issue144 [Synergy小组]ostrich第7次作业

ostrich1986UID: 2238177

48 "The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."
对历史的研究把太多的重点放在对某些个人上。而历史上一些重大的事件和发展趋势不是由个别名人决定的，而是由那些已经被人们淡忘的社会群体所创造的。

Who made the most important events and trends in history? The speaker asserts that groups of people who are almost always forgotten make crucial efforts and contributions to those events and trends. I concede that the great effects of groups of people in history developing cannot be neglected. However, in my point of view, the speaker overlooks certain aspects of efforts made by famous individuals.

Admittedly, what is enormously stimulative in history developing is that people unite as a whole to struggle for the same goal. To support the statement, the speaker might point out several examples as below. During 1920 to 1922, in India, there was a nationwide people’s movement-Nonviolent and Noncooperation Movements-of passive resistance to Britain. Because the huge number of Indian join the movement and society became disordered, the government yielded. In the end, it made obvious and important contributions to the independence of India because a vast number of Indian took part in and they kept serial pressure on the government. There is another convincing example can testify the statement. The American civil rights movement broke out in 1955. Hundreds of thousand blacks united and fought for their rights. They boycotted the city’s buses and were on march to give pressure on both the Kennedy administration and the Congress to pass the civil rights legislation proposed by Kennedy. In the end, the blacks achieved their rights which were indeed long steps towards racial equality. The chief reason is they became influential because they hold together.

However, it is because of the key role that a few of famous individuals acted in certain aspects that people could come together to achieve the same goal. According to human history, almost all of movements were leaded or instructed by some famous individuals who were remembered in long term. Those famous individuals have outstanding abilities of leading or instructing people how to struggle for their rights. For instance, Mahatma Gandhi determined to establish his country’s freedom through Nonviolent and Noncooperation Movements. As a leader, he guided Indians to resist effectively Britain government. In a not dissimilar way, Martin Luther King, as a crucial pivotal role in movement, guided blacks fight for their equally rights as white owned. Their existence contributed to the accomplishment of the movements. The impetus of the leaders in most significant events and trends is obvious.

Furthermore, it plays a pivotal role in satisfying psychological need of people. The manifestation of the need is that people hope to be in a strong group and follow some one who is considered as a heroic person. For example, Martin Luther King almost always was in front of the group when they were on march. Every black behind him gained great force to keep them following him for their benefits and rights. Besides, Martin Luther King’s tonic speech can also inspire people in his group and leading increasing people’s passion and strengthening their faith. One of “the famous few” in a group can build the group to be strong and invincible. Their courage and wisdom inspire every one in their groups. Every individual in their groups will become braver and fearless. Thus, it is possible that they accomplish their goal. The influence of the leader overweighs the effects of the groups of people in this sense.

To sum up, what is praiseworthy is that the speaker senses the important impetus of groups of people. But the speaker neglects the significant functions of “the famous few” in leading and instructive. Moreover, in my opinion, famous individuals, who become the centers of groups of people, play a crucial role in developing society and history.

westlife007_huUID: 2270665

粗略的看了一下这次写的不错,比上次的好,语言也流畅多了
因为要考试所以每时间细改,有空一定仔细看
我原先也想用着两个例子来着,是不是大家都这么想啊
补充一点,你全篇都只局限于政治领域,会不会太片面了呢

[ 本帖最后由 westlife007_hu 于 2006-12-13 14:15 编辑 ]

yangxuanUID: 2241148

Who made the most important events and trends in history? The speaker asserts that groups of people who are almost always（almost always可以用吗？） forgotten make crucial efforts and contributions to those events and trends. I concede that the great effects of groups of people in history developing cannot be neglected. However, in my point of view, the speaker overlooks certain aspects of efforts made by famous individuals.Admittedly, what is enormously stimulative in history developing is that people unite as a whole to struggle for the same goal. To support the statement, the speaker might point out several examples as below. During 1920 to 1922, in India, there was a nationwide people’s movement-Nonviolent and Noncooperation Movements-of passive resistance to Britain. Because the huge number of Indianjoin the movement and society became disordered, the government yielded. In the end, it made obvious and important contributions to the independence of India because a vast number of Indian took part in and they kept serial pressure on the government. There is another convincing example can testify the statement. The American civil rights movement broke out in 1955. Hundreds of thousand blacks united and fought for their rights. They boycotted the city’s buses and were on march to give pressure on both the Kennedy administration and the Congress to pass the civil rights legislation proposed by Kennedy. In the end, the blacks achieved their rights which were indeed long steps towards racial equality. The chief reason is they became influential because they hold together. However, it is because of the key role that a few of (of去掉)famous individuals acted in certain aspects that people could come together to achieve the same goal. According to human history, almost all of movements were leaded or instructed by some famous individuals who were remembered in long term. Those famous individuals have outstanding abilities of leading or instructing people how to struggle for their rights. For instance, Mahatma Gandhi determined to establish his country’s freedom through Nonviolent and Noncooperation Movements. As a leader, he guided Indians to resist effectively Britain government. In a not dissimilar way, Martin Luther King, as a crucial pivotal role in movement, guided blacks fight for their equally rights as white owned. Their existence contributed to the accomplishment of the movements. The impetus of the leaders in most significant events and trends is obvious.Furthermore, it plays a pivotal role in satisfying psychological need of people. The manifestation of the need is that people hope to be in a strong group and follow some one who is considered as a heroic person. For example, Martin Luther King almost always（同前） was in front of the group when they were on march. Every black behind him gained great force to keep them following him for their benefits and rights. Besides, Martin Luther King’s tonic speech can also inspire people in his group and leading increasing people’s passion and strengthening their faith. One of “the famous few” in a group can build the group to be strong and invincible. Their courage and wisdom inspire every one in their groups. Every individual in their groups will become braver and fearless. Thus, it is possible that they accomplish their goal. The influence of the leader overweighs the effects of the groups of people in this sense.To sum up, what is praiseworthy is that the speaker senses the important impetus of groups of people. But the speaker neglects the significant functions of “the famous few” in leading and instructive.（instruction） Moreover, in my opinion, famous individuals, who become the centers of groups of people, play a crucial role in developing society and history. (有没有发展历史这种说法？)

