haoanna作文本

haoannaUID：2582245

9月11日交
2009.9.19 NA  Government should moresupport art museum and music performance than recreational facilities, such asswimming pool or play ground.

When faced withsupporting art museum and music performance or recreational facilities,majority declaims the government should choose the previous one, which is alsomy inclination.The reasons comes frommy comparison of apparent advantage and durable advantage, which I will demonstrate in the following ways.
In the first place, a particularly notablephenomena in modern society is sharp incresing rich men which devote intobuilding an separated level of poverty as well as commit personal creational facilitiesexpansion. Clearly enjoyable as it is used to take advantage of, privateentertainments are established to satisfy their physical cheers, to show theirwealth and kill time. It reflects our loss in spiritual purchase and also meanswe stress more somatically rather than soul because the physical aim can bereached fast. Unfortunately, we neglect that our culture is who we are. To stopthis serious trending, rising locations for virtual communication should be setup to remind people of the importance of thinking and get charged in knowledge.Therefore art museum which teaches us beauty is a vivid example though it hasno immediate benefits.
Furthermore, if still paying ignorance inthis tendency, we finally have to accept the breakdown of culture and spirit.What’s more, culture loss is a lasting one. From our expression in wallowing inbody relaxation, our envying for millionaire leisure life and wealth, ourchildren would imitate. They form an idea that private creation is an honor toshow society status and knowledge or culture is not essential. As above, culturalor spiritual loss readily informs not only corrupt effects on us but also unavoidableeffects through generations.
At the same time, some may decline that adequacyeducation neutral this trend. Anyway, I am glad to point out, no matter howsmart education our kids are taking; the cultural atmosphere can never befaked. What they do is following our footprints and stepping further, which mayresult in culture ruin in future. In short, kids can never be cultivated bywords but by actions. Absolutely we should provide a destination for them tolearn knowledge for the reason that we know they need cultural education ratherthan solely health. This is not effectiveness but undoubtly works permanent.Surely, it is a wise decision government to support cultivation rather thanrecreational facilities. And swimming pool or playground truly provides ustemporary healthy body though it merely provides a going-on influence on mind.
To put it all into a nutshell, the primaryproblem is the spiritual one. As a consequence, government builds art museumand music performance for cultivation. Also, if the government is sufficient infunding, public facilities for recreation are considerable. Whatever, betterhealth is beneficial.

jiroushirenUID：2890685

When faced withsupporting art museum and music performance or recreational facilities,majority declaims the government should choose the previous one, which is alsomy inclination.The reasons comes（主语是复数） frommy comparison of apparent advantage and durable advantage, which( 指代不清) I will demonstrate in the following ways.
In the first place, a particularly notable phenomena in modern society is sharp incresing rich men which（我觉得应该用WHO，用which 指代的话，猜你是想指代一个剧增的富人现象，现象和后面的 devote into building就不搭配了） an separated level of poverty as well as commit personal creational facilities expansion. Clearly enjoyable as it is used to take advantage of, private entertainments are established to satisfy their（指代不清，猜你是想指代上一句的富人，但是这也太远了吧？）physical cheers, to show their wealth and kill time. It reflects our loss in spiritual purchase and also means we stress more somatically rather than soul because the physical aim can bereached fast. Unfortunately, we neglect that our culture is who we are这句话LZ想表达什么？我理解不上去，是说我们忽视了我的是谁？. 下面的整句话没有主语To stopthis serious trending, rising locations for virtual communication should be setup to remind people of the importance of thinking and get charged in knowledge.Therefore art museum which teaches us beauty is a vivid example though it hasno immediate benefits.
Furthermore, if still paying ignorance inthis tendency, we finally have to accept the breakdown of culture and spirit.What’s more, culture loss is a lasting one. From our expression in wallowing inbody relaxation, our envying for millionaire leisure life and wealth, ourchildren would imitate. They form an idea that private creation is an honor toshow society status and knowledge or culture is not essential. As above, culturalor spiritual loss readily informs not only corrupt effects on us but also unavoidableeffects through generations.
At the same time, some may decline that adequacy education neutral当动词使用？ this trend. Anyway, I am glad to point out, no matter howsmart education our kids are taking; the cultural atmosphere can never befaked. What they do is following our footprints and stepping further, which mayresult in culture ruin in future. In short, kids can never be cultivated bywords but by actions. Absolutely we should（词义太绝对，避免用should,觉得用might比较好，这里给出一个建议） provide a destination for them tolearn knowledge for the reason that we know they need cultural education ratherthan solely health. This is not effectiveness but undoubtly works permanent.Surely, it is a wise decision government to support cultivation rather thanrecreational facilities. And swimming pool or playground truly provides ustemporary healthy body though it merely provides a going-on influence on mind.
To put it all into a nutshell, the primaryproblem is the spiritual one. As a consequence, government builds art museumand music performance for cultivation. Also, if the government is sufficient infunding, public facilities for recreation are considerable. Whatever, betterhealth is beneficial
总评；优点 文章用词丰富，字数很足，LZ的词汇掌握比我高很多，值得我学习。
          不足  部分长句缺少主语，which的指代不明确，有的观点表达过于绝对，本身题目可以从双重角度考虑，应该使用建议语气的词。
          本人刚考完gmat，所以对指代比较敏感，以上只是个人意见，有说的不对的地方，希望与lz共同探讨，共同进步

