9月1日至9月6日同主题写作

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

9月的第一次练习，时间比较充裕。除了列提纲、写全文，我们来一起做同义转换练习。

2. Hiring or consumption decisions (4, 14<118>, 44, 48, 73, 78<114, 116, 117>, 86<89>, 69<70, 115>, 142, 168, 77<169>, 170)   
114) The following appeared in a memo from the vice president of a food distribution company with food storage warehouses in several cities.

Recently, we signed a contract with the Fly-Away Pest Control Company to provide pest control services at our warehouse in Palm City, but last month we discovered that over $20,000 worth of food there had been destroyed by pest damage. Meanwhile, the Buzzoff Pest Control Company, which we have used for many years in Palm City, continued to service our warehouse in Wintervale, and last month only $10,000 worth of the food stored there had been destroyed by pest damage. Even though the price charged by Fly-Away is considerably lower, our best means of saving money is to return to Buzzoff for all our pest control services.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

请根据上面的memo，写一句话概括论证的主要观点、论据和理由。写完后可以回帖看参考答案，并将自己的答案和参考答案作比较，写一些反省文字。

游客，如果您要查看本帖隐藏内容请回复

TaylorWUID: 3668665

115) The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of a large, highly diversified company.

Ten years ago our company had two new office buildings constructed as regional headquarters for two different regions. The buildings were erected by two different construction companies Alpha and Zeta. Even though the two buildings had identical floor plans, the building constructed by Zeta cost 30 percent more to build, and its expenses for maintenance last year were twice those of the building constructed by Alpha. Furthermore, the energy consumption of the Zeta building has been higher than that of the Alpha building every year since its construction. Such data, plus the fact that Alpha has a stable workforce with little employee turnover, indicate that we should use Alpha rather than Zeta for our contemplated new building project.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

提纲：
Claim: Zeta charges more than the building really cost and their building is in poor quality.
Data: A comparison of construction and maintenance costs of two buildings.
Warrant: The building constructed by Zeta cost 30 percent more to build, and its expenses for maintenance last year were twice those of the building constructed by Alpha.
Assumption: The building materials prices in two regions are the same. (If Zeta spend more money on materials, the total budget is higher.)  
These two buildings suffer the same weather circumstances in two region. (If the region where Zeta built the building suffer much more rainfall a year, the maintenance should be higher because they have to repair roof more frequently)

Claim: Zeta’s building cost more energy than Alpha’s
Data: Energy consumption comparison between buildings constructed by Alpha and Zeta.
Warrant: the energy consumption of the Zeta building has been higher than that of the Alpha building every year since its construction.
Assumption: Climate in two regions are the same.

Claim: Alpha has a stable workforce
Data: Not given
Warrant: Little employee turnover in Alpha
Assumption: The employee who didn’t leave Alpha are work well and provide enough workforce.

全文：
In the memo, the writer recommend that they should hire Alpha rather than Zeta for their new building project claiming that Alpha is a better contractor for it performed better in their last cooperation. The writer suggest that Alpha provided a better quality building with less budget and its workforce is more stable. While the reasoning of this argument is unconvincing if those assumptions about building budgets, energy costs and companies’ workforce proved to be unwarranted. And the writer’s recommendation will be seriously challenged.

First of all, the author claim that Zeta charged more but provide poor quality contracture. When Alpha and Zeta are asked to build the same layout buildings in two regions, Zeta spend more and Alpha do and its maintenance fee is even higher. Such recommendation relies heavily on the assumption that the building materials prices are the same in two regions. Based on such an assumption, the author conclude Zeta is less reliable in business and shouldn’t be chosen as contractor for their new project. However, Zeta and Alpha built buildings in two regions there is a possibility that it is the prices in materials cause the budget difference. In addition. We are not informed about the weather in these places ,which apparently could be factor of prolonging construction schedule and further maintenance.  For instance if more rains happened in the place where Zeta built the building, construction process could be slowed down and they have to repair the roof more often. In that case, the author’s reasoning will be weaken.

Furthermore, by stating that the energy consumption of Zeta building is higher, the author rules out that Zeta build environment-unfriendly building and should be offer a second chance as their contractor. However, the author made an assumption that these two buildings suffer the same climate. Because if Zeta’s building is located in a cold place , people need to use heater or air conditioner to keep warm. In fact, building’s energy consuming is more based on climate and people’s need. Since the climate information is missing. We cannot attribute it to Zeta’s construction mistake. In addition, we are not informed about how many people are there in those two buildings. The comparison of energy consuming might be bias. Therefore, the authors reasoning is questionable.

