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标题: melodyskiing之作文贴 [打印本页]
作者: MELODYSKIING 时间: 2010-8-30 16:13:36 标题: melodyskiing之作文贴
今天开始加入Daily Writing逼自己写啊
欢迎大家拍
加油加油！！
作者: MELODYSKIING 时间: 2010-8-30 16:19:05
本帖最后由 MELODYSKIING 于 2010-8-30 16:22 编辑
这是我第一次写TOEFL essay...没有限时,写了近两个小时，汗！语言还挺高中的吧……
望大家狂拍！谢谢！
（PS请问怎么传附件呢？如WORD文档）
8-30
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Some people think making sure that others (influential people or potential employers) know about your strengths and accomplishments can help you succeed, if you do not do this, you won’t have a successful life.
You may have come across someone complaining: "How can he fire me? He can hardly recognize how worthy I am!" Indeed, it is not all the boss's fault. In my opinion, he/she should take up the responsibility for missing a step, which is essential to succeed -- making sure that others know about your strengths and accomplishments.
Exposing your strengths and accomplishments to others may bring you more chances to succeed. To find an employment, you have to convince the potential employer that you are competent for the position by listing and explaining your advantages and achievements, just like selling goods. My cousin sister failed to get a job with her first resume. But after modifying her resume according to the advisor, removing the ordinary hobbies and highlighting her strengths for the job, she received three offers and finally stepped in the accounting firm her longed for. Having got a dream job, to an extent, is getting an opportunity to succeed.
What if starting your own business or studying academical problems? It is just the same, although these job seems to be more independent. We are now living in the information era, in which information greatly influences our decisions. Getting the recognition of your business or academic partners, you may get up-dated information while chatting or sharing, which may help you a lot in career. Moreover, by exposing nice qualities, one can make deeper impressions on others or even win appreciation. As a result, they will feel like chatting, cooperating and studying with you.
However, making sure others know about your strengths and accomplishments means not only introducing your strong qualities, but also showing these strong points in work. Otherwise, your demonstration will just gain hatred and destroy confidence.
To be successful, you need not only strengths and accomplishments but also the recognitions of them. In brief, I insist on the opinion that making sure that others know about your strengths and accomplishments can help you succeed, otherwise you won't have a successful life.
作者: chenyyalex 时间: 2010-8-31 10:34:12
提示: 作者被禁止或删除 内容自动屏蔽
作者: MELODYSKIING 时间: 2010-8-31 19:12:55
谢谢！
作者: MELODYSKIING 时间: 2010-8-31 21:01:09
8-31
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
Parents should allow children to make their own choices rather than determine their children’s future for them.
Many parents prefer to determine their children's future according to their wills and life experience, for they regard it as the best access to success. However, I hold the opinion that parents should allow children to make their own choices rather than select future for them.
Children, although they are young and lack experience, should have rights to determine their future for the reason that it belongs to them but not their parents, after all. Admittedly, the intension of parents is undoubtedly good. What the parents consider perfect, however, may be dull and boring in the kids' eyes. Since they are not living in the same era and consider problems from different aspects, they will go into to dissimilar opinions. Parents are likely to regard stable jobs as the best while children may prefer challenging work, instead. Perhaps what parents interested in can hardly attract their kids. William Gates, a lawyer in Seattle, for instance, designed a perfect access for his son Bill Gates -- becoming a lawyer after graduating from Harvard Law School. Nevertheless, Bill Gates was crazy about computer rather than law.
Furthermore, children benefits a lot from making choices by themselves. They have to think about a number of problems and even go into investigation. In order to select a major, a kid need to gather a great deal of information. Am I suitable for doing science research or studying art? What is the development of this major now? How is the employment situation? All these problems should be taken into consideration. Such process will strengthen one's ability in solving problems. Also, he have to learn to take up responsibility for his decision, which is a indispensable virtue. On the other hand, if parents take place of children to design their future, kids may lose an opportunity to think about their own life. They are also easier to find an excuse to give up.
What parents should do is to guide their children, provide advice and help to collect information. All in all, kids are kids. They are not so mature as adults while considering problems and they lack experience. As a result, they need parents help. Some suggestions may play an important role in choosing. But don't forget the final decision ought to be made by children themselves.
It is children that live their future life, not anyone else so that I insist that children should be allowed to design their own future.
第二篇 求拍..历时1H 407词...
逐渐缩短作文时间中……
PS 求教上传附件！！
作者: minnielily 时间: 2010-9-1 11:32:17
个人意见，仅供参考哈，请回改~谢谢
多灌水攒够分就能传附件了，很快的
作者: MELODYSKIING 时间: 2010-9-1 11:49:53
谢谢！已回改
作者: MELODYSKIING 时间: 2010-9-1 20:57:40
这个那个，我终于写完了。巨烂无比…还是放上来吧…求拍...下次再也不写it depends的了
Some people hold the opinion that governments should donate more money on health-care issues in order to improve health condition while others argue that environmental problems should be paid more attention. In my opinion, however, both health-care issues and environmental issues need the
Health-care issues, which related directly to the healthy condition, would definitely need enough attention. The support of the governments promotes the development of health care and medical science. Let's take Japan, where government donate a great deal of money to develop health-care, for example. Japanese usually get married late and give birth to children even over 45, but as we known, baring babies over 38 years old is considered dangerous. Owing to the advanced technique, however, pregnant women at an advanced age in Japan are seldom afraid of dystocia. On the other hand, many women in Africa lost their lives giving birth to their children because of the poor medical technique.
The people can benefit a lot from the promotion of health-care in short term, indeed. Nevertheless, solving environmental problems, which may cause different kinds of diseases, brings long-term benefit. With the development, a lot of environmental problems arose and brought types of diseases. For instance, after having fish from the sea, into which factories poured water pollutant with mercury, villagers trembled, screamed and finally jumped into the sea. Cleaning up the water prevents cholera. Controlling the air pollution may decrease the possibility to get cough. As a result, environmental issues cannot be little accounted of.
In brief, neither health-care issues nor environmental issues can be ignored. They need almost equal attention.
