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[主题活动] argument同主题写作第二类 8月16-17日 [复制链接]

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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

发表于 2017-8-11 12:45:01 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 tesolchina 于 2017-8-18 11:54 编辑

第二组的argument同主题练习,只涉及较少的题目,训练的重点是写开头段和中间段。
1. 请观看Lecture 5 Writing Introductory and body paragraphs for GRE arguments

2. 选取第二类argument的其中一篇完成claim-data-warrant分析
3. 根据以上的分析及Lecture 5的内容写出完整的开头段和一个中间段。

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寄托兑换店纪念章 US-applicant 19周年勋章

发表于 2017-8-12 12:06:52 |显示全部楼层
Arg 1 Palean Basket unique

Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea and therefore were believed to have been made only by the Palean people. Recently, however, archaeologists discovered such a 'Palean' basket in Lithos, an ancient village across the Brim River from Palea. The Brim River is very deep and broad, and so the ancient Paleans could have crossed it only by boat, and no Palean boats have been found. Thus it follows that the so-called Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

53) The following appeared in a health magazine.

The citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles. Their responses to a recent survey show that in their eating habits they conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago. Furthermore, there has been a fourfold increase in sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that a scientific study has shown reduces cholesterol. This trend is also evident in reduced sales of sulia, a food that few of the most healthy citizens regularly eat.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

144) The citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles. Their responses to a recent survey show that in their eating habits they conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago. Furthermore, there has been a fourfold increase in sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that a scientific study has shown reduces cholesterol. This trend is also evident in reduced sales of sulia, a food that few of the healthiest citizens regularly eat.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

151) Benton City residents have adopted healthier lifestyles. A recent survey of city residents shows that the eating habits of city residents conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago. During those ten years, local sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that a scientific study has shown reduces cholesterol, have increased fourfold, while sales of sulia, a food rarely eaten by the healthiest residents, have declined dramatically. Because of these positive changes in the eating habits of Benton City residents, we predict that the obesity rate in the city will soon be well below the national average.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.

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发表于 2017-8-16 10:10:24 |显示全部楼层
1)
Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea and therefore were believed to have been made only by the Palean people. Recently, however, archaeologists discovered such a 'Palean' basket in Lithos, an ancient village across the Brim River from Palea. The Brim River is very deep and broad, and so the ancient Paleans could have crossed it only by boat, and no Palean boats have been found. Thus it follows that the so-called Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

claim: woven baskets have been made only by the Palean people
data: woven baskets have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea
warrant: the place where they have previously found woven baskets must be the origin
evidence: 1. the correlation between the particular pattern of the basket and the local culture and ritual; 2. the word or picture records in Palea such as hieroglyph describing the process of making the basket

claim: ancient Paleans could not cross the Brim River
data: the river is so broad that someone can cross it only by boat which have not been found in Palea
warrant: there was no boat in Palea and the river at that time could cross only by boat
evidence: 1. other river-crossing methods, such as the vestige of bridge; 2. geographical conditions in the ancient about the river (width and depth)

claim: the so-called Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean
data: a such Palean basket was discovered in Litho
warrant: there was no way to send basket from Palean to Litho
evidence: 1. other methods at that time to send basket from Palean to Litho; 2. related records about the transportation of this kind of basket


Intro
In this argument, it is concluded that the baskets which were previously only found in Palea were not only belong to Palean people, since that a same basket was also found in Lithos and the possibility that this basket found in Lithos was from Palea has been ruled out because of the broad and wide river between them. However, in order to fully evaluate this argument, it requires a significant amount of additional evidence about the associate records, geographical and weather conditions at that time and vestige of river-crossing method. With the extra evidence, the argument could end up being much weaker than it seems, or it might actually be quite valid.



Ts2:
It is assumed that the basket found in Lithos could not be from Palea because there was no way to cross the Brim River based on given evidence. However, in view of the limited information, there are other possible scenarios. For example, the river between these two places at that time might not as the same as what it is now. Geographical conditions about the Brim River in the ancient is required to assess the argument. If the river was so narrow and shallow that people could easily cross it on foot or even there was no river at all, the argument would be groundless. Even if there was a broad and deep river, the evidence of prestige of bridge by which people could cross this river could likewise weaken the argument.

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发表于 2017-8-16 14:13:02 |显示全部楼层
Arg 1 Palean Basket unique

Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea and therefore were believed to have been made only by the Palean people. Recently, however, archaeologists discovered such a 'Palean' basket in Lithos, an ancient village across the Brim River from Palea. The Brim River is very deep and broad, and so the ancient Paleans could have crossed it only by boat, and no Palean boats have been found. Thus it follows that the so-called Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

Claim: Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean.
Data: Recently, however, archaeologists discovered such a 'Palean' basket in Lithos, an ancient village across the Brim River from Palea. The Brim River is very deep and broad, and so the ancient Paleans could have crossed it only by boat, and no Palean boats have been found.
Warrant: so-called Palean baskets were developed independently in both Palea and Lithos.