Moreover, Even if the assumptions mentioned above are valid, the writer’s recommendation could be doubtful due to the assumption regarding the Alpha’s employees keeps its workforce stable. Claiming that Alpha’s workforce is more stable with the evidence that less alpha’s employee turnover, the author lead us to a conclusion that Alpha is a better option as a contractor. Workforce doesn’t depend on rate of reassignment but qualified employees. It is unreasonable to assume that the employees remain staying in Alpha are efficient and it is them keeping the workforce stable. For there is a possibility that the qualified employees left Alpha for better opportunities and the ones remains just dawdle around. Zeta, on the other hand, has a more fluctuate rate of unemployment, it is possible that they fired unqualified workers and hire good ones. If so, the author’s claim will be seriously challenged.

To summarize, whether or not we should implement the writer’s recommendation depends greatly on the validity of the assumptions in the argument. If these assumptions prove unwarranted, then the recommendation will be little more than the writer’s wishful thinking, and accordingly we need to completely consider the ways to value a qualified constructor.

114）同义转换：
The memo above claim that they should change their pest control contractor from Fly-Away to Buzzoff for the reason that since they hire Fly-Away in Palm City, the food lost increase to $20,000 per month .But back then when they cooperate with Buzzoff in Wintervalue, the lost was only $10,000 per month.

反省：
漏掉了一个信息就是F公司比B公司价格便宜。
具体数据data可以省略。
问题的主人vice president 没有表达出来。
参考答案的select over，engage A instead of B 已加入toolbox。
句型To support one’s choice/assumption/recommendation, he (do A) and (do B). GET!

就是張小蜜UID: 3528528

請問怎麼參加寫作活動

就是張小蜜UID: 3528528

就是張小蜜 发表于 2017-9-3 08:35
請問怎麼參加寫作活動

找到了之前王老師的帖子所以大約了解了怎麼參加 抱歉很唐突的就po文問了

JackitUID: 3394331

就是張小蜜 发表于 2017-9-3 08:38
找到了之前王老師的帖子所以大約了解了怎麼參加 抱歉很唐突的就po文問了

https://bbs.gter.net/thread-2111207-1-1.html

SylviaMengyayaUID: 3693199

It is recommended in the memo from the vice president of a food distribution company that returning to Buzzoff for all pest control is the best way to save money as less food stored suffered pest damage with it than that with Fly-away pest control.

反思：
感觉自己写的大部分重点信息都有包含，不过less food 与原文中的信息有点不对等，原文强调的是food的价值，感觉我强调的是quantity。相比之下，老师的第二个版本表达的更为准确~

芸乔UID: 3596115

同义转换练习：

We have to use Buzzoff Pest Control Company rather than Fly-Away to control the pest damage, because food serviced by Buzzoff saved much as $10,000 worth of the food than Fly-Away did last month.


反思：
信息不够全，没有写明资料来源。一些短语不知道动名词怎么搭配。要多积累表达。介词的用法也要注意。

国产耗子UID: 3484678

The vice president recommend choosing Buzzoff for their pest control instead of Fly-Away in order to save money with the belief that the latter would cause more pest damage than Buzzoff.

丽丽酱香饼UID: 3764419

Arg 4 choice of real estate agent

The following appeared in a letter from a homeowner to a friend.

Of the two leading real estate firms in our town Adams Realty and Fitch Realty Adams Realty is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents; in contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom work only part-time. Moreover, Adams' revenue last year was twice as high as that of Fitch and included home sales that averaged $168,000, compared to Fitch's $144,000. Homes listed with Adams sell faster as well: ten years ago I listed my home with Fitch, and it took more than four months to sell; last year, when I sold another home, I listed it with Adams, and it took only one month. Thus, if you want to sell your home quickly and at a good price, you should use Adams Realty.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

According to this letter, a homeowner recommends his friend choose Adams Realty to sell home because this company has more real estate agents, has higher revenue last year, and had a record of selling home faster. Though it seems plausible, there are some assumptions have been made by the author which need to be examined critically. Only after that could his friend determine whether this advice should be taken or not

TS1: to begin with, the author assumes that real estate agents are more efficient than part-time workers.
Eg1: full-time agents depend on their work in real estate to earn their living, so their salaries are much higher than part-time agents, which means that larger part of the money a client pay for the estate actually pay for the agents of the Adams Realty.
Eg2: part-time agents have more time to communicate with people from other fields which gives them more chance to find out potential consumers.

Ts2: secondly, Adams Realty had higher revenue and higher average home price last year do not indicate this company could offer his friend a good price.
Eg1: one-year success is not enough to show a company’s real competence. We should look at a long period. What if Adams Realty just got a good luck and Fitch Realty was making an adjustment of their consuming strategies?
Eg2: higher average home price does not promise a good profit for homeowners. They may need to pay more to the estate company and pay higher tax.

