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[i习作temp] argument140 第一次限时 失败 [复制链接]

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发表于 2007-2-22 22:37:20 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
第一次用工具写,感觉很不好啊。大脑一片空白。字数不够还一塌糊涂。。大家猛拍吧

TOPIC: ARGUMENT140 - The following appeared in a report of the Committee on Faculty Promotions and Salaries at Elm City University.

"During her seventeen years as a professor of botany, Professor Thomas has proved herself to be well worth her annual salary of $50,000. Her classes are among the largest at the university, demonstrating her popularity among students. Moreover, the money she has brought to the university in research grants has exceeded her salary in each of the last two years. Therefore, in consideration of Professor Thomas' demonstrated teaching and research abilities, we recommend that she receive a $10,000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson; without such a raise and promotion, we fear that Professor Thomas will leave Elm City University for another college."
WORDS: 393          TIME: 0:34:36          DATE: 2007-2-22

In this argument, the author enthusiastically advocated that we should raise professor Thomas' salary and promote her to be the department chairperson, for her extrordinary ability of teaching and research. The author also feared that the professor will leave Elm city university without such a raise and promotion. I think this argumetn is not reasoned and will discuss several questionble facets in turn.

First of all, the author makes as outright assumption that professor thomas has extrordinary ability of teaching and research by providing the mere fact that her classes asre among the largest at the university. However, this evidence cannot demonstrate her popilarity among students.It is possible that students have to choose her class for it is nessasary part of teaching plan, or it is also possible that students are easy to get a high score from this class, as a result her classes are the largest at the university. Without any detail information about the teaching ability of professor thomas, the author cannot convince us that it is worthwhile that the university should pay her hign salary.

secondly, the mere fact that the money she has brought the university in research has exceeded her salary in each of the last two years lends little support to this argument. In considerastion of one professor's research ability, we should evaluate her research outcomes, papers, and so on. Collecting money is nothing with the ability of research.

Addimmitedly, This argument keeps on stumbling on the same stone of unreasonable correlation. even assuming that professor thomas has extrordinary teaching and research ability, any evidence were provided that she could be a effective leader. Being leaders calls for many abilities, such as how to connect with others, individual responsibility, self-despline and so on. In a word, the author fails to consider these abilities which a good leader should have. Furthermore, the argument relies on another assumption that professor thomas will leave Elm city university without provide any evidences. It is entirely possible that even there is no higher salary and department chairperson position for professor thomas, she would not leave the university for she was satified with her current salary and position.

In sum, the argument relies on a series outright assumption without offering effiecient evidence. To strengthen this conclusion, the author should substantial professor’s teaching and research ability are worthwhile the higher salary and position.
温和的坚持,并且微笑
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发表于 2007-2-23 14:07:28 |只看该作者
In this argument, the author enthusiastically advocated that we should raise professor Thomas' salary and promote her to be the department chairperson, for her extrordinary ability of teaching and research. The author also feared that the professor will leave Elm city university without such a raise and promotion. I think this argumetn is not reasoned最好不要说‘Not reasoned’,讲它没有很严密、不可信之类的好一些 and will discuss several questionble facets in turn.

First of all, the author makes as outright assumption that professor thomas has extrordinary ability of teaching and research by providing the mere fact that her classes asre among the largest at the university. However, this evidence cannot demonstrate her popilarity among students.It is possible that students have to choose her class for it is a nessasary part of teaching plan, or it is also possible that students are easy to get a high score from this class, as a result her classes are the largest at the university. Without any detail detailed information about the teaching ability of professor thomas, the author cannot convince us that it is worthwhile that the university should pay her hign salary.

secondly, the mere fact that the money she has brought the university in research has exceeded her salary in each of the last two years lends little support to this argument. In considerastion of one professor's research ability, we should evaluate her research outcomes, papers, and so on. Collecting money is nothing with the ability of research. 有点太单薄了,可以论证的详尽一些

Addimmitedly, This argument keeps on stumbling on the same stone of unreasonable correlation. even assuming that professor thomas has extrordinary teaching and research ability, anyno evidence werewas provided that she could be a effective leader. Being leaders calls for many abilities, such as how to connect with others, individual responsibility, self-despline and so on. In a word, the author fails to consider these abilities which a good leader should have. Furthermore, the argument relies on another assumption that professor thomas will leave Elm city university without provide any evidences. It is entirely possible that even there is no higher salary and department chairperson position for professor thomas, she would not leave the university for she was satified with her current salary and position. 建议这两点分来两段来写,而且有很大展开的空间

In sum, the argument relies on a series outright assumption without offering effiecient evidence. To strengthen this conclusion, the author should substantial professor’s teaching and research ability are worthwhile the higher salary and position.

打错的单词比较多,这里就不一一改过了,建议先粘贴在word里面改正
我最近也在痛苦的限时,十分理解~~
大概是时间有限吧,有些地方写的不是太充分,不过慢慢习惯限时就会好些了
Good luck and great success in the coming New Year.

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RE: argument140 第一次限时 失败 [修改]

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