【09年1月-4月】TOEFL作文互改小组-之【TWE作文】1月20号作业 by roinyou

nirvanahmjUID：2534352

With the advanced technology, people tend(s) to work more efficiently, but much[the] more capacity we have, much[the] more work have been assigned. More and more white-collar workers are suffering from pressure of heavy daily work, and begin to take fast food for their lunch and dinner along[alone] instead of {eating at} home with the family. In my opinion, I firmly disagree {with} this trend. 2 m5 p- A* S. B
First of all, eating with family make much fun and help us relax from work. Much[the] heavier the work burden is, much[the] more we need to share our pressure and unhappiness with the family. Dinner table is just the perfect place to have[make] jokes and share the painful experience. In addition, we also have fun when we prepare (for) food and wash(ing) dishes with {the} family, which we can not experience if we just take fast food along[alone].
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Second, eating at home with family is much more healthy[healthier]. <It is common knowledge that little nutrition does contain in the junk food, such as cola, hamburger or cook>. What is more, much food {producer} may not comply {with} the regulation of health{y} food standards. For example, the hamburger may leave[have] bacteria [left] when the seller take money and deliver food by the same hand.

Last reason why I prefer eating with our family is because it helps us unify our family. Family is the foundational[elemental] unit of our society, and it is responsible for us to take much[more] time to cultivate and get along with our family, and make them happy. (Image this situation), if we are abandoned[apart] from our family, who will support our career and backup us to success. In the modern time[society], with the advent of television, less time have[has] been left for family  {to} share together. If we even lost the opportunity {of eating} with family in[on] the dinner table, we almost have no time with people who is most close to us. 1 w% P) r5 q3 u! U
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To sum up, we have to spare more time to company[accompany] (with) our family for (the) dinner, not only for the union of happy family but also for ourselves, at both aspects of good mood and great health.
（）删除 [ ]替换 { }添加 < >那句看不懂
话说这篇文章滴思路和讨论问题的角度还是很好滴，不过语法和拼写的问题有点小大……
首先，建议下次贴上来之前先放word里面扫下拼写问题。这里只把词改了没有标出
另外，您确定您没学过别的语言诸如法语德语啥的？因为您的语法着实有点小奇怪。不过咱自己语法也不咋滴，改错了您不要打我……
最后，我觉得第一段可以写的再直接简单一点，然后中间段的第二条可以再深入写下，分卫生和营养两个角度。总体来说，五段式弄的还是不错滴！再接再厉哈！