Evidence:
1.Same origin.
There may be earthquakes producing a broad river cut Palea into two villages, so the same pattern on woven baskets can be found in Lithos across the Brim River.
2.Land modificaiton.
It is possible that the Brim River was not as deep and broad as it is today when people in Palea and Lithos could easily communicate the same pattern on woven baskets. So they didn’t use boat to go across the river.
3.More archaeology evidence about boat.
No Palean boats have been found doesn’t mean that the boats were not exist, further archaeology found should be done.

开头段:
According to the passage, the Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean. Because archaeologists discovered such a 'Palean' basket in Lithos, a village across the Brim River from Palea. Since the Brim River is too deep and broad to be crossed and no Palean boats have been found, so-called Palean baskets were developed independently in both Palea and Lithos. There are some evidence should be used to scrutinize the argument critically, to assess the strength of the argument.
中间段:
To begin with, the statement indicates that archaeologists discovered such a 'Palean' basket in Lithos, a village across also the Brim River from Palea would lead to two different origins of particular distinctive pattern on woven baskets. Neglecting land modification, it assumes that the land form near Palea has not changed after the emerging of particular distinctive pattern on woven baskets. While it is possible that a earthquake produced a broad river cut Palea into two villages, so the same pattern on woven baskets can be found in Lithos across the Brim River. If the land modification be proved by further archaeology evidence, the statement will be weakened.

In addition, overlooking water fluctuation, the argument assumes that the river has not changed in so many years. We need to take the possibility of fluctuation of the Brim River into account. It is possible that the Brim River was not as deep and broad as it is today when people could easily deliver the pattern on woven baskets to Lithos from Palea. To go across a shallow river, the ancient people didn’t need boat. If more geographic evidence be evacuated, this assumption may be questioned.

Another assumption in the argument is no Palean boats have been found means the boats were not exist nor the communication between Palea and Lithos. As we all know that in ancient society the boats were made of wood which is easy to be destroyed, if there were boats used by ancient people around the Palean and Lithos not been found, the communication between Palea and Lithos should not be denied so imprudently.
结尾:
In conclusion, it is too abrupt to assert the Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean. The assumptions discussed above should be critically examined by taking into account more archaeology evidence such as the land modification, water fluctuation and boat residues.  
感觉用来论证的专门用语还是不够多,来回就这么两种句式,我都觉得自己像个机器人,写的干巴巴。也有逻辑方面的缺点吧,继续练吧。
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发表于 2017-8-16 14:26:33 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 kyika 于 2017-8-17 20:38 编辑

151) Benton City residents have adopted healthier lifestyles. A recent survey of city residents shows that the eating habits of city residents conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago. During those ten years, local sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that a scientific study has shown reduces cholesterol, have increased fourfold, while sales of sulia, a food rarely eaten by the healthiest residents, have declined dramatically. Because of these positive changes in the eating habits of Benton City residents, we predict that the obesity rate in the city will soon be well below the national average.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.

A recent survey of city residents shows that the eating habits of city residents conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago.
Claim; Benton City residents have adopted healthier lifestyles
data: the eating habits of city residents conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago.
warrant: (more closely to government nutritional recommendations means healthier.)
Question: Whether the eating habits of citizens ten years ago healthier than the government nutritional recommendations or not?
Evidence: information about whether the government nutritional recommendations is the healthiest eating style.
Assumption:  Getting more close to government nutritional recommendations means healthier.

During those ten years, local sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that a scientific study has shown reduces cholesterol, have increased fourfold, while sales of sulia, a food rarely eaten by the healthiest residents, have declined dramatically.
claim: Benton City residents’ eating habits are becoming healthier.
data: local sales of food products containing kiran have increased fourfold. Sales of sulia have declined dramatically.
warrant: kiran and sulia can reflect the consumption of all the healthy and unhealthy food.
Question: Is other healthy food becoming more welcome? Is other unhealthy food becoming less welcome?
Assumption: Benton City residents are eating more healthy food and less unhealthy food than ten years ago.
Evidence: Information about the sale of all the healthy and unhealthy food.

