Issue38 [Victors小组]第1次作业

乳虎UID: 2251211

AIssue 38
TOPIC: ISSUE38 - "In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books."
WORDS: 465        TIME: 09:30          DATE: 2007-4-13
提纲:1Learning by watching TV is not as convenient as by reading book.
         2TV should not provide us basic theory.


According to the title statement, in the age of television, reading book becomes less important than before. People can learn as much by watching television as by reading books. I admit that televisions play a important role now, but I can’t accept the point that people can learn as much by watching television as by reading books.

Admittedly, TV plays a more and more important role for us to get information. It can report the event in every country and region in time. Moreover, it can transmit information vividly via sound, imagine, characters. However, TV has inherent passive nature which render it can’t replace books.

On the one hand, we cant’t learn as conveniently by watching TV as by reading books. Everyone has different habit and preference. Someone like skimming, while others prefer reading carefully. Besides, we read different books in different way. Some books need tasting carefully ,some need skiming, some even only read the contents. Books can satisfy various need. We can skim whole book first and swallow it then. What’s more, we can make notes in the margine of pages. To the contrast, TV programs are composed for all audiences, so their pace, speed are both fixed. When we can’t catch TV, we can’t make it stop and when we would like to compare a part of a program to last one, we can’t make it reverse. In addition, when we enjoy a attractive play series ,we can only enjoy one part every day. How frustrated! If we have no spare  time the next day, we have to miss some part. On the contrary, a novel can be read everytime and everywhere, Furthermore, the advertisement often bother us. They waste us much time. So learning by watching Tv is inefficient.

On the other hand, we can’t learn basic theory via TV. Undoubtedly, basic theory is necessary to us. For example, if only we mastered Newton’ classical physic theory ,can we understand how satellite can circle the earth? Without macroeconomic theory, we can only see debate about interest rate, employment, price level and so on but can’t understand the relationship among these data. then in order to learn physic and economics, we have to learn mathematics. Can TV provide us these knowledge? No. Even if it has effectual technology,I t should’t provide us these. As a enterprise, TV station is rational.T heir main purpose is maximizing profit instead of educating audiences. Basic theory is always tedious, which can’t attract advertisement bill and bring profit to them. So we are doomed fail to learn basic theory via TV.

TV has some inherent superior nature in transmitting  information, but it’s impossible to learn as much by watching television as we can by reading books. Of cause TV is not the substitution of books.
         大家不要手下留情,小生心理素质很好.

[ 本帖最后由 乳虎 于 2007-4-13 09:31 编辑 ]

wangxiaoxuanUID: 2259221

我是6号,是我批你的吗?下去看一下,晚上回复哦~~

wangxiaoxuanUID: 2259221

用红色加粗体改过了,但是放上来就看不清了~~~~
主要就是句子结构得问题,最好能够多一点同谓语从句或者定语从句~~~重复用词少一点~~~练一练就好啦
另外在可以在每一个论点中把书和电视得特点作一下比较,再举几个例子,马上内容就丰富多了


According to the statement, in the age of multimedia, where book becomes less important than before,people can learn as much by watching television as by reading books. I admit that televisions play an important role now, however while considering about the contents  and inclination of most current tv programs ,the speaker has gone too far to draw a conclution that it can substitude the function of book.

Admittedly, TV has occupied more and more proportion of  the information obtaining.  News report the event across different countries and regions in no time. Moreover, it can also transmit information vividly via sound, imagine, characters. (compare with book…..)However, TV has inherently passive nature which render from replacing books.

In one hand, watching TV is far from a convenient way of learning  compared with reading books. Everyone has his own habit and preference, suppose someone like skimming, while others prefer reading carefully. Besides,  books according to their style could be read in different way, when classical books need tasting carefully , others you can just skim through, only to read the contents. In a word, books satisfy various customers. We can skim whole book first and swallow it then. What’s more, we can make notes in the margine of pages. To the contrast, TV programs are composed for all audiences, so their pace, speed are both fixed. When we fail to catch TV, we can’t make it stop and when we would like to compare a part of a program to last one, we can’t reverse it. In addition, when we enjoy a attractive play series ,we can only enjoy one part every day. How frustrated! If we have no spare  time the next day, some part might be missing,(try not to repeat contrary)while a novel can be read everytime and everywhere, Furthermore, the advertisement often bother us. They waste us much time. In that case, learning by watching Tv is inefficient.(try to use more compound clauses,like……which/where/what, avoid to use “can/make ” too many times)

