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issue9. "Academic disciplines have become so specialized in recent years that scholars' ideas reach only a narrow audience. Until scholars can reach a wider audience, their ideas will have little use."
提纲:
position:反对
body:
1.让步 承认事实Academic disciplines have become so specialized in recent years that scholars' ideas reach only a narrow audience.
2.转折 从现今的状况来看 narrow audience 并没有阻碍use的使用
3. 递进 相反 在许多方面 不适当的wider audience反倒会因为对disciplines的一知半解导致ideas不能很好的推进
neko经典习惯论证方式
让步 一正一反
conclusion:对于一个新的discipline来说 最重要的不是让更多人去理解它 而是做出让人更能使用的东西
先就提纲发表一下我的意见:1。花一个让步段去论证题目阐述的一个事实以表示你对题目的肯定似乎和你的立场格格不入。有没有必要去证明这个事实?或者说以怎样的方式将你承认的作者的事实融入到你的反驳中去?(是不是可以一段里面小让步小转折)这都有待商榷。此外,根据你的立场,让步段的位置应该放到后面去。直接了当更好 2。转折部分是从正面论证,可是仅仅是[B]从现今的状况来看[/B]是否全面?这一部分是全文的重点,个人认为所谓的反面论证只是论证的加强补充部分,正面一般是重点。3。这道题目我觉得一开始就容易让我们产生一个误区:题目有一个假设的前提:理念是否有用和观众的多少有必然的联系。那么,无论我们的观点如何,这是一个不可逃避的点。
[U]With the high-speed development of modern science and technology, it is impossible to achieve thea realistic situation in which all people on the earth could be anaudience of any academic discipline.[/U] Narrow broad of audience, however, does not-as the speaker predicted-interfere the popularization of utilization of newly-born disciplines.
作为主题句你的回应不错,可是画线部分造成了这样一个逻辑关系,因为不可能有A情况所以不会发生B情况。这明显是不合理的。
Specialization at the prominent speed in all scientific fields has become an irreversible trend that no one could deny or hold back. The generalists such as Aristotle 2000 years ago will never appear in such world where every second new phenomena are discovered and new disciplines are established while others being abandoned. Nowadays, it becomes ridiculous to expect ordinary people to understand the method of application of mathematics in economical field, the theory about the transformation from solar energy to electronic one, or the mechanism of some chemical curing certain disease.这句话的意思可能表达有误,了解这些问题了就不是ordinary people了?我觉得应该改为 common These disciplines, being like the loftiest artists, fail to resonance the popular but have to find the echoes from minority of people-the experts.
However, lack of understanding of such disciplines never prevents the extension [U]to use [/U] of them. The stock-prognosticating software which involves the utilization of applied mathematics are being used in every office in the Wall street; tremendous watches, calculators, or even cars due to the application of theory few could understand are produced in thousands of factories; and tons of supplements and medicines whose reaction are rarely known by the population are taken down every day. What the users, who can never replaced by the audience of mysterious disciplines, care most is not what the disciplines are, how they function, whether they are simple or difficult to understand, but the result of the application. In other words, the products rather than the logical relation are the only thing consumers pursue; difference between experts and ordinary people eliminates facing with the use of some discipline.
正面论证的部分以例子来堆砌是我不同意的写法,而且本来可以有很多的逻辑层面,因为例子而变的支离破碎。虽然你举了很多例子,但是有局限性:因为你到后来把例子概括到 consumer的角度了,也并没有说明更没有证明其他场合其他时间,这种情况也是一样的。
Moreover既然一正一反,何以见得是moreover, in some cases, the efforts to widewiden the audience of disciplines may cause troubles and interfere the utilization of some disciplines. Take the debut of the nuclear power plant for example. Educators and politicians pushed toward popularization of knowledge about the nuclear power due to the end of World War II without consideration of the ability of [U]the ordinary [/U] 置疑一下:核能的不妥使用是由于人们对于理论的不妥理解么?还是其他什么? to absorb the theory properly. Later in 1960s, the utilization of nuclear power plant faced impassable troubles and doubts about the safety problem from the citizens. Although the complaint and suspicion ended up with the success of the plant, the shades and worries in such generation's minds lasted for more than twenty years.[U] The wrong exception and understanding, once establishing in people's minds, are so big obstacles in the road of utilization of a scientific idea that may cause the process suspect or even abort.[/U] 这句话是为了论证什么而服务?如果是为了论证下面这句话,我建议要修改一下主题句。 From this point of view, when the capability of fully understanding of an idea cannot found in most people, it is better to keep silence to them to avoid misunderstanding and to leave the research work to the experts.
To conclusion,to conclude,in conclusion the narrow audience, the specialists chosen by the society, does not equal to the small market and low possibility of utilization. [U]A new discipline or idea requires nothing concerning public understanding yet a chance for experts to make out useful products.[/U]
总结一下:由于对关系是否存在的讨论是否缺乏,文章的深度需要进一步加强。整体不够可信。文章随后一段的画线句子实际上是一个很重要的论调,如果论证好了,可以自成一段。[B]如果audience 的多少和利用根本没有必然联系的话,又和谈阻碍[/B] ?
个人的一点看法,猫儿不要生气我一句好话都没有说,呵呵。继续讨论。 |
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