填写common application中的short answer

13945663557UID：2859869

今天填写common app的时候碰到了writing中的short answer,我是这么写的：
6 k6 e0 D% q! f. FAfter graduate in senior high school,I spent half a year in Sichuan Province to research the covery of Wenchuan which was damaged by an earthquake in 2008.I think if we want to see the ability of governance of a party,we can see the rebuild of a city.Strong earthquake brings great loss to peoples lives and property, post-disaster reconstruction task is urgent and arduous.I take a lot of picture in my report and write a full and accurate first hand information about the people's life there.Then,in the same year,I was admitted by a college in Singapore and wanted to see how this small developed country can developed so fast in only 49 years.I visited its flourishing business model and got to know the quality of life there.Comparing with the people in China and found the differences on GHN.Though it takes almost two years to finish this research,I think it's worthy.Sometimes we can't stay in theory studies,the practice is more important.
不知道是否可以，如有语法或用词不准上的错误望各位大牛给予指教，小弟在此拜谢~   ：）

13945663557UID：2859869

自己先顶一下