第一次ScoreItNow同主题

tequilawineUID：2702008

In our author's opinion, the utilization of this land which means there will be a school will still make it serve us well in future. Except the less reasoning, we still can find several causal flaws in this arbitrary decision.

In the first place, take a look at the beginning of the passage, what we can know is just about the fact that five years ago, we made a decision to leave the land as an underdeveloped place in order to benefit ourselves, but what we can not conclude is that whether we really get the interest from the action or not. The result of it still being a puzzle for us, i think it's a little bit too early to argue about the further action, because we know no matter it comes out better or worse, yet, it will can not support the conclusion deriving from itself.

That is second point we need to figure it out. Under the assumption is either being better, maybe the most effective way is just to remain the policy without any change, if not, or the other, which means being worse, further more, we need to reconsider it if what we do can revive the place and make the most of it. The discreet stance bases on two stances. What is the reason that cause it brings no more to us, will it still exist, were it to turn into a school? Hasty it maybe without digging more into inner reason. Second come from the new transform. Is it really better for us?

Sometimes, we just can not only focus on the short term income, we need squeeze some room for future that means, although we can not  meet the red sheet at the end, what we got at last is much more worthwhile than it, not even to measure it by money. From this point, i think we can subvert all the author plausible evidence, which is so pale and feeble in front of further probe.

At last, i want to say, to modify the conclusion, we need to put much more surveys in sight, and integrate all the possible factors that may affect that may affect the result.









遇到的难题： 1 感觉写作文的时候，总是怕自己写跑题，同时担心没有抓到重点。

                      2 还有就是在论点的表达上，感觉没有ISSUE自如，不知道怎么回事。
                      3 最后就是对于结构的清晰度不知道怎样把握，是否和ISSUE有共同点。

tequilawineUID：2702008

In our author's opinion, the utilization of this land which means there will be a school will still make it serve us well in future. Except the less reasoning, we still can find several causal flaws in this arbitrary decision.





In the first place, take a look at the beginning of the passage, five years ago we made a decision to leave the land as an underdeveloped place in order to benefit ourselves, yet being absent from telling us the outcome of that action whether it work or not.
As the result is still a conundrum , i think it's a little bit too early to argue about the further action.





Secondly we need some explanation about why TC need to build school there.
Provided no more evidence, the author failed to persuade us to follow the plan. On the one hand, if the former policy works well, maybe the most effective way is just to leave it alone, on the contrast, if not, we need to reconsider what we can do to revive the place and make the most of it. How could you be sure about the plan that changing the place into a school will definitely work out?




With author hypothesis that if we build a school, there won't be any store or shopping mall at the same time, only leaving athletic field. But what the TC promises is only one thing-that is school, meanwhile prosperity of this field comes from the assumption that thereby exists the other thing_athletic field. By confounding the absolutely different concept, you maybe can win over us.





Further more, last but not least, stigma also resides in the possible ways of building other facilities there. I think maybe building a shopping mall can promotes our town income significantly better than school, don't you think so? All this phenomenons are not the problems, the problems is what is the real goal to develop that place, without it, all these stereotype can be scratched immediately.





In summary, to modify the conclusion, we need to put up our main reason on board, offer much more surveys in sight, and integrate all the possible factors that may affect that may affect the result.