作者: niunian 时间: 2010-9-1 21:07:51
本帖最后由 niunian 于 2010-9-1 21:11 编辑
8.31 改好了 请回改 10楼
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1145335&extra=&page=1
作者: stoptalking 时间: 2010-9-2 13:55:13
9.1改好了
求回改~
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1142754&pid=1774323914&page=4&extra=
另外，楼主到寄托新兵等级后就可以上传附件啦
作者: MELODYSKIING 时间: 2010-9-2 20:39:43
9-2独立..欢迎拍砖
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
It is more important for the government to spend money on art museums and concert halls than on recreational facilities such as swimming pools and playgrounds.
Both art museums and recreational facilities such as swimming pools and playgrounds are public facilities, but which is worthy of more investment from the government? Different people hold different opinions. From my point of view, government should spend more money on art museums and concert halls than on recreational facilities.
As public facilities to exhibit art works, art museums and concert halls are definitely needed. Since music can relax and even pure one's mind and art works can cultivate ones characteristic, concert halls and art museums are places to exercise one's mind. Governments can never neglect the effect of mind exercise, which may protect people from suffering from mental diseases and prevent them committing crime. Furthermore, art museums and concert halls not only provide a place for populace to enjoy art, but also exhibit the artistic level, even the civil quality of a city or a country. Art works displayed in the museum reveal the history and culture of one country. After listening to African music, we may have an emotional recognition that Africa is a place full of vigor. Traveling to a new country, we would like to visit the museums in order to get more knowledge about it. In all, art museums and concerts are symbols of a country.
What about recreational facilities? Dissimilar from art museums and concert halls, they provides a place for body building. Government donates more money on museums and concert halls instead of recreational facilities, which does not mean that body building is less important. As individuals have the ability to construct a swimming pool, a tennis court and many clubs will provide playgrounds and golf courses, however, there is no need for governments to spend money on them. The responsibility of the government is to accomplish something that cannot be done by individuals and enterprises, but necessary. On the contrary, it is hard for individuals to build a museum or a concert halls, let along to say to run it well.
Based on the reasons above, I insist that governments should spend more money on art museums and concert halls and encourage individuals and enterprises to construct recreation facilities.
作者: louisa427 时间: 2010-9-2 23:42:16
9/1/2010,independent writing
作者: superchaos 时间: 2010-9-3 12:36:32
作文给你改好啦……
作者: belinda_777 时间: 2010-9-3 19:35:22
我也改好了哦
作者: MELODYSKIING 时间: 2010-9-3 22:52:35
12# louisa427 谢谢！
PS take sth. for example 与 take sth as an example 同义为“ 以XX为例”
作者: MELODYSKIING 时间: 2010-10-6 23:18:48
The are two hypothesises to explain the decline of the number of sea otter recent years. The reading passage prefers the pollution hypothesis,which points out that the cause of the decline is water pollution, while the lecture supports the predator hypothesis, which believes it is the predators kill sea otters.
The author points out that the chemical pollutants like oil rigs which reduce sea otters' ability to resist infections have been found in the water sample of Alaska Coast. They may cause the death of sea otters. The professor, however, gives out the evidence that no dead sea otters have been found on and off the shore, which is a good factor to demonstrate the predator hypothesis. If otters are killed by pollution, dead bodies can be found near the coast. On the contrary, killed by predator, otters bodies will definitely disappear.
The author regards the declining number of sea lions and seals as an example to support the pollution hypothesis. Only widely occurring predator, such as orca, which prefers big animals like whales though, can cause the same effect. The professor argues that as whales disappears from the coast due to human hunting, orcas are fed by smaller animals like seals and sea otters.
As for the author, only the pollution hypothesis can give out the perfect illustration of the uneven pattern of the declining population of sea otters. The professor believes that the predator hypothesis can also explain it well. Since orcas are big, they can hardly get access to the shallow water and rocky place in which the number of sea otters is stable. And the population of sea otters decreases rapidly in the accessible place.
作者: S酱 时间: 2010-10-7 00:43:11
16# MELODYSKIING
作者: MELODYSKIING 时间: 2010-10-7 11:17:48
17# S酱 谢谢!
作者: 米爆爆 时间: 2010-10-7 12:03:22
你的比我的好多了。
55....虽然有些小问题。但你写的还是不错啦。能抓住内容来写。
作者: MELODYSKIING 时间: 2012-1-18 11:20:11
本帖最后由 MELODYSKIING 于 2012-1-18 22:21 编辑
1.18Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? We should never be impolite to another person.
Parents often told us to be polite to others, to say hello to aunts and uncles initiatively, offering help to friends, using polite words such as “Thank you” and “Please”, apologizing when we do something wrong. The polite manner reflects one's good personality. Gentleman will never be impolite although they may be angry about the person. Similarly, we should never be impolite to another person as well, even though the person may cheat us, betray us or do harm to us.
Polite manner shows our respect to others. Respect is of fundamental importance in the communication of others. We make friends and sign contracts based on trust and respect. Universally acknowledged that students should respect their teachers; children should respect their parents; staffs should respect their leader. On the other hand, a boss must respect his or her clients and a judge should respect the criminal, as well. We should not be impolite to others for the excuse that they are younger or on the lower level. Besides, we may also benefit from our politeness to others. When we ask our colleague for help, we can say "Would you please help me print out these documents?" or "Print them out for me!" The former one is more polite, which is in the tongue of asking while the later one is a bit rude, which is in a command manner. Obviously, my colleague will be happier to hear the former one, especially when I am not the boss. As a result, she will be glad to help me and I can get the documents faster, even in high quality.
There is no doubt that we ought to be kind to the one who are kind to us. Sometimes, however, people may betray us or cheat us, making us angry or upset. We should be polite to those who do harm to us, as well. As the Confucius' saying goes, "Treat the person who is kind to you with kind heart and treat the person who is bad to you objectively." Being polite is the basic manner in the conversation with others, which is nothing to do with the way how others treat us. We can oppose their opinions and have the rights to get angry about their behaviors. Nevertheless, we should always treat them in a polite manner with expectation, as we are all human beings, who have the right to require respect. We might hate and criticize the thieves, but we should treat them in the polite manner on the trial.
In conclusion, as politeness is a way to show respect, no matter whether one is younger or in a lower level and no matter whether he or she is kind to us, we should NEVER be impolite to another person.
