argument40 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！

tomwangUID: 189768

ArgumentX  第6篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
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作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：45分10秒     351 words
从2003年0月22日18时1分到2003年0月22日18时45分
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The following appeared in a memorandum from the president of Excello Food Markets.

"In 90 towns where Excello has food markets, natural-food stores specializing in organic food products—products containing no chemical preservatives and made with foods grown without pesticides—have opened nearby as competitors. Surveys of our own customers reveal a growing concern about foods grown using pesticides or preserved with chemicals. Recently our market in Sun City participated in a local food tasting fair, and 75 percent of the fair goers who visited the Excello booth requested free samples of organic fruit. Such evidence indicates that to increase our profits, we should begin to stock a full line of organic food products in all our markets."

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The president claims that they should stock a full line of  organic food products in all their markets. This recommendation is based on the servey that shows that more customers would like to buy organic food. In addition, the local food tasting fair gives them the same result. The conclusion sounds reasonable at the first glance, however, a careful analysis reveals several problems with the argument which is therefore unpersuasive.

In the first place, the president provides no evidence that the survey's respondents are representative of the over all group of people who buy foods in the market. Lacking such evidence, it is entirely possible that people inclined to buy organic food are more willing to respond to the survey than other people were. In short , without better evidence that the survey is statistically reliable , the president can not rely on it to draw any firm conclusion.

In the second place, the president assumes that more people in the tasting fair request organic fruit means more people like to eat organic food. However , we are not informed whether this is the case. What about other kinds of food besides fruit? Perhaps more people will like to eat the general vegetables than organic ones. Or perhaps, the organic food in the fair is more fresh than general food. Without ruling out these possible senarios , I simply can not take the conclusion seriously.
3min
Last but not least, even if more people  like to eat organic food, the president provides no evidence that more customers will buy it . It is possible that the price of the organic food is much higher than general food , and fewer people can accept the price. Thus, the mere fact that more people would like to eat organic fruit in the fair lends scant support to the author's recommendation.

In sum, to persuade me that they should stock organic food products, the president must supply clear evidence that more customers will buy it. Still , it would be neccesary for the author to rule out all the possibilities mentioned-above before we can better evaluate the argument .

JungreUID: 192044

I thiink you reasoned quite well.  however, i have two recommendations:

1. the first paragraph is too long, i thiink

2. "Surveys of our own customers reveal a" -----this tells your that the survey is baised. However, i agree wtih you that more information about the survey is needed for the results to be reliable.


Acturally, after reviewing your argument i find i missed the first mistake you find in my writing.

Here is my argument, please commend on it :)

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The author proposed to implement a rather big action --to stock a full line of organic food products in all market--to increase the profit. However, the evidences provided cannot sustain the argument.

First of all, how the profit of Excello can be increased is never mentioned in the argument. The information is about how people are more and more concerned with organic food. Making profit relates to more issues than just customers concern :the cost, the production process, the technology, etc. Much more information is needs for readers to accept the idea that the profit would increase with organic food.

Second, the author tried to describe a general trend that people are more and more concerned with organic food. However, only one survey conducted in a single city is mentioned and only those who went to the excello booth were sampled. These information is far from convincing.

Third, the author proposed to stock a full line of organic food products in all their markets. This remains to be investigated further. In the sample cited above, only the organic fruit is requested by fair goers. As there are varies types of organic food, which to be included and which not needs more thorough investigation. Similarly, which market need organic food and which not also needs more detailed information to make the decision.

The memorandum only sees some superficial evidences and the conclusion is firm-stand. To really implement the action proposed by the author, more information is needed.

tomwangUID: 189768

多谢你的砖头^_^
我的开头的确有点罗嗦，需要精简！
你的文章写的挺不错，就是字数好像少了点（好像不到300吧），反正我比较喜欢用perhaps或Itis possible 来凑字数，供参考啦
The author  proposed to implement a rather big action --to stock a full line of organic food products in all market--to increase the profit. However, the evidences provided cannot sustain the argument.

First of all, how the profit of Excello can be increased is never mentioned in the argument. The information is about how people are more and more concerned with organic food. Making profit relates to more issues than just customers concern这个地方好像语法有问题(不太确定的说) :the cost, the production process, the technology, etc. Much more information is needsneeded for readers to accept the idea that the profit would increase with organic food.

Second, the author tried to describe a general trend that people are more and more concerned with organic food. However, only one survey conducted in a single city is mentioned and only those who went to the excello booth were sampled. These information is far from convincing.

Third, the author proposed to stock a full line of organic food products in all their markets. This remains to be investigated further. In the sample cited above, only the organic fruit is requested by fair goers. As there are varies types of organic food, which to be included and which not needs more thorough investigation. Similarly, which market need organic food and which not also needs more detailed information to make the decision.

The memorandum only sees some superficial evidences and the conclusion is firm-stand. To really implement the action proposed by the author, more information is needed.