不错，语言上基本没什么问题，但在论证上和我有一个相同的问题，就是在说理上大部分是通过例子来论证，缺乏深刻的分析。另外，例子全是Martin Luther King和Gandhi,更何况两者属于同一性质, King还是Gandhi的徒弟,这既是二楼所说的问题。

ostrich1986UID: 2238177

almost always 是有的
history developing 也是有滴
恩 例子确实是缺分析

hyt0303UID: 2254178

48 "The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."
对历史的研究把太多的重点放在对某些个人上。而历史上一些重大的事件和发展趋势不是由个别名人决定的，而是由那些已经被人们淡忘的社会群体所创造的。

Who made the most important events and trends in history? The speaker asserts that groups of people who are almost always forgotten make crucial efforts and contributions to those events and trends. I concede that the great effects of groups of people in history developing cannot be neglected. However, in my point of view, the speaker overlooks certain aspects of efforts made by famous individuals.

Admittedly, what is enormously stimulative in history developing is that people unite as a whole to struggle for the same goal. To support the statement, the speaker might point out several examples as below. During 1920 to 1922, in India, there was a nationwide people’s movement-Nonviolent and Noncooperation Movements-of passive resistance to Britain. Because the huge number of Indian join the movement and society became disordered, the government yielded. In the end, it made obvious and important contributions to the independence of India because a vast number of Indian took part in and they kept serial pressure on the government. There is another convincing example can testify the statement. The American civil rights movement broke out in 1955. Hundreds of thousand blacks united and fought for their rights. They boycotted the city’s buses and were on march to give pressure on both the Kennedy administration and the Congress to pass the civil rights legislation proposed by Kennedy. In the end, the blacks achieved their rights which were indeed long steps towards racial equality. The chief reason is they became influential because they hold together. （二战反法西斯的胜利就是全世界人民的共同努力，还有20世纪非洲各国的独立也是很好的例子，即互相声援，共同解放。）

However, it is because of the key role that a few of famous individuals acted in certain aspects that people could come together to achieve the same goal. According to human history, almost all of movements were leaded or instructed by some famous individuals who were remembered in long term. Those famous individuals have outstanding abilities of leading or instructing people how to struggle for their rights. For instance, Mahatma Gandhi determined to establish his country’s freedom through Nonviolent and Noncooperation Movements. As a leader, he guided Indians to resist effectively Britain government. In a not dissimilar way, Martin Luther King, as a crucial pivotal role in movement, guided blacks fight for their equally rights as white owned. Their existence contributed to the accomplishment of the movements. The impetus of the leaders in most significant events and trends is obvious.（这里华盛顿领导独立或者林肯南北统一的例子，应该也可以拿来用吧。）

Furthermore, it plays a pivotal role in satisfying psychological need of people. The manifestation of the need is that people hope to be in a strong group and follow some one who is considered as a heroic person. For example, Martin Luther King almost always was in front of the group when they were on march. Every black behind him gained great force to keep them following him for their benefits and rights. Besides, Martin Luther King’s tonic speech can also inspire people in his group and leading increasing people’s passion and strengthening their faith. One of “the famous few” in a group can build the group to be strong and invincible. Their courage and wisdom inspire every one in their groups. Every individual in their groups will become braver and fearless. Thus, it is possible that they accomplish their goal. The influence of the leader overweighs the effects of the groups of people in this sense.（这里圣女贞德的例子不知道好不好，也许可以给你提供一点参考，避免例子的重复。）

To sum up, what is praiseworthy is that the speaker senses the important impetus of groups of people. But the speaker neglects the significant functions of “the famous few” in leading and instructive. Moreover, in my opinion, famous individuals, who become the centers of groups of people, play a crucial role in developing society and history.

文字都不错的，就是例子确实有点重复。

有空帮忙拍拍我的作业哈，谢谢！！：）