ISSUE41 同主题 期待您的砖头！！！谢谢！！

sxleeUID: 200505

ISSUE 41
-----------简介-----------
作者：sxlee      48mins   520ws
-----------题目----------
41"Such nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science
-----------正文-----------
In the very ancient times, due to people's inability to explain and solve certain problems, they often turned to astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits for help. Nowadays, however, some people still rely on these non-mainstream areas of inquiry to address certain problems, although we have the relatively developed science and technology to deal with many problems which our ancestors could not do before. As far as I am concerned, although these areas of inquiry can satisfy certain human needs to some extent, for the most part, they tend to bring harm to us.

B1、 非主流学科可以满足人们的心理安慰；
On the one hand, I concede that those non-mainstream areas will satisfy our psychological needs sometimes, and to some extent can help us deal with some problems effectively in our daily lives. With the rapid pace of modern society, people become more and more busy and are experiencing all kinds of pressures either from their daily lives or their work. As a result, when they fail to comfort them-selves, they are inclined to resort to some non-mainstream inquiry for explanation. For example, those who fail in their study or work often rely on fortune-telling to conclude that it is because their misfortune rather than their inability or deficiency that make them fail. In this respect, they can only get some measure of comfort, whether it is harmful or useful.

B2、大多数情况下，它们只会给人们带来危害。
    b1、会使人们不依赖主流
On the other hand, for most part, those areas of inquiry only serve to deteriorate our ability to survive in our society. Firstly, people who depend on those areas of inquiry tend to deny the mainstream science as the primary way to seek out solutions for the problems they encounter in daily life. For example, always seeking excuses for their failure and misdoing by claiming that they are unfortunate, people are more likely not to depend on reasonable analysis and investigation to solve their problems.
    b2、 会使人们产生错误的人生态度，从而造成危害。
Secondly, by relying on those areas of inquiry to address certain problems people often develop a wrong attitude toward life. To illustrate this point, one of my neighbor can serves as a convincing example. Li Ning, one of my neighbor and my best friend, was once an excellent student and an extrovert boy. But in the second year of his high school, his mother asked a fortune-teller to tell whether Li can get into an university when he grow up, and what they get is an positive answer: he would enroll in Qing Hua University--one of the topest university of China--right after his 18th birthday. After that his mother told everyone she met that her son would soon be a student in Qing Hua, and as result of which a large amount of pressure was brought to Li. Unfortunately, due to the psychological pressure brought by his mother's dissemination, Li finally dropped out from school only three months after he knew that he would "definitely" be a university student.

To sum up, while those non-mainstream areas of inquiry can bring certain psychological comfort to people, this kind of comfort always serve to harm our normal lives. Therefore, we should not rely on them to solve our problems in daily-life.



B1、 非主流学科可以满足人们的心理安慰；
B2、大多数情况下，它们只会给人们带来危害。
    b1、会使人们不依赖主流
b2、 会使人们产生错误的人生态度，从而造成危害。

sxleeUID: 200505

自己 up 一下！

AlierUID: 159518

我仔细看了一遍，觉得你语言不错，行文也比较流畅，小的语法错误之类的就没有给你一一改了，把大的问题说一下吧。
我觉得最大的问题是你题目没有审准，这样也导致了你后面的论述扣主题扣得不太好。
Nt：注意题目是....by satisfying human needs "that" are not addressed by mainstream science。注意这个that，就把它满足的人们的需要的方面限定了－－是那些主流科学不能解释的领域。而你在文中举的例子，看起来都是主流科学其实可以解释的（比如study fail。。），这样就有点跑题嫌疑。还有就是，就我看来，非主流科学（特别是这里提到的astrology，fortune－telling等），大多是在人们行为前发生作用（也就是说，人们一般是用他们来预测未来的），而你文中大幅笔墨都是在说人们行为后rely on them for 心理安慰，这个是不是也稍微有点不妥呢。（这个集中体现在2，3段，感觉这两段意思比较重复，然后主题却是矛盾的）
第4段的主题其实很好，也应该比较容易说（比如，fortune－telling让人们产生消极人生观啊。。），但是你的例子比较特殊，而且例子似乎在证明它会对人的发展产生压力和消极影响，与你的ts中提出的人生观没有联系，这也是应该注意的地方。

呵呵，这些就是我想到的了，你语言很好，再在审题上下番功夫就更好了，加油！

ps：我也写了这个同主题的，也去拍拍我吧！（连接在签名档）

sxleeUID: 200505

非常感谢Alier， 你分析的很透彻，象你学习，我会在好好考虑一下的！！

其实每次写完作文都感觉的说不到点子上或是说理不够！！！应该在这方面多下工夫！！以后还请多指教！！