10-7作文

zhengping001UID: 2689322

10.7 Technology causechildren show less creative than they were in past.

An increasing thenumber of intelligence and creativity children as the rapid developing technology or science. Some hold the position that nowadays owning to science children will show less creative than the past. Contrary to the point hold bythose people, I authentically agree with the standpoint that the development of science or technology will play positive role on the children education and help
children to grow the creativity and other skills.

Admittedly, in virtue of the industrial revolution, many precursors or inventors invented a greatdeal of new things. There are more advantageous condition to bring upchildren's creative ability than the past. Take equipment or instrument as anexample. Anywhere at school or home children will need some toys or tools toempolder the operated skill, because these toys or new things containing somenew technique and tips might be able to broaden the horizon of children. If without these equipments or instruments, children will attain few chances fromtheir teachers or classmates.

Nevertheless, because of the advanced and complicated technology and science, some individuals who beshort of self-control ability or consciousness more would like to accept otherconception, not finding out the actual answers by themselves. Although technology or science has some little spots to the education of child, the undeniable fact demonstrates that it's more benefit than the past.

Furthermore, the advanced technology also provide children a wider platform to touch more newthings, such as Blog not only it will make them more creative than before, but also them will gain more opportunities to show their ideas or thought. Owe to the newly development of technological science, especially the Internet, itoffer a new platform and widely broaden horizon of children. They can surfon-line to seek the scientific invention and tips. Those new things will help children to explore the unknown-problems improving their creative capability.In addition, they can attain a great deal of information from line.

To sum up, much advantage of technology will help children in their learning way, so I ampermanent standing the point that technology causes children to be more creative than before.

doubledianUID: 2661760

本帖最后由 zhengping001 于 2009-10-8 09:15 编辑 , O% a9 x( V1 D7 D0 R' B8 j- T
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10.7 Technology cause children show less creative than they were in past.
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An increasing the number of intelligence and creativity children as the rapid developing technology or science.（第一句我有点看不懂，不好意思） Some hold the position that nowadays owning to science children will （去掉）show less creative than the past. Contrary to the point hold bythose（other） people, I authentically agree with the standpoint that the development of science or technology will play positive role on the children education and help; [1 k: y5 c* X  e  K1 @
children to grow the creativity and other skills.


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Admittedly, in virtue of the industrial revolution, many precursors or inventors invented a greatdeal of new things. There are more advantageous condition（复数） to bring upchildren's creative ability than the past. Take equipment or instrument as an example. Anywhere at school or home children will need some toys or tools to empolder（拼写错误） the operated skill, because these toys or new things containing somenew technique and tips might be able to broaden the horizon of children. If without these equipments or instruments, children will attain few chances fromtheir teachers or classmates.



Nevertheless, because of the advanced and complicated technology and science, some individuals who be short of self-control ability or consciousness more would like to accept other conception, not finding out the actual answers by themselves. Although technology or science has some little spots to the education of child, the undeniable fact demonstrates that it's more benefit than the past.


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Furthermore, the advanced technology also provide children a wider platform to touch more new things, such as Blog not only it will make them more creative than before, but also them（为什么是宾格啊？） will gain more opportunities to show their ideas or thought. Owe to the newly development of technological science, especially the Internet, it  offer（加s） a new platform and widely broaden horizon of children. They can surfon-line to seek the scientific invention and tips. Those new things will help children to explore the unknown-problems improving their creative capability. In addition, they can attain a great deal of information from line.
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To sum up, much advantage of technology will help children in their learning way, so I ampermanent standing the point that technology causes children to be more creative than before.
我感觉我读不懂这篇文章，可能是因为我的英文水平比较差吧，不过观点还是很明确的，真是很抱歉啊，我就改出了点小错误，改也不尽完美，要是有改得不对的地方还请谅解，因为我的作文水平确实比较次！记得帮我改作文，辛苦了

如是_ivyUID: 2704554

An increasing the number of intelligence and creativity children as the rapid developing technology or science. 这句话语法有问题吧。你是不是要表达as the rapid developing technology or science, 孩子的创造力和智力都得到了提升的意思啊。你的主句好混乱。Some hold the position that nowadays owning to science children will show less creative than the past. Contrary to the point hold by those people, I authentically agree with the standpoint that the development of science or technology will play a positive role on the children education and help children to不用to grow the 用their好一点 creativity and other skills.