Because of these positive changes in the eating habits of Benton City residents, we predict that the obesity rate in the city will soon be well below the national average.
Claim: obesity rate in the city will soon be well below the national average
data: Benton City residents’ eating habits are healthier than before.
warrant: Health eating habits can decrease obesity rate.
Question:         Is the obesity caused by unhealthy eating habits? Is there any other important factor relative to obesity? Is healthy eating habits effective to treat obesity?
Evidence: The reason of high obesity rate.
Assumption: High obesity rate is caused by unhealthy eating habits and can be cured by changing eating habits.

According to author, the obesity rate of Benton city will soon below average owing to the healthier eating style citizens adopt. Citing to comparison of citizens’ eating habits to government recommendations and data about sales of kiran and sulia, the writer try to prove it. A number of questions should be answered in order to evaluate the argument, such as whether the government nutritional recommendations was healthier than the eating habits ten years ago, whether the survey is reliable , whether healthy food becomes more welcome recently and what caused the obesity rate above average. Without the answer to questions above, we can’t come to the conclusion that the obesity rate will drop in the near future.

To begin with, we need to know whether Benton city residents are adopting healthier eating habits than before. Only that they are eating healthier, we can believe that maybe the obesity rate will decrease. Though the survey claim that their eating habits conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations, we don’t know the details of recommendations so that we can’t draw  a conclusion that more close to it means healthier. In addition, we want to ask whether the eating habits ten years ago is less healthy than the recommendations. If not, that survey argued that eating habits becoming more closely to the recommendations actually means they are eating less healthy and we still can’t come to a conclusion of decrease of obesity rate. Given the recommendations are standard of healthy diet and eating habits ten years ago are less healthy than it, the author need to answer questions about the reliability about the survey, such as how many residents are being investigate, can the participants reflect the eating habits on average and how to decide whether their eating habits is close to recommendations. Without the answers to these question, one can’t rely on the survey and conclude that residents are eating healthier.






东扯扯同学的习作点评
1. 您的开头段写的不错,很有条理,使用了连接词since however; 第一句话概括了conclusion & evidence, 解释了evidence怎样支持conclusion,我要向你学习。
2. 关于第一个claim-data-warrant的讨论
     您的第一个claim-data –warant 是针对第一句“Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea and therefore were believed to have been made only by the Palean people.”进行分析的,由于今天下午我也写过这篇argument的分析,我当时也有这种想法,但我后来觉得第一句是交代背景,是一些公认的事实,作者的陈述是基于这些事实的,所以“质疑basket是不是palean的”可能不妥?(个人观点)
3. 写作指导要求evidence,所以是不是把第二段开头It is assumed that 换成evidence about … is required之类的更能回应题目要求?


感谢woaka同学点评,很有帮助,习作已改(绿色)
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发表于 2017-8-16 16:12:25 |显示全部楼层
Arg 1 Palean Basket unique

Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea and therefore were believed to have been made only by the Palean people. Recently, however, archaeologists discovered such a 'Palean' basket in Lithos, an ancient village across the Brim River from Palea. The Brim River is very deep and broad, and so the ancient Paleans could have crossed it only by boat, and no Palean boats have been found. Thus it follows that the so-called Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

1
Data: an ancient village across the Brim River from Palea, The Brim River is very deep and broad
Claim: ancient Paleans could have crossed it only by boat
Warrant: only by boat can paleans pass across the river

Evidence: no other possible solutions, like ice

2
data: no Palean boats have been found
claim: paleans haven’t invented boat at that time
warrant: if you can’t find boat now, it doesn’t exist at that time

evidence: no records of boat in other documents like writings, paintings, maybe people just haven’t find them now

3
data: Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea
Claim: and therefore were believed to have been made only by the Palean people.
Warrant: where the baskets are found, whom they are invented by

Evidence: other documents to prove the baskets are invented by paleans, maybe they are invented by other people, people today haven’t found yet

Introductory paragraph

According to the statement, Palean baskets are not uniquely Palean because archaeologists have found similar ones in Lithos. Given the fact that there’s a deep and broad river between Palea and Lithos and scientists have found no remaining of Palean boats, they think Lithoses invented the same baskets as Paleans. However, a number of evidences are missing related to the cross-river method, boat and basket inventor. These evidences need to be provided comprehensively in order to make the statement grounding.

Middle paragraph
To begin with, it’s been taken for granted that Paleans need to take a boat to go across the Brim River since it’s deep and broad. However, Paleans might possibly have other cross-river methods. It’s so cold in Palea in winter that the river’s got frozen. Paleans could step on the ice and walk across the river, which permits Paleans visit Lithos once a year to exchange merchandise like baskets. Evidences unable to exclude this possibility are weak to make us believe that Palean baskets are not unique by Paleans.
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发表于 2017-8-16 16:39:37 |显示全部楼层
144) The citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles. Their responses to a recent survey show that in their eating habits they conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago. Furthermore, there has been a fourfold increase in sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that a scientific study has shown reduces cholesterol. This trend is also evident in reduced sales of sulia, a food that few of the healthiest citizens regularly eat.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

Claim: The citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles.
Data1: Their responses to a recent survey show that in their eating habits they conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago.
Warrant1: The respondents are representative to the whole residents of Forsythe, and their eating habits really conform to their reply.

