argument173 文章不错，都来学习一下 by imong

eveningboatUID：157918

没时间看语法错误了，自己再查应该能开出来
In this argument, the arguer draws the conclusion that the newsmagazine should decrease its emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying such stories on its magazine covers. To substantiate his conclusion, the arguer cites the experience of another competing news-magazines, and he also assumes a decreasing costs of international bureaus. While this argument seems somewhat specific and plausible at first glance, close inspection would reveal it fraught with vague, oversimplified and unwarranted claims in several aspects.
开头太罗嗦，imong不都对这种开头表达了明确的态度了么？我觉得他说的非常有道理。建议第二句删掉

First of all, the arguer fails to convince us the cause of poorest selling magazine issues is the covers featured by international news. It is presumptuous for the arguer to simply impose all the problems to the covers, because covers is only one features of a magazine, generally speaking, readers may much concern the contents or features of a magazine rather than the covers. Perhaps, the poorest selling lies in the contents of such magazine are out of date or out of people's taste, or because the editorials of judging the national events are not objective enough for the readers to read, therefore, people are reluctant to purchase this international news-covered magazines. Unless the arguer could recognize and rule out other possibilities relevant to the sells of these magazines, the conclusion is quite unfounded.
这一段的反证例子排比的相当不错

In addition, there is no evidence to demonstrate that the competing news-magazines have made progressed or made profits after decreasing the number of cover stories about the international news, and we will not necessarily learn the experience of others. On the contrary, it is much more likely that it is because our competitors cannot maintain its readers in contrast with us that they give up the field of international news-covered magazines. For this reason, it might be just a good opportunity for our magazine to take over the whole market, therefore, the arguer's recommendation that changing the cover is quite open to doubt.

Last but not least, the increasing costs of foreign bureaus to report international news, does not represent we should decrease such kind of costs in order to reducing the whole costs and make profits. First, no evidence is show that this increasing trend will continue and our company cannot afford such an increase, thus the simply reduction of international bureaus is unwise. Granted that the increasing trend will continue in the future, it does not necessarily follow that our company should cut the costs supporting them. Since if reducing the fund of international bureaus, the fact might be that such bureaus could not work effectively and efficiently to report more rapidly. And suppose our magazine is just famous and well known for our international news, without which, how could we still maintain our consumers and compete with other rivals.
精彩啊，令我感到汗颜，这篇文章我也写过，论证的一点都不透彻，而且说不挑语法错误，其实是没看出来呢

To sum up, the argument is neither logically sound nor persuasive. To better bolster and strengthen the argument, the arguer needs to guarantee us that the international news covers is the only reason contribute to the poorest selling and the costs spending on international bureaus is far surpassed beyond their needs. Only with more convincing evidence could this argument become more than just an emotional appeal.

excellent，除了开头有微瑕以外，整篇文章非常非常的精彩，尤其是在30分钟内。放心好了，这种水平的文章绝对6分，ETS的范文都是outstanding的文章，是超过6分的

p.s:文章主体我看了两遍，不是我不想改，是我实在找不到下口咬的地方 :)

eveningboatUID：157918

是的，不用罗列了，过犹不及