【辉太郎杀G大队】7/12 作业by hdsf2003

hdsf2003UID: 2351462

07-12------------------------------
Issue 99

Maybe there are times when we complain the God's unfair treatment, especially when we meet some tough troubles. What actually happens is that we have acted according to our realistic image and ignored many practical events. Therefore, if we want to be successful, be practical at first. Being too realistic will let us trap in a corner where we cannot find a way out.

Taking academic research for example, most scientists expect to find an amazing discovery and reveal a secret or mystery. This is just what they suppose. No matter how hard they work, they never make sure that they can do that. We are often told that only can pursuing your goal without giving up be successful. The actual situation is that we don't give up our hope to achieve the goal but the goal is not suitable for us. So does academic research. Though scientists cherish the mere hope to find something new, they may come to the practical side that the scientific research careers are long beyond them and getting a new job is much smarter.

For political leaders, they always acclaim that they will lead the country to a better track and improve the life condition of the public. Maybe some of them truly endeavor to benefit the public, but we common people never fail to notice the fact that the broken roads have been here for several years and many people have been hurt because of holes in the damaged road. It seems hard for the political leaders to repair the roads by themselves, but what have the clerks done with the money of tax payers? There are many other negative examples, such as increasing city violence, the polluted water, the heavy loss of labor works.

For social artists, we do not critic their idealistic passion too much for we take it for granted that art is a little far from real life. Here, what I want to stress is only will artistic works that can be understandable for the public earn a permanent life. Since a work is created, if nobody can show it in front common people, then why does the artist do it? A work only for artist himself is a real work. This is just the practical side of art.

To sum up, practical matters are usually touchable or can be felt or substantiated which are the demands of the society. Some vain words or virtual art works will be ignored even forgotten for their so called idealism.

A 237

The arguer presents an assumption that economy will be improved and unemployment will be diminished when private companies relocate in Beauville by providing them tax incentives and financial inducements. If you manage a big group, will you consider moving your main business to Beauville? You' better make the final decision after careful scrutiny. It is easy to get the wrong way for there are several unwarranted points in this assumption.

First of all, there is no evidence that the economy has been stimulated in Dillton. From the information addressed in the newspaper, we cannot find any sign of an increasing economy. Only two manufacturing companies move to Dillton doesn't mean they help to boost the local business. More importantly, within 18 months, only two companies move to Dillton may suggest that more companies do not have a high expectation to Dillton economy. Otherwise, no data concerning economy is mentioned.

In addition, the argue fails to show the cost of reducing unemployment. Though 300 people find job again, the whole amount of their salaries perhaps cannot meet reduced taxes. It is reasonable for us to possess the suspicion that the all tax revenues reduce by 15% and even more. The two new companies may not be on the right track in time, and they haven't got return. So the entire tax incomes will plunge by nearly 15%. If all companies meet a crisis, like our present situation-worldwide financial crisis, the incomes will be much less.

Finally, the arguer ignores a practical problem that the situation between Dillton and Beauville may be quite different. Even if Dillton benefits heavy from its tax incentives policy, no one can ensure there is same trend in Beauville. For the arguer tells nothing about these two cities' difference. Perhaps, the cost for companies to relocate is extremely high. There is also a possibility that companies cannot get enough raw materials to meet their demand of normal produce. And, people may not be willing to work for these companies for their potential toxic environment.

To sum up, only presenting such scanty information cannot convince us to carry out the policy of the tax incentives and financial inducement. To bolster his statement, the arguer has to do further work as following: 1) getting the detailed economic data of Dillton; 2) making a cost calculation about the increasing employment and reducing taxes; 3) making a comparison between these two cities.

sindyttUID: 2661721

1# hdsf2003
Issue99
Maybe there are times when we complain the God's unfair treatment, especially when we meet some tough trouble. What actually happens is that we have acted according to our realistic image and ignored many practical events. Therefore, if we want to be successful, be practical at first. Being too realistic will let us trap in a corner where we cannot find a way out.