Data2: there has been a fourfold increase in sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that a scientific study has shown reduces cholesterol.
Warrant2: Food products containing kiran are necessarily healthy, not containing other harmful ingredients. The increase of this kind of food is due to the more consumption of local citizens. People buy this food is out of the reason that it is healthy.

Data3: reduced sales of sulia, a food that few of the healthiest citizens regularly eat.
Warrant3: Few heathiest citizens regularly eat means sulia is unhealthy. The reduced sales of sulia is out of the reason that local people think it is unhealthy. This trend is stable and sustainable.

开头:
The author of the article holds the claim that the citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles. According to the article, such a claim is based on three evidences, a survey, the increase of sales of a seemingly healthy kind of food, and reduced sales of an unhealthy food. Admittedly, the claim does seem compelling on the surface. However, if we put a further consideration upon the assumptions made by the author, we will find that there are several holes in the deduction. Also, if the author does not give more details, then the claim is untenable.

中间段:
The author mentioned the reduced sales of sulia as a main support for the claim, because sulia is rarely consumed by the healthiest citizens, thus unhealthy. Yet, such a fact does not necessarily imply unhealthiness. It is possible that sulia is relatively expensive relative to other healthy food, therefore few of consumers will choose it as a regular consumption. Even if sulia is indeed unhealthy, the author still does not give us the real reason regarding the reduced sales. Possibly, the majority of sulia consumers are tourists, instead of local residents, and the reduced sales is out of the decrease of tourists. Or, the increasing price prevents people from buying sulia. Plus, whether such a trend is stable and sustainable is unclear according to the passage. Only if people continuously buying less sulia can the claim be true. Therefore, the author should clarify these assumptions in a further way.

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美国offer勋章 寄托16周年纪念勋章

发表于 2017-8-16 17:18:48 |显示全部楼层
53)The following appeared in a health magazine.

The citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles. Their responses to a recent survey show that in their eating habits they conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago. Furthermore, there has been a fourfold increase in sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that a scientific study has shown reduces cholesterol. This trend is also evident in reduced sales of sulia, a food that few of the most healthy citizens regularly eat.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

Claim: Eating habits of citizens of F are conformed more closely to government nutritional recommendations.
Data: A recent survey shows that.
Warrant: This survey has the validity to comprehensively represent the eating habits of the majority of citizens of F.
Evidence: the validity of the survey

Claim: Eating habits of citizens are improved by a fourfold increase in food products containing kiran.
Data: There has been a fourfold increase in sales of food products containing kiran and scientific study has shown it reduces cholesterol.
Warrant: The increase of sale of food, the consumption of the food containing kiran will help citizens reduce their cholesterol to a healthier level.
Evidence: the relationship between increase of kiran and the reduction of cholesterol and the relationship between people’s health conditions and their cholesterol level.

Claim: Eating less sulia will strengthen people’s health.
Data: This trend is also evident in reduced sales of sulia.
Warrant: Sulia will not improve people’s health.
Evidence: Sulia will not improve people’s health.

Claim: Citizens achieve healthier life styles now.
Data: the following three above
Warrant: Healthier life styles is made through improvement of eating habits.

Introductory paragraph:
  The health magazine announces that life styles of citizens of Forsythe are better than before. Employing survey and investigation of sales of food in market, the magazine reaches this conclusion. Several evidence is needed in developing this argument about this survey and the relationship between certain food and people’s health. These evidence needs to be provided to fully validate this argument.

Middle paragraph:TS2
  It is also assumed that a fourfold more consumption of food products containing kiran will help people reduce their cholesterol level and become more healthier. However, evidence is needed to provide for how much cholesterol kiran can reduce and relationship between cholesterol level attuned by kiran and people’s health. So it still remains an open question whether this increase consumption of food containing kiran will reduce cholesterol to a healthier level or not. If this increase consumption will not reduce people’s cholesterol to a healthier level, then the argument made by the magazine is weakened.
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发表于 2017-8-16 17:57:05 |显示全部楼层
53) The following appeared in a health magazine.

The citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles. Their responses to a recent survey show that in their eating habits they conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago. Furthermore, there has been a fourfold increase in sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that a scientific study has shown reduces cholesterol. This trend is also evident in reduced sales of sulia, a food that few of the most healthy citizens regularly eat.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

1
data: Their responses to a recent survey show that in their eating habits they conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago.
Claim: The citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles.
Warrant: nutritional eating habits mean healthful lifestyles

Evidences: other aspects of lifestyles like exercise, mental health

2
data: there has been a fourfold increase in sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that a scientific study has shown reduces cholesterol.
Claim: The citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles.
Warrant: increasing sales of healthy food proves that citizens adopt healthful lifestyles

Evidences: 1) no other influential factors like they like the flavor, price, good promotion
2) the residents’ health condition after the increase (do less people catch cholesterol)

3
data: This trend is also evident in reduced sales of sulia, a food that few of the most healthy citizens regularly eat
claim: The citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles.
Warrant: healthy citizens don’t eat sulia because it’s unhealthy

Evidences: sulia is unhealthy (don’t like the flavor, price)

Introductory paragraph

According to the magazine, the residents of Forsythe have changed to healthier lifestyles by consuming recommended nutrition, eating healthy food which contains kiran and eating less unhealthy food like sulia. However, a number of evidences are missing related to the other aspects of residents’ lifestyles, the reason why residents choose food with kiran and the reason why they dislike sulia. These evidences need to be provided in order to scrutinize the statement and thus make it grounding.

Middle paragraph

To begin with, it is taken for granted that the residents are living healthier lifestyles because their eating habit is consistent with government nutritional recommendations. However, evidences of other aspects of residents’ lifestyles are not available. Though they eat healthier, they may go to gym less. They would suffer from big working pressure. Lacking of exercises and suffering from pressure are not signs of healthy lifestyles. Evidences of other aspects of lifestyles are important for us to determine whether the residents are living healthier lifestyles except their eating habit.

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发表于 2017-8-16 18:50:46 |显示全部楼层
1. Palean Basket unique

Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea and therefore were believed to have been made only by the Palean people. Recently, however, archaeologists discovered such a 'Palean' basket in Lithos, an ancient village across the Brim River from Palea. The Brim River is very deep and broad, and so the ancient Paleans could have crossed it only by boat, and no Palean boats have been found. Thus it follows that the so-called Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

Claim(C):Palean baskets were not unique in Palea.
Data/Facts(D/F):
1.Both Palea and Lithos found the basket.
2.The Brim River which split up the two villages which people couldn’t across without a boat.
3.There are no boats found in Palea.
Warrant:
1.Archeaologists found such a ”Palean” basket in Lithos.

Assumption:
1.The Palean could only arrive Lithos by crossing the river.
2.Only the Palean can arrive Lithos,things couldn’t be vice versa.
Questions Evidence needed:
-Whether there are other paths could let the Palean accessible to the Lithos?Possibility could be that at the age of the ancient period,the river is not so deep that people could cross it easily without trouble?We need the historical description to make it clear.
-If the archaeologists discovered boats in Lithos?If the possibility is people in LIthos learned the skill from the Palea crossing the river by boat?Maybe the relationship between the two villages is very harmonious that they could communicate with each other.
-After all,the possibility could be that the boat is deteriorated completely even though they once there.

According to the description of the research of the Palea basket,the author made the conclusion that the basket is not unique in Palea.However,as far as I am concerned,it would be untenable to concede that.For the assumption made by the description,it would be presumptuous to say the river is so deep that people can’t cross without a boat.I doubt that if the river is as deep as the author depicted at that time.On the other hand,whether there are boats in Lithos?We should not to ignore the possibility that people in Lithos could cross the river to learn the skill from the Palea.And I would address the details of my arguments.

Let’s see the first doubt that if the river is so deep at the ancient time.While we should admit the fact that people is hard to cross the river unless the assistant of boats,however,we couldn’t ignore the accuracy of the historical document of the depth of the river.The possibility could be that the river is shallow and could let the villagers walk cross easily.If the communication is possible,we couldn’t make the decision of the origin of the basket.Thus,it’s better to display the accurate documents of the depth of the river at that time to support the conclusion the essay given

Turn our attention to the boats.Providing that the description is true that there is no boats find in the Paea area,how about the villagers in Lithos cross the river to learn the skills from the Palea?The Possibility could be that the communication between the two villages is harmonious and the Lithos always ride the boats to visit their friendly neighborhood in Palea.This could be a reasonable explanation of the basket found in Lithos.As a result,we need the evidence of the archaeologists’ exploration or related academic research to make sure if there is any sign to show the Lithos people once took any boats cross the river.  

Excepting the possibilities I mentioned,there is also could doubt if is tenable to believe there is no boats remained in the Palea instead of the deterioration effect of the boats?We need the related historical documents to make it clear.

