Issue13 @@A DREAM @@小组第1次作业 by bestcamp

bestcampUID: 2640940

素材

bestcampUID: 2640940

ISSUE13：Many of the world’s lesser-known languages are being lost as fewer and fewer people speak them. The governments of countries in which these languages are spoken should act to prevent such languages from becoming extinct.

题目翻译：世界上许多稍不为人知的语言正由于讲的人越来越少而几近消亡。说这些语言的许多国家的政府应该行动起来，以防止这些语言的消亡。

提纲：（一）说明现状，表明观点
        （二）政府采取行动的目的三点
        （三）政府该采取什么措施

bestcampUID: 2640940

我的第一篇ISSUE，大家千万不要手下留情!改的体无完肤也好，我都谢谢了先！（用时2.5h  大大的超时啊！！！）
正文：
      According to a suvey by linguists,more and more lauguages that do not have a lot of people speak turn to extinct the same time the countries using these lauguages just turn to some strong languanges for instead. I firmly suggest that these countries should do something to protect these extincting ones.
      Firstly,Let’s just think what backs languages. Many people say it will be a great convenience for us to communicate. It is supported not only by citizens,but also officials. But I just want to ask any people whose lanuages dominate many fields in the world, will you give up your lanuange to another lanuange? I suppose nobody will accept. For example, you ask an American to speak Russian not English? It is obviously not. The reason is simple because the USA is tough,and Americans are proud of it. So they have never thought changing their languange,not to say a country which is against it. So Comprehensive national strength is the most important factor. As we can see form the histroy, it is also the reason why English is so powerful. But we can not give up the lauguage just because the country is weak. In some sense, lauguage is the symbol of a country.
      Secondly,we see what language stands for except power. It is easily to think it is culture. Why so many people just research history? Except telling us some experinces we should notice,I think the most important remaining is culture. Culture is just the core of a nation.It is what really accouts in distingishing countries from countries. We devide the whole world into more than 200 countries because they are all different. We can not say that small countries do not have efferts to the development of the world. Actually it is just the opposite,which means it is these countries that provide the labor sources and markets for globle trade and then push the globe economy ahead.
      Thirdly,we just think about why people used to the home language?An English child born in China can speak fluent Chinese not considering he is an English originally.As I see,I think it is becase language is tightly connected with the way of doing things.Once you have accustomed to a kind of thinking,you will feel it is not so comfortable to use another language.So language still stands for the habit.We have to respect these no matter how seldom we use them.
      In all,we have come to the conclusion that we do not have the right to say goodbye to any kind of language.On the other hand,we should protect them from extinct.Hope governments can take some actions such as drawing up some regulations,making some Public informations to let the people have some respect of the less-known languages and use them as before.

robertxjUID: 2645881

According to a survey by linguists,more and more lauguages that do not have a lot of people speak turn to extinct the same time the countries using these lauguages just turn to some strong languanges for instead. 这句话太长了，而且是典型的chineseenglishI firmly suggest that these countries should do something to protect these extincting ones.
      Firstly,Let’s just think what backs languages. Many people say it will be a great convenience for us to communicate. It is supported not only by citizens,but also officials. But I just want to ask any？some people whose lanuages dominate many fields in the world, will you change your lanuange to another lanuange? I suppose nobody will accept. For example, you ask an American to speak Russian not English? It is obviously not. The reason is simple because the USA is tough,and Americans are proud of it. So they have never thought changing their languange,not to say a country which is against it. So Comprehensive national strength is the most important factor. As we can see from the histroy, it is also the reason why English is so powerful.这句话语法有问题，why和reason不能一起用吧 But we can not give up the lauguage just because the country is weak. In some sense, lauguage is the symbol of a country.感觉这段的观点不是很清晰。
      Secondly,we see what language stands for except power. It is easily to think it is culture. Why so many people just research history? Except telling us some experinces we should notice,I think the most important remaining is culture. Culture is just the core of a nation.It is what really accouts in distingishing countries from countries. We devide the whole world into more than 200 countries because they are all different. We can not say that small countries do not have effects to the development of the world. Actually it is just the opposite,which means it删掉 is these countries that provide the labor sources and markets for globle trade and then push the globe economy ahead.
      Thirdly,we just think about why people used to ？used to 不太对吧the home language?An English child born in China can speak fluent Chinese not considering he is an English originally.As I see,I think it is becase language is tightly connected with the way of doing things.Once you have accustomed to a kind of thinking,you will feel it is not so comfortable to use another language.So language still stands for the habit.We have to respect these no matter how seldom we use them.
      In all,we have come to the conclusion that we do not have the right to say goodbye to any kind of language.On the other hand,we should protect them from extinct.Hope governments can take some actions such as drawing up some regulations,making some Public informations to let the people have some respect of the less-known languages and use them as before.
感觉全篇你并没有围绕你的观点去立论，你的观点应该是去论证各种语言的重要性，可我觉得看完你的文章没感受到重要，每节倒是都有分论点，还算能支持总论点，可在论述时就跑远了。呵呵。。。说的不对的地方不要介意哈，我也是菜鸟，有机会建议你再去找高手看看吧。

