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发表于 2015-4-6 20:14:36 |显示全部楼层

本帖最后由 tesolchina 于 2015-4-6 20:57 编辑

老师，您好，这是我第一次参加回复，我4月11号就要考试了，这篇ISSUE是我上周自己模考PP2的时候写的，完全按照考试时间来的。其中的一些个拼写错误我刚刚自己改过了，想请教一下老师看看我的文章都存在哪些问题，剩下几天有哪些可以做的。十分愧疚，这是第一次考试，作文复习的时间太少了。

[题]A nation should require all of its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college.

【要求】In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

This issue concerns about whether all students in a country are to take the same national curriculum before entering into the college. We could see the cogent claims for taking the same classes, however, it is not the case for all the students. Due to differences in local culture, customers and the personalities of the students, the curriculums should vary according to all these factors.

This issue concerns about 表达有问题

customers指的是什么？

Admittedly, it is very important to have the same curriculums nationwide. First, the same classes reflect a sense of equality in education. It is often the case a child from a rural area, compared to a urban child, cannot speak fluent English and do not know much about the world, although they are at the same age and have the same period of education. It is unfair for the child from the rural area to suffer from the overt gap, especially when they went to the same class in the same university years later. The feel of diffidence may be a tough killer for the young child and hamper the future development of him/hers. Second, a same class arrangement may also be conductive for the teacher to take classes later on. You can imagine that it is hard for a college teacher to teach students with different education background and the efficiency of teaching can also be lowered.

你这样先肯定再转折的写法会导致整篇文章没有一个前后一致的观点
本来看你的主旨句还以为你会从三方面反对命题结果却 ......
剩下几天我建议你尝试一下用1+3模型来写issue

However, that do not means all the students are to take the same classes before college. On the one hand, students from different areas may have their local traditions and culture, it is not wise to set aside these staff. Imagine a student from Tibet, it is not good for the education there doesn't mention the fabulous culture legacy in Tibet and their religion culture. However, if these are taught in Guangdong, students there may be confused because they are not exposed to these traditions. On the other hand, if all the students are to take the same classes, their own personalities and innovative ideas are to be held back. It is not good for an innovative society to embrace the innovative talent and for the college to cultivate innovative future giants.

As a result, in my opinion, it is important for all the students to have the same classes nationwide with specific modification based on the native culture and the characteristics of the students. Thus the potential of different students could be fully tapped and the equality of education could be achieved.

All in all, there is rare thing in the world that is absolute. A uniform could be of great help in managing all the involvers, yet, this convenience is not as important as the final achievement of the goal. For education, our final goal is to foster talents for the society and make everyone plays a part in the society, so the appropriate modification is important based on the same classes.

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