Taking academic research for example, most scientists expect to find an amazing discovery and reveal a secret or mystery. This is just what they suppose. No matter how hard they work, they never make sure that they can do that. We are often told that only can pursuing your goal without giving up be successful.(倒装句很好) The actual situation is that we don't give up our hope to achieve the goal but the goal is not suitable for us. So does academic research. Though scientists cherish the mere hope to find something new, they may come to the practical side that the scientific research careers are long beyond them and getting a new job is much smarter.（一棍子怕科学家都拍死了，历史著名的都是成功的例子哈。）

For political leaders, they always acclaim that they will lead the country to a better track and improve the life condition of the public. Maybe some of them truly endeavor to benefit the public, but we common people never fail to notice the fact that the broken roads have been here for several years and many people have been hurt because of holes in the damaged road. It seems hard for the political leaders to repair the roads by themselves, but what have the clerks done with the money of tax payers? There are many other negative examples, such as increasing city violence, the polluted water, the heavy loss of labor works.（这段我有点摸不着头脑。。行事，理想主义态度好还是实用主义好。。这里变成是理想和现实的对比了。）

For social artists, we do not critic（criticize） their idealistic passion too much for we take it for granted that art is a little far from real life. Here, what I want to stress is only will artistic works that can be understandable for the public earn a permanent life. Since a work is created, if nobody can show it in front common people, then why does the artist do it? A work only for artist himself is a real work. This is just the practical side of art.

To sum up, practical matters are usually touchable or can be felt or substantiated which are the demands of the society. Some vain words or virtual art works will be ignored even forgotten for their so called idealism.
评语：GREISSUE作文一般采用平衡观点较好，尤其是这个题目尤其体现平衡观点的优势。
本文有字数不够的问题，采用平衡观点等于多出一半内容可以写。建议在gter上搜搜别人人的论点精心布置下再动笔。

A 237

The arguer presents an assumption that economy will be improved and unemployment will be diminished when private companies relocate in Beauville by providing them tax incentives and financial inducements. （第一句总结的漂亮）If you manage a big group, will you consider moving your main business to Beauville?（有新意） You' better make the final decision after careful scrutiny. It is easy to get the wrong way for there are several unwarranted points in this assumption.

First of all, there is no evidence that the economy has been stimulated in Dillton.（最好结合不合理的论据和假设，过于笼统了攻击点就不清晰了） From the information addressed in the newspaper, we cannot find any sign of an increasing economy. Only two manufacturing companies move to Dillton doesn't mean they help to boost the local business. More importantly, within 18 months, only two companies move to Dillton may suggest that more companies do not have a high expectation to Dillton economy. Otherwise, no data concerning economy is mentioned.

In addition, the argue fails to show the cost of reducing unemployment. Though 300 people find job again, the whole amount of their salaries perhaps cannot meet reduced taxes. It is reasonable for us to possess the suspicion that the all tax revenues reduce by 15% and even more. The two new companies may not be on the right track in time, and they haven't got return. So the entire tax incomes will plunge by nearly 15%. If all companies meet a crisis, like our present situation-worldwide financial crisis, the incomes will be much less.（这段作者指出得不偿失，但需要明确指出得不偿失导致了措施无效，措施无效才能削弱论证。）

Finally, the arguer ignores a practical problem that the situation between Dillton and Beauville may be quite different. Even if Dillton benefits heavy from its tax incentives policy, no one can ensure there is same trend in Beauville. For the arguer tells nothing about these two cities' difference. Perhaps, the cost for companies to relocate is extremely high. There is also a possibility that companies cannot get enough raw materials to meet their demand of normal produce. And, people may not be willing to work for these companies for their potential toxic environment.

To sum up, only presenting such scanty information cannot convince us to carry out the policy of the tax incentives and financial inducement. To bolster his statement, the arguer has to do further work as following: 1) getting the detailed economic data of Dillton; 2) making a cost calculation about the increasing employment and reducing taxes; 3) making a comparison between these two cities.（结尾结构很清楚哦）
评语：Argument写的比Issue好，开头很不错，总体感觉是每段的论点句应该加强一点，这是文章的核心。