作文贴by stoptalking 真的勇士，敢于面对血淋淋的砖头

estopUID：2864494

独立：Do you agree ordisagree with the following statement:; T8 j, z: Y# ?

  The best way to improveeducation is to raise teachers’ salaries.
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I don’t agree that the best way to improve education is to raise teachers’salaries. Although by this way teachers’ enthusiasm might be stimulated, thebasic problem of education still remains unsolved.
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There is no doubt that it is an effective way to improve education by raisingteachers’ salaries. Encouraged by the higher salaries, teachers would like tomake more effort to teach students, such as being more patient with students,paying more attention to students’ problems, and spending more time figuringout the way to be better teachers. It seems that the more teachers areencouraged by higher salaries, the better the education will be. However, wouldthe situation develop as how simple we wish?

这段写的很好很丰富

There are still many problems to solve by raising teachers’ salaries. First ofall, it is teachers’ obligation to teach students well, which should not bemotivated by material incentives. If every improvement in teaching demandsrising of salaries, there is no difference between teachers and businessmen,the one who judge everything in business terms.9 Z

这个是不是第二点？这段开始写There are still many problems to solve by raising teachers’ salaries.，但是内容没有提及problem。

Second, the rising of teachers’ salaries can not guarantee the same rising ofthe quality of education. The improvement of education needs the efforts of thewhole society, including teachers, students, parents and the other socialmembers. Also, the development of education takes a long time, which can not beachieved by a simple method within short time like raising teachers’salaries.  

要丰富一些，举一些例子，感觉这段刚刚开始就结束了。

Therefore, although raising teachers’ salaries is an effective way to improveeducation, there are still lots of problems to solve. As these problems can notbe solved easily, I do not think that raising teachers’ salaries is the bestway to improve education.

文章第一段提到了basic problems，但是后面没有提到，而且既然wage不是最好的办法，是不是提点其他的办法。

从标志词来看，只有两点？但是23段似乎也不是一点。全文字数不够。写作基本功感觉挺好的，内容一定要有例子有解释。

estopUID：2864494

Communal online encyclopediasmay be the future of organizing encyclopedias, because it has many respectslike traditional printed encyclopedias while it is finished online by allinternet users. But the reading passage, questions that the communal onlineencyclopedias still have some serious problems which make them less valuablethan traditional ones.  About these, the lecturer opposes theopinions of the reading passage one by one.  {2 S7 u# s; U
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First, the reading passage argues that onlineencyclopedias lack academic credential, owing many inaccuracies in their cases.But in terms of error, the lecturer points out that comparing with the longtime for traditional encyclopedias to correct their errors, online ones cancorrect their errors more easily and efficient.8 K# m$ V7 t; L" e' [" `

Second, the reading passage doubts the safety of onlineencyclopedias, as everyone has the opportunity to fabricate, delete and corruptthe information of online encyclopedias. The lecturer states that there are twomethods to prevent the information being spoiled, one is using a reliableformat, and another is hiring an editor to obverse the whole correcting.

Third, the reading passage thinks onlineencyclopedias confuse the values of the society, paying too much attention tothe popular things. For lecturer, this is the value of online encyclopedias: reflectingthe true interest of the public and showing the real world.

第一段没必要说的太具体，因为reading 和lecture肯定是相反的，说一个，然后说另外一个相反就行了，没必要吧另外一个也说具体了，要不然第一部分words太多不太好。

综合写作一般来说，7分听力部分3分阅读部分，用一些连接词说明相反就行。要是可以的话，把阅读部分的缩写改写也行。

第三段少了space的说明吧。

estopUID：2864494

8-25独立改完了，有点晚，抱歉