作者: idealibt 时间: 2012-1-19 09:34:58
[attach]174182[/attach]
作者: MELODYSKIING 时间: 2012-1-20 10:06:21
21# idealibt Thank you for your correction!!:)
作者: MELODYSKIING 时间: 2012-1-20 12:47:18
被打断了，连起来，大概写了45min超时，于是也比较长~~求拍...
1.20Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should allow their children to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes.
"Don't eat more than 3 oranges at a time!"“Don't put off the preparation of the exam until the night before it" Have your parents cried to you like this? Do you get tired of it? You doubt parents' theories and want to know whether you will really get stomachache after having 4 oranges at a time, don't you? Parents are worried or even afraid that we will make mistakes, so they tell us a lot of "DON'T"s. Children, however, should have the opportunities to make mistakes so that they can learn from it. Children who are allowed to make mistakes will be stronger when they face failures and difficulties and they will, moreover, be braver to try new things.
Being allowed to make mistakes, children will come to realize the bad outcomes of their inappropriate behaviors by themselves, which leaves them so deep an impression that they won't do it again. A child may not believe what you have told him, but he will believe his own experience. Mother told her child to take an umbrella, which he thinks too heavy. He gets sick after showering in the rain, for he did not have an umbrella.
Mistakes provide children with chances to sustain difficulties. We make a mistake and then we will be punished or suffer from its outcome. Mistakes teach children to take responsibility for their own behaviors. From mistakes, kids will gradually get aware of the importance of carefulness. They may come to realize that before making decision, one should consider the possible consequences, weighing the benefits and harm.
Furthermore, the forbidden of making mistakes from parents will lead to kids' scare of mistakes, which may prevent them from exploration. On the contrary, children who have the opportunities to make mistakes are often more courageous to try new things and more creative. We may come across mistakes in the way of exploration, in which we are not sure what will happen in the next minute. It is hard for us to make perfect decision, which can avoid faults successfully, by little knowledge about the new features. We should, nevertheless, have the courage to do experiments. The inventor of Coca Cola mixed different kinds of things together. He could hardly imagine the taste of those kinds of things mixed and thus he was not sure whether it is delicious or not. If he was afraid of making mistakes, however, he would never try, let alone to get chances to invent such nice and popular drink. As a result, parents should allow their children to make mistakes. Instead, they should encourage them to try some new or unproved methods.
Considering the reasons above, parents should allow their children to make faults. However, of course, parents should tell their children some basic moral rules, which is the prerequisite of their behaviors. Besides, they should make some rules in order to prevent some big disasters, which cannot be correct easily. Parents, for instance, should never allow their kids try to play on the road, which may result in a terrible traffic accident.
作者: MELODYSKIING 时间: 2012-1-20 16:39:53
上篇被拍烂了...在墙角蹲了一会，把明天的也写了...有木有好些？
1.21 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? To make children to well at school, parents should limit the hour that a child spends on watching TV. Use specific reasons to support your answer. (412)
Considering watching TV as a waste of time, some parents limit the hour that a child spends on it. Watching TV, however, will not definitely lead to the bad behavior at school. On the contrary, it may play a positive role in study. That is why I do oppose to such method.
Television, as an outstanding invention of modern mass media, provides a great deal of information to the audience, which can be great learning materials. From Discovery, we can learn theories by scientific stories. From Law and Life, we get some knowledge about law and crimes. Dissimilar to the traditional classes-- teachers lecturing and students listening, television creates a different learning style that students can select what to learn by their own. Hundreds of channels are displayed on TV, everyone, owning different hobbies can find their dishes. Mary, who loves dancing, can choose the sport channel. George, who is interested in astronomy, will change to the science channel. Furthermore, the information on TV is more relevant to real life, such as news, opinions and talk shows. As a result, students can apply what they have learned to life directly, which might encourage them to explore the world.
Besides, relaxation plays a crucial role in well-being. It is generally acknowledged that we should relax after working for a period of time. Researchers found out that it is hard for one to focus on one subject for more than 4 hours and our efficiency gets lower and lower. Relaxation will boost our efficiency. Television, offering all kinds of music, talk shows, cartoons and interesting TV series like BING BANG THEORY, which is quite popular now, is a wonderful way for entertainment. Children, after a day tired studying, ought to relax for a while.
Moderation, however, is an important concept. Being addicted to television, children might be ruined. Limiting the hours for TV is an approach to prevent children from addicting to TV, yet it is not the best one, because DON'Ts are not able to eliminate their crazy love for TV. Parents should let kids make their own plan, to decide how many hours to spend on watching TV per day. By this mean, kids have to weigh the importance of study and TV shows. They will then realize it is unwise to stick to TV series. Also it might cultivate their ability of self-control. As a result, it is more effective to let kids plan themselves instead of setting limitations for them.
作者: MELODYSKIING 时间: 2012-1-21 09:00:32
alexfanfan童鞋1.20作文修改过，请改这篇吧~~~
1.20Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should allow their children to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes.
"Don't eat more than 3 oranges at a time!"“Don't put off the preparation of the exam until the last minute" Have your parents cried to you like this? Do you ever get tired of it? Parents are worried and afraid of their children making mistakes, so they tell us a lot of "DON'T"s. Children, however, should have their opportunities to make mistakes so that they can learn from failure. Children who are allowed to make mistakes will have less trouble to undergo frustration and difficulties and they will be braver to try new stuffs.
By making mistakes, it will be much easier for children to realize the bad outcomes of their inappropriate behaviors by themselves, which keeps him from doing the wrong again. A child may not believe what adults told him, but what he has experienced.
Mistakes provide children with chances to face difficulties. We make a mistake and then we will be punished or suffer from its outcome. Children can to be responsible for their own behaviors from mistakes. In another word, mistakes will gradually increase children’s awareness of the importance of being caution. They may come to realize that before making decision, one should consider the possible consequences, weighing the benefits and harm.
Furthermore, children may lose their courage to explore and try new things if their parents continue to keep them from making mistakes. On the contrary, those who have the opportunities to make mistakes are often more brave to try new gadgets and more creative in solving problems. We may come across mistakes in the way of exploration, in which we are not sure what will happen in the next minute. It is hard for us to make perfect decision, which can avoid faults successfully, by little knowledge about the new features. We should, nevertheless, have the courage to do experiments. Coca Cola was invented by mixing random materials together accidently. It is hard to imagine the superior taste of that random mixture before the attempt. If he was afraid of making mistakes, however, he would never try, let alone to get chances to invent such nice and popular drink. As a result, rather than prohibiting their children from make mistakes, parents should encourage children to try new methods and explore uncharted area.
