~逆~的作文小屋

~逆~UID：2878571

以后几个月的作文都在这里了 对自己说加油

~逆~UID：2878571

If you do not make sure other people (especially influential people or your employers) know about your strengths and accomplishments, you will never get successful in life


Nowadays,the increase of competition in society and the pressure which competition brings have fully influenced our life.More and more people are caring their future all the time.It is common to see that people think of every way to please their employers.What's more,they even do something they are not willing to do to make the influential people happy.That obviously indicate that whether your boss are in favor of you plays an important role on the way to success.

Today's society pursuits profits.Those who do not show much intelligence in accomplishing their own works are more like to be cast away by companies when the company is in a pinch.So let employers know your ability as quickly as possible for boss are realistic.If someone is full of knowledge and does his(her) your job pretty well ,however, he(she) is in a low profile.How pity it is!Show yourself and make yourself known with others,your employers and your workmates.

Someone may say that those who are precious gold will finally shines brightly.That sounds reasonable but given the time they have wasted until they are recognized as gold they will be regretful for lacking the ability of showing themselves.

So in a word successful people must have the real skills and the ability to show themselves

~逆~UID：2878571

上面是我的第一篇 也就是8月12号要交的作业 欢迎大家提出意见  好像字数不够 但我已经尽力了  以后会慢慢赶上的  不好意思

breezerhUID：2819401

哟，小逆同学第一篇作文是我改哦。

Nowadays,the increase of competition in society and the pressure which competition brings have fully influenced our life. More and more people are caring (about) their future all the time. It is common to see that people think of every way to please their employers. What's more, they even do something they are not willing to do to make the influential people happy. (换个结构如何，例如：Unwilling affairs have been taken place by them for the felicity of the influential people who are in charge of their promotion. 感觉同样的句型接连出现太多了。 ) That obviously indicate that whether your boss are in favor of you plays (takes) an important role on the way to success.; B4 I+ H7 y/ K) q: `: b% G

Today's society pursuits profits.(童鞋，这句有点Chenglish啦。 应该加上people)
Those who do not show much intelligence in accomplishing their own works are more like to be cast away by companies when the company is in a pinch. So let employers know your ability as quickly as possible for boss are realistic（感觉用important或者 significant会好点）. If someone is full of knowledge and does his(her) your job pretty well ,however, he(she) is in a low profile（这个词学习了……谢谢哦）. How pity it is! Show yourself and make yourself known with others, your employers and your workmates.（这句好像有点和上面那句断开了，加一个so吧）" _5 h# T9 H, Q4 H' s2 F* Q' r

Someone may say that those who are precious gold will finally shines brightly（这句不是这样说的吧……我查了一下谚语，好像是all is not gold glitters, but gold will glitter forever.不敢确定对不对，等高人指正） That sounds reasonable but given the time they have wasted until they are recognized as gold they will be regretful for lacking the ability of showing themselves.

So in a word successful people must have the real skills and the ability to show themselves

  1、字数不够哦童鞋。老师建议我们300+
  2、Details很重要。又可以让论点有力，又可以增加字数，所以detail是个好东西啊！
  3、水平有限，如有改错，纯属必然
  4、加油。

niyinanUID：2693578

改完

~逆~UID：2878571

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should allow children to make their own choices rather than determine their children’s future for them.



To what extent does the decision of parents determine success of a man? Some propose that without the assistance of their relatives,especially parents,one may never touch success.However,in my view,under certain condition, parents' opinions plays a significant role.But it never means giving up independent ideas and spirits,or living in others' shadows.

Along with the development of our society in nearly every area,challenges and problems people confront have been so complex and difficult that an adolescent can hardly deal with them. As a consequence,teenagers often come into society with the help of parents instead of being alone. Because a teenager have not experienced enough to make a good choice when confronted with some problem concerning one's whole life. In that situation,parents' advice must be taken in consideration,or he(she) may make some serious mistakes and will get regretful in the future.

However,a person should have his(her) own criterion of success and fail,but not always evaluate values according to others' standard.or he(she) will be the slave of others. Moreover,our society is changing so fast that a plan sounds reasonable yesterday may be abandoned today,for it no long fits today's definition of success. Thus parents' arbitrary decisions may only be recognized by public in their time but not suitable now. For instance ,Bill Gates was not considered a person with tremendous potentials by his parents when he dropped from Harvard University,however,tens of years after,he has become the richest and one of the most influential people in our globe. Many people try their best to gain his appreciation to join in his corporation. If Gates had followed his mother ,he should have continued his study and try to be hired by IBM. History informs us success primarily depends on the precise evaluation of the situation you are in and the decision you make.

To sum up,parents' suggestion should be respected but you must have your own thiking!

qsubqUID：2838781

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should allow children to make their own choices rather than determine their children’s future for them.

