冰rachel1102 的作文作业

rachel1102UID: 2657934

8.18 同意或不同意：老師的報酬應該根據學生的表現來決定
第一次写，写的超级不爽，憋了两个小时才憋出来这么点，大家狠批啊~
In our society, teachers are indispensable. They teach us how to write, how to communicate with other people even how to be a good person. There is no doubt that teachers play an important role in our life. Then how much the teachers should be paid is a problem. Some people propose that teachers should be paid according to the performance of their students, but I can hardly agree.



In a sense, the performance of the teachers decides the performance of the students. As a teachers, he or she should be responsible for the students’ performance. The key role of the teacher in the learning process should not be neglected. Teachers can help the students to correct their disadvantages and tell them how to do things well. The students will do as their teachers’ words.



However, the students’ performance depends largely on themselves. If the students are not interested in learning or not like to study at school, the teachers can hardly be held responsible. For example, when I was at primary school, I didn’t like study at all. Even though my teacher Mr. Yang often told me the importance of the study, and taught me the subject carefully, I still play games all the time and not do the homework. So during that period, I was very bad, but it was due to myself not my teacher. I know Mr. Yang had tried him best to make me better. Now I am a good student in university just because I change my attitude.


What’s more, it is difficult to determine what is good performance or bad performance. One student who does not study well may be good at activity. He may be a good monitor to make the whole class hold together, they may
help each other ,encourage each other and love each other. He also performs very good.


Overall, I think that teachers should not be paid according to the performance of their students. It is unfair for the teachers to be judged by the students’ performance not themselves’.

arimidyUID: 2673973

In our society, teachers are indispensable. They teach us how to write, how to communicate with other people even how to be a good person. There is no doubt that teachers play an important role in our life. Then how much the teachers should be paid is a problem. Some people propose that teachers should be paid according to the performance of their students, but I can hardly agree.

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In a sense, the performance of the teachers decides the performance of the students. As a teachers, he or she should be responsible for the students’ performance. The key role of the teacher in the learning process should not be neglected. Teachers can help the students to correct their disadvantages and tell them how to do things well. The students will do as their teachers’ words.（这段还应该再有所展开，段落太短文字就不充实，可以举举例子） x
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However,(如果是转折的话作者就自相矛盾了) the students’ performance depends largely on themselves. If the students are not interested in learning or not like to study at school, the teachers can hardly be held responsible（为什么是被动?）. For example, when I was at primary school, I didn’t like study at all. Even though my teacher Mr. Yang often told me the importance of the study, and taught me the subject carefully, I still play games all the time and not do the homework. So during that period, I was very bad, but it was due to myself not my teacher. I know Mr. Yang had tried him best to make me better. Now I am a good student in university just because I change my attitude. ) V% K8 M( w3 p
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What’s more, it is difficult to determine what is good performance or bad performance. One student who does not study well may be good at activity. He may be a good monitor to make the whole class hold together, they may help each other ,encourage each other and love each other. He also performs very good.5 ^  w% J" Z5 ?, @" Q
Overall, I think that teachers should not be paid according to the performance of their students. It is unfair for the teachers to be judged by the students’ performance not themselves’.
写作需要多练习，加油～

starter_123UID: 2576008

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In our society, teachers are indispensable. They teach us how to write, how to communicate with other people and even how to be a good person. There is no doubt that teachers play an important role in our life. (问题提出不是很自然)Then how much the teachers should be paid is a problem. Some people propose that teachers should be paid according to the performance of their students, but I can hardly agree（这个表达第一次见，不过很新颖）.9 _6 K, H5 [; m! |4 t( f! g

In a sense, the performance of the teachers decides the performance of the students. As a teachers, he or she should be responsible for the students’ performance. The key role of the teacher in the learning process should not be neglected. Teachers can help the students to correct their disadvantages and tell them how to do things well. The students will do as their teachers’ words. (展开的不太好哈，既然提到了the role of teacher,那么就在role上多讲讲吧)& Z0 Y/ @) |- O9 F/ W

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However, the students’ performance depends largely on themselves. If the students are not interested in learning or not like to study at school, the teachers can hardly be held responsible. For example, when I was at primary school, I didn’t like study at all. Even though my teacher Mr. Yang often told me the importance of the study, and taught me the subject carefully, I still played games all the time and not do the homework. So during that period, I was very bad(这个是说人的品质很差吧), but it was due to myself not my teacher. I know Mr. Yang had tried him best to make me better. Now I am a good student in university just because I change my attitude.(能用例子展开，比上段好多了。)
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What’s more, it is difficult to determine what is good performance or what is bad performance. One student who does not study well may be good at activity(不知道时候有歧义，good at holding activity ?). He may be a good monitor to make the whole class hold together, they may help each other ,encourage each other and love each other. (He also performs very good)这个也有歧义.

Overall, I think that teachers should not be paid according to the performance of their students. It is unfair for the teachers to be judged by the students’ performance not themselves’.  

语言的控制能力不错啊， 能把意思表达的十分清楚，但是可能写的少，话比较少吧。另外， 有写句子有歧义。。。 最好给句子上多谢限定词的修饰。在注意一些，时态和单复数问题， 语法托福要求很严的。

rachel1102UID: 2657934

3# starter_123
感谢你的评论，很详细哈。我的问题太多了，我会继续努力的~