Considering the reasons above, parents should allow their children to make faults. However, basic moral rules should be taught to children before their curious exploration. Besides, they should make some rules in order to prevent unexpected tragedy Parents, for instance, should never allow their kids try to play on the road, which may result in a terrible traffic accident.
作者: alexfanfan 时间: 2012-1-21 22:45:23
25# MELODYSKIING
真不好意思 今天都在医院里 外公住院了
明天一定给你改！
谢谢你今天给我改的！
作者: alexfanfan 时间: 2012-1-23 00:01:25
Thank you & Happy New Year
作者: MELODYSKIING 时间: 2012-2-3 18:38:09
本帖最后由 MELODYSKIING 于 2012-2-3 18:40 编辑
感觉好烂啊！！写太长了><!!!!!!不管了
2月3日 110815NA One of your classmates needs help with some schoolwork. Which solution would you recommend your classmate should do: to ask you for help or to find a professional tutor for help. Include reasons and details to in your response.
When come across difficulties in schoolwork, one has two possible solutions: turning to classmates for help or directly ask a professional tutor for advice. Kind-hearted classmates who are happy to discuss the schoolwork with me may not be capable to solve my confusion. The professional tutor is generally more familiar with the topic. However, it is embarrassed if I ask silly questions which have been illustrated clearly in class. Considering the pros and cons of both solutions, the final choice depends on the specific difficulties in his schoolwork.
If the problem you face is about basic elements that mentioned in class, such as missing several points owing to his absence or unclear about the specific requirement of the homework, discussing with classmates is highly recommended. You share notes in order to modify notes by adding missing points. It is much more convenient than consulting the tutor for he doesn't attend the class. What's more, peers enjoy exchanging their views, some of which may be really inspiring and help to improve the understanding of what is learned. Besides, you have chances to gain something out of class but tightly related to your schoolwork, like network. For instance, in the discussion of the assignment in psychology class, which requires us to observe a child and write a report, classmates will not only talk about the research method but also the resources--how to find children for observation.
On the other hand, if you are puzzled with the understanding of theories, which are not clarified in class, or some advanced questions, a professional tutor will be far more beneficial to him. Definition, theories and principles are basic elements of learning. Peers, indeed, may know the definition, yet it may be vague in that they are unfamiliar with it, as well. And the vague understanding is likely to mislead you or put you in confusion. Once after the philosophy class, I asked my classmate about the definition of INTRINSIC GOOD, which just mentioned in class without clear clarification. Rather than drag me out from the puzzle, their answers, which were different, even contradictory to each other, left me more confused. On the contrary, with the help of deeper understanding as well as practical experiences of the terms and theories, the tutor, who is the senior or graduate student in the realm, is capable to provide not only precise definition, but also examples in application, which play a positive role in understanding. Furthermore, you can also get some learning tips and academic suggestions in the talk with the tutor, such as research approaches or efficient methods in note taking. When it comes to the advanced questions, classmates are usually incapable to help, even though they may sometimes provide some inspiring or even exciting opinions. The most efficient way is to discuss with the tutor.
In brief, one can benefit from a lot from peer discussion in the field of basic elements in class and assignments. Meanwhile, it is better to consult a professional tutor when facing advanced questions or having difficulty in understanding theories.
作者: MELODYSKIING 时间: 2012-2-3 21:30:00
本帖最后由 MELODYSKIING 于 2012-2-4 12:29 编辑
2月4日 100619NA When people need to discuss upsetting or controversial problems with others, some people prefer to use e-mail or text messaging, other like to use telephone or voice messaging. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons to support your answer.
（这怎么还是很像口语题！！还是写得很烂啊！！！）早上起来改了一改，感觉好些~~求拍！ ^^
When we come across difficulties and tough problems, we would like to turn to family or friends for comfort. The best way is to talk with them face to face, pouring out upsetting problems. They pat us on the back, give advices and encourage us to keep on. However, parents or bosom friends may be far away from us. As a result, we have to discuss problems with the help of telecommunication, using e-mail and text message, or talking via telephone and voice message. I prefer to discuss the difficulties via telephone because I am anxious when facing problems and text cannot.
As far as I am concerned, discussing upsetting or controversial problems by email or text messaging is inefficient. Facing controversial problems, I always drop into anxiety. So anxious am I that I can hardly calm down to organize a long message, stating my point clearly. I need someone to help me figure out the solutions. If I am able to illustrate the problem clearly and list the advantages and disadvantages of all the solutions, I won't be upset. Also, it is impossible for me to demonstrate the problem in one or two sentences because I am at a mess with different ideas fighting in my brain. Typing really bother me for I type rather slowly. In addition, parents or friends may not check their email and massage box every minute so that I have to wait for reply. Waiting, however, is really suffering for me when trapped in trouble. I want to get advices and solve the problems as soon as possible.
What's more important, text messages are too pale to convey my anxiety and upset feeling. The course of communication is divided into three procedure: message coding, sending to the receiver, message decoding. Lots of information may be lost in this course, especially in the discussion of emotion. People are not good at organizing words when they are upset or anxious. Instead, they will sponteneously use nonverbal signs to show their feelings. Without the nonverbal signs, such as body gestures, sounds, facial expressions, which play a significant role in communication, the receiver may decode the message in a wrong way, resulting in a misunderstanding. Once I left a text message to my friend after I break up with my boyfriend, saying "I am in despair!". She thought I was just a bit sad, even though I used the word "despair". Actually, I was so upset that I even consider suiside. Even though we can use text expressions, such as :), :< or T^T to convey our emotion, they are still pale compared to the voice. With the help of sounds, the listener can easily perceive my emotion. They may catch my anxiety by my nervous voice and feel my sadness by my sobs. Likewise, it is also easier for me to feel comfort from their soft voices.
In brief, as emails and text messages are inefficient and too pale in conveying emotions, I would definitely prefer to phone my parents or friends to discuss controversial problems.