点评板凳楼:
我觉得写的挺好的呀,我也想到了ancient time不见得river就不让人过,必须要有船,我只想到了precipitation,水不够深,你还想到了地震的原因,棒!
另外我也怀疑了文章说找不到船这个事实的真实性,握爪。
另外,the conclusion be weakened,be questioned这样的表达挺好的。
最后,有一些语法小错误你自己回头放在word里查一下就好啦。

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寄托16周年纪念勋章

发表于 2017-8-16 19:09:44 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 卿本悠悠 于 2017-8-16 19:12 编辑

5、more healthful lifestyles(144)

The citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles. Their responses to a recent survey show that in their eating habits they conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago. Furthermore, there has been a fourfold increase in sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that a scientific study has shown reduces cholesterol. This trend is also evident in reduced sales of sulia, a food that few of the healthiest citizens regularly eat.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.


Claim: their eating habits becomes more healthier
Data: Their responses to a recent survey show that in their eating habits they conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago.
Warrant: they say that their eating habits are more close to government nutritional recommendations than ten years ago
Assumption:
1. What they said to the survey was true and nobody or few person lied in their response.
2. The healthiness of government nutritional recommendations to humans are verified and supported by academic authority

Claim: they eat much more healthy food products
Data: there has been a fourfold increase in sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that a scientific study has shown reduces cholesterol.
Warrant: these food products containing kiran which can reduce cholesterol
Assumption:
1. Citizens purchase the food products for their own daily eating, instead of for pets or some certain patients in need
2. The results of scientific study about kiran are academic valid
3. That reducing cholesterol leads to healthful lifestyles is real.

Claim: citizens less buy unhealthy food
Data: This trend is also evident in reduced sales of sulia, a food that few of the healthiest citizens regularly eat.
Warrant: Citizens reduce the purchase of sulia, which healthiest people rarely buy
Assumption:
1. The sulia is evidently unhealthy
2. What the healthiest citizens seldom eat is truly unhealthy

Introductory paragraph
Based on a recent survey, the citizens of Forsythe have taken more healthy lifestyles than ten years ago. By summarizing and analyzing these citizens’ responses, the survey shows the transition of their eating habits in many aspects. A number of assumptions has been put forward in the argument about the survey, the certain food and the citizens. These assumptions need to be carefully examined to prove the preciseness of the argument result.

Middle paragraphs (the first)
First of all, it should be assumed that what citizens of Forsythe respond to the survey is true and nobody or few person have lied in their response. If the reality of their responses couldn’t be ensured, results based on the survey are invalid and meaningless, which means no need to check and analyze any subsequent outcome. Moreover, it is also assumed that the healthiness of government nutritional recommendations to humans are verified and supported by academic authority. Maybe these recommendations are designed according to many extra considerations beside healthiness, like the convenience for food, the tradition and social economy. There might exists healthier eating habits which are different or contrary to the government nutritional recommendations.

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2016 US-applicant 新任版主 寄托16周年纪念勋章 英国offer勋章 澳洲fall勋章 19周年勋章

发表于 2017-8-16 20:14:24 |显示全部楼层
53) The following appeared in a health magazine.

The citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles. Their responses to a recent survey show that in their eating habits they conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago. Furthermore, there has been a fourfold increase in sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that a scientific study has shown reduces cholesterol. This trend is also evident in reduced sales of sulia, a food that few of the most healthy citizens regularly eat.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.


Claim: The citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles.
Data: In their eating habits they conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago.
Warrant: Nutrition is helpful to keep them healthy.

Claim: The citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles.
Data: There has been a fourfold increase in sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that a scientific study has shown reduces cholesterol.
Warrant: The increase of sales of food products containing kiran indicate that people adopted a healthier diet.

Claim: The citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles.
Data: The reduction of the sales of sulia is evident, a food that few of the most healthy citizens regularly eat.
Warrant: The decrease of sales of sulia indicate that people adopted a healthier diet.

1st paragraph
According to the description in the health magazine, a healthier lifestyle has been accommodated by the citizens of Forsythe. Through citing the result of a recent survey concerning the fool consumption of the citizens, the essay reaches the conclusion. A number of assumptions have been made in the argument about the reliability of the survey and the relation between the lifestyle and their food consumption. These assumptions need to be critically examined to assess the strength of the argument.

Middle paragraph
The conclusion is based on the assumption that the results of the survey is reliable. However, in the essay, there is no statistics to show how many citizens join in the survey. Moreover, there is no evidence to prove that the participants is representative enough to indicate the conditions of all the citizens of Forsythe. Perhaps most of the participants are the elders or women who focus more on healthy lifestyle. If the participants are not randomly picked out, representative of all the citizens, then the result of the survey is not reliable. As a result, the conclusion that they adopt a more heathful lifestyle is not credible.

