Argument242[快刀杀鸡]7/16 作业 by ajohnares

ajohnaresUID: 2661147

题目：ARGUMENT242 - The following appeared as an editorial in the student newspaper of Groveton College.

"To combat the recently reported dramatic rise in cheating among college and university students, these institutions should adopt honor codes similar to Groveton's, which calls for students to agree not to cheat in their academic endeavors and to notify a faculty member if they suspect that others have cheated. Groveton's honor code replaced an old-fashioned system in which students were closely monitored by teachers and an average of thirty cases of cheating per year was reported. The honor code has proven far more successful: in the first year it was in place, students reported twenty-one cases of cheating; five years later, this figure had dropped to fourteen. Moreover, in a recent survey conducted by the Groveton honor council, a majority of students said that they would be less likely to cheat with an honor code in place than without."

提纲：
1 调查存在的问题。样本是否足够大，是否有代表性，回答者是否真实回答，回答者的回答是否保证他们今后的行为，这些都值得怀疑。
2 同时性错误。作弊人数的下降很可能是由其他因素影响的。
3 作者试图把此方法推广到外校，这要考虑其他学校自身状况。

The arguer recommends that colleges and universities should adopt honor codes applied in Groveton College, which appeals students to agree not to cheat and to notify a faculty member if they suspect that others have cheated. To substantiate his argument, the arguer points out a significant decrease in the number of students who cheated in their academic endeavors. In addition, the arguer also provides a recent survey which indicates that a majority of students would be less likely to cheat with an honor code in place than without. This argument is unconvincing as it stands for several respects.

First, the arguer fails to provide elaborate details about the recent survey, focused on the degree of honesty among students in Groveton College. On the one hand, we are not only innocent of whether the sample of this survey was large enough, but also of if the selected sample was representative of the whole students in Groveton College. It is entirely possible that the students who participated in the survey were a majority of virtuous students who seldom cheated in school, regardless of the execution of honor codes. On the other hand, I am not convinced without knowing the particular process of the survey. Was this survey been made in an anonymous way? Were interviewees under pressure if they offered the negative answer? Besides, common sense informs me that people are more likely to admit that they would not make similar mistakes, which is not necessarily guaranteed. This probability to a large extent undermines the meaning of the survey result, making the recommendation unconvincing.

Second, the arguer commits a fallacy of concurrence. There is no reasonable evidence proving that the decrease in the number of cheats did result from the honor codes. Perhaps other factors lead to this turning. For example, maybe the students enrolled in the college five years later were generally more honest and upright than before. Maybe the old-fashioned system in which students were monitored by teachers was still efficient and effective, leading to this promising advance. In conclusion, without sufficient relevant evidence, we can hardly deduce that the honor codes had something to do with the decrease of cheats.

Even if we concede that the honor code indeed make impacts on the decrease in the number of cheats, it is still questionable whether this adoption works for other colleges and universities. After all, the circumstances vary among different regions and institutions. In some colleges where cheating is a more serious issue, I cannot promise that adopting honor codes can simply mitigate the problem. For instance, if the studying environment in one university is extremely spoiled, where students would not notify any students who have cheated, the honor codes apparently will not work at any rate.

In conclusion, to strengthen the argument, the arguer needs to provide relevant details of the survey, and rule out other possible reasons for the decrease of cheats. Moreover, the arguer must investigate the circumstances in other institutions to prove his argument.

daisyhhhUID: 2477386

The arguer recommends that colleges and universities should adopt honor codes applied in Groveton College, which appeals students to agree not to cheat and to notify a faculty member if they suspect that others have cheated. To substantiate his argument, the arguer points out a significant decrease in the number of students who cheated in their academic endeavors. In addition, the arguer also provides a recent survey which indicates that a majority of students would be less likely to cheat with an honor code in place than without. This argument is unconvincing as it stands for several respects.
First, the arguer fails to provide elaborate details about the recent survey, focused(focusing) on the degree of honesty among students in Groveton College. On the(不要the) one hand, we are not only innocent of whether the sample(sample size) of this survey was large enough, but also of if the selected sample was representative of the whole students in Groveton College(可用whole group). It is entirely possible that the students who participated in the survey were a majority of virtuous students who seldom cheated in school, (and) regardless of the execution of honor codes. On the other hand, I am not convinced without knowing(可用receiving information,个人觉得用know不太好) the particular process of the survey. Was this survey been(删去been) made in an anonymous way(procedure)? Were interviewees under pressure if they offered the negative answer? Besides, common sense informs me that people are more likely to admit that they would not make similar mistakes, which is not necessarily guaranteed(此句话表意不明，读者不知道你想说什么，没有表达出提纲里提及的意思). This probability， to a large extent， undermines the meaning of the survey result, and making(makes) the recommendation unconvincing.

Second, the arguer commits a fallacy of concurrence. There is no reasonable evidence proving that the decrease in the number of cheats did result from the honor codes. Perhaps other factors lead to this turning. For example, maybe the students enrolled in the college five years later were generally more honest and upright than before. Maybe the old-fashioned system in which students were monitored by teachers was still efficient and effective, leading to this promising advance.(这两句用maybe开头有点chinglish,建议换词换表达) In conclusion, without sufficient (and) relevant evidence, we can hardly deduce that the honor codes had something to do with the decrease of cheats.（这句话建议倒装）
Even if we concede that the honor code indeed make impacts on the decrease in the number of cheats, it is still questionable that whether this adoption works for other colleges and universities. After all, the circumstances vary among different regions
and institutions. In some colleges where cheating is a more serious issue,
I cannot promise that adopting honor codes can simply mitigate the problem. For instance, if the studying environment in one university is extremely（建议换词） spoiled, where students would not notify( faculty members of) any students who have cheated, apparently, the honor codes apparently(删去放在句前或句尾) will not work at any rate.
In conclusion, to strengthen the argument, the arguer needs to provide relevant details of the survey, and rule out other possible reasons for the decrease of cheats. Moreover, the arguer must investigate the circumstances in other institutions to prove his argument.

整体来说我觉得很好~辩论的点很清晰，也较有力度，但是排比句的力度不够，建议排比可以三个，而且排比的句式要斟酌清楚。语言表达还需进一步修饰。
另外个人认为第一段罗列作者的conclusion和evidence改写比较好，不要大部分照抄原文
红色的句子是我觉得不地道建议修改的。
改得不好请多指正~