Argument51 (模考12) 请大家拍拍 （写的都还没有被看过呢好心人给看看）

pinuoUID：2328081

TOPIC: ARGUMENT51 - The following appeared in a medical newsletter.

"Doctors have long suspected that secondary infections may keep some patients from healing quickly after severe muscle strain. This hypothesis has now been proved by preliminary results of a study of two groups of patients. The first group of patients, all being treated for muscle injuries by Dr. Newland, a doctor who specializes in sports medicine, took antibiotics regularly throughout their treatment. Their recuperation time was, on average, 40 percent quicker than typically expected. Patients in the second group, all being treated by Dr. Alton, a general physician, were given sugar pills, although the patients believed they were taking antibiotics. Their average recuperation time was not significantly reduced. Therefore, all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain would be well advised to take antibiotics as part of their treatment."
WORDS: 494          TIME: 00:29:59          DATE: 2007-9-4 16:35:32

The author, in the material, confirm the doctors' viewpoint that it is secondary infections that keep some patients who suffer from severe muscle strain from healing quickly, and recommends that all muscle strain patients should take antibiotics during their treatment. The recommendation is problematic in several aspects, thus render it unconvincing as it stands.

First of all, the author fails to provide detail information of the patients of two groups involved in the study, their age, gender, physical condition, and most critical factor, the severeness of their muscle strain, thus we cannot be sure the conditons of patients of two groups are comparable. It is highly possible that those who are in the first group are younger than the second group, which make them can recover quicker than those in second group. Simaly the men is generally believe to recover faster than women.  And the patient of first group can definitely recover much quicker if they suffer from less serious strain than the those in second group.

In addition, even if I were to concede the personal conditions of the patients in two groups are comparable, the author provide sufficient to support the statement that antibiotics help the patient heal quickly. First, Dr. Newland, who specialized in sports medicine, perhaps be more experienced in deal with mucscle strain than Dr. Alton who is a general physician. The patients of first groups might accepted several special treatment besides taking antibiotics regularly. For example, Dr. Newland requireed his patients taking some specified exercise, which contributed more to the patients's fast recover than the antibiotis. While Dr. Alton take the regular treatment, it is the exercise decide the different consequence of  treatment. Thus, it is sure the antibiotis help the patient recover quicker.

Finally, even the author provide evidence that antibiotics is the only difference of two groups, and it is the antibiotics lead to the different treatment effects, it is not reasonable to suggest all the patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain to take anitbiotics. First, the assumption is that antibiotics is effectual for the severe muscle strain patient. Perhaps it is not a good treatment for the light muscle strain patient. Second, even it can help all the muscle strain patient healing, the side-effect of the drug has to be evaluated, it is entirely possible some harm it inflicted on the body of patient far outweigh its benefits.

In sum, to convince me that the recommendation that all the muscle strain patients shoud tak antibiotics in their treatment to achieve a fast recover, the author need to provide evidence that the personal condition of patients in two groups are comparable. And author also need clearly present evidence the patients of two groups received the same treatment besides antibiotics. To better asses the recommendation, I need the evidence that the antibiotics can help all the muscle strain patients not only the severe patients and they have no side-effects which will threaten the health of patients.

pinuoUID：2328081

The author, in the newsletter, confirm the doctors' viewpoint that it is secondary infections that keep some patients who suffer from severe muscle strain from healing quickly, and recommends that all muscle strain patients should take antibiotics during their treatment. The recommendation is problematic in several aspects, thus render it unconvincing as it stands.

First of all, the author fails to provide detail information of the patients of two groups involved in the study, their age, gender, physical condition, and the most critical factor, the seriousness of their muscle strain, thus we cannot be sure the conditions of patients of two groups are comparable. It is highly possible that those who are in the first group are younger than the second group, which make them can recover quicker than those in second group. Similarly the men are generally believed to recover faster than women. And the patient of first group can definitely recover much quicker if they suffer from less serious strain than those in second group.

In addition, even if I were to concede the personal conditions of the patients in two groups are comparable, the author provides insufficient evidence to support the statement that antibiotics help the patient heal quickly. First, Dr. Newland, who specialized in sports medicine, perhaps is more experienced in deal with muscle strain than Dr. Alton who is a general physician. The patients of first groups might accept several special treatments besides taking antibiotics regularly. For example, Dr. Newland required his patients taking some specified exercise, which contributed more to the patients' fast recover than the antibiotics, while Dr. Alton took the regular treatment, it is the exercise caused the different consequence of treatment. Thus, it is not sure the antibiotics help the patient recover quicker.

Finally, even the author provide evidence that whether taking antibiotics is the only difference of two groups, and antibiotics led to the different treatment effects, it is not reasonable to suggest all the patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain to take antibiotics. First, the assumption is that antibiotics are effectual for the severe muscle strain patient. Perhaps it is not a good treatment for the slight muscle strain patient. Second, even it can help all the muscle strain patient healing quickly, the side-effect of the drug has to be evaluated, it is entirely possible some harm it inflicted on the body of patient far outweigh its benefits.

In sum, to convince me that the recommendation that all the muscle strain patients should take antibiotics in their treatment to achieve a fast recover, the author need to provide evidence that the personal condition of patients in two groups are comparable. And author also need clearly present evidence the patients of two groups received the same treatment besides antibiotics. To better asses the recommendation, I need the evidence that the antibiotics can help all the muscle strain patients not only the severe patients and they have no side-effects which will threaten the health of patients.

00夏花UID：2211278

条理和逻辑都不错，感觉是一篇比较上等的文章

leopard416UID：2373639

把你的文章帖到word一看,有几处拼写和语法错误,建议你先在word里自己改过了再帖过来会好改一些,我就不在版子上改了，一是其实你往word里一帖就知道了,二是版子上改找着也累.

第一个建议是这里看过的一个帖子里说过的,argument要找最主要的逻辑谬误第一个攻击,这里说的原因Doctors have long suspected that secondary infections may keep some patients from healing quickly after severe muscle strain. This hypothesis has now been proved by preliminary results of a study of two groups of patients.结果Therefore, all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain would be well advised to take antibiotics as part of their treatment."
首先医生一直以来只是怀疑,现在也只被一个实验初步证明,作者就敢well的建议，再有怀疑some病人会好些,就敢建议all都take,这个应该被攻击到而且最好最先攻击它.

攻击例子的错误类比，证据不足,他因你已经搞的很强了,没什么问题,楞要说的话,我觉得first这段里要不要加上false analogy,指明错误类型,我都是听新东方老师说的先写句套话,一凑字数,二也显得思路清晰,一看就知道你攻击的是什么.

另外还有几个可以写的,比如说抗生素是不是有副作用啊,糖片是不是一点影响没有啊,再有就是二次感染是不是一定会发生,不是所有的拉伤都有2次感染.不过主要是驳倒了这个调查他已经站不住脚了.

最后结尾I need the evidence 我觉得是不是换一个比较好,用被动好了,不要加上Ｉ，让人觉得有主观倾向．

说这么多，最后留下我写的两篇，楼主有空帮忙拍下．https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/thread-733261-1-1.html
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/thread-733243-1-1.html

leopard416UID：2373639

哦，没注意，后面那个红笔改的也是楼主自己改的，那刚才word那段话算我没说．