9月1日至9月6日同主题写作

xiulin2015UID：3609356

The argument insisted that it is a mistake to replace Delany Personnel Firm by Walsh Personnel Firm because Walsh hired by XYZ couldn’t aid all but only half of their workers after their contracts with XYZ had been over to find jobs eight years ago and takes 9 months to get those employees hired whereas Delany is found to make great contributions to the same type of employees to find jobs efficiently within 6 months nowadays with sufficient manpower and widely spread branch offices. The argument would be weakened by further investigations on what added values they can create for clients and how many the highly professional consultant with sophisticated network they have.   

Whether Delany provides effective service to XYZ laid-off workers or not are not necessarily decided by the service itself but the employees’ own competencies. Laid-off employees who seek help from Delany are those with high professional qualifications and technical skills. They are more easily to find jobs even without Delany’s service. Comparatively, the others without assistance from Delany lack of displaceable skills and experience and it is hard to find jobs even aided by the agency. Additionally, the society has been changed dramatically during 8 years and the job market might not be as small as that in eight years ago due to the technology development and the industrial prosperity.

Secondly, whether Delany is more advantageous than Walsh doesn’t rely on the scale of the companies and number of staff. It is true that the size and scale of company can demonstrate its strength but it is just sided perception. Delany might be newly established with sufficient fund at this stage but it takes time for them to polish their assistant service along with accumulated experience as well as its selection of skillful and intelligent HR consultants. Notwithstanding Walsh’s smaller number of staff, it has absorbed the best consultants with sophisticated network from certain industries and can help the needed staff to get more stable and rewarding jobs than Delany can do. As such, more reports on the re-employment should be worked out to support further evaluation between the two Personnel companies. Furthermore, Delany might not be able to help people who refused to be relocated to another city from the place where XYZ stated and the branch offices in other cities couldn’t do good to the clients’ intention.   
In a nutshell, XYZ needs to go through more depth understanding about the service each personnel company can provide and tailor up a more matched plan to the current situation of their laid-off personnel so that they can know whether the choice of service is more preferred by their staff.

xiulin2015UID：3609356

In the memo, it is argued that Buzzoff should be selected over Fly-away as the pest control service provider to reduce pest damage. 这是一个比较简洁的版本 
改寫：In the note, it is believed that Buzzoff is more advantageous than Fly-away as for the reduced pest damage via the former’s pest control service.

The vice president contends that the company should engage Buzzoff for pest control instead of Fly-away.  To support his choice, he compares the values of food loss in the warehouses served by the two companies and believes Buzzoff could help save money despite its higher price.  这个版本比较全面 
改寫：The vice president expressed his intention that the company should engage Buzzoff for pest control rather than Fly-away. To strengthen his point of view, he does comparison between the two companies on the cost of food loss in the warehouses managed respectively and draw the conclusion that Buzzoff could effectively decrease the loss in spite of its more expensive charge of service.  
我的版本： The argument claims that Buzzoff Pest Control company is a better choice to manage the referred warehouse in Palm city than Fly-Away Pest Control company because the former only had $10,000 worth of the food stored in the warehouse in Wintervale destroyed by pest damage last month, which is half of the loss in Palm city manged by the latter.

我的反省：Too many details in my version and it is not necessary to include the specific locations of warehouse in the introductory paragraph. Actually it should be condensed into the way how the conclusion comes out. The other thing is about the subjects and verbs used in the paragraph. I never thought the aforementioned wordings.