8.11 作文练习， 望托友帮忙修改

applo111UID: 2679100

Title:Agreeor disagree with the following statement: it is more important toaward students for effort (trying or hard working) than forachievement (good grades)

A famous celebrity of China has saidthat the greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising afteryou fall. From that, we could see that try to work hard is moreimportant than never failure or great achievement. I totally agreethat we should always be diligent in doing everything, and never seemto be proud of the achievement.

Obviously, almost for sure that no onewill be successful all the time, only the effort can do favor toimprove yourself and give your great reward. As the society isdeveloping forward, everything becomes more and more complicated anddifficult. A scientist maybe devoted all his or her life into thespecial domain to work day in and day out, which could guarantee thefinal achievement. Never to say, a person will succeed without greateffort. The more work you do, the deep you will know about  what youlearn and what you do, meanwhile, unconsciously your ability to solveproblem will gradually improve, which will be beneficial to yourfuture.

Moreover, good grades often areachieved through hard work. As we all know that everyone is the sameintellectual as other people, then how to become standout among thepeer, which depends on hard work. Edison is a very talented andenergetic scientist, but he insisted on doing experiment and thinkingabout difficulties for a long time everyday, and in most case hestayed up for the deep night. He owned the title of a famous inventorand embraced the great honor among the world, based on effort andsweat. And the achievement is only a little harvest of that. Why notlearn from his case and make more contribution to the worlddevelopment.

Though achievement is also important,which makes us more confident, encourage to do better next time, itis necessary for us that put all our energy and thought on it.President Thomas Jefferson has said that he was a believer on luck,but he also found that the harder he worked, the more he had of it.So it is better for us to award students for effort, though he maynot have achieved good marks.

Generally speaking, I totally agreethat we should lay more emphasis on the students with hard work, whomaybe not get good scores. It doesn’t matter, and it way mayinspire him to do better next time. So in this way, it will bebeneficial to the education and development of students.

ly8768UID: 2452066

1# applo111
A famous celebrity of China has said that the greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising after you fall. From that, we could see that try to work hard is more important than never failure or great achievement. I totally agree that we should always be diligent in doing everything, and never seem to be proud of the achievement.

Obviously, almost for sure that no one will be successful all the time, only the effort can do favor to improve yourself and give your great reward. As the society is developing forward, everything becomes more and more complicated and difficult. A scientist maybe devoted all his or her life into the special domain to work day in and day out, which could guarantee the final achievement. Never to say, a person will succeed without great effort. The more work you do, the deep you will know about  what you learn and what you do, meanwhile, unconsciously your ability to solve problem will gradually improve, which will be beneficial to your future.

这段写的确实挺不错的，有论证有例子，不过好像有些偏题，这个要限定在students身上

Moreover, good grades often are achieved through hard work. As we all know that everyone is the same intellectual as other people(这个不准确，As we all know that in each school there is no big differences on students’ intelligence), then how to become standout among the peer, which(不要which，how to 是主语) depends on hard work. Edison is a very talented and energetic scientist, but he insisted on doing experiment and thinking about difficulties for a long time every day, and in most case(cases) he stayed up for(at，固定搭配) the deep night. He owned the title of a famous inventor and embraced the great honor among the world, based on effort and sweat. And the achievement is only a little harvest of that. Why not learn from his case and make more contribution to the world development.

Edison的例子最好能和学生关联起来，最后一句make more contribution感觉有点像喊口号，前面都没有提过more contribution to the world development.这最后来了一句有点想中国作文

Though achievement is also important, which makes us more confident, encourage to do better next time, it is necessary for us that(to) put all our energy and thought on it. President Thomas Jefferson has said that he was a believer on luck, but he also found that the harder he worked, the more he had of it. So it is better for us to award students for effort, though he may not have achieved good marks.

Generally speaking, I totally agree that we should lay more emphasis on the students with hard work, who maybe not get good scores. It doesn’t matter, and it way may inspire him to do better next time. So in this way, it will be beneficial to the education and development of students.
看得出你读的书挺多的，语言很不错，写得时候要注意和题目保持一致，限定词也很重要，不然容易跑题的～

jzouc_ibt27UID: 2513888

对你作文的修改见附件，记得去点评我的哦~~~~谢谢啊~~~