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美国offer勋章

发表于 2017-8-16 21:04:37 |显示全部楼层
1)
Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea and therefore were believed to have been made only by the Palean people. Recently, however, archaeologists discovered such a 'Palean' basket in Lithos, an ancient village across the Brim River from Palea. The Brim River is very deep and broad, and so the ancient Paleans could have crossed it only by boat, and no Palean boats have been found. Thus it follows that the so-called Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.


Claim: The so-called Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean.
Data: Archaeologists discovered such a 'Palean' basket in Lithos, an ancient village across the Brim River from Palea.
Warrant: The baskets found in Lithos were local product.
Evidence needed: People in Lithos are able to produce such kind of basket.

Claim: it’s impossible for the Paleans to cross the river
Data: The Brim River is very deep and broad and no Palean boats have been found
Warrant: the ancient Paleans could have crossed it only by boat
Evidence needed: 1. the river is deep and broad in the ancient times.
                2. the boats that could be used to cross the river never existed

Claim: Woven baskets were believed to have been made only by the Palean people.
Data: Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea.
Warrant: Palean people made these woven baskets.
Evidence needed: Palean people are isolated.


开头段:

According to the passage above, the conclusion that the so-called Palean basket were not uniquely Palean is reached by two steps. Firstly, recent discovery of a ‘Palean’ basket in Lithos represents that the woven baskets are not uniquely Palean. Secondly, due to the deep and broad river between these two villages, the basket found in Lithos is impossible to be made in Palea. While the conclusion could be true, close scrutiny reveals that the conclusion lacks critical support and therefore we need more evidence to help evaluate the argument.

中间段:
First of all, a recent discovery of a ‘Palean’ basket in Lithos is given to suggest that the so-called Palean baskets were possible to exist outside Palean. However, we need more evidence to ascertain whether the ‘Palean’ basket in Lithos are indeed local product. First, we need to find out whether the materials used to produce woven basket is available in Lithos. Since materials are the fundamental part of composition, only when the abundant resources of fundamental part are proved to exist, can we take the latter whole of basket into consideration. Second, we need some traces to identify that people in Lithos have mastered the craft to make woven basket. Such traces consist of a laundry list of tools used during the process of making and preserving woven baskets. If the aforementioned evidence can be found, the claim that the woven basket could be made in Lithos will be more plausible. Otherwise, the conclusion will be weakened.

In addition, we need more evidence to ascertain that baskets found in Lithos were not delivered from Palea. There are two facts given to support the claim: the river between these two villages is too broad and deep to cross without boat and no Palean boats have been found. However, the reasoning process of these facts are not flawless. For example, it’s possible that, in ancient times, the Brim river was not wide and deep as we see today which would be easy for the Palean to cross. Also, the non-existence of boats at present could be attributed to the reason that these boats have decayed during the long period. Thus, we need evidence of the absolute condition of Brim river in ancient times and of the existence of boats at that time to re-examine the claim.

Even if the two claims listed above are true, the conclusion that the so-called Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean is still problematic. At the very beginning, the passage asserts that woven baskets are found in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea. However, the definition of ‘immediate vicinity’ is ambiguous. Although from the modern perspective, these two villages are totally separated due to the Brim river between them, it’s still possible that, in ancient times, they were linked by bridge or shallow water beach. Based upon such an assumption, Palea and Lithos were not isolated and they can be integrated into a whole from the geographical perspective. If we want to reach this conclusion that woven baskets are not uniquely Palean, we will need more evidence to exclude the possibility that Lithos could be part of Palea in ancient time.

结尾:
To sum up, the evidence cited in the passage does not provide enough information to reach the conclusion that the so-called Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean. We need additional evidence, like the geographical condition of/between Palea and Lithos at their times, to better evaluate the argument.

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发表于 2017-8-16 21:05:02 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 bigheiniu 于 2017-8-18 23:52 编辑

Argument 53) The following appeared in a health magazine.

The citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles. Their responses to a recent survey show that in their eating habits they conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago. Furthermore, there has been a fourfold increase in sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that a scientific study has shown reduces cholesterol. This trend is also evident in reduced sales of sulia, a food that few of the most healthy citizens regularly eat.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

claim:
The citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles.
data:
a survey show that residents' eating habbits match the goverment nutritional recommendations more closely.
warrant:
1. similar to the recommnedations is the key for keeping health.
2. the survey's correctness
evidence:
1. more data about peopel's health in the past ten years.
2. more informatin about the recommendations.
3. whether the survey cover all kinds of people in the city.

data:
A fourfold increase in sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that a scientific study has shown reduces cholesterol.
warrant:
1. the food contains the kiran can reduce cholesterol.
2. individual consumption of kiran's food has been increasing.
3. the diseases only caught by high level of cholesterol
evidence:
1. more experimental results about whether the food containing kiran have the same effect on people's health with the labotary results.
2. data about whether individual consumption of the kiran's food have been increasing.
3. the data from hostital about whether the disease residents suffer are caused by cholesterol.

data:
This trend is also evident in reduced sales of sulia, a food that few of the most healthy citizens regularly eat.
warrant:
people eat less food containing sulia is healthier.
assumption:
1. individual consumption of sulia food have been decreasing.
2. the food containing sulia is harmful to health.