To what extent does the decision of parents determine success of a man? Some propose that without the assistance of their relatives, especially parents, one may never touch success. However, in my view, under certain condition, parents' opinions plays a significant role. But it never means giving up independent ideas and spirits, or living in others' shadows.) D" w. k' `1 S, i  s: w5 u& C0 d

Along with the development of our society in nearly every area, challenges and problems people confront have been so complex and difficult that an adolescent can hardly deal with them. As a consequence, teenagers often come into society with the help of parents instead of being alone. Because a teenager have(has) not experienced enough to make a good choice when confronted with some problem (problems) concerning one's whole life. In that situation, parents' advice must be taken in consideration, or he(she) may make some serious mistakes and will get regretful in the future./ M2 O" w2 ^/ V2 Y

However, a person should have his(her) own criterion of success and fail, but not always evaluate values according to others' standard. or(Or) he(she) will be the slave of others. Moreover, our society is changing so fast that a plan sounds(sounded) reasonable yesterday may be abandoned today, for it no long fits today's definition of success. Thus parents' arbitrary decisions may only be recognized by public in their time but not suitable now. For instance, Bill Gates was not considered as a person with tremendous potentials by his parents when he dropped from Harvard University, however, tens of years after, he has become the richest and one of the most influential people in our globe. Many people try their best to gain his appreciation to join in his corporation. If Gates had followed his mother, he should have continued his study and try to be hired by IBM. History informs us success primarily depends on the precise evaluation of the situation you are in and the decision you make.
; L" Q7 z' B# [4 S2 m
To sum up, parents' suggestion should be respected but you must have your own thiking(thinking)!

标记：
下划线表示我自己学习的短语，词等。
表示同义词替换，我只用了children, kids这两个，不会用teenager，adolescent，囧。。。。。

评：整体很清晰，第一段表明态度；第二段阐述孩子在做决定时，父母应该参与，给建议；第三段举了盖茨的例子，说明父母对成功的定义，未必适合当下；最后一句话结束。
连词也注意了，基本上达标喽（这部分应该可以符合ETS的要求吧~）

我基本修改的都是语法错误，拼写错误，文章大问题没有。本人水平有限，这次交的是有生以来第三篇托福作文，所以要是有啥疏漏，有啥不足之处，敬请指正哈。

qsubqUID：2838781

囧。。。。。
粘贴依然掉色。。。。。

crystal5841UID：2710710

不好意思啊，传晚了~~~~

~逆~UID：2878571

Television or telephone? which effects people more?
To what extent have these modern equipments invented by those genius changed human life.Some propose that without the invention of modern facilities, we may now live in the wooden house like our ancestors and do some simply works. I do agree with the point of view,because those things like telephones and televisions, which have totally make our life differently .

With the invention and development of telephones, distance of humans has been shortened and we feel that the distance we is only a telephone away. Those tasks which initially need discussions are very inconvenient for someone who lives far away from other members of the group, but now things are changed for a telephone meeting is a good solution to the difficulty In that way ,the working efficiency are tremendously advanced .Further more, the advanced working efficiency is gradually influencing the rhythm of living. In the early days, most people live relaxed and do not need to concern about so many things we now have to deal with. But if you do that way in the temporary society you will be cast away soon.

As with televisions which are firstly used for pleasure. How great it is that with this invention we know almost every important event happening in the world. It has brought information transmitting revolution as information travels so slowly by verbal explanations from one to another before. What's more,sufficient entertainments television has brought is so pleasing that we kill our spare boring time while watching these programs. Also, some educating programs are so helpful that we benefit a lot from them. It provides us a new way to study, and students can obtain something different from what they have got from school.

To sum up, telephones make people closer for each other, thus people live in a more efficient life. Television totally changed the way we get information and the information transportation. They are of equal importance.

ArantUID：2814596

改好了~

Colin_hUID：2855722

改好啦~~

~逆~UID：2878571

Do you agree or disagree :playing sports give you more lessons about life ?

Nowadays people care nothing more than health,because with the development of human society people are thinking of pursuing their life quality more than before. And what is more, people seldom have time particularly do some sports in the working time. So they spend their part time to do excise. In this way the sporting studiums flourish among people especially the young people.

Studies have shown that people are less healthy than their ancestors,for the way we live are changed as the inventions of modern equipments like cars,computers and cellphones which makes our bodies inactive compared with people in old times.

Sports are crucial to almost all kinds of people.For examples,data is tell us children who are active are more likely to perform well in many aspects. Parents should not forbidden or inhibit children's active behaviours. On the other hand children should be encouraged to do what they want like playing stones, sand or even some dirty things. Thus children learn something by communicating with natures which is important but difficult to be taught to them by books or parents' explanations.

Teenagers often have fierce intensity of doing sports. They need to release some of their impulses in case impulses dominate them. After doing sports teenagers feel better thus the depression is cured. Besides, adolescents gain confidence if they are doing well in playing some ball games while they do not perform well in studies and are always be criticized by tethers and parents.

Further more adults can not get rid of sports either. It is now a big problem that many more diseases have been haunting among people between 30 to 50 as they pay less attention on heath than on careers.

To sum up, sports is of vital importances for people and their is a saying goes 'life is motions' and we should overcome our laziness and do sports spontaneously to build health bodies.

fd笑笑UID：2791669

改好了！

bruce520UID：2634940

改完，见附件