作者: wqr619 时间: 2012-2-3 22:11:31
大赞Lz的文~~~
求LZ改作文~~~
作者: 厄先生 时间: 2012-2-3 22:31:14
28# MELODYSKIING
lz 叫我来改你的作文。。简直我都不好意思下笔改。。向lz 学习。。。
作者: kikyou_lr 时间: 2012-2-4 08:32:23
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... p;extra=&page=5
我的交晚了不好意思
作者: 厄先生 时间: 2012-2-4 09:36:53
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1330782-1-1.html 是要这样交吗？
作者: kikyou_lr 时间: 2012-2-4 09:39:44
[attach]174449[/attach]
修改的见附件
作者: MELODYSKIING 时间: 2012-2-4 11:45:47
34# kikyou_lr thank you for your correction!
1、谢谢指出人称混乱问题，因为我后来才把he改成you，有些地方就漏了改
2、in that 表示因为……不是分开的
3、呵呵……你说我偏题了，我也说你偏题了，看来我们对题目的理解确实有点偏差...不过第二段我写得确实不够严密，谢谢啦^^
4、leave sb. + adj.（个人觉得好句子，分享之~）
继续加油~~
作者: MELODYSKIING 时间: 2012-2-4 12:04:31
33# 厄先生 不用吧……ms贴到daily writing那里就好了~~已回改~~
作者: nimaoerzxy 时间: 2012-2-5 00:09:50
29# MELODYSKIING
When we come across difficulties and tough problems, we would like to turn to family or friends for comfort. The best way is to talk with them face to face, pouring out upsetting problems. They(我觉得这个加个would 语气会更好) pat us on the back, give advices and encourage us to keep on. However, parents or bosom friends may be far away from us. (这里单纯说家人和朋友会远离我们有点生硬， 加上by various reasons , 家人和朋友会因为种种原因远离我们)As a result, we have to discuss problems with the help of telecommunication, using e-mail and text message, or talking via telephone and voice message. I prefer to discuss the difficulties via telephone because I am anxious when facing problems and text cannot（cannot 什么？ 应该是cannot solves such problems ）.; ; l, U6 H a% g$ j
As far as I am concerned, discussing upsetting or controversial problems by email or text messaging is inefficient. Facing controversial problems, I always drop into anxiety. So anxious am I that I can hardly（merely， virtually） calm down to organize a long message, stating my point clearly. I need someone to help me figure out the solutions. If I am able to illustrate the problem clearly and list the advantages and disadvantages of all the solutions, I won't be upset. Also, it is impossible for me to demonstrate the problem in （only）one or two sentences because I am（would be 语气不要太绝对） at a mess with different ideas fighting in my brain.（这句很好哦！尤其是fighting in my brain 生动） Typing really bother me for I type rather slowly. In addition, parents or friends may not check their email and massage box every minute so that I have to wait for reply. Waiting, however, is really suffering for me when trapped in trouble. I want to get advices and solve the problems as soon as possible.
What's more important, text messages are too pale to convey my anxiety and upset feeling. The course of communication is divided into three procedures: message coding, sending to the receiver, message decoding. Lots of information may be lost in this course, especially in the discussion of emotion. People are not good at organizing words when they are upset or anxious. Instead, they will sponteneously（spontaneously ） use nonverbal signs to show their feelings. Without the nonverbal signs, such as body gestures, sounds, facial expressions, which play a significant role in communication, the receiver may decode the message in a wrong way, resulting in a misunderstanding. Once I left a text message to my friend after I break up with my boyfriend, saying "I am in despair!". She thought I was just a bit sad, even though I used the word "despair". Actually, I was so upset that I even consider suiside.(a suicide ) Even though we can use text expressions, such as , :< or T^T to convey our emotion, they are still pale compared to the voice. With the help of sounds, the listener can easily perceive my emotion. They may catch my anxiety by my nervous voice and feel my sadness by my sobs. Likewise, it is also easier for me to feel comfort from their soft voices.
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In brief, as emails and text messages are inefficient and too pale in conveying emotions, I would definitely prefer to phone my parents or friends to discuss controversial (and upsetting) problems.
楼主用的词语和短语都很新 ~~~基本上挑不出什么大错，，不过我个人认为作为里面语气不要太绝对了 ，适当用一下 would ， maybe， 或者加强语气用 definitely 等等，
感觉第一段写的有点浅 不过也可以。 中间段不错而且值得我学习 论述的两个点用了反证法， 不说phone的好 反而写text的不好， 这样也挺新颖的。建议写五段， 结尾草率了点吧 。还有就是拼写。今天受教了！！加油！！
作者: MELODYSKIING 时间: 2012-2-6 12:26:53
2月6日 101009NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People can take care of their family members better when they live in big cities than in the countryside.
（这篇写了一个半小时，比较长，还是不知道怎么写结尾，仍求拍...）
In past decades, an increasing number of people manage to crowd into big cities which means more opportunities to success and better life quality. People used to view that living in big cities they can take care of their family better, since it is much easier to access to better medical care and better education. Nowadays, however, people take a fresh look on it. Individuals who bury themselves working have little or no spare time to play with children. Also, they can hardly afford the expense of medical care and school fees. High living cost obstacles individuals to take care of their family members.
In big cities, such as Beijing and Shanghai in China, living costs are really high. It costs about 10,000 for a kid to attend a common kindergarden for 4 years. So does medical care expenses. It costs more than 100 RMB for only a cold. Moreover, houses, necessities for a family, seem unaffordable for ordinary citizens. All these expenses force bread earners to work hard, adding loads to their shoulders. Big cities provide a lot more chances to make money, in deed, but Accompanying with the chances are competitions. They need to make tremendous efforts to earn money. As a result, parents are busy working, negotiating with clients. Working for extra time is just a daily case that they merely have no time to get together with family members. People may have little or no time to look after their sick children. Even when their parents pass away, a few people cannot get back home. Kids may be unhappy without the accompany of parents even though they have attained better education while parents may not be content if they cannot see their children all day long, even if they are billionaires. What's more, parents are essential to kids. It is likely for the kids who lack love, care and proper guidance to be wicked, dishonest or unreliable.