============正文分割线==============
开头
According to the author of the lecture, the citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles given that people's eating habits more similar to government recommendations, consuming food rich in kiran and less in sulia. In order to evaluate the claim, we need to find more evidence about the recommendations, the influence of kiran and sulia food.

中间段
To begin with, we need some evidence about the recommendation's actual influence. The author merely points out that people's eating habits are more close to the recommendation. There is great possibility that although the food is health, people less likely to do sports. When they finish eating, they just go to sleep, or in their spare time, they stay behind the television instead of go for a walk. These spiritless life habits can also harm people's health even people have a proper diets. Moreover, with the development of technology, food's containing and the way they made has been changing year by year. So the static recommendations which has been last for ten years may not guide residents' eating properly, maybe with some outdated suggestions.

Secondly, we also need some evidence about the influence of the food's containing. The author says that people here prefer food consisting of more kiran rather than kiran. It is possible that the total consumption of these food production have increased, but the average sales for every individuals have decreased. Thus, the increase consumption of healthy food does not make any improvement on every single people. Besides, the food containing the kiran may not have the same effects on people's health compared to the results from the laboratory. With many other uncontrolled factors in people's daily life, the effect of kiran has been counterproductive maybe like air pollution or the nervous spirit among the residents. Without evidence that can eliminating other factors, we cannot say the increasing consumption of kiran's food can make people healthier.

Thirdly, we still need evidence that cholesterol is the drive factor of disease here. The author just correlate the less cholesterol with healthy lifestyle. Just like the speculation above, if people here like drinking or they are under the pressure from their work, food with less cholesterol does not stand that people here have a healthier lifestyle which actually omits many clandestine factors. So if the director of the government just rely on this, their optimistic policy about improving people's health will meet some trouble in the future.

结尾
In a nutshell, the author claim residents live in Forsythe have a healthier lifestyle. But actually, to stand for this claim, we need more evidence about the actual influence about the recommendation and food containing on people's daily life instead of from the assumption or the laboratory.

============正文分割线==============
中间段我是:
      1. 我还需要什么样证据.
      2. 作者在 magazine 提出的 data 是什么.
      3. 开始提出假设, 讨论其他可能情况
      4. 总结

评价41楼:
1. 问题都找出了, 针对河流展开了三种角度进行了攻击: a. 河流是否存在 b. 河流会存在, 是否很深. c. 河流很深, 船是否存在

2. 建议:
a. 关于开头引导语:
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1795787-1-1.html
b. 这篇文章比较适合层层递进, 因为攻击点都是一环接一环, 不是一个并列的状态.
c. 那种层层递进的状态感觉是先说一个错误, 然后假设这个错误成立, 但是还是有其他的错误出现. 说的那篇 Argument 无论怎么样都是有问题的, 这个需要你自己按照轻重缓急排好序


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美国offer勋章

发表于 2017-8-16 22:06:46 |显示全部楼层
Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea and therefore were believed to have been made only by the Palean people. Recently, however, archaeologists discovered such a "Palean" basket in Lithos, an ancient village across the Brim River from Palea. The Brim River is very deep and broad, and so the ancient Paleans could have crossed it only by boat, and no Palean boats have been found. Thus it follows that the so-called Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

Claim: Since there is no boat found in the Palea village, Palean baskets were not unique.

Evidence required:1. The brim River was as deep and broad as it is.
                            2. Boat was the only way to cross the river
                            3.Wooden boat can last centeries.

Since there is no Palean boat being found in the Palean village, the author states that, regarding the fact that boating was the only way to go across the river, the Palean baskets were not unique in the area. The argument remians doubtful to me when several evidences are missing.

Evdence1

Evidence2

Evidence3

From my perspecive, the argument requires the evideces above to reach an cogent conclusion. If Evidence 1.2.3 supply sufficient support, thus it is sound to hold the point that Palean boats were not unique in the Palean village.
                  

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RE: argument同主题写作第二类 8月16-17日 [修改]
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https://bbs.gter.net/thread-2112325-1-1.html
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