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[备考小组] 201607GRE作文互改小组--微信群:考G的妹子们!专用 [复制链接]

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生农医药offer勋章

发表于 2016-6-12 12:56:59 |显示全部楼层
此贴是微信群“考G的妹子们”的作文互改帖,方便习作上传及相互改进的专用帖。请谨慎留言。

20160614日开始第一篇
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发表于 2016-6-14 19:32:32 |显示全部楼层
The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals

We have to admit that in such a modern society, the majority people has gained benefits from the contemporary life. This kind of new life style has greatly improved our living standards and efficiency of working. But still it is argued that people rely on this luxuries and convenience has deteriorate the independence of ourselves. While enjoying the conveniences of contemporary life is mostly depend on the attitudes we face with.
With the development of the technology, people can focus on the their work more effectively and thus they have more leisure time to relax and have fun. Under this kind of living method, people has already learn to accustomed to work and enjoy in a effectively way. The advanced technology has greatly improved the living standards and intrigued people to learn and pursue new things. People benefit from the luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life and thus they eager to find new ways that can make things better in this direction. Air conditioner is one of the great inventions that people can avoid the hot summer and do not need to bear the high temperature. While people found out it wastes energy thus lead to the high electricity at beginning, and then people has the motivation to do research and find new technology to solve this problem. Accordingly ,we can find the variety kind of air conditioners that owns lots of advantages as they save more energy and more quiet.

But there still has the problems with the luxuries and convenience of living . people seems to be lazy and a lot of people become inertia.  They enjoyed their life and they hold the opinion that everything is fun and do not need to make any progress. Furtherly people rely on the technology and they don’t want to waste time to immersed in the course but just to get the result. When people meet the problem, they will just click and google to find out the lists and results but has no the desire to know  the deep reason behind the results. They rely on the variety of electricity products but has already lost their individual ability. Moreover  is that somebody just addicted to enjoy themselves and having fun but do not earn their living by themselves that some just want to have luxuries life that they spare no efforts evenly break the law.
In conclusion, the key factor is the attitudes people face with the luxuries and conveniences of contemporary living, people has earned a lot of contemporary living and we should find more ways to make this better.

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生农医药offer勋章

发表于 2016-6-15 10:36:25 |显示全部楼层
这是我写的。写了一个小时,conveniences 归到technology类,luxury不知道怎么展开了。
附件: 你需要登录才可以下载或查看附件。没有帐号?立即注册

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生农医药offer勋章

发表于 2016-6-16 18:17:22 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 混混学霸 于 2016-6-16 18:28 编辑

11、People’s behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.

To what extent that people can make their choices under extrinsic constraints is moot. From my point of view, people’s behavior is the result that they make their own choices. I will state this point by presenting deep reasons for constraints people abiding with and under these constraints, what choices can we make freely.

日常生活的例子:生活中有些规则确实约束了人们的行为。比如:我们几点上班,上班时长。过马路要等绿灯,付账要排队。
To begin with, it has been argued that extraneous forces, rather than our free mind, largely determine our behaviors. This is plausible, especially when we apply many rules, laws to limit people’s behaviors. For individuals, for example, when we should begin to work is fixed, as well as working time. Our outfit is based on conditions we’re going to attend. As one constituent in the society, there are many rules we have to abide with. Unless it’s greenlight, we cannot pass the road. If our car speed surpasses limits on a highway, we’ll get a penalty. Before we pay for goods, we have to wait until it’s our turn. These rules, acting regulations, restrict our behaviors in which we can not choose.

但是,与其简单因为这些规则约束,得出结论:人们不能自由选择。深层原因是:人们自己选择制定这些规则和法律,来最大化团体利益。而且这些规则,人们通过世代试验得出来的。
However, we can not debase the capability of autonomous choices by concentrating on reasons on people’s promulgation on regulations. Actually, it’s our choices to obey these rules and regulations which invalidate them. The standardized pattern before we behave is as follows: observe, interpret, behave, feedback and based on feedback, observations would be adjusted. Through this pattern, we observe ongoing surroundings, interpret others’ behaviors, predict possible outcomes of our behaviors, put one predilection on one behavior that benefits us most. Thus, we choose to behave under regulations, such external forces, because individuals concur that under this behavior pattern, our benefits as a whole can be maximized. We even concur on penalties if some provisions are surpassed. Besides, these rules, regulations are formed through trials of generations and implanted into out mind through textbooks, judgments of mainstream medias. Thus, it’s our choices to obey these external forces then they can be apparently constraints.

所以,人们的行为是自由选择的结果。虽然有些规则不能变,但是在这个大框架下,还是可以自主选择的。举例说明。
In conclusion, that some apparently external constraints on our behaviors is actually the result of autonomous choices. But we should not ignore momentous choices under this framework. Take examples we list above. As one employee,we may not choose between rules fixed in the particular company. But we can choose whether or not to work for this company. We may not choose the type of outfit for conferences, but we can choose what colour, whether silk scarf could be used to embellish. Thus, our behaviors are determined by us making our choices and take responsible for them, not external forces. The extent that we make our choices, based on specific conditions, individuals repectively, needs to be exploited.