TS3: what is more, the author offers his own experience of selling home in Fitch Realty ten years ago and in Adams Realty one year ago, which assumes that in ten year the home price is comparable.
Eg1: firstly, home price in different time is various. Current inflation and people’s need of money are changing
Eg2: we also need the information about the two houses sold through Adams Realty and Fitch Realty; different situation, district

xiulin2015UID: 3609356

The argument insisted that it is a mistake to replace Delany Personnel Firm by Walsh Personnel Firm because Walsh hired by XYZ couldn’t aid all but only half of their workers after their contracts with XYZ had been over to find jobs eight years ago and takes 9 months to get those employees hired whereas Delany is found to make great contributions to the same type of employees to find jobs efficiently within 6 months nowadays with sufficient manpower and widely spread branch offices. The argument would be weakened by further investigations on what added values they can create for clients and how many the highly professional consultant with sophisticated network they have.   

Whether Delany provides effective service to XYZ laid-off workers or not are not necessarily decided by the service itself but the employees’ own competencies. Laid-off employees who seek help from Delany are those with high professional qualifications and technical skills. They are more easily to find jobs even without Delany’s service. Comparatively, the others without assistance from Delany lack of displaceable skills and experience and it is hard to find jobs even aided by the agency. Additionally, the society has been changed dramatically during 8 years and the job market might not be as small as that in eight years ago due to the technology development and the industrial prosperity.

Secondly, whether Delany is more advantageous than Walsh doesn’t rely on the scale of the companies and number of staff. It is true that the size and scale of company can demonstrate its strength but it is just sided perception. Delany might be newly established with sufficient fund at this stage but it takes time for them to polish their assistant service along with accumulated experience as well as its selection of skillful and intelligent HR consultants. Notwithstanding Walsh’s smaller number of staff, it has absorbed the best consultants with sophisticated network from certain industries and can help the needed staff to get more stable and rewarding jobs than Delany can do. As such, more reports on the re-employment should be worked out to support further evaluation between the two Personnel companies. Furthermore, Delany might not be able to help people who refused to be relocated to another city from the place where XYZ stated and the branch offices in other cities couldn’t do good to the clients’ intention.   
In a nutshell, XYZ needs to go through more depth understanding about the service each personnel company can provide and tailor up a more matched plan to the current situation of their laid-off personnel so that they can know whether the choice of service is more preferred by their staff.

xiulin2015UID: 3609356

In the memo, it is argued that Buzzoff should be selected over Fly-away as the pest control service provider to reduce pest damage. 这是一个比较简洁的版本 
改寫：In the note, it is believed that Buzzoff is more advantageous than Fly-away as for the reduced pest damage via the former’s pest control service.

The vice president contends that the company should engage Buzzoff for pest control instead of Fly-away.  To support his choice, he compares the values of food loss in the warehouses served by the two companies and believes Buzzoff could help save money despite its higher price.  这个版本比较全面 
改寫：The vice president expressed his intention that the company should engage Buzzoff for pest control rather than Fly-away. To strengthen his point of view, he does comparison between the two companies on the cost of food loss in the warehouses managed respectively and draw the conclusion that Buzzoff could effectively decrease the loss in spite of its more expensive charge of service.  
我的版本： The argument claims that Buzzoff Pest Control company is a better choice to manage the referred warehouse in Palm city than Fly-Away Pest Control company because the former only had $10,000 worth of the food stored in the warehouse in Wintervale destroyed by pest damage last month, which is half of the loss in Palm city manged by the latter.

我的反省：Too many details in my version and it is not necessary to include the specific locations of warehouse in the introductory paragraph. Actually it should be condensed into the way how the conclusion comes out. The other thing is about the subjects and verbs used in the paragraph. I never thought the aforementioned wordings.

yorkyanUID: 3835290

嘿嘿·~拜见大神~~

国产耗子UID: 3484678

哎？为什么我看不到我之前发的作文……是被删了么？:O

国产耗子UID: 3484678

“不好意思那天回复了别的帖子，发错了”

我的同义转换：

转换第一次：The vice president recommends choosing Buzzoff for their pest control instead of Fly-Away in order to save money with the belief that the latter would cause more pest damage than Buzzoff.

转换第二次：The vice president recommends the company choosing Buzzoff in stead of Fly-away for pest control, and compares the loss of pest damage in the warehouses of both companies with the belief that Fly-away would cost more money even though its lower price.

（答案一）In the memo, it is argued that Buzzoff should be selected over Fly-away as the pest control service provider to reduce pest damage.

（答案二）The vice president contends that the company should engage Buzzoff for pest control instead of Fly-away.  To support his choice, he compares the values of food loss in the warehouses served by the two companies and believes Buzzoff could help save money despite its higher price.  

