TOEFL暑假集结号作文第三次作业 by 文赋

文赋UID: 2611067

第三次作业：It is better for students at university or in college to choose difficult classes even if they cannot get top grades.（08.1.13）周六22：00交

1. Broaden horizons/ Provide information
2. Builder Character
3. Excessive stress
碰到这种变态题，只能用万能分论点来应试了。

Recently, there is a prevailing trend in university that students are prefer to choose easy courses, such as the Introduction of Biology, rather than complex curriculums, like Advanced Mathematics. The question remains," Should students choose those difficult classes, or select some easy fundamental courses and get high scores?" Kennedy, thirty-fifth president of the United States, commented, "Doing harder thing could make us much better." Therefore, I believe students attend some difficult classes.

By study some difficult classes, students can broaden their horizons. Frankly, we only can gain few common sense from fundamental curriculums, and professor wish us could contiune to study his advanced courses. In other words, the purpose of those easy courses is to invoke our interest about one subject. After all, even we hardly get top grades in difficulty subject, we will find that it have enlarged our horizons and expanded our knowledge. When I was a student in university, my major is civil engineering, and once I have attended an art class, the traditional Chinese poems. Predictably, I only get a grade C in this class, however, I really appreciate that professor for he let me understand the fantastic and brilliant literary.

On the other hand, some students complained that their major curriculums are very complex and confused. If we treat those problems form a character-build perspective, we would learn that life is full of tough question and imperious professor is at least preparing us for the vicissitudes of the real world. As we all know, Marie Curie, knowing for the pioneering study about radioactivity, obtained one-gram of radium from eight-tons of pitchblende in seven-years. Obviously, those actions are much difficult than finishing a seven-week advanced course in campus. Besides enlarging the knowledge, the difficult class enable us to gain an unforgettable experience that nothing is difficult, when we hard work on it.

Admittedly, attending a difficult class also has some negative effects under certain circumstances, for one thing, it will heighten students' anxiety about final examination, creating excessive stress, which impair our physical and mental health. However, if some psychological advices were provided, and helping us to release those negative emotion. It is safe to say, the benefits of having difficult classes is outweigh its negative effects.

To conclude, despite undesirable side effects of attending difficult classes, such as anxiety, frustration and depression, it  is recommended to university and college students to choose some difficult courses, for it enable us to broaden our horizons and knowledge, and to pluck up our courage to conquer any difficulty in our life. And I still believe a quotation, "My only hope lies in my despair."

这篇作文是我写过的最恶心的，但是正如我论证的一样，doing harder thing make one more better. 我准备把这篇文章完全被下来，在被修改过之后。

taoyukun-daidaiUID: 2657922

首段和尾端写得好棒！
中间三段给的例子都很好。
我觉得你中间第一段应该和其他两段一致一些，就是戴云老师的那个例证法“提出论点——列举事例——分析事例——得出结论——重述结论”
还有就是存在几处小的拼写错误。
总之，我觉得你写的比我写的好多了。。。
1# 文赋

MVTUID: 2588209

第三次作业：It is better for students at university or in college to choose difficult classes even if they cannot get top grades.（08.1.13）周六22：00交
1. Broaden horizons/ Provide information
2. Builder Character
3. Excessive stress
碰到这种变态题，只能用万能分论点来应试了。
批改说明：
1. 红色: 不太合适的地方；
2. 蓝色: 值得学习的地方；
3. 淡紫: (my comment).

Recently, there is a prevailing trend in university that students are(\delete) prefer to choose easy courses, such as the Introduction of Biology, rather than complex curriculums, like Advanced Mathematics. The question remains," Should students choose those difficult classes, or select some easy fundamental courses and get high scores?" Kennedy, thirty-fifth president of the United States, commented, "Doing harder thing could make us much better." Therefore, I believe students attend some difficult classes. (首段作者用具体的事例和名人名言引出自己的观点，别出心裁，值得学习)

By study some difficult classes, students can broaden their horizons. Frankly, we only can gain few common sense from fundamental curriculums, and professor wish us could contiune to study his advanced courses. In other words, the purpose of those easy courses is to invoke our interest about one subject. After all, even we hardly get top grades in difficulty subject, we will find that it have enlarged our horizons and expanded our knowledge. When I was a student in university, my major is civil engineering, and once I have attended an art class, the traditional Chinese poems(这例子感觉有点说服性不强，前半段作者强调的是easy courses, the fudmental, are the base for advanced courses continuance, the difficult courses, 但是这儿的例子把non-major course= difficult course似乎改变了前半段的性质，不知道是不是我理解得有问题？). Predictably, I only get a grade C in this class, however, I really appreciate that professor for he let me understand the fantastic and brilliant literary. (本段观点: difficult classes can broaden students' horizons.)

On the other hand, some students complained that their major curriculums are very complex and confused. If we treat those problems form a character-build perspective, we would learn that life is full of tough question and (that) imperious professor is at least preparing us for the vicissitudes of the real world. As we all know, Marie Curie, knowing(known) for the pioneering study about radioactivity, obtained one-gram of radium from eight-tons of pitchblende in seven-years. Obviously, those actions are much difficult than finishing a seven-week advanced course in campus. Besides enlarging the knowledge, the difficult class enable us to gain an unforgettable experience that nothing is difficult, when we hard work on it. (本段观点：difficult class enable students to be brave in face of unpredictable troubles. 但是感觉Curie的例子没有把这个点论述出来Does Curie's achievement on radioactivity result from her difficult classes? What you mentioned is her difficult experiment in her laboratory. There are various professions filled with tough problems. Does these problems connect with difficult class? If yes, what are the joints?)