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生农医药offer勋章

发表于 2016-6-26 18:42:16 |显示全部楼层
89: Claim: Many problems of modern society can not be solved by laws and the legal system.

Reason: Laws can not change what is in people’s hearts or minds.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I agree with the reason that what’s inherent in people’s heart could not be altered by laws. And laws are not perfect and could be ameliorated. But such conceding to imperfect laws and underlying weaknesses in humankind would not debase what laws have achieved. Besides, to improve the order of the society, some measurements, such as ethics education or more, should be conducted to assure the efficacy of law application.

Laws have played an important role in regulating our behaviors, without them, the society could go into totally turmoil. We maximize the profit as a whole through obeying laws, constraining behaviors of constituents. As an individual, in subway, the lower and upper speed limit has been settled, so that speed under this limitation will assure declined numbers of accidents. And penalties once limitations surpassed have been settled. Considering potential costs for disobeying such laws, the order in the subway as well as individual safety has been assured.Laws have played an similar role in industries by increasing forthcoming costs of disobeying them. For example, in the FMCG, to increase profits, some materials would be added into products which have adverse effects on people health. Laws regulate specific usage of additives in one particular kind of food. If the addition of some additive has go out of the scope, such company would be deprived of the food industry. There are many other examples in other aspects of society could be listed here. In such way, behaviors of individuals, and corporations have been regulated, and potential risks could be avoided.

But laws have limitations, it’s impossible that once a law has been promulgated, applied, some adverse problems can be resolved for once and all. Laws sometimes are legislated under contradictions and should be improved later. For example, whether majrawona should be abandoned is one contradiction among states of USA. Some of them sanction the use of the drug for retails while some of them are not. The problem has not been resolved yet. But from the good of the society, we should have faith that germane laws will be passed.

To better fulfill obligations of laws, other facets should be scrutinized. Benefits obtained through obeying laws should be advocated through education, or in the form of salon. Besides, inherent weaknesses of humankind could be ameliorated through avoiding illegal behaviors.

In conclusion, we should not gainsay what laws have achieved. While at the same time, we should concede that laws have imperfections and should be improved based on ensuing problems.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------40min, 423个字。   

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发表于 2016-6-28 18:56:44 |显示全部楼层
To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards
The speaker asserts that a leader must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards that would be judged to be an effective leader. In my view, the speaker unnecessarily broaden the point into the highest standard which we human can never achieve.
  Admittedly, if one leader can obey the basic rules and maintain the ethical and moral standards we would relatively acknowledge that one as  a successful leader. As a leader, one basic rule is to maintain the ethical and moral standards then would receive the welcome and respect from the public. The role of a leader is not simply gather the people to work together but most importantly to play a role that people can learn and simulate from it. It may not be a personal affair but also a social effect which would be crucial for this role. For example, the former president Bill Clinton’s scandal sweep the confidence and support of the people who once believed him, he ruined his fame as he didn’t maintain the basic moral and ethical standards. Although he did a good job at the first beginning in the political fields, while this scandal finally destroyed his whole career as a president.
On the other aspect we can’t find one standard that everyone would admit and obey as the highest ethical and moral standard. Thus it is difficult to judge the leader whether he maintained the highest standards or not. Since people has variety of different perspectives of the highest ethical and moral standards then it is hard to identify the leader’s behavior is right or wrong. For example, people hold different attitudes toward the terrorists especially the children and women of these people. Some would say the terrorists are also humans and their lives should not be cramped, and the leader should not punish those people, while other people hold the opinion that one person should pay off what he has done,  the innocent lives should be cherished, this two different attitudes show us we still haven’t make an agreement on the standards. Moreover, a leader is just one person that we can’t make an exacting standard that the leader should be perfect, there has no perfect human survived in the secular world.
In sum, I agree with the speaker’s assertion that leaders should reach the moral and ethical standard, while I disagree with the opinion that leaders should get the highest moral and ethical standard, the highest standard is critical for a common people and still people haven’t reach an agreement on what is the highest moral and ethical standard. Thus an effective leader could just obey the basic rule of the moral and ethical standard as this is the requirement we put on a leader at least. Still a leader should also make allowance of the happiness and wealthy of people that this is also one judgement of a leader that to be effective.

