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[i习作temp] 【辉太郎杀G大队】7/28作业by Aliciasun [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-7-28 23:00:26 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
本帖最后由 AliciaSun 于 2009-7-28 23:05 编辑

TOPIC: ISSUE120 - "So much is new and complex today that looking back for an understanding of the past provides little guidance for living in the present."

Does looking back for an understanding of the past provide guidance for living in the present? My answer is sure. With the rapid development and advancement in both society and technology, I concede that some particular complex problems of today do not have traceable resolutions in the past, however, from the general sense, history can always provide profound root, trend, and great achievements for the current people with which we can progress from present, and meanwhile, history also teach people to avoid repeating mistakes our ancestors already did.

Admittedly, our contemporary era has numerous particular problems of more complexities than ever before. After the second industrial revolution, the development of society and technology has been expedited many times compared to all the centuries before.Every day when we are enjoying the valuable convenience and enjoyable leisure, we are also suffering from the backside of their shadow.Global warming is becoming worse day by day; Aging society is gradually happening in many countries; Internet crimes as named as hacker attack is drawing people to a new fear for their securities; and even regular people have to worry about that someday the nuclear weapons would destruct their home. Technical as a double-edged sword has severely impacted our daily life and even the human being as a whole. Since these problems emerge as the outcome of the new advancement which didn't happen in the past, we indeed lack the information from history to make them resolved. All in all, life is just like a box of chocolate, no matter the next one is bitter or not, people have to endure the result they created before.

However, apart from the practical resolutions for these time-tagged problems, it is also undeniable that many fundamental achievements have been made in history in different terms and they formed the foundation for the development in present. History, in the first place, provides us knowledge which our ancestors already found and lead us to start from the point with these premises. After all, human knowledge is a cumulative database, and without the endeavor of past generations, such a fortune can never be found by people living in modern times. Just with the heliocentric theory of Copernicus could Kapler propose the mathematical description for the epicyclic motion and established the foundation of modern astronomy. And also only based on Kepler’s work could Newton made valuable contributions to the modern physics with the law of gravity. Equally, the present tremendous success on optical fiber, telecommunication such as TV, cell phones and PC also cannot deny the contribution which Maxwell equations research did in the past. As can be seen, the development of human knowledge is a progress with gradually increasing knowledge and thus the society is development on this basis.

In addition, mistakes of the past can also teach the current people in another perspective to avoid the repeating activities. Human being has the instinct to evade the mistakes they already tasted, and history plays such a role as a reminder. Then, when current people confront the similar situations, they can consciously select the other ways to approach their goals or even discard those unrealistic objectives. As the result of these actions, social advancement can be developed more smoothly and quickly. In retrospect on political history, Hitler’s being destroyed warned the monocrats can never defeat people’s desire on freedom; Stalin’s personal worship finally leads to the disorganization of former Soviet Union. Therefore, history utilizes its powerful right in illustrating that society development has its certain discipline and trend, and any aggressive people with illusion to break it are destined to fail.


In conclusion, understanding of the past guides presents people to solve, if not all, the problems today, and meanwhile to avoid the mistakes which were made before. Therefore, everyone, from the leaders in all the realms to the common citizens, should learn the history and will undoubtedly gain much from it.
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发表于 2009-7-29 11:13:04 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 hdsf2003 于 2009-7-29 11:15 编辑

Does looking back for an understanding of the past provide guidance for living in the present? My answer is sure. With the rapid development and advancement in both society and technology, I concede that some particular complex problems of today do not have traceable resolutions(分辨,你确定用的是这个意思?)in the past, however, from the general sense, history can always provide profound root, trend, and great achievements for the current people with which we can progress from present, and meanwhile, history also teach people to avoid repeating mistakes our ancestors already did. (开头很好,你的特点,总是非常贴题)

Admittedly, our contemporary era has numerous particular problems of more complexities than ever before. After the second industrial revolution, the development of society and technology has been expedited many times compared to all the centuries before. Every day when we are enjoying the valuable convenience and enjoyable leisure, we are also suffering from the backside of their shadow. Global warming is becoming worse day by day; Aging society is gradually happening in many countries; Internet crimes as named as hacker attack is drawing people to a new fear for their securities; and even regular people have to worry about that someday the nuclear weapons would destruct their home. Technical as a double-edged sword has severely impacted our daily life and even the human being as a whole. Since these problems emerge as the outcome of the new advancement which didn't happen in the past, we indeed lack the information from history to make them resolved. All in all, life is just like a box of chocolate, no matter the next one is bitter or not, people have to endure the result they created before. (学习了,非常大的信息量,你这段我都没有想过,但是知道总缺点什么,在你这里找到了答案,哈哈)

However, apart from the practical resolutions for these time-tagged problems, it is also undeniable that many fundamental achievements have been made in history in different terms and they formed the foundation for the development in present. History, in the first place, provides us knowledge which our ancestors already found and lead us to start from the point with these premises. After all, human knowledge is a cumulative database, and without the endeavor of past generations, such a fortune can never be found by people living in modern times. Just with the heliocentric theory of Copernicus could Kapler propose the mathematical description for the epicyclic motion and established the foundation of modern astronomy. And also only based on Kepler’s work could Newton made valuable contributions to the modern physics with the law of gravity. Equally, the present tremendous success on optical fiber, telecommunication such as TV, cell phones and PC also cannot deny the contribution which Maxwell equations research did in the past. As can be seen, the development of human knowledge is a progress with gradually increasing knowledge and thus the society is developmentdevelopingon this basis. 很有说服力,强,你怎么可以想到这么多例子呢,还有这些人名字和专业术语,怎么记得住,还不会写错。。。