风起云落UID：2833888

改好了哈~~

风起云落UID：2833888

To stopthis serious trending, 【rising不能删掉么？】 locations for virtual communication should be setup to remind people of the importance of thinking and 【to】get charged in knowledge.

haoannaUID：2582245

4# 风起云落
删掉就正常多了

haoannaUID：2582245

9月14日交& ^5 N$ B7 [5 x! H; [7 ~
2009.9 25NA do you agree ordisagree: having jobs with low paying salary and being high secure is betterthan jobs with high salary but being easy to lost.

When it comes to make a choice between a high paid job withlow security and a low paid job with security, majority of us may support theformer one, which provides a way to pursue larger possession. Opposite to them ,my inclination goes to the latter one for the reasons that I will demonstrateas follows.

The primary element that I prefer to the latter one, which satisfy the most essential need in modern life, is the stability of a job .Obviously,it is almost impossible for someone to ensure the preservation of present jobuntil retirement. Sharp incresing as world's population is, no one can neglect the vast augment of job-hunting competitions worldwide. Moreover, the science's development not only contributes to producing automation but also attributes to the human’s threat of being replaced by machines .At same time, there is no doubt we need to support our family consistently. Hardly can we give up apermanent job with slight pressure because of a lower salary.

In addition, if someone takes the high salary but temporary job, the person should handle with mental tiredness as well as severe body conditions.While suffering the danger to lose job, everyone would turn to diligent working by larger working density and longer working hours. The restless living style mayresult in health damages both mentally and physically. This reminds me of adozen of news about deaths from overwork. If our living reality goes opposite to our original intention, which concludes a healthy body, sufficient money and harmony family relationship, our life is lacking of happiness. So it is wise for us to choose the latter one.

   Last but not least, generally speaking, that a low security job consumes more time to maintain lead to lesstime for family life, which is nearly the core part in everyone's life. For instance,my classmate Kay has a wealthy family because her parents have high positionsbut have been heavy work loaded. As a consequence, she only meet her parents 2 or 3 times a year, which is unbearable to me. From her experience, I get the feeling that I prefer a normal life with parent’s everyday to a lonely life with a great amount of fortune.

   Taking into account of all these factors above, it is reasonable for us to draw a conclusion that a low salary job with high security is more acceptable than a high salary job with low security. Anyway,home is the center of the world and can be never ignored or be set at second place.

canonleeUID：2827997

不错的文章！

haoannaUID：2582245

9月16日交" p. q% K# t- q. {2 A6 |1 H6 u
2009. 10. 17 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Moviesand televisions should always show audience good people are being rewarded andbad people are being punished

   When talks about whether movies and televisions should always show audience good people are being rewarded and bad people are being punished,some show negative opinion because this statement doesn’t indicate correspondence to the real world and every play or movie has a similar ending is tedious.Opposite to them, I show extremely support for the reasons blow.

   Obviously, as the TV occurs in every corner in our life,gradually amplified influences are made on us, especially those who are liable to be affected as well as those who hold passive sense of wealth. When they are exposed to the story of bad companion is the winner ultimately, the desire of offence may be arouse up. Actually, this reminds me of a real crime case, which is a murder by a college student. What impressed me most is that the boy declaim of watching a movie about a killer before he committed the sin. There is no doubt that the movie stimulate the boy to act the antisocial action though it is not the original cause. Powerful as the medias are, we utilize them in proper way.

