【09年1月-4月】TOEFL口语练习小组作业贴

Amber0926UID：2555355

呃。。。我也想参加~
好久没练了

水晶小鱼UID：2471655

占个地~:)

第一次作业：
for #3
通过对你录音的评审：
book——恩，我很喜欢你开始介绍下作者是谁，你读过三遍这样的背景，很详细;接着后面用两个支持点展开了。第一个支持点不错，但是第二个支持点你开始说的是simple，但举得例子却是可以身临其境，后面又总结了下这书非常vivid。为什么不直接说，And also, the book is also very vivid and simple to understand. I can imagine that I was the hero who fight the (fight什么实在是听不懂，marik?~~)这样将主题句放在前面，简明易懂，你的例子是说vivid的。
总的来说还可以，但是第二个支持点太短了，明显比第一个短了很多，注意这两个时间安排要差不多才好啊~

movie——第一个支持理由：And never happen in our world改成And that kind of thing has never happened in our world, so it's really terrific!要不然没有主语啊~第二个支持理由:language 不能humorous，而应该是the actor's lines are very humorous。可以说第二个支持理由没有个中心，你可以这么改一下:Second, this is also a very humorous movie. Many of the actors' lines are very funny. I even bursted into tears while watching some senes and I love those devoted players.

song——恩，这个内容很好，尤其是第二个例子很好~

恩，楼主要注意也是大家要注意的问题是，1.没有连读，要多练习才是；2.语调太平了！没有起伏，当然这点我做的也非常不好3.注意有些单词的重音。如courageous，重音在后面。4.合理分配每个论点的时间。5. 在describe问题的时候一定要介绍背景，我把这个都给忘了。。。

for #18
通过对你录音的评审：
book——没得说了，太赞了！语音语调都太赞了~~崇拜啊，你是不是在国外啊？例子我也很喜欢，用得很恰当~我也喜欢格林童话，怎么就没想到呢。。。唉。。。

movie——哈哈，我说的也是GONE WITH THE WIND，爱死了~~~呵呵，你的第一个支持论点我也很赞同，rhett太帅了，scarlet太美了~恩，还是一篇很好的习作~

song——precious friendship？这首歌有这个意思么？我喜欢你这句话：I would totally immerse into the melody when I'm listening to it~第二个支持观点表达的有点乱，整理下还是很好的~

我注意到18喜欢先用personally speaking来开场，然后简短说明+第一个论点+第二个论点,而且第二个论点喜欢用自己的一个经历，听起来很亲切，很specific。我们大家应该像她学习啊，有自己的而阐述模式，并且细致。
还有这位童鞋的语速简直是太好了，不慢也不快，建议大家听了然后学习啊，我老是说快了。。。
但是声音太小了，以至于我有部分内容听得不清楚，你是不是大声些，我们在面对电脑的时候也不能说的太小声了啊~

不会太久vivianUID：2592395

占楼 vivian 2.28、

1.2

for#13 sunshine ：内容相当充实，准备的很充分啊，可以在组织一下内容，有个结尾更好～语调自然一点就perfect了，可能为了使声音大一点， book 与music 的语气有点硬，movie很好· sunshine 可以尝试以对人说话的态度来练口语题，或者跟读对话。

for# 水晶小鱼：整个回答很完整并且十分流利，除了movie 的第一个理由···happy and relax··有点不大合适，其他的观点例子都很恰当，小鱼的口语跟作文都相当棒的说，  如果希望更完美，可以从语音语调自然；熟练运用简单和复杂的语言结构 这两个方向入手。

ddcmj519UID：176326

for 3#
book: it is the book 在开头重复了3遍。three发音不对。最后个理由的扩展好像不太对，simple联系到刻画生动上去了。总的来说，语调比上次正常啦~ 但是还是比较平淡，感情色彩不够。而且时间分配上第一个理由略微多了点。
movie：句式过于简单，基本都是简单句。理由2没有扩展，要是能提及一两句电影中的句子因该会更好。
希望回去再充分准备重新录一下~
song：following reasons 发音都不对。 理由不好，两个理由其实都是一个方向的，我觉得。比如，可以说你是在什么样背景下喜欢这歌的啊。
总的来说，我觉得时间分配是不是不太妥，基本都是前15s引入。可以尝试把引入时间压缩至10s。这样后面的理由有更多时间扩展，才站得住脚。

for 13#
book:语音语调很到位。reason1 没有扩展还跟R2有重复嫌疑，还不如不要。光后面两个其实差不多足够了。
movie：I like the 句型重复太多。更关键的是这个段子里面衔接词太少！
song：语调，这下过分了。要说的是抒情歌softest in ur heart，讲的那么强势听着有点假= = 最后个理由好像his了。应该是个女歌手吧。。

yangyecUID：2495015

占楼

sunnylingUID：2499568

好~加油~

sunnylingUID：2499568

好~加油~

shania_tanUID：2219662

西山看云也来占~

kongkong1212UID：2581369

我占占占~~~~

我作业已经发到邮箱里咯~

Amber0926UID：2555355

Amber和大家一起努力

orangebeanUID：2236363

suggestions for arlenezxy:

