0910AW 同主题写作第八期 issue221 by brisk1111

brisk1111UID: 2571604

ISSUE221
"The chief benefit of the study of history is to break down the illusion that people in one period of time are significantly different from people who lived at any other time in history."

1.给出观点学习历史让我们知道，不同历史时期的人有很多相同之处，但同时也存在很多不同之处。
2.我们与古人的相同点
3.我们与古人的不同点，很多事情他们只能想，而我们可以做
4.通过学习历史我们可以从古人身上学到很多东西
5.总结

Compared with ancient people we have plenty of progress such as economy, the quality of life, technology, education level and so forth as well as some setbacks like worse ecology systems, more selfish people and so on, but at the same time we still suffer the same problems of war, violence, starvation, more else. So I conclude that study history does break down the illusion, but not limited to such extent, people also own many differences between different periods.

As we all known, no amount how developed the society is it can not completely solves the enduring problems of war, violence, starvation and so on and even the reasons which cause these problems retain the same . The war is still attributes to dispute sources, the violence is still because of greed and unequal chance is still the source of starvation. Also some other spiritual needs like winning recognition and approval and avoiding scorn and disapproval all of which did not change with the time going on. We even have a lot of same moral standards about what is right and what is wrong. So studying history make us know that we retain many characters the same with our ancient people.

Although we have lots of characters parallel to our ancient people, we also have unbelievable changes compare to them. We can do a mount of things that ancient people merely imagine of them. A Chinese myth says that Chang'E a beauty woman lives on the moon with a rabbit which merely express a dream of go out of space. But now it comes true, we not only can go to the moon but also can go farther. We can talk with people thousand miles away by internet, can transplant organ, can make people live longer all of which ancient people just imagine and express it though myth. We may look like the same but we have a more different life. The ancient people give us an orientation to look for through myth which is another role why we study history.
  
Of course, study history has some other roles, too. We study historical events can prevent us making the same mistake. For instance, Huang River the birthplace of ancient china used to be a fertile place but later the ancient people leave there because of frequent flood which is cause by the destroying of ecology. That tells us how important of the ecology balance and we should protect the environment. What is more, learning about the courage and tenacity of history's great explorers, leaders, and other achievers inspires us to similar accomplishments, or at least to face own fears as we travel through life.

In sum, study history let us know we still retain some aspects similar to our ancient especially some suffering problems. But at the same time we have changed a lot, we help the ancient to achieve their goals. We also can benefit a lot though study history like avoiding repeating their mistakes, learning their courage and enrich our own cultures.

飘飘zlyUID: 2200552

Compared with ancient people we have plenty of progress such as economy, the quality of life, technology, education level and so forth as well as some setbacks like worse ecology systems, more selfish people and so on, but at the same time we still suffer the same problems of war, violence, starvation, more else.(这里写的有点罗嗦，更像是论证。) So I conclude （agree更合适吧）that study history does break down the illusion, but not limited to such extent, people also own many differences between different periods.
（引题的部分不简明，长句子用的有点累赘。）

As we all known, (少主题句)no amount how developed the society is it can not completely solves the enduring problems of war, violence, starvation and so on and even the reasons which cause these problems retain the same . The war （,for instance,）is still attributes to dispute sources, the violence is still because of(result from) greed and unequal chance is still(... 少谓语) the source of starvation. Also （in addtion）some other spiritual needs like winning recognition（？） and approval and avoiding scorn and disapproval（，） all of which did not change（have remained） with the time going on. We even have a lot of same moral standards about what is right and what is wrong. So studying history make us know that we retain many characters the same with our ancient people.（这是中心句的话最好放在首句。）
注意连接词的使用。在适当的时候用逻辑连接词。
注意中心句的问题。

Although we have lots of characters parallel to （赞）our ancient people, we also have unbelievable changes compare to them. We can do a mount of things that ancient people merely imagine of them. A Chinese myth says that Chang'E a beauty woman lives on the moon with a rabbit which merely express a dream of go out of space. But now it comes true, we not only can go to the moon but also can go farther. We can talk with people thousand miles away by internet, can transplant organ, can make people live longer（这里可以说的更深入，器官移植可以治疗绝症......这几个例子要说明不同时期人们的不同，后两个例子没有说服力） all of which ancient people just imagine and express it though myth. We may look like the same but we have a more different life. The ancient people give us an orientation to look for through myth which is another role why we study history.（病句吧）
  
Of course, study history has some other roles, too. We study historical events can prevent us making the same mistake. For instance, Huang River （？）the birthplace of ancient china used to be a fertile place but later the ancient people leave there because of frequent flood which is cause by the destroying of ecology. That tells us how important of the ecology balance and we should protect the environment. What is more, （觉得这里前后论证不连贯）learning about the courage and tenacity of history's great explorers, leaders, and other achievers inspires us to similar accomplishments, or at least to face own fears as we travel through life.


In sum, study history let us know we still retain some aspects similar to our ancient especially some suffering problems. But at the same time we have changed a lot, we help the ancient to achieve their goals. We also can benefit a lot though study history like avoiding repeating their mistakes, learning their courage and enrich our own cultures.

语言不够简洁，论证不够充分。
PS：历史类的题目我觉得对于我们可能是有些难，缺少论证的事例支持观点。
加油~~

飘飘zlyUID: 2200552

你现在写作文限时吗，最好先让自己的文章逻辑关系更合理，慢慢提高速度吧。我现在也觉得自己超时问题严重。

brisk1111UID: 2571604

没发限，现在对于I是能写出了就很high了