In the countryside, on the contrary, relatively poorer as they are, they enjoy times getting together with family members, which will definitely boost their happiness. Mother spends hours telling fairy tales to her little kids while father goes fishing or hunting with boys and teaches them skills. All family members have dinner around a long table, listening to grandfather's stories in his days. Living under the same roof, family members are able to take care of each other better. Children will not be alone when parents are at work. By the way, it is dangerous to leave kids at home because they are so curious that they might play fire or do some perilous experiments. Although the medical care in the countryside lags behind that in big cities, countryman are capable to cure some diseases using cheaper medicines or herbs, which is as effective as the expensive medicine. As we can see, most people in the countryside are living a healthy life. When it comes to serious illness, such as cancers or heart diseases, however, I commit that patients will get better treatment in big cities.
Based on the reasons above, in spite of rich resources in medical care, education and so forth, people in big cities do no better than the ones who stay in the countryside in taking care of family members.
作者: MELODYSKIING 时间: 2012-2-6 13:19:25
37# nimaoerzxy Thank you for your correction!!
准确拍砖！大谢！我也觉得我语气太绝对，而且总是不知道怎么结尾~学习学习！
作者: iBT20120304 时间: 2012-2-6 13:44:23
In past decades, an increasing number of people manage to crowd into big cities which means more opportunities to success and better life quality. People used to view that living in big cities they can take care of their family better, since it is much easier to access to better medical care and better education. Nowadays, however, people take a fresh look on it. Individuals who bury themselves working have little or no spare time to play with children. Also, they can hardly afford the expense of medical care and school fees. High living cost obstacles individuals to take care of their family members.
In big cities, such as Beijing and Shanghai in China, living costs are really high. It costs about 10,000 for a kid to attend a common kindergarden for 4 years. So does medical care expenses. It costs more than 100 RMB for only a cold. Moreover, houses, necessities for a family, seem unaffordable for ordinary citizens. All these expenses force bread earners to work hard, adding loads to their shoulders. Big cities provide a lot more chances to make money, in deed, but Accompanying with the chances are competitions. They need to make tremendous efforts to earn money. As a result, parents are busy working, negotiating with clients. Working for extra time is just a daily case that they merely have no time to get together with family members. People may have little or no time to look after their sick children. Even when their parents pass away, a few people cannot get back home. Kids may be unhappy without the accompany of parents even though they have attained better education while parents may not be content if they cannot see their children all day long, even if they are billionaires. What's more, parents are essential to kids. It is likely for the kids who lack love, care and proper guidance to be wicked, dishonest or unreliable.
* S5 O9 N4 J6 o0 |& ]. T
In the countryside, on the contrary, relatively poorer as they are, they enjoy times getting together with family members, which will definitely boost their happiness. Mother spends hours telling fairy tales to her little kids while father goes fishing or hunting with boys and teaches them skills. All family members have dinner around a long table, listening to grandfather's stories in his days. Living under the same roof, family members are able to take care of each other better. Children will not be alone when parents are at work. By the way, it is dangerous to leave kids at home because they are so curious that they might play fire or do some perilous experiments. Although the medical care in the countryside lags behind that in big cities, countryman are capable to cure some diseases using cheaper medicines or herbs, which is as effective as the expensive medicine. As we can see, most people in the countryside are living a healthy life. When it comes to serious illness, such as cancers or heart diseases, however, I commit that patients will get better treatment in big cities.7 P; I1 w9 L* ?
Based on the reasons above, in spite of rich resources in medical care, education and so forth, people in big cities do no better than the ones who stay in the countryside in taking care of family members.
楼主的文章充满佳词润句，令人佩服！
所有标绿的词汇，都是我在写作中没有用过的，现已被我一一收入囊中。多谢了哦！
作者: iBT20120304 时间: 2012-2-6 14:10:00
In past decades, an increasing number of people manage to crowd into big cities which means （我觉得此处用 due to 似乎更流畅呢，你觉得呢）more opportunities to success and better life quality. People used to view that living in big cities they can take care of their family better, since it is much easier to access to better medical care and better education. Nowadays, however, people take a fresh look on it. Individuals who bury themselves working have little or no spare time to play with children. Also, they can hardly afford the expense of medical care and school fees. High living cost obstacles individuals to take care of their family members（这几句话的语气似乎都太过绝对了哦。并非所有居住在城里的人们都忙得不可开交，仍有很多人可以支付起昂贵的医疗教育，也有很多人可以事业家庭兼顾）. * e) Q0 F A" t& O8 @4 k（（））
In big cities, such as Beijing and Shanghai in China, living costs are really high. It costs about 10,000 RMB？ for a kid to attend a common kindergarden for 4 years（4年才花10000元？每年2500元？即便是每年2500美元，老美可能也会觉得并不昂贵呀。）. So does medical care expenses. It costs more than 100 RMB for only a cold（对于很多美国人而言，他们应付感冒咳嗽发烧之类的小病，都只有三条，一多喝水，二多吃碳水化合物，忌油腻高蛋白，三多休息。除非危急生命的大病或紧急救助，他们可能并不如中国人那般，一生病就去吃药看医生。因此，你举这个例子，可能让他们无法理解哦）. Moreover, houses, necessities for a family, seem unaffordable for ordinary citizens （相当多的美国人连美国的副总统是谁都不知道，因此也很可能不了解太平洋另一边的中国，高房价高物价正在逼得鹅城百姓活得很苦。因此，这个例子可能他们也无法理解哦）. All these expenses force bread earners to work hard, adding loads to their shoulders. Big cities provide a lot more chances to make money, in deed, but Accompanying with the chances are competitions. They need to make tremendous efforts to earn money. As a result, parents are busy working, negotiating with clients. Working for extra time is just a daily case that they merely have no time to get together with family members（case后面的这半句，似乎略嫌重复多余，因前面已提及）. People may have little or no time to look after their sick children（并非所有忙碌的白领们的孩子都生病了）. Even when their parents pass away, a few people cannot get back home（can not get back home due to extremely heavy work load）. Kids may be unhappy without the accompany of parents even though they have attained better education while parents may not be content if they cannot see their children all day long, even if they are billionaires （您似乎很喜欢用长句子，然而我认为，长短结合最佳。此外，在用长句子时，最好能合理断句，否则读起来会较为费力）. What's more, parents are essential to kids. It is likely for the kids who lack love, care and proper guidance to be wicked, dishonest or unreliable. - [1 F9 D$ |7 w, M. t
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In the countryside, on the contrary, relatively poorer as they are, they enjoy times getting together with family members, which will definitely boost their happiness. Mother spends hours telling fairy tales to her little kids while father goes fishing or hunting with boys and teaches them skills. All family members have dinner around a long table, listening to grandfather's stories in his days. Living under the same roof, family members are able to take care of each other better. Children will not be alone when parents are at work（在农村，孩子也有可能是孤寂的。此处太过绝对。Children would be less likely to be alone.）. By the way, it is dangerous to leave kids at home because they are so curious that they might play fire or do some perilous experiments. Although the medical care in the countryside lags behind that in big cities, countryman are capable to cure some diseases using cheaper medicines or herbs, which is as effective as the expensive medicine. As we can see, most people in the countryside are living a healthy life. When it comes to serious illness, such as cancers or heart diseases, however, I commit that patients will get better treatment in big cities.: z: K1 C/ ?3 E5 H' F; x" b" N+ N
Based on the reasons above, in spite of rich resources in medical care, education and so forth, people in big cities do no better than the ones who stay in the countryside in taking care of family members.