(答案三) According to the vice president, Buzzoff should be hired to control the pest because the company lost less food in terms of money value in a warehouse served by Buzzoff than a warehosue managed by Fly-away. Even though the services provided by Fly-away is cheaper, the vice president insists that Buzzway can help the company save more money.  

自评：跟简洁版比较我觉得我同意转换的还可以，王老师的“… recommend … ing…in order to….with the belief that…..” 帮了大忙 ：）跟全面版比差了些。有想到原文说A比B多，那我就说B比A少好了这一点。对于连接词汇还是知道的太少了。

114) The following appeared in a memo from the vice president of a food distribution company with food storage warehouses in several cities.( 78 114 116 117)

Recently, we signed a contract with the Fly-Away Pest Control Company to provide pest control services at our warehouse in Palm City, but last month we discovered that over $20,000 worth of food there had been destroyed by pest damage. Meanwhile, the Buzzoff Pest Control Company, which we have used for many years in Palm City, continued to service our warehouse in Wintervale, and last month only $10,000 worth of the food stored there had been destroyed by pest damage. Even though the price charged by Fly-Away is considerably lower, our best means of saving money is to return to Buzzoff for all our pest control services.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

提纲

Claim: our best means of saving money is to return to Buzzoff for all our pest control services.
Data:The loss at Buzzoff’s site is less than the loss at the site of Fly-away.
Warrant: The ability for B to control pests is much better than F.

Question: What is the percentage for warehouse served by each pest-control company? 我只想到这一点，作为一段太单薄了就参考了老师的
Is pest-control by Buzzoff more effective than pest-control by Fly-away?            
e.g. percentage/different kinds of pest in different area／different weather
        

Claim: our best means of saving money is to return to Buzzoff for all our pest control services.
Data:The loss at Buzzoff’s site last month is less than the loss at the site of Fly-away last month.
Warrant: The ability for B to control pests is much better than F.

Question: Is it adequate to compare the amount of loss just in one month?

Claim: our best means of saving money is to return to Buzzoff for all our pest control services.
Data:The loss at Buzzoff’s site last month is less than the loss at the site of Fly-away last month.
Warrant: B can handle all of the work for this company’s pest control services.

Question: Is B available to handle all of service area this company has? E.g. staff/timing/ability/license….


全文：The vice president recommends the company Choosing Buzzoff in stead of Fly-away for all of their pest control in order to save money and have good control effect, with the belief that the latter would cause more loss than Buzzoff. While the conclusion is what the company wished for, there are a number of questions about the effectiveness of pest control, the usefulness of the data from last month, and the ability for Buzzoff to handle all the business of the company.

To begin with, we should ask is pest-control more effective served by Buzzoff than that by Fly-Away? Even though the vice president mentions that the loss from last month served by Buzzoff is lass than Fly-Away, we are not sure if the way Buzzoff using to control pest is more effective. Chances are the pest are different in different area. In Fly-Away’s site, the pest is hard to control than the pest in Buzzoff’s site. Also, it is possible that the weather in Buzzoff’s site easy for them to do pest control. Moreover, we should ask what is the percentage for the loss caused by pest control. If the percentage of Buzzoff’s site’s loss is way more than Fly-away’s, why the company should choose Buzzoff?

In addition, another question needed to be answered that is it adequate to using the data for loss just collecting in one month? Even if the percentage can prove Buzzoff’s work is more effective last month, we don’t know what will be in one year or even longer. What if the loss per year served by Buzzoff is more than that served by Fly-away? It is not doubt that this company had better not choose Buzzoff just by one-month data.

The final question to ask if the ability are good enough for Buzzoff to handle all of service area from this company. Even if Buzzoff can do very well in Palm City, it can’t prove that they can handle all the services from this company. Do they have enough staff with excellent skills to control different kinds of pest? Do they license in different area to do pest control? It is possible that Buzzoff don’t have enough staff with license but Fly-Away has. At this point,  it is not necessary for this vice president to choose Buzzoff.

In conclusion, a lot of questions needed to be ask if the vice president want to make a good decision。

bigheiniuUID: 3814202

In order to save money, this food distribution company choose Buzzoff for all their pest control services.

- 论据: Serivce offered by Buzzoff Pest Control Company is better than the Fly-Away Pest Control Company.
- 理由: The lost money due to the pest damage in Palm city which was controlled by Fly-Away was more than in Wintervale by Buzzoff.


- 论据: The lower price offered by Fly-Away cannot offset the money losed in food damage.
- 理由: ten thousand dollars can vote for which one is better for protecting the food.

- 论据: The comparision of these company is under the same condition.
- 理由: the president just simply make compare the two companies lose.