   In spite of the adults of distinguish ability, a more serious situation is that our children, the next generation who are at the point of forming outlooks of life and personalities are accessible to medias almost everywhere.For they are lacking of judgments and views of moral, what is showing on TV seems to be reality in their eyes. The false ideas may ruin their method of right and just, which leads to  consequences. Revealing from another angle,if TV insists in showing the good people are awarded and bad people are punished,it is an effective way for kids’ mental education, which also relieve our pressures for teaching children.

   Last but not least,the essence of the movies and TV plays is the civilization of human beings,which means that people defy difficulties and dangers to attain a happy endingof society harmony or the achievements of all hopes. That is why we highlight the significant of the just and right in the message transportation through medias.By promoting the method of good survives and bad fades away in TVs and movies,everyone is willing to be cultivated .Forrest Gump, for instance, no one can deny the touching and encouragement of this excel movie.


   To make a shell, I take intensely approval of the media like movies and TVs which should obey the principle of showing the good people are rewarded and the bad ones are punished for the reasons above.And I have confident of the media reforming according to this statement in the near future.

canonleeUID：2827997

其实你第二段最后的意思是：因为低工资放弃一份永久的工作，不可能不面临压力。
我的第一反应是：放弃一份永久的工作不可能不面临压力，因为放弃工作后工资更低...
其实是我理解错了，呵呵

cqx83UID：2671579

sorry,改的有点晚

樾悦UID：2689181

9.16改好了  总觉得第三点的观点有些不明显

nishuowosheiUID：2843451

你看看这样能打开么？不好意思，麻烦了~

haoannaUID：2582245

9 18

haoannaUID：2582245

922

jcf2008UID：2681015

14# haoanna

我等级还不够不能加附件~ 抱歉啦（悲剧）

9月22日交
09.05.30NA   Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Younger school children (ages five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language.
The above topic talks about a current dilemma that a large amount of parents burden their children not only basic science courses but also art courses such as art and music. Apparently, difference people hold different views due to their respective angles, and it seems that it is a little bit hard to reach any absolute consent. On the one hand, some people advocate that art courses are necessary for broader knowledge benefits children’s future; on the other hand, others probably insist that overloaded burden hurt kids’ creativity and the happiness childhood1. The complex nature of the above issue requires us to consider it on a case-by-case basis. From point of view, which one has the most valuable advantages depends on the specific circumstances. In the following analysis, I would like to reason and provide evidence favoring on own consideration: the choices of art courses should be taken by children themselves..

For one thing, an essential reason that can be represented to develop my position is that everyone has own unique talent, which means there is merely a course arrangement applied for everyone .A good example may be found in the case of Edison, who has no interest for anything but invention. If he was forced to learn art or music, he would be in pain. Consequently, it is rational for us to say that what he learns depends on what he likes. To illustrate it profoundly and comprehensively, I would like to cite what one of my favorite writers ever mentioned: interest is the best teacher. Similarly, this case undoubtedly, brings us a lot of inspirations on this respect: under the circumstance that a kid is lacking of ardor for art and music, it is obvious that he or she can never be successful in this field. Thus, I get the feeling that it is needed to ask kids about their tendencies towards the courses.


In addition, there is another reason worth a great deal of concerns to support my position, which is not far to seek: no one can be well done in every course because of the energy limit4. We can easily build up an accurate picture of implications about the children are taking both basic science courses and art courses. There are only two results: the kind of kids who is fond of art may go through the art courses tired but enjoyable after basic science courses, however, other kind who has no taste for art2
feel actually exhausted after whole courses. Apparently, parents have no idea about their kids belong to which kind34. Therefore, positive conclusion can be easily inferred from it to support my position: the final decision is up to young children themselves and parents should not give them basinful academic pressure4.

All in all, the action that parents make decisions for children with the reason that it helps children’s future is scarcely acceptable.
Due to the above-mentioned reasons, which is somewhat correlate with each other to generate an comprehensive and thus more convincing conclusion, we are comfortable to say that whether school children should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language is decided by kids themselves rather than parents, because children’s life is in control of themselves and they have the power to choose what they like.
                                                                                                                                
拙见：
1。。。
2感觉蛮好的，蛮地道的~
3我读起来有些拗口。。。
4为什么观点2和其结论不一致呐？感觉第2个观点阐述没第一个那么清楚吧~
5文章感觉套路的东西多了点~

我作文底子不好，瞎掰2句，希望别介意啊~
同学好强啊，一下就写了500多，我经常30min内打不完啊（哭~）祝考好~