs and make profits. The increasing costs of foreign bureaus may result from the financial crisis, which would revive in the future. Even though international news is displayed on magazine covers, the cost of foreign bureaus should not be cut down, because money is used in many aspects apart from printing news pictures on covers. The divestment of bureaus would lead to the potential failure of Newsbeat in the future, for giving up the mighty supremacy.

In conclusion, the recommendation for Newsbeat is not well supported. To better bolster and strengthen the argument, the arguer shouldguarantee us that the international news covers is the only reason contributes to the poorest selling and the costs spending on international bureaus is far surpassed beyond their needs. Only in this way could this argument be more aggressive.

112810asUID: 2646494

Based on the evidences that the competing news-magazines has decreased their devotes to international news and the cost of international bureaus is increasing, the arguer draws recommends that the news-magazine should decrease its emphasis on international news and retain from displaying such stories on its magazines covers. Although various evidences was cited to justify the recommendation, close scrutiny to each piece of evidence, however, indicates that they lead little support to the recommendation.






First of all, the author fails to establish a casual relationship between featuring international news stories on magazines’ front covers and the poor sales of these issues. The arguer presumptuously cast the reason of poorest-selling to the covers without all-sided thinking; in fact, the substance of a news-magazine would draw more attention rather than the covers. It is possible this magazine is more expensive than those competing magazines. Or readers may actually like international stories in general, but the international stories in this magazine provided to readers were too boring or outdated to their tastes. Unless the arguer recognizes and rules out these possibilities of the decreasing sales, his/her conclusion is ungrounded.(和第一段不照应，第一段列出的逻辑错误只有两个，而这一段的不再第一段所列范围内）




Another questionable assumption made by the author is that the competing news-magazines have made progressed or made profits after decreasing the number of cover stories related to the international news. It is possible that it is because competitors cannot maintain its readers in contrast with us that they give up the field of international news-covered magazines. If so, it may just give Newsbeat the advantage of being the only magazine coving international news. The author's conclusion that the news-magazine should decrease its emphasis on international news is unconvincing under these scenarios.（我觉得这个逻辑错误你可以多写些攻击点，你只写出了一个原因，我认为有点少，不足以让人信服）






Last but not least, the increasing costs of foreign bureaus to report international news does not mean that we should decrease such kind of costs in order to reduce the whole costs and make profits. The increasing costs of foreign bureaus may result from the financial crisis, which would revive in the future. Even though international news is displayed on magazine covers, the cost of foreign bureaus should not be cut down, because money is used in many aspects apart from printing news pictures on covers. The divestment of bureaus would lead to the potential failure of Newsbeat in the future, for giving up the mighty supremacy.




In conclusion, the recommendation for Newsbeat is not well supported. To better bolster and strengthen the argument, the arguer shouldguarantee us that the international news covers is the only reason contributes to the poorest selling and the costs spending on international bureaus is far surpassed beyond their needs. Only in this way could this argument be more aggressive.

感觉你和我的问题差不多，虽然都是仿照范文写的，但是感觉和范文有很大差距。
第一是自己逻辑分析不够透彻，第二是对攻击逻辑错误的方法掌握不够~
个人观点，有待讨论~

houlmesUID: 2595866

感谢哦~

robotwishUID: 2550184

紫色是用的好的

红色是需要修改和琢磨的

Based on the evidences that the competing news-magazines has decreased their devotes（查了韦氏，没有名词的解释） to international news and the cost of international bureaus is increasing, the arguer draws recommends that the news-magazine should decrease its emphasis on international news and retain from displaying such stories on its magazines covers. Although various evidences was cited to justify the recommendation, close scrutiny to each piece of evidence, however, （缺乏主语）indicates that they lead little support to（这里用lead to合适吗） the recommendation.

First of all, the author fails to establish a casual relationship between featuring international news stories on magazines’ front covers and the poor sales of these issues（the poor-selling issues）. The arguer presumptuously cast the reason of poorest-selling（poorest sales） to the covers without all-sided thinking; in fact, the substance（表达模糊 ）of a news-magazine would（be） draw more attention rather than the covers. It is possible this magazine is more expensive than those competing magazines. Or readers may actually like international stories in general, but the international stories in this magazine provided to readers were too boring or outdated to （加个动词好一点，虽然这里可以理解为非TOO TO 巨型，但是避免引起误会还是保险点好） their tastes. Unless the arguer recognizes and rules out these possibilities of the decreasing sales, his/her conclusion is ungrounded.

Another questionable assumption made by the author is that the competing news-magazines have made progressed or made profits after decreasing the number of cover stories related to the international news. It is possible that it is because competitors cannot maintain its readers in contrast with us（？你站到author的角度了？） that they give up the field of international news-covered magazines. If so, it may just give Newsbeat the advantage of being the only magazine coving international news. The author's conclusion that the news-magazine should decrease its emphasis on international news is unconvincing under these scenarios.

Last but not least, the increasing costs of foreign bureaus to report international news does not mean that we should decrease such kind of costs in order to reduce the whole costs and make profits. The increasing costs of foreign bureaus may result from the financial crisis, which would revive in the future. Even though international news is displayed on magazine covers, the cost of foreign bureaus should not be cut down, because money is used in many aspects apart from printing news pictures on covers. The divestment of bureaus would lead to the potential failure of Newsbeat in the future, for giving up the mighty supremacy.

In conclusion, the recommendation for Newsbeat is not well supported. To better bolster and strengthen the argument, the arguer should guarantee us that the international news covers is the only reason contributes to the poorest selling and the costs spending on international bureaus is far surpassed beyond their needs. Only in this way could this argument be more aggressive.

总结:总体结构没有问题，可能第二段应该深化一点，词汇量比较丰富，有些不准确的地方，我指出了一些，但自身水平有限，有的并未确信无疑地给你改正，，不对的地方还请指出，今天头脑不是很清楚，逻辑上有些没有说清，待我再来改