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生农医药offer勋章

发表于 2016-6-28 19:26:25 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 混混学霸 于 2016-8-16 22:32 编辑

104、To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards. + 反击challenge观点考虑。

What does “effective” mean to one leader? Leaders are lawgivers, shapers of institutions and reformers of institutions which govern the society. Their obligations are robust lives of people. To fulfill such obligations, moralities have played an indispensable role. However, from my perspect, I disagree with the statement that leaders should be pure saints

To begin with, leaders are more likely to be effective owning basic moralities. With moralities, the society would be maintained in one benign order to prevent citizens suffering from turmoil. Leaders are so potent, considering many controversial opinions representing different classes faced with, that criteria of such decisions are crucial. With moralities, leaders have been weighed up the welfare of people over his personal costs. For leader who have put personal gain the most important, in the long run, they would be surrounded by selective classes, which benefiting from each other through backhanded transactions. It's evitable that such leaders would sacrifice benefits of their people for personal gains. In the long run, citizens will suffer because their potential gains have been ignored.

Furthermore, with basic moralities, people have more faith in their leaders. Thus, once some original policies are to be enforced, people are more willing to carry out such policies. We have been always evaluated behaviors of leaders in public as well as their speakings. Leaders have been viewed as models in diversified facets. With moralities, consciously or subconsciously, citizens have been affected by such models with inclinations on justified aspects. Thus, it’s much less possible to come up with impediments caused by divergent standards of ethics. As a result, citizens relish in the order of leaders and have faith that measurements adopted are mostly based on improving the society.

However, it's unrealistic to require that one successful leader should own the highest moralities. Firstly, there is no criterion to qualify behaviors with the highest moralities. People, standing from variegated  points, have various evaluate systems. Sometimes, each may controdicts with the other. Additonally, We should concede that in private, they are normal, just one of constituents of the society.

Sometimes, they would eschew taxes legitimately. Some of them may have sexual scandals in private. However, we should not ignore their achievements in fulfilling obligations. And we should not overly concentrate on leaders’ lives in private even once been disclosed in public.

[fly]In conclusion, it’s not practical to require leaders to be pure saints with the highest ethics.[/fly] Efficiecny would not be compromised on the basis of ownship of ethics.

---------------------30min 380-390的样子。(后面改了下,3分不冤枉)

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生农医药offer勋章

发表于 2016-7-5 18:28:42 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 混混学霸 于 2016-7-5 18:31 编辑

65、Every individual in a society has a responsibility to obey just laws and to disobey and resist unjust laws. 反击+challenge.


Conceding the truth that laws are to maximize benefits of the society as a whole, everyone in the society should obey laws. However, it’s true that laws need to be ameliorated and some laws are unjust. Under such conditions, we should adopt relatively moderate ways to demonstrate our resists.

To begin with, the definition of “just ”and “unjust” varies to every individual. Laws are limited legitimate to every member of the society, in the way that “just” is on the base that our benefits as a whole to be primary. To be concrete, and considering each individual standing from different points,it’s unrealistic for individuals to choose which to obey among the sheer number of laws. There would be always come up with divergent opinions on the choices about whether one specified law should be obeyed or not. For example, some states in the US have sanctioned the use of marajunna in the form of retails. Citizens who favor its legalized use support that some people may get addicted with it, however, its symptoms are not more severe than normal wines. They insisted that there’s no evidence shown that marajunna could induce violent criminal behaviors. While at the same time, other states have not legalized marajunna. For such states, if the legalization of marijunna had been promoted through the US, the germane laws would be unjust with no doubt.

On the other hand, we could not deny that some unjust laws do exist, especially ones which sanction the lower indentities of women, or illegitimate allocation with refugees. However, we should pay more attention on which ways could be more efficient while less aggressive. As one constituent of the society, ways we demonstrate resists on unjust laws should be based on the stability of the nation unaffected.

In conclusion, every individual defines justice and unjustice according to their specified standing points. Thus, it could be impossible for the society to maintain the normal order if everyone chooses to disobey laws according to their definition. While, for some laws are not unjust to a large portion of the society and may impair the society, we should violate them and pay attention on ways.

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生农医药offer勋章

发表于 2016-7-13 19:38:14 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 混混学霸 于 2016-7-13 19:40 编辑

7月8号考了一次。154+163

作文题是非高频,考的企业对社会和 环境责任和义务那道,靠边站。我两边都写了。赚钱那边写了三句话,大概60个字;对环境的责任和义务大概写了200多个字,分论点是:企业重视社会责任吸引潜在客户;如果不重视社会和环境责任会带来怎样的后果。

一个月后二战,希望观点可以再展开些,文章更加饱满。

同时,小伙伴这个月的17日考,祝愿顺利杀G!

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发表于 2016-7-18 19:52:42 |显示全部楼层
请把我也拉进你们的群吧,我也要考

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发表于 2016-7-20 10:13:40 |显示全部楼层
楼主求加,今年也要考GRE

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发表于 2016-7-20 10:14:25 |显示全部楼层
微信号:grl0521

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发表于 2016-7-26 14:26:57 |显示全部楼层
楼主,微信号

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发表于 2016-8-30 17:20:24 |显示全部楼层
求GRE作文互批,感兴趣的可以加我微信nishanyewu,人多的话我会建一个群,大家可以共同进步

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