argument同主题写作第二类 8月16-17日

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144)  The citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles. Their responses to a recent survey show that in their eating habits they conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago. Furthermore, there has been a fourfold increase in sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that a scientific study has shown reduces cholesterol. This trend is also evident in reduced sales of sulia, a food that few of the healthiest citizens regularly eat.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

Claim: The citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles.
Data: Their responses to a recent survey show that in their eating habits they conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago.
Warrant: (having an eating habit which is close to the government recommendation means a healthier lifestyle) implied
Assumptions:
1)        The survey is persuasive and objective
2)        The survey did ten years ago is credible
3)        The eating habit which is close to the government recommendation is healthier

Claim: The citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles.
Data: there has been a fourfold increase in sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that a scientific study has shown reduces cholesterol
Warrant: (the increase in the sales of food products containing kiran in Forsythe indicates the healthful lifestyles of citizens) implied
Assumptions:
1)        It is people’s concern about healthful lifestyles that leads the increasing sales of healthful food products, such as the one containing kiran
2)        The increase in the sales of food products containing kiran is significant enough in amount and benefited many of the citizens
3)        The reduction of cholesterol means healthful

Claim: The citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles.
Data: the reduced sales of sulia, a food that few of the healthiest citizens regularly eat.
Warrant: The decline in sales of suila has proven the trend of advocating healthy lifestyles in Forsythe
Assumption:
1)        The foods that few of the healthiest citizens regularly eat are unhealthful
2)        The decline in sales of suila shows people's attention to health

Introductory paragraph
The author argues that the citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles. A number of assumptions have been made about the recent survey concerning eating habits of citizens, and the sales records of two types of food. We need to examine these assumptions carefully to decide if the argument is reasonable.

Middle paragraph
To begin with, it is assumed that the surveys about citizens’ eating habits could draw the conclusion that the city residents adopted more healthful lifestyles than they did ten years ago. It’s not clear, however, the scope and validity of that survey. For one thing, could these sampled respondents truly represent the Forsythe citizens? If the respondents were mainly from a particular socioeconomic class or the amount of respondents was not big enough, for example, the survey results could not be generalized to the entire population in Forsythe. For another thing, is the eating habit which is close to the government recommendation healthier? As we all known, the standard for a healthful lifestyle is not unique. Even if this survey could prove that people's eating habits are closer to the government nutritional recommendations, the author cannot say that people's lifestyles are healthier without scientific research. Unless the survey is fully representative, valid, and reliable, it cannot be used to effectively back the authors’ argument.


5楼同学的习作点评
1. 您的开头段写的不错，很有条理，讲明了作者的的几个主要论据，然后依次列出四个需要被回答的问题，便于组织文章的结构，我要向你学习。但是陈述作者结论的时候第一句和第二句的后半句显得就有点重复了，可以把一二句组合在一起，作为对全文逻辑结构的简单复述。
2. 中间段
1） 语言显得比第一段弱了一点（比如draw to a conclusion，应该没有to吧）
2） 好像在哪里看到过用cannot 比can’t正式一些(仅供参考)
3） 倒数第二句应该是对政府推荐的健康性以及现在的饮食习惯更健康了做出让步（承认），所以这里的less应该有问题吧…
4) 这一段的论述比我的文章内容要丰富的多，感觉自己废话太多了。向你学习