0910AW SPECTACULAR之【同主题写作】第五期ARGUMENT65 by chill_ly

chill_lyUID: 2640200

TOPIC: ARGUMENT65 - The following appeared in a memo from the president of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States.

"For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses."
WORDS: 467
TIME: 1.5h
DATE: 2009/6/18 22:38:35

By stating the fact that people prefer domestic cheeses and reducing stock can improve profits, the arguer drew the conclusion that all their stores should discontinue stocking their varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses. The conclusion seems reasonable at first glance. However, if we analyze the process carefully, we will find it questionable.

To begin with, the fact that the five best-selling cheeses at their newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin is doubtful. The result is from their newest store, how about other stores? Maybe in other stores, the imported cheese is more welcome. And the result may be based on the fact that people in this area are those who are fond of domestic cheddar cheeses and they regard such cheeses as their first choice. In addition, the top five cannot represent that all kinds of domestic cheeses are selling well; prehaps only these domestic cheeses mentioned are best-selling and the other varieties selling well are all imported ones. What's more, the arguer does not give any information of the total selling number between domestic and imported ones which may lead to a completely different conclusion if the imported cheeses are selling better.

Meanwhile, the survey the arguer provided is not cogent to corroborate the conclusion. First, the main subscribers of Cheeses of World may be those domestic cheeses lovers and their choice just reflect their preference, so the survey may be not objective. Second, how many readers participate in the survey is not mentioned. The minority’s opinion cannot represent the majority, so if the survey only consults a few people, it cannot be valid.
Finally, we cannot equal people’s preference to what they choose to buy. Though the survey shows that many people prefer domestic cheeses, they may not buy them considering the price, quality, taste and so on. In a word, the survey cannot be definitive to the conclusion.

Last but not the least, the suggestion of reducing the stock of imported cheeses may not eventually improve profits. The market might still have a significant need of imported cheeses and reducing the stock of them may lead to losing a lot of customers. It is also likely that though the quantity of the imported cheeses sold is smaller than the domestic ones, the total profit is higher, since the profit of one unit of imported cheese is greater. Perhaps the profit from imported ones makes up a big part of the total profit. So it would be unwise to discontinue stocking imported cheeses.

In summary, the arguer’s analysis is far from convincing. Before the conclusion, he or she should provide the information of sales from all their cheese stores and the appropriation of profit. An objective survey from the public will also help to substantiating the conclusion.

houpei0126UID: 2643060

By stating the fact that people prefer domestic cheeses and reducing stock can improve profits, the arguer drew the conclusion that all their stores should discontinue stocking their varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses. The conclusion seems reasonable at first glance. However, if we analyze the process carefully, we will find it questionable.

To begin with, the fact that the five best-selling cheeses at their newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin is doubtful. The result is from their newest store, how about other stores? Maybe in other stores, the imported cheese is more welcome. And the result may be based on the fact that people in this area are those who are fond of domestic cheddar cheeses and they regard such cheeses as their first choice. In addition, the top five cannot represent that all kinds of domestic cheeses are selling well; perhaps only these domestic cheeses mentioned are best-selling and the other varieties selling well are all imported ones. What's more, the arguer does not give any information of the total selling number between domestic and imported ones which may lead to a completely different conclusion if the imported cheeses are selling better.

Meanwhile, the survey the arguer provided is not cogent to corroborate the conclusion. First, the main subscribers of Cheeses of World may be those domestic cheeses lovers and their choice just reflect their preference, so the survey may be not objective. Second, how many readers participate in the survey is not mentioned. The minority’s opinion cannot represent the majority, so if the survey only consults a few people, it cannot be valid.
Finally, we cannot equal people’s preference to what they choose to buy. Though the survey shows that many people prefer domestic cheeses, they may not buy them considering the price, quality, taste and so on. In a word, the survey cannot be definitive to the conclusion.(是说人们的喜好和选择购买的不是等价的？觉得不是很理解这种逻辑结构，因为要考虑到价格，质量等因素~~~???)Last but not the least, the suggestion of reducing the stock of imported cheeses may not eventually improve profits. The market might still have a significant need of imported cheeses and reducing the stock of them may lead to losing a lot of customers. It is also likely that though the quantity of the imported cheeses sold is smaller than the domestic ones, the total profit is higher, since the profit of one unit of imported cheese is greater. Perhaps the profit from imported ones makes up a big part of the total profit. So it would be unwise to discontinue stocking imported cheeses.(这点不错，值得借鉴)
In summary, the arguer’s analysis is far from convincing. Before the conclusion, he or she should provide the information of sales from all their cheese stores and the appropriation of profit. An objective survey from the public will also help to substantiating the conclusion
这篇感觉比以前已经进步多了，从逻辑关系的递进，语言的熟练运用上等，很不错~~~