jianguo摸考组的第一类题：教育类

胡杨亦UID：160718

154. Both parents and communities must be involved in the local schools. Education is too important to leave solely to a group of professional educators.

Education is so complex and convoluted, such as the character, morality and personality beside the high grade, that the educators can not burden all duties and all-sided facets except the high grades. So, if people can recognize the situation is very emergent and important for cultivate the students in all-facets, parents and communities should involve in the local schools together(开头好,观点明确).

When people mention the education, they would recognize that obtaining the high grades in every course. However, the education involves many facets such as the morality, character, temperate, and so on. In these facets, every facet (两个facet显得重复,是否可改为all these facets)is very important for students to obtain the successful education. The successful education is inculcating students the necessary knowledge and the way how to succeed in their field, they are very vital for people to make success and perfect the personality. For example, the character is a vital factor for a person to succeed in some fields instead of only the high grade or the solid knowledge. Many corporations employ their stuff (staff)commanding that the interviewers have the perfect character and mortality. We can assume that a person, who has abundant acquirement and perfect grades but he/she is very poor in character and mortality, can make great achievements and fortunes for company.(???句子前后矛盾了,是否将assume改为hardly imagine) Every year people will afford the severely loss in computers because of the hackers’ damage, hackers do these detrimental things just for show off their adept technology for satisfying their damage appetite, which is just testify the character is very crucial. So, the education is not the only facet.(例子很好,说明培养能力不是教育唯一的目的)

Moreover, the teacher or educator can only provide the sufficient beneficial knowledge relating student's textbooks and exams instead of omnipotent learning. With the development of the society and economic, the competition become more and more furious and severe. The students have no choice but to get high grades for attaining more excellent and perfect than others and possess their own spheres in society. So, students and educators all involve in how to obtain the high grades, they have no time and no energy to impose other facets such as cultivating the perfect character and mortality and other interesting.

So, the parents and other community are indispensable for student's other facets education. In addition, Parents have the energy and obligatory to cultivate students' character and morality. They should recognize the importance of these facets instead of the only high grades and encourage them to form the mature character and health morality and cultivate them other own interesting. It is well known that people who has the perfect felling status and great health are more important than the students who are always busy in preparing the endless exams which make so nervous and affording heavy burden for obtaining the high grades, The students, who have no good status and condition in every facets become very nervous in everything. However, parents and community always indulge the children and make them only can enjoy the comfortable life and lose the proper attitude for studying. So, the parents and community should control the degree of other education facets.(这段论述比较模糊,是不是先论证父母和社会在教育中的重要性,再论证父母和社会应该怎么样做,如果是这样,最好能分为两段,混在一起感觉层次不是很清晰,不知道我这样理解对不对^_^)

To sum, the education is so important that the parents and communities should participate the local schools for cultivate more perfect and excellent students on every

整篇感觉文字很流畅,但是第三段和第一段说的内容很多是相近的,没有分开层次,可不可以考虑第三段向别的内容发展,如社会的教育可以使学生增长社会交际能力等其他方面,纯属个人意见.文章比我的水平高多了,呵呵,请指教