Personally, I choose to save the spare money (for the future use)(no
such use, u can say, I save my spare money so I can use it in the
future). I always have a dream that (I want to own a piano for myself)(
有点啰嗦..u can just say that I can have my own piano). (and)(but) (for
now)(till now) I don't have (such)(enough) money to buy a new piano,
(and a new piano)(because it) always seems so expensive. (For some
person that small amount of money can do nothing unless buy some small
things to satify one small need,)(For some people that a little amount
of money can do nothing but just buy some tiny stuffs to satisfy one's
temporary needs) but for me, I think small amount of money can be
accumulated (as)(to?) a big one (and can)(so that it may) help me to
realize my dream.
1.个人觉得还不够流利，最好再多练两遍（你的口语是以单词为单位的而不是意
群）
2.使用and过多，很多地方是因果逻辑，注意连词的使用

I totally don't agree with (the)(元音前发/i:/) opinion that power and
money is the definition of success. Actually(l吞掉了) there are many
different kinds of success in the world, I think. It's (really)(/i/不是
/e/) hard to (definite)(define?) (it)(success) only by the power or the
(a)mount of money one have. I have a friend,(连词呢？) (she)(who) was a
very timid girl at first, and it's really hard for her to speak even
one word to a ((strange)(发音..) person)(stranger), (and)(but) then she
tried to conquer her shyness. (Ultimately)(这个词会不会太正式啊), she
surprised me by winning (the first prize of) the speech contest (as a
first place) in our university. I think (that), for her, it's a (kind)
(tune不对..) of success(. Do one's best to achieve one's (goal)(not
girl).)(that she did her best to achieve her goal)
注意连词！继续加油吧！ >  <

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suggestions for tiger:

(On the topic of list statement)(I don't understand), I (can not have)
(couldn't help) thinking of my (foreign F)(有这么修饰的吗？my foreign
English teacher F?), who was (a teacher)(our English teacher) of our
hospital. (Before beginning my learning in English)(逻辑有问题..Before
I met F?), I (was not daring)(didn't dare/was afraid) to (express myself)(不确定是否有
这种表达 just use 'speak') in English because of (pronunciation)(发音错
了) and the tunes. It is F who discovered my (dificiencies)(What's
this?) and decided to help me with my oral English. She invited me to
her home and (make private conversation with me)(表达不对 we have
conversation in English), and she point(ed) out every mistake I've made
and encourage (every minor)(很中式 just use 'the') advancement I
achieved. In that way, my oral English (was)(has) improved gradually.
1.比较常见的是3点原因式结构，你这种个人经历陈述式可以被接受吗？
2.有很多中式思维，不要把你脑中想到的中文句子翻译成英语，外国人不会这么
表达

Between these two ways of taking sport, I prefer the adventure sport
definitely because it is more exciting and by taking these sports, I
can gain a great sense of accomplishment. As an energetic young man,
I'd always like(ai发饱满) exciting things, such as mountain(tain发的不
对) climbing, basketball(ball没发) playing(不用playing了吧), skiing(好
像没有n), (just to name a few)(这个放在举例前比较好吧，后面应该用etc之
类的). by taking these exciting sports, I can gain(/ei/) great sense of
achievement. (这不是说过了么？) Whenever I was imaging that I'm
standing on the top of a(n) extremely high mountain, or winning a
tournament with my teammates, I just feel a greater sense of
conquerness(conquer的名词是conquest).
1.一直在重复accomplishment，试着说点别的，比如
relax,hardness,teamwork,enthusiasm,skill or strategy,etc
加油！=)

水晶小鱼UID：2471655

18# 不会太久vivian

恩，谢谢谢谢啊~
我也感觉语调不好，一直都在注意，最近还买了本书练，可是还是没有什么效果，你有好的建议么？

那个长短句搭配我会在写段子的时候哦注意的~

谢谢~:loveliness:

大伙一块傻UID：2557169

19# ddcmj519
那个歌~我讲的是“Listen to mom's words”
周杰伦的那首“听妈妈的话”

kejia0422UID：170864

占地方
申请加入

roinyouUID：2447501

roinyou 第二次作业 占楼