Admittedly, in virtue of the industrial revolution, many precursors or inventors invented a great deal of new things. There are more advantageous condition to bring up children's creative ability than the past. Take equipment or instrument as an example. Anywhere at school or home children will need some toys or tools to empolder the operated skill, because these toys or new things containing somenew technique and tips might be able to broaden the horizon of children. If without these equipments or instruments, children will attain few chances from their teachers or classmates.这段写的不错，建议你在开头的时候写个中心句吧，显得整体的线清晰一点

Nevertheless, because of the advanced and complicated technology and science, some individuals who be short of self-control ability or consciousness more would like to accept other conception, not finding out the actual answers by themselves. Although technology or science has some little spots to the education of child, the undeniable fact demonstrates that it's more benefit than the past.

Furthermore, the advanced technology also provide children a wider platform to touch more newthings, such as Blog not only it will make them more creative than before, but also them will gain more opportunities to show their ideas or thought. OweOwing吧 to the newly development of technological science, especially the Internet, it offers a new platform and widely broaden horizon这个跟第一点的用法重复了。建议把前面的换成widen the scopes of knowledge吧 of children. They can surfon-line to seek the scientific invention and tips. Those new things will help children to explore the unknown-problems improving their creative capability.In addition, they can attain a great deal of information from line.怎么这段又回去写好了呢？建议你一致性的观点表达完了再表达反面的。建议这段放到第二段去

To sum up, much advantage of technology will help children in their learning way, so I ampermanent standing the point that technology causes children to be more creative than before.
你应该是考完G再考T的吧，我米有考过G，不知道issue咋写，但是要是你要表达两面的观点的话，还是尽量把一方面写完了再写另一方面。

如是_ivyUID: 2704554

An increasing the number of intelligence and creativity children as the rapid developing technology or science. 这句话语法有问题吧。你是不是要表达as the rapid developing technology or science, 孩子的创造力和智力都得到了提升的意思啊。你的主句好混乱。Some hold the position that nowadays owning to science children will show less creative than the past. Contrary to the point hold by those people, I authentically agree with the standpoint that the development of science or technology will play a positive role on the children education and help children to不用to grow the 用their好一点 creativity and other skills.

Admittedly, in virtue of the industrial revolution, many precursors or inventors invented a great deal of new things. There are more advantageous condition to bring up children's creative ability than the past. Take equipment or instrument as an example. Anywhere at school or home children will need some toys or tools to empolder the operated skill, because these toys or new things containing somenew technique and tips might be able to broaden the horizon of children. If without these equipments or instruments, children will attain few chances from their teachers or classmates.这段写的不错，建议你在开头的时候写个中心句吧，显得整体的线清晰一点

Nevertheless, because of the advanced and complicated technology and science, some individuals who be short of self-control ability or consciousness more would like to accept other conception, not finding out the actual answers by themselves. Although technology or science has some little spots to the education of child, the undeniable fact demonstrates that it's more benefit than the past.

Furthermore, the advanced technology also provide children a wider platform to touch more newthings, such as Blog not only it will make them more creative than before, but also them will gain more opportunities to show their ideas or thought. OweOwing吧 to the newly development of technological science, especially the Internet, it offers a new platform and widely broaden horizon这个跟第一点的用法重复了。建议把前面的换成widen the scopes of knowledge吧 of children. They can surfon-line to seek the scientific invention and tips. Those new things will help children to explore the unknown-problems improving their creative capability.In addition, they can attain a great deal of information from line.怎么这段又回去写好了呢？建议你一致性的观点表达完了再表达反面的。建议这段放到第二段去

To sum up, much advantage of technology will help children in their learning way, so I ampermanent standing the point that technology causes children to be more creative than before.
你应该是考完G再考T的吧，我米有考过G，不知道issue咋写，但是要是你要表达两面的观点的话，还是尽量把一方面写完了再写另一方面。

如是_ivyUID: 2704554

对了，顺便帮我改下7号的作文吧。谢谢了~~
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