Argument65 @@A DREAM @@小组第3次作业 bynicoleq(廿廿)

nicoleqUID: 2626973

In this argument, the arguer concludes that all of our stores are to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses. To substantiate this claim, the arguer provides that the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin over last year. Moreover, the arguer manifests a survey by Cheeses of the World magazine, which proved that an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. At first glance, the argument might be somehow reasonable, but close scrutiny reveal that this argument is unconvincing.

In the first place, the arguer fails to avoid the flaw of the hasty generalization. The arguer equals the sales of cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin and of all the domestic cheeses. The cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin is best-selling do not necessarily suggest all the domestic cheddar cheeses is also best-selling. It is absolutely possible that people do not like other kind of domestic cheddar cheeses except from Wisconsin. Besides, it is possible that at our newest store as the beginning of busyness there are few kinds of cheese for client choosing. Without ruling out such possibilities, I cannot accept the arguer’s point.

In the second place, the arguer provides a survey by Cheeses of the World magazine which is unscientific. One is that the situation of our newest store unnecessarily same all of our stores. Maybe, the people around the new store more prefer the cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Two is that the respondents is the subscribers of Cheeses of the World magazine who are unrepresentative, the surveyor do not random sample from all client of the store is unscientific. Maybe, in the survey the Cheeses of the World magazine is derivational. Without ruling out such possibilities, I cannot accept the arguer’s point.

In the third place, the survey mentioned in the editorial is severely unreliable. The arguer fails to provide any information concerning Cheeses of the World magazine is authoritative or not. It is entirely possible that the magazine is just a common issue. Besides, there is no assurance the subscribers who preference for domestic cheeses will buy the domestic cheeses. As all the stores are different the arguer provides no assurances that concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses at all of our stores will sell well. For the matter, the arguer’s conclusion is unconvincing.

To sum up, the arguer’s conclusion about all of our stores are to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses is not well supported as it stands. To bolster it, the arguer must provide more evidence. To better assess the problem, I would also need to know the market demand of the cheese.

飘飘zlyUID: 2200552

In this argument, the arguer concludes that all of our stores are to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses. To substantiate this claim, the arguer provides that the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin over last year. Moreover, the arguer manifests a survey by Cheeses of the World magazine, which proved that an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. At first glance, the argument might be somehow reasonable, but close scrutiny reveal that this argument is unconvincing.

In the first place, the arguer fails to avoid the flaw of the hasty generalization. The arguer equals the sales of cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin and of all the domestic cheeses. （是equal...to...吧）The cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin is best-selling do not necessarily suggest（两个谓语） all the domestic cheddar cheeses is also best-selling. It is absolutely possible that people do not like other kind of domestic cheddar cheeses except from Wisconsin. Besides, it is possible that at our newest store as the beginning of busyness there are few kinds of cheese for client choosing. Without ruling out such possibilities, I cannot accept the arguer’s point.（句式要有点变换）

In the second place, the arguer provides a survey by Cheeses of the World magazine which is unscientific. One is that the situation of our newest store unnecessarily same all of our stores. Maybe, the people around the new store more prefer the cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Two is that the respondents is the subscribers of Cheeses of the World magazine who are unrepresentative, the surveyor do not random sample from all client of the store is unscientific. Maybe, in the survey the Cheeses of the World magazine is derivational. Without ruling out such possibilities, I cannot accept the arguer’s point.（我觉得你可以把这两方面写成让步关系）

In the third place, the survey mentioned in the editorial is severely unreliable. The arguer fails to provide any information concerning Cheeses of the World magazine is authoritative or not. It is entirely possible that the magazine is just a common issue. Besides, there is no assurance the subscribers who preference for domestic cheeses will buy the domestic cheeses. As all the stores are different the arguer provides no assurances that concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses at all of our stores will sell well. For the matter, the arguer’s conclusion is unconvincing.

To sum up, the arguer’s conclusion about all of our stores are to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses is not well supported as it stands. To bolster it, the arguer must provide more evidence. To better assess the problem, I would also need to know the market demand of the cheese.

文章对逻辑的攻击还可以，写长句的时候要注意的你谓语，不要两个谓语之间没有连词。文章的连词，和句式也比较单一。