【辉太郎杀G大队】7/11作业Applemango

ApplemangoUID: 2661244

25 The following appeared in a memo from the mayor of the town of Hopewell.

"Two years ago, the town of Ocean View built a new municipal golf course and resort hotel. During the past two years, tourism in Ocean View has increased, new businesses have opened there, and Ocean View's tax revenues have risen by 30 percent. The best way to improve Hopewell's economy, and generate additional tax revenues, is to build a golf course and resort hotel similar to those in Ocean View."
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1.

In this memo, the mayor claims that Hopewell should build a golf course and resort hotel as it is a profitable venture. To substantiate his suggestion, the mayor points out that the town of Ocean View (OV) is benefited from such investment 2 years ago. He also cites the evidence that, after building of the golf course and resort hotel, OV’s tax revenues has risen with flourishing tourism and business. However, this argument contains several logical flaws, which render it unconvincing.

To begin with, it is unreasonable for the mayor to draw the conclusion that the OV is merited from the golf and resort project. The mayor provides no evidence that the project is the direct reason to promote tourism and business. And there’s no relation between the project and the rising of the tax. Lacking such evidence it is entirely possible that, it is the newly opened beautiful sceneries stimulate the tourism, and new coming residents who request for more shops or restaurants. And the rising of tax might be a result of the increasing GDP of OV.

Next, if the effects of the project were as positive as the mayor claims, the argument still fail to convince us that building a golf course and resort hotel can bring profit to the town of Hopewell. We are in the absence of the demographic information of the consumers who visit the hotel in the past 2 years. Perhaps they are the local residents who are addict to golf and relaxation, or they are living the neighboring towns of OV.
Those consumers may possibly unwilling to drive 2-3 hours to Hopewell to play golf. Moreover, if the local residents of Hopewell are not so interested in outdoor sports like golf, we cannot anticipate the success of the project in Hopewell.

Even assuming that there will be many golf fans visiting Hopewell and spending money, the mayor provides no clear evidence that the cost of building such project is much lower than the profit. It is highly possible that the extremely high labor cost and real estate price will increase the project cost, and these consumers or the money they are willing to spend might be insufficient in number to ensure a profit for Hopewell.

In sum, the mayor cannot justify his suggestion of building a golf course and resort hotel on the basis of the scant evidence provided in the memo. To bolster the suggestion the mayor must provide better evidence that: (1) how much influence the project has to stimulate OV’s economy; (2) the detailed information of the consumers visiting OV; (3) the estimate of the project if built in Hopewell; (4) the potential profit form the project within 5 years.

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11 "All nations should help support the development of a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world's most persistent social problems."
所有的国家应共同建立一所全球性大学，用来培养学生们解决世界的最顽固的社会问题。

The speaker suggests that world nations should cooperate to build a global university, where students from all over the world and work on the pressing social problems. In my point of view, building such global university is meaningless, and the impact of the global university is amplified. The speaker also overlooks circumstances under which the opportunity cost might be incredibly high, as well as ignoring other effective ways of solving such social problems.

To begin with, consider the merit such cooperation might bring us, the recommendation of building a global university is generally good advice. It is ideal that wisdom and intense work of gathered professors and students of different nations will effectively generate insightful solutions to those important present social problems. Most of the famous universities have joint programs with others to work on specific social problems, such like the long-term partnership working on China health care between Peking University and Harvard University. However, take some
into consideration, to build a global university might be meaningless.

However, different countries might confront different social problems. Firstly, it will possibly rise dispute to define the most persistent social problems which should be given priority to solve. Developing countries such like Kenya or North Korea may request more attention on the problem of food and clothing, while developed countries like Japan and Singapore may interested in better solutions for their continuing unemployment. Second,

In the second place, it is costly and complicated to run a global university. Question comes, who will provide financially support it? Based on the mutual objective to solve the pressing social problems, all the countries should devote certain amount of money to support the global university.
But it is unfair for those countries threaten by poverty and famine to allocate such big sum of money to research. If the research is dominated by the biggest sponsors, the research solutions will be influenced by the sponsors’ interests.

Finally, a global university is not the best and the only way to address the persistent social problems. It will cost sever years to train students till they improve eligible to deal with such important social problems. Weighting with the urgency of solving such problems, the time cost is considerably high. Those pressing problems should be solved before this global university comes into operation. At the meantime, there are numerous international giving undivided attention to solve the persistent social problems around the world. Organizations like the UNICEF as a driving force to protect the rights of every child, the IUCN which helps the world find pragmatic solutions to most pressing environment and development challenges, are always acting with far-reaching influence in handling those social problems worldwide.



In sum, the speaker overvalued the effect of building a global university. The solution is ideal but when it turns to be meaningless when comes to the research objectives and the development cost. Moreover, we shouldn’t ignore other organizations which are now working effectively on the frontier of solving pressing social problems.

sindyttUID: 2661721

In this memo, the mayor claims that Hopewell should build a golf course and resort hotel as it is a profitable venture. To substantiate his suggestion, the mayor points out that the town of Ocean View (OV) is benefited from such investment 2 years ago.( OV两年前从这个获益，应该用过去时。还有 A benefit from B 不需要被动) He also cites the evidence that, after building of the golf course and resort hotel, OV’s tax revenues has risen with flourishing tourism and business. However, this argument contains several logical flaws, which render it unconvincing.(好句子)

To begin with, it is unreasonable for the mayor to draw the conclusion that the OV is merited from the golf and resort project. The mayor provides no evidence that the project is the direct reason to promote tourism and business. And there’s no relation between the project and the rising (个人认为应该用rise)of the tax. Lacking such evidence (加个逗号)it is entirely possible that, it is the newly opened beautiful sceneries (that) stimulate the tourism, and new coming residents who request for more shops or restaurants (to inspire new businesses). And the rising of tax might be a result of the increasing GDP of OV.

