Issue48 【Persistence小组】第17次作业

Andy85UID: 2250503

Do the study of history should place its emphasis on the famous individuals? The speaker claims not, for the reason that the most
significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by the general public whose identities have
long been forgotten. Although I concede that general public is important in the historical events, I fundamentally disagree with the
assertion above.

We should admit that it is the general public who created the history. For example, in the American Civil War, without the help of the
people who did not leave their names in the history book, Lincoln would not win the success of the battle. It is the same with Martin
Ruther King. If the people did not support him, he could not be able to obtain the equal fairness and rights for people with different
skin colors and from other ethnics. Thus we could not ignore the function of the people.

However, the prominent few played a more important role of leaders who initiated these events and trends in history. For instance, if
Lincoln did not think of liberating the black slaves and giving them equal freedom, the miserable condition would go on in the American
society. These persons were much like a spark without which the pound could not explode. And thanks to their creative mind and ideas, they illustrated a better future to other people, instilled a sort of spirit in them and inspired them to change the existing world.

Further, the study of history should be based on the research of records of facts and evidences that were passed from the ancient age and that fixed its attention on the famous elites. Look into our historical records, we may find that most of the stories are about the
great men and women, and it is hard to come across with anybody who is just an ordinary people. As the history must be true, then we can just carry out studies of the great people, and then through the experiences of the famous persons the historians could imagines
the characteristic, customs, behaviors of the people in that time.

To conclude, the efforts and contributions those great persons made provide themselves with a position that cannot be replaced in
history. And the attribute of the historical record also requires the study of history to place much of its emphasis on those great
individuals.

[ 本帖最后由 Andy85 于 2007-2-19 19:38 编辑 ]

欣馨之火UID: 2183210

Do （Does）the study of history should place its emphasis on the famous individuals? The speaker claims not, （claims not有点别扭，有这种表达方式？） for the reason that the most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by the general public whose identities have long been forgotten. Although I concede that general public is important in the historical events, I fundamentally disagree with the assertion above.

We should admit that it is the general public who created the history. For example, in the American Civil War, without the help of the people who did not leave their names in the history book, Lincoln would not win the success of the battle. （battle显得有点“小”了吧？可以考虑换个表达方式）It is the same with Martin Ruther King. If the people did not support him, he could not be able to obtain the equal fairness and rights for people with different skin colors and from other ethnics. Thus we could not ignore the function of the people.

However, the prominent few played a more important role of leaders who initiated these events and trends in history. For instance, if Lincoln did not think of liberating the black slaves and giving them equal freedom, the miserable condition would go on in the American society. These persons were much like a spark without which the pound could not explode. （pound explode？这种表达我不太清楚。可以交流一下）And thanks to their creative mind and ideas, they illustrated a better future to other people, instilled a sort of spirit in them and inspired them to change the existing world. （最后这一句很不错啊！）

Further, the study of history should be based on the research of records of facts and evidences that were passed from the ancient age and that fixed its attention on the famous elites. Look into our historical records, we may find that most of the stories are about the great men and women, and it is hard to come across with anybody who is just an ordinary people. As the history must be true, then we can just carry out studies of the great people, and then through the experiences of the famous persons the historians could imagines the characteristic, customs, behaviors of the people in that time.（这一段论证稍微有点小问题。个人认为，遵循你的思路，没能很好的论证elite能够代表common people，这点没论证好的话，你的论述反而容易让人抓住把柄：只关注elite可能会忽略掉很多common people的特性，从而历史学家反而应该多搜集非elite的信息和证据。这是遵从你的思路的分析，一点讨论：正式因为历史是客观存在，而我们只能通过证据去还原历史，那么，为什么不能做到越全面越好呢？即是说，elite和public都要重视，能找到多少信息就找到多少。我在行文时，用了“平衡”观点。你在前面也用了让步，从你的论述来看，后面你是强调了要关注elite，如果把那个论证弥补好，还是能够说服人的。我的行文是在后面强调不能overemphasize elite，可能更中庸一点。）

To conclude, the efforts and contributions those great persons made provide themselves with a position that cannot be replaced in history. And the attribute of the historical record also requires the study of history to place much of its emphasis on those great individuals.

1.       思想性上，持有完全反对的观点。从论述来看，基本能够说服人。
2.       结构性，没什么大问题。让步+正面论述。每段的展开也很好，有讨论的地方，我已经在文中标出。
3.       语言，不说了。我猜你是计时了，计时能够写成这样，很棒！

落雪UID: 2258193

思路很清晰，前三段相当漂亮，不多赘述。第四段逻辑不是很清楚。如果是我的话，第四段更强调individual 和common people 之间的balance。though famous individuals lead the trends in history,however, a majority of history consists of ordinary people,whose life virtually reflect the real history,and we may distort the history by just focusing on the great people .( 可以举二战的例子，我们可能很羡慕那些风云人物的传奇事迹，但是不能因此就对那个时候产生向往，以为乱世造英雄，而不顾及全世界人的疾苦，这就是歪曲历史

落雪UID: 2258193

These persons were much like a spark without which the pound could not explode(the torch could not lighted).