Admittedly, attending a difficult class also has some negative effects under certain circumstances, for one thing(后文好像没有进一步的意思，不知道这个词能不能这样用？), it will heighten students' anxiety about final examination, creating excessive stress, which impair our physical and mental health. However, if some psychological advices were provided, and helping us to release those negative emotion. It is safe to say, the benefits of having difficult classes is outweigh its negative effects. (本段一个小让步: if the mental and physical state can endure the stress 构思很好。)

To conclude, despite undesirable side effects of attending difficult classes, such as anxiety, frustration and depression, it  is recommended to university and college students to choose some difficult courses, for it enable us to broaden our horizons and knowledge, and to pluck up our courage to conquer any difficulty(表述太大了！) in our life. And I still believe a quotation, "My only hope lies in my despair."(结论：尽管有些压力等，还是赞成选择上难课)
这篇作文是我写过的最恶心的，但是正如我论证的一样，doing harder thing make one more better. 我准备把这篇文章完全被下来，在被修改过之后。
COMMENTS:
1. 作者即便认为是最恶习作，其坚实的基础和文才也毫不逊色，处处彰显了作者的语言功底、词汇功底、作文基础很深厚；
2. 文章思路清晰，开篇、结篇紧扣主题，我学习到了很多；
3. 只是B1和B2分论点部分，我提出了异议，希望作者不要怪罪就是。

DriftKingUID: 2664045

TOEFL暑假集结号作文第三次作业 by 文赋

第三次作业：It is better for students at university or in college to choose difficult classes even if they cannot get top grades.（08.1.13）周六22：00交 M5 F' h# u# } 1. Broaden horizons/ Provide information 2. Builder Character% Q. i, D3 p- i2 Y$ v* R# R 3. Excessive stress 碰到这种变态题，只能用万能分论点来应试了。 K5 Y6 H$ U5 L, z& ~ Recently, there is a prevailing trend in university that students are prefer to choose easy courses, such as the Introduction of Biology, rather than complex curriculums, like Advanced Mathematics. The question remains," Should students choose those difficult classes, or select some easy fundamental courses and get high scores?" Kennedy, thirty-fifth president of the United States, commented, "Doing harder thing could make us much better." Therefore, I believe(感觉加个情态动词比较好) students attend some difficult classes. By study some difficult classes, students can broaden their horizons. Frankly, we only can gain few common sense from fundamental curriculums, and professor wish us could contiune to study his advanced courses. In other words, the purpose of those easy courses is to invoke our interest about one subject. After all, even we hardly get top grades in difficulty subject, we will find that it have enlarged our horizons and expanded our knowledge. When I was a student in university, my major is civil engineering, and once I have attended an art class, the traditional Chinese poems. Predictably, I only get a grade C in this class, however, I really appreciate that professor for he let me understand the fantastic and brilliant literary. （例子不太好） b On the other hand, some students complained that their major curriculums are very complex and confused. If we treat those problems form a character-build perspective, we would learn that life is full of tough question and imperious professor is at least preparing us for the vicissitudes of the real world.个人感觉两句合为一句较好（if we treat the complex and confused classes in a character-build perspective...）这样直接点题 As we all know, Marie Curie, knowing for the pioneering study about radioactivity, obtained one-gram of radium from eight-tons of pitchblende in seven-years. Obviously, those actions are much difficult than finishing a seven-week advanced course in campus. Besides enlarging the knowledge, the difficult class enable us to gain an unforgettable experience that nothing is difficult, when we hard work on it. 略感例子不适 - s" f  h+ H6 T/ d ; ?% F- S$ x$ v$ v9 Q, [ Admittedly, attending a difficult class also has some negative effects under certain circumstances, 该句号了for one thing, it will heighten students' anxiety about final examination, creating excessive stress, which impair our physical and mental health. However, if some psychological advices were provided, and helping us to release those negative emotion. It is safe to say, the benefits of having difficult classes is outweigh its negative effects. To conclude, despite undesirable side effects of attending difficult classes, such as anxiety, frustration and depression, it  is recommended to university and college students to choose some difficult courses, for it enable us to broaden our horizons and knowledge, and to pluck up our courage to conquer any difficulty in our life. And I still believe a quotation, "My only hope lies in my despair." 貌似就是传说中的戴云的模式 楼主的词汇运用相当了得，而且思路、结构也很清晰，很工整 就是例子的选取有些问题，希望可以再斟酌斟酌 总体来说还是美文，值得学习 一家之言，如有不到，还请包涵，加油！

文赋 发表于 2009-7-18 11:22

文赋UID: 2611067

两位还是目光如炬的，一眼就看出来列子不太好。实话说，这两个例子真是我憋出来的。
因为我在构思时，就直接想到肯尼迪的话了，就没想写去选容易的课。然后开始论证时就麻烦了，这个“选课程”的内容，或题目，实在是太狭窄了，ETS就是想恶心死考生。我确实没有储备这种题目的论点，所以才被我称之为恶心的文章。而且，没有例子也罢了，你想捏造一个调查或研究都不行。这就崩溃了。。。。。

要是环保的题目，就像第二次作业，那我例子太多了。因为我就是学环保的，平时看见有关环保的文章，哪怕是沾边的，就兴奋，囧。

DriftKingUID: 2664045

其实出题人出的题目 还是跟美国的社会有关系的 我猜测这个题目就跟校园里的advisor有关 想到这马上就豁然开朗了