Next, if the effects of the project were(用 is 比较好吧) as positive as the mayor claims, the argument still fail to convince us that building a golf course and resort hotel can bring profit to the town of Hopewell. We are in the absence of the demographic information of the consumers who visit(have visited) the hotel in the past 2 years. Perhaps they are the local residents who are addict(addicted) to golf and relaxation, or they are living (in) the neighboring towns of OV. (the towns neighboring OV)
Those consumers may possibly (be) unwilling to drive 2-3 hours to Hopewell to play golf. Moreover, if the local residents of Hopewell are not so interested in outdoor sports like golf, we cannot anticipate the success of the project in Hopewell. (anticipate这里用得很赞~)

Even assuming that there will be many golf fans visiting Hopewell and spending money, the mayor provides no clear evidence that the cost of building such project is much lower than the profit. It is highly possible that the extremely high labor cost and real estate price will increase the project cost, and these consumers or the money they are willing to spend might be insufficient in number to ensure a profit for Hopewell. （这一段的论证攻击点我觉得不太好，因为OV也同样有建造费用和土地费用的问题，而它成功地盈利了。作者要么说明Hopewell的土地和人力成本特别高，明显高于OV，那么这段的逻辑就比较严密了。也可以从时间问题这个攻击点下手，2年前的盈利能否保障现在乃至将来也盈利。）

In sum, the mayor cannot justify his suggestion of building a golf course and resort hotel on the basis of the scant evidence provided in the memo. To bolster the suggestion the mayor must provide better evidence that: (1) how much influence the project has to stimulate OV’s economy; (2) the detailed information of the consumers visiting OV; (3) the estimate of the project if built in Hopewell; (4) the potential profit form the project within 5 years.

开头和结尾论点清晰，最后提出自己的四点建议，条理明确。稍显不足的是第四段的攻击点。

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11 "All nations should help support the development of a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world's most persistent social problems."
所有的国家应共同建立一所全球性大学，用来培养学生们解决世界的最顽固的社会问题。
The speaker suggests that world nations should cooperate to build a global university, where students from all over the world and (这个and去掉)work on the pressing social problems. In my point of view, building such global university is meaningless, and the impact of the global university is amplified. The speaker also overlooks circumstances under which the opportunity cost might be incredibly high, as well as ignoring other effective ways of solving such social problems.（这个ignore是跟在the speaker后的吧，所以不能用ignoring, 应该是ignores）

To begin with, consider the merit such cooperation might bring us, the recommendation of building a global university is generally good advice. It is ideal that wisdom and intense work of gathered professors and students of different nations will effectively generate insightful solutions to those important present social problems. Most of the famous universities have joint programs with others to work on specific social problems, such like the long-term partnership working on China health care between Peking University and Harvard University. However, take some into consideration, to build a global university might be meaningless.（额。。。这段通篇都是好的，结果最后的结论是meaningless。。。而且作者的总论点是不同意，那么这段在文中就有点不伦不类了）

However, different countries might confront different social problems. Firstly, it will possibly rise dispute(disputes) to define(定义？) the most persistent social problems which should be given priority to solve.（定义什么是最顽固的社会问题？总觉得这句表达有点怪。
换成dispute to which problem to prioritize如何？）
Developing countries such like Kenya or North Korea may request more attention on the problem of food and clothing(lacking necessities), while developed countries like Japan and Singapore may (be more) interested in better solutions for their continuing （high） unemployment. Second, (这个是没删干净吧。。。)

In the second place, it is costly and complicated to run a global university. Question comes, (such as) who will provide financially (financial) support (for) it? Based on the mutual objective to solve the pressing social problems, all the countries should devote certain amount of money to support the global university.
But it is unfair for those countries threaten by poverty and famine to allocate such big sum of money to research. (Furthermore)If the research is dominated by the biggest sponsors, the research solutions will be influenced by the sponsors’ interests.(不是被赞助商的利益影响，而是对赞助商的利益有利 be favorable to the sponsors’ interests 或者说 the solutions will be influenced by the sponsors and thus be favorable to the their interests.)

Finally, a global university is not the best and the only way to address the persistent social problems. (题目并没有强调only) It will cost sever (several?)years to train students till they improve eligible to deal with such important social problems. (作者确定有Sb imoprove adj 这个用法不？我没见过诶。)Weighting with(weighting with这个用法我不了解，也没见过) the urgency of solving such problems, the time cost is considerably high. Those pressing problems should be solved before this global university comes into operation. （这些最顽固的社会问题应该在全球性大学被建成前解决。这个结论是不是有点有失偏颇了？）At the meantime, there are numerous international giving undivided attention （没看懂） to solve the persistent social problems around the world. Organizations like the UNICEF as a driving force to protect the rights of every child, the IUCN which helps the world find pragmatic solutions to most pressing environment and development challenges, are always acting with far-reaching influence in handling those social problems worldwide.


In sum, the speaker overvalued the (positive) effect of building a global university. The solution is ideal but when(这个when放这儿不对吧。) it turns to be meaningless when (it)comes to the research objectives and the development cost. （应该是在research的选择上又分歧，而不是objective）Moreover, we shouldn’t ignore other organizations which are now working effectively on the frontier of solving pressing social problems.(work on就可以了，加了on the frontier就不对了。不是关于)

这篇issue我觉得需要大改了，如果按队长的思路，我觉得又必要去掉第二段。
但是，鉴于字数考虑，也让考官觉得我们考虑问题比较全面，我觉得这个题目用部分肯定的观点比较好。