On the other hand, we can’t learn basic theory via TV. Undoubtedly, basic theory is necessary to us. For example, if only we mastered Newton’ classical physic theory ,can we understand how can satellite circle the earth? Without macroeconomic theory, we can only see debate about interest rate, employment, price level and so on but can’t understand the relationship among these data. then in order to learn physic and economics, we have to learn mathematics. Can TV provide us these knowledge? No. Even if it has effectual technology,I t should’t provide us these. As a enterprise, TV station is rational profitable orgnization, whose main purpose is maximizing benefits instead of educating audiences. Basic theory is always tedious, which can’t attract advertisement bill and bring profit to them. So we are doomed fail to learn basic theory via TV.

In a sum, although TV has some inherently superior nature in transmitting  information,  it’s impossible to learn as much by watching television as we can by reading books,not to mention a substitution of books.

tianjinxtlUID: 2173942

According to the title statement, in the age of television, reading book becomes less important than before. People can learn as much by watching television as by reading books. [不用另起一句] I admit that televisions play a[an] important role now, but I can’t accept the point that people can learn as much by watching television as by reading books.[重复了]

Admittedly, TV plays a more and more important role for us to get information. It can report the event in every country and region in time. Moreover, it can transmit information vividly via sound, imagine [and] characters. However, TV has [an] inherent[ly] passive nature which [render it can’t replace books.] [用法有问题，render (sb.) sth.]

On the one hand, we cant’t learn as conveniently by watching TV as by reading books. Everyone has different habit and preference. Someone[Some people] like skimming, while others prefer reading carefully. Besides, we read different books in different way. [下面这句和上面没什么关系。也不能解释everyone句。]Some books need tasting carefully ,some need skiming, some even only read the contents.[need呢？这里可以尝试多样化的用词。] Books can satisfy various need. We can skim whole book first and swallow it then.[这句话对上面的支持不力，把some books need放在这里可能更合适。] What’s more, we can make notes in the margin [of pages可以不写]. To[On] the contrast, TV programs are composed[impose?被动也不对] for all audiences, so their pace,[两者不用逗号] speed are both fixed. When we can’t catch TV, we can’t make it stop[，] and when we would like to compare a part of a program to last[和谁对应？] one, we can’t make it reverse. In addition, when we enjoy a[n] attractive play[换成TV] series ,we can only enjoy one part every day[per week/regularly?]. How frustrated![似乎不够书面语] If we have no spare  time the next day, we have to miss some part. On the contrary, [连着两个contrary了]a novel can be read everytime and everywhere. Furthermore, the advertisement often bother us. They waste us [too] much time. So learning by watching Tv is inefficient.[论点提得可以，不过后面跑题了]

On the other hand, we can’t learn basic theory via TV. Undoubtedly, basic theory is necessary to us. For example, if only we mastered Newton’ classical physic theory[theories], can we understand how satellite can circle the earth. Without macroeconomic theory, we can only see debate about [the] interest rate, employment, price level [去掉and so on,不用列举很多] but can’t understand the relationship among these data. then in order to learn physic and economics, we have to learn mathematics.[原来重点在这里啊！] Can TV provide us these knowledge? No. Even if it has effectual technology,I t should’t[cannot?] provide us these. As a enterprise, TV station is rational. Their[its] main purpose is maximizing profit instead of educating audiences[audience]. Basic theory[复数] is always tedious, which can’t attract advertisement bill and bring profit to them. So we are doomed [to] fail to learn basic theory via TV.

[总结词] TV has some inherent[ly] superior nature in transmitting information, but it’s impossible to learn as much by watching television as we can by reading books. Of course TV is not the substitution of books.

[主要问题在语法：单数可数名词不能裸奔，以及书面语的运用，尽量不用缩写形式。]
[内容上感觉第一个论点可以分成2条，方便和满足多样化需求]
[路漫漫其修远兮，吾将上下而求索。共勉。]

tianjinxtlUID: 2173942

复杂句型用的帅呆了

15348664UID: 2269142

tianjinxtl 是我马甲。。。见谅