In addition, mistakes of the past can also teach the current people in another perspective to avoid the repeating activities. Human being has the instinct to evade the mistakes they already tasted, and history plays such a role as a reminder. Then, when current people confront the similar situations, they can consciously select the other ways to approach their goals or even discard those unrealistic objectives. As the result of these actions, social advancement can be developed more smoothly and quickly. In retrospect on political history, Hitler’s being destroyed warned the monocrats can never defeat people’s desire on freedom; Stalin’s personal worship finally leads to the disorganization of former Soviet Union. Therefore, history utilizes its powerful right in illustrating that society development has its certain
discipline
principle
and trend, and any aggressive people with illusion to break it are destined to fail.

In conclusion, understanding of the past guides presents people to solve, if not all, the problems today, and meanwhile to avoid the mistakes which were made before. Therefore, everyone, from the leaders in all the realms to the common citizens, should learn the history and will undoubtedly gain much from it. 结尾到位。。

没有什么好挑剔的。。。。哈哈

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发表于 2009-7-29 16:57:52 |只看该作者
做一些语言方面的修改:

Does looking back for an understanding of the past provide guidance for living in the present? My answer is sure.(yes,,用sure很别扭) With the rapid development and advancement in both society and technology, I concede that some particular complex problems of today do not have traceable resolutions in the past, however, from the general sense, history can always provide profound root, trend,形容词的搭配有些奇怪) and great achievements for the current people这种说法很奇怪,还有下面的the present people)with which we can progress from present.(多余, and meanwhile, history also teaches people to avoid repeating mistakes our ancestors already did.(made

Admittedly, our contemporary(多余) era has numerous particular problems of more complexities than ever before. After the second industrial revolution, the development of society and technology has been expedited many times compared to all the centuries before. Every day when we are enjoying the valuable 形容词的搭配有些奇怪)convenience and enjoyable leisure, we are also suffering from the backside of their shadow. Global warming is becoming worse day by day; Aging society is gradually happening(emerging/forming/taking shape?) in many countries; Internet crimes as named as(没见过这个用法…) hacker attack is drawing people to a new fear for their securities; and even regularordinary?) people have to worry about that someday the nuclear weapons would destructdestroy?destruct一般指故意毁坏某物,尤其是火箭或导弹等 their home. Technical as a double-edged sword has severely impacted our daily life and even the human being as a whole. Since these problems emerge as the outcome of the new advancement which didn't happen in the past, we indeed lack the information from history to make them resolved. All in all, life is just like a box of chocolate, no matter the next one is bitter or not, people have to endure the result they created before.

However, apart from the practical resolutions for these time-tagged problems, it is also undeniable that many fundamental achievements have been made in history in different terms and they formed the foundation for the development in present. History, in the first place, provides us knowledge which our ancestors already found and lead us to start from the point with these premises. After all, human knowledge is a cumulative database, and without the endeavor of past generations, such a fortune can never be found by people living in modern times. Just with the heliocentric theory of Copernicus could Kapler propose the mathematical description for the epicyclic motion and established the foundation of modern astronomy. And also only based on Kepler’s work could Newton mademake)valuable contributions to the modern physics with the law of gravity. Equally, the present tremendous success on optical fiber, telecommunication such as TV, cell phones and PC also cannot deny the contribution which Maxwell equations research did(make in the past. As can be seen, the development of human knowledge is a progress with gradually increasing knowledge and thus the society is development on this basis.

In addition, mistakes of the past can also teach the current people in another perspective to avoid the repeating activities(不地道). Human being has the instinct to evade the mistakes they already tasted, and history plays such a role as a reminder. Then, when current people confront the similar situations, they can consciously select the(去掉)other ways to approachachieve?) their goals or even discard those unrealistic objectives. As the result of these actions, social advancement can be developedmade more smoothly and quickly. In retrospect on political history, Hitler’s being destroyed别扭,不如Hitler's failure warned the monocrats can never defeat people’s desire on freedom; Stalin’s personal worship finally leads to the disorganization of former Soviet Union. Therefore, history utilizes its powerful right in illustrating that society development has its certain discipline and trend, and any aggressive people with illusion to break it are destined to fail.

In conclusion, understanding of the past guides presents people to solve, if not all, the problems today, and meanwhile to avoid the mistakes which were made before. Therefore, everyone, from the leaders in all the realms to the common citizens, should learn the history and will undoubtedly gain much from it.

注意动词的搭配:make a contributionto和 make a mistake。

And also only based on Kepler’s work could Newton mademake)valuable contributions to the modern physics with the law of gravity.
在上面这个一般语序的句子中,没有出现错误。而在下面这3个句子中(包含定语从句),动词都用错了。其实只要还原成原来的语序,就不会弄错了。
history also teaches people to avoid repeating mistakes our ancestors already did.(made
also cannot deny the contribution which Maxwell equations research did(make in the past.
social advancement can be developedmade more smoothly and quickly. ( advancement与development同意,如果前面由动词,个人感觉应该用make,另外,有如下搭配:make an advance)

另外,感觉语言不地道,建议作者时间充裕的话(比如还有1个月左右考AW),每天看一两篇地道的英语文章(如版上推荐的Time等网站上的文章)。学习一下其中的语言。

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RE: 【辉太郎杀G大队】7/28作业by Aliciasun [修改]

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