楼主的英文功底很好，能将那么多好词汇生动地用到文章中去，且语法很棒，长句子一个接一个。
我个人觉得，楼主还可以在这几方面获得提高：一是举例子更加cogent，二是论证更加concise，三是充分考虑到中美之间的文化差异，因给您阅卷打分的肯定是一个美国人。
作者: iBT20120304 时间: 2012-2-6 14:11:10
楼主是否有时间，可否帮我看看我的一篇习作呢？非常感谢！
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1331543-1-1.html
作者: MELODYSKIING 时间: 2012-2-6 15:51:37
本帖最后由 MELODYSKIING 于 2012-2-6 15:54 编辑
第一次写综合……时态不知道怎么弄，有点混乱，求建议。
In the lecture, the professor is in favor of the "let it burn" policy for the reason that fire is natural phenomenon, which is good to the forest in spite that it does cause damages. This idea opposes the critics of policy in the reading passage.
Firstly, Yellowstone fires indeed led to significant distruction to the vegetation in the park, with a great numbers of plants died out, yet the burn of old plants provides opportunities for new plants. An increasing number of new plants emerged in the park. For instance, the fall of tall trees creates spaces for smaller plants,which needs sunlight. As a result, vegetation in Yellowstone park became increasingly diverse.
Secondly, contrary to the author's opinion that wildlife is unlikely to revive, owing to the destruction of habitats and the disruption of food chains, the professor claims that the animal population would certainly recover, even increase. The new plants such as shrubs create an ideal habitat for small animals like rabbits. Consequently, the population of their predators will increase, making the food chain more complicated and complete.
Finally, the professor commits that the fires indeed had a negative effect on the local economy which is mainly based on the tourism in short term. Nevertheless, she points out that such disaster is unusual. Actually, it did not happen again since 1988. With the vegetations and animals recovered, tourists will come back to the park next year and each year after that .Consequently,the fires won't harm the economy in long term.
作者: 紫梦于 时间: 2012-2-7 11:00:38
43# MELODYSKIING 楼主作文改好了，我等级不够发附件，把你的邮箱给我好吗？用的是word批注。。。
作者: MELODYSKIING 时间: 2012-2-7 13:18:46
44# 紫梦于 好 melodyskiing@gmail.com
作者: 紫梦于 时间: 2012-2-7 13:31:32
45# MELODYSKIING 已经发咯~
作者: idealibt 时间: 2012-2-7 14:41:53
[attach]174503[/attach]
作者: MELODYSKIING 时间: 2012-2-7 19:00:05
TPO 21 Integrated writing
In the reading passage, the author puts forth three major benefits of genetically modified trees: stronger to survive, bringing economic benefits and protecting wild trees, which are doubted by the professor in the lecture.
Firstly, the leture refutes the point that the genetic modification is able to ensure survival. Normal trees are generaly genetical diverse. That is to say, even if one kind of trees die out of virus, others can survive. On the contrary, the genetically modified tree is comparatively uniform. They are more likely to be wiped out when exposed to the environment they are not designed to resist. They are more vulnerable rather than harder. After all, environment is not to maintain the same.
Secondly, the professor points out that owing to the hidden costs, genetically modified trees can hardly bring economic benefits to tree farmers, which is different from the point in the reading passage. In addition to a higher price of seeds, the farmers have to pay the seed company everytime they plant it.Therefore,they can hardly get faster and greater economic return.
Finally, contrary to the author's opinion that the use of genetically modified trees help to protect the wild trees, the professor asserts that those trees will damage the local wild trees. Since the genetically modified trees which grows faster and more aggressive are planted among local wild trees, they are likely to out compete the other trees in catching water, sunlight and other nutritients. As a result, they will probably crowd out wild trees.
As the lecture states, genetically modified trees own several serious problems,despite the benefits.
作者: 紫梦于 时间: 2012-2-8 08:09:02
48# MELODYSKIING 请问。。。楼主帮我改的作文在哪呢？
作者: MELODYSKIING 时间: 2012-2-8 16:25:04
49# 紫梦于 抱歉改晚了吖~~~已经发到你作业贴下了~~><!!
作者: MELODYSKIING 时间: 2012-2-8 17:24:56
TPO 22
In the reading passage, to illustrate that ethanol is not a good alternative of gasoline, the author puts forth three reasons which are regarded unconvincing by the lecturer who believes that ethanol is a nice substitute for gasoline.
Firstly, the professor points out the use of ethanol will not increase carbon dioxide to the environment because the process of growing plants, such as corn and sugar cane, which are used to produce ethanol, conteracts the release of carbon dioxide. Actually, plants absorb carbon dioxide as their nutrition. Therefore, ethanol is more environmental friendly than gasoline.
Secondly, contrary to the point in the reading, the lecture holds the opinion that the production of ethanol will not reduce the source of food for animals, for ethanol can be produced by the parts which are not eaten by animals.
Finally, the professor admits that the tax subsidies are certainly needed today, yet he believes that the ethanol will be competitive in price in the future. As the demand for ethanol goes up, the factory will increase the production, which generally leads to a drop in price. In addition, research shows that if the production can be three times greater than now, the cost of ethanol per unit will drop 40%.