112810asUID: 2646494

According to a(是不是应该用the？) suvey by linguists,more and more lauguages that do not have a lot of people speak turn to extinct（extinction） ， the same time the countries using these lauguages just turn to some strong languanges for instead. I firmly suggest that these countries should do something to protect these extincting ones.
      Firstly,Let’s just think what backs languages. Many people say it will be a great convenience for us to communicate. It is supported not only by citizens,but also officials. But I just want to ask any people whose lanuages dominate many fields in the world, will you give up your lanuange to another lanuange? I suppose nobody will accept(你好像问的是问题，怎么要接受呢？). For example, you ask an American to speak Russian not English? It is obviously not. （为什么不可能，美国人不能再学门俄语呀，你得语句用的不对，不是美国人也说俄语，而是美国人放弃英语作为第一语言，我感觉你是根据中文翻译成英文的，所以存在翻译错误）The reason is simple because the USA is tough,and Americans are proud of it. So they have never thought changing their languange,not to say a country which is against it. So Comprehensive national strength is the most important factor. As we can see form（from？） the histroy, it is also the reason why English is so powerful. But we can not give up the lauguage just because the country is weak. In some sense, lauguage is the symbol of a country（region or cultue？country太绝对了吧）.（你不应该举例为什么英语很多人说，而应该论证为什么很少人说lesser-know language）  
    Secondly,we see what language stands for except power. It is easily to think it is culture. Why so many people just research history? Except telling us some experinces we should notice,I think the most important remaining is culture. Culture is just the core of a nation.It is what really accouts in distingishing countries from countries. We devide the whole world into more than 200 countries because they are all different. We can not say that small countries do not have efferts to the development of the world. Actually it is just the opposite,which means it is these countries that provide the labor sources and markets for globle trade and then push the globe economy ahead.（你是再说文化很重要，可是没说语言对文化很重要呀）
      Thirdly,we just think about why people used to the home language（语法错误，没看懂）?An English child born in China can speak fluent Chinese not considering he is an English originally.As I see,I think it is becase language is tightly connected with the way of doing things.Once you have accustomed to a kind of thinking,you will feel it is not so comfortable to use another language.So language still stands for the habit.We have to respect these no matter how seldom we use them.（因为一个英国在出生在中国他能流利说中文等等来证明你得so language still stands for the habit，太没道理了吧？）
      In all,we have come to the conclusion that we do not have the right to say goodbye to any kind of language.On the other hand,we should protect them from extinct.Hope governments can take some actions such as drawing up some regulations,making some Public informations to let the people have some respect of the less-known languages and use them as before.

你得逻辑十分不清晰，而且论证错误，明显错误，有跑题嫌疑，没有抓住文中的关键字lesser-known language，而是在说language。你得论证没有科学性，没有充分的理由

帮我改改~我，吴虑~