For the reasons above, the professor considers ethanol fuel as a good replacement for gaoline, which contradicts the opinion in the reading.
作者: 坏绿的眼睛 时间: 2012-2-9 07:25:08
我是和楼主不同组的路人
我表示和楼主这篇综合一比，我的那篇好像渣渣
51# MELODYSKIING
作者: loveinwc 时间: 2012-2-9 13:39:26
In the reading passage, to illustrate that ethanol is not a good alternative of gasoline, the author puts forth three reasons which are regarded unconvincing by the lecturer who believes that ethanol is a nice substitute for gasoline. （真心喜欢楼主的行文啊，大牛啊喵，就是第一段看着有点诡异喵，上来就说作者提出了三个教授觉得很搓的理由，我还以为下面要开始讲作者的理由了呢，结果第二段压根没专门提到萨囧~）
Firstly, the professor points out the use of ethanol will not increase carbon dioxide to the environment because the process of growing plants, such as corn and sugar cane, which are used to produce ethanol, conteracts（contracts？） the release of carbon dioxide. Actually, plants absorb carbon dioxide as their nutrition. Therefore, ethanol is more environmental friendly than gasoline.
Secondly, contrary to the point in the reading, the lecture（lecturer） holds the opinion that the production of ethanol will not reduce the source of food for animals, for（找了半天发现for后面应该跟名词啊…………汗，然后百度来了一段仅供参考……：for后面跟的是名词性从句，准确的说是（介词for之后的）宾语从句。有时候for也可以引导原因状语从句，但是在用法上一般理解成类似于and引导的并列句，该从句必须放置于主句之后，表示个人主观加以解释的，不一定准确的原因。） ethanol can be produced by the parts which are not eaten by animals.
Finally, the professor admits that the tax subsidies are certainly needed today, yet（真的可以这样用吗？） he believes that the ethanol will be competitive in price in the future. As the demand for ethanol goes up, the factory will increase the production, which generally leads to a drop in price. In addition, the research shows that if the production can be three times greater than now, the cost of ethanol per unit will drop 40%. 4 s; o+ g. {: X, g3 F
For the reasons above, the professor considers ethanol fuel as a good replacement for gaoline (gasoline), which contradicts the opinion(s) in the reading.
从楼主的综合中学到了好多东西~~~~跟楼主比起来我就是那渣渣中的渣渣啊。。。。。。顺便呼唤楼主~~求更改在下的tpo22~~~其实我只是晚交了~~~满地打滚中！！
作者: MELODYSKIING 时间: 2012-2-9 17:15:01
53# loveinwc 谢谢修改喔~！
1、第一段我确实不应该这么写，强调的是lecture的观点~~谢谢指出啊！
2、for在这里表原因，后面跟一个完整句子就可以了……跟because一样用，但所表示原因比because因果关系要弱。不过我自己觉得这里用for确实不太好，应该分句~~
3、yet可以和but换着用~~~
作者: MELODYSKIING 时间: 2012-2-10 14:40:23
本帖最后由 MELODYSKIING 于 2012-2-10 14:52 编辑
2.10 101203NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should help children to do their work or encourage children to do their work independently.
(最后一次写了~~明天就考了...求rp吖...)(发现三段好整齐啊，我还没写过三段式的...好吧，语言实在平平，但至少没什么错，论证和例子似乎比之前好些了吧..自我安慰呀TT)
Hearing the cry of a little child, who is trapped and falls down on the ground, parents can either offer a hand to the kid or encourage him to stand up on his own feet. In my eyes, parents should encourage children to deal with their work and problems on their own.
First and foremost, one of the most important lessons in the process of growing is to be independent. After all, parents cannot always stand by and help their children. Kids should learn to make decisions and deal with problems by themselves. Lack of training, kids will be at loss what to do when they come across difficulties. Always being help, kids will rely on their parents rather than consider their own affairs. In addition, being encouraged to work independently, the kid will gradually realize that it is himself that should be responsible for the decision and the result of his behavior.
Furthermore, this teaching method can stimulate children's imagination and creative ability. When encouraged to deal with problems, kids may come up with some creative solutions. For example, I once asked my little brother to open the walnut on his own. He tried a lot of methods, stepping on it or biting it, but failed. Then I was surprised to find that he put the walnut on the crack between the door and its frame, so that walnut was clamped. As he closed the door, the walnut was opened. He eventually made it! Our adults usually deal with the stiff nuts by a hammer or a pincher, but the little child creatively makes use of the door! Besides, the child will feel proud of himself and get confidence from this little achievement. When facing hardship next time, they will be active and brave to make attempts.
Owing to the immaturity and lack of knowledge, children are incompetent to cope with some hard problems, such as mathematical, physical or even philosophy problems. Thus, parents should offer some tips. When a little boy asks, "where do I come from?", it is futile to encourage him to deal with it independently. He is unlikely to find out the answer even if he spends days and nights thinking of it. He may still be confused with the parent's answer. However, what the parent should be is an assistant rather than an answer provider. Parents can give pieces of advice or ask leading questions, yet it is the kid himself that makes the final decision. In this way, kids will be trained to think independently.
In a nutshell, since the encouragement cultivates a sense of responsibility, creative ability, self-confidence and critical thinking, parents should definitely offer an opportunity for their children to cope with their work and problems on their own.
作者: wqr619 时间: 2012-2-10 15:51:27
楼主写得好赞~~~特别喜欢那种开头。。。。楼主明天考试加油~~~~
作者: towardsBT 时间: 2012-2-11 00:21:58
楼主的文章是我在版上看到的最好的了~太赞了~主要是学习楼主的文章，没改出什么来。。楼主明天加油~~！
作者: iBT20120304 时间: 2012-2-11 09:28:42
我也改不出什么问题来。语法方面无可挑剔，词汇运用方面也较为丰富生动，句型也很多样变化，论证清晰给力。很赞！
之前帮楼主仔细修改过一篇文章，直接被楼主无视了。想想也是，楼主英文这么好，我如此班门弄斧了，实在惭愧。
基于我的考试经验，以楼主这个水平，应该可以拿一个29+的分数。正常发挥便可。
作者: iBT20120304 时间: 2012-2-11 09:29:04
祝楼主明天旗开得胜！加油！
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