小心littleheart的独立作文，自1.27，更新至2.14

lxg198607UID：2564115

People seldom agree with each other even in such trivial（感觉这次用在这不太好，trivial好像有贬义） issues that whether the best way to travel is being in a group led by tourist guides. From my point of view, while travelling without tourist guides make people feel more free and unrestricted, I hold the belief that we had better（有这用法么，would better） to find a guide when travelling according to the following reasons.  

Admittedly, the main purpose of travelling is enjoyment and to relieve people from heavy burden. We completely enjoy ourselves when seeing the beautiful scenery or getting （to）a mysterious place with our family or friends. And if there is a guide follows （following）us, we may feel uncomfortable for we must listen to the guide's advice and go (to)some certain places. In addition, some people are unwilling to accept the fact that travelling with a stranger.. R3 Q: d% Q/ ^
From another perspective, travelling with a guide indeed brings us more benefits as well as guideless. In the process of travelling, we can not only feel relax and happy, but also learn lots of knowledge, such as history and geography. A tourist guide will lead us to some meaningful places, including historical relics, which contribute to gain more experience and become more well-known. Meanwhile, these types of knowledge play a significant role in our life for the reason that learning from life is usually more practically useful than learning from books. Through a professional guide' explanation, we can realize the custom of a certain area and thus we can really have a deep understanding about local culture. Just imagine, owing to that we are unfamiliar with the travelling place, we may miss certain important historical relics without a guide. It follows that it would (be)an imperfect travelling which leaves some regret.+ C( h7 e  x; ?7 y6 ^. M
What’s more, it is more convenient for us when travelling led by a tourist guide. We don't need to plan where to go tomorrow and what time to get up by own because our guide will make a careful (用thorough怎样)plan for us. We don't have to worry about being lost when arriving at a strange place because a person will lead us all long. Having a guide is like a having a safeguard, and tourist guides are the best maps which give us correct direction. On the other hand, we can meet various kinds of person if choosing travelling in a group, and only in this way, can we improve the ability of communication.
By and large, it is true that travelers can go anywhere they desire （like）and have more freedom without a tourist guide's interrupt. However, considering that people can acquire more knowledge as well as the security problems, I personally stand on the ground that travelling with a group of people led by tourist guide is the best way.
  全文逻辑清晰，句式多样，例子举的不错，但有少量的语法错误，继续加油。。

tomatooUID：2754865

People seldom agree with each other even in such trivial issues(such a trivial issue后面引导了一个从句说得是一个问题，所以要一致)(这种万能的句子真好，学到了) that whether the best way to travel is being in a group led by tourist guides. From my point of view, while travelling without tourist guides make people feel more free and unrestricted, I hold the belief that we had better to find a guide when travelling according to the following reasons.  

Admittedly, the main purpose of travelling is enjoyment and to relieve people from heavy burden. We completely enjoy ourselves when seeing the beautiful scenery or getting a mysterious place with our family or friends. And if there is a guide follows us, we may feel uncomfortable for we must listen to the guide's advice and go some certain places. In addition, some people are unwilling to accept the fact that travelling with a stranger.

s8 M5 a2 t1 W2 _: `" P
From another perspective, travelling with a guide indeed brings us more benefits as well as guideless. In the process of travelling, we can not only feel relax and happy, but also learn lots of knowledge, such as history and geography. A tourist guide will lead us to some meaningful places, including historical relics, which contribute to gain(contribute to sth, or, contribute to doing) more experience and become more well-known. Meanwhile, these types of knowledge play a significant role in our life for the reason that learning from life is usually more practically useful than learning (可以不要)from books. Through a professional guide's explanation, we can realize the custom of a certain area and thus we can really have a deep understanding about local culture. Just imagine, owing to that we are unfamiliar with the travelling place, we may miss certain(这个词用太多次了) important historical relics without a guide. It follows that it would be an imperfect travelling which leaves some regrets.

What's more, it is more convenient for us when travelling led by a tourist guide. We don't need to plan where to go tomorrow and what time to get up by own because our guide will make a careful plan for us. We don't have to worry about being lost when arriving at a strange place because a person will lead us all long（再来一句吧，构成排比，呵呵）. Having a guide is like a（删掉） having a safeguard, and tourist guides are the best maps which give us correct direction. On the other hand, we can meet various kinds of person if choosing travelling in a group, and only（这个only用得不好，只有这样才行吗？你爱上这个倒装了，呵呵） in this way, can we improve the ability of communication.

By and large, it is true that travelers can go anywhere they desire and have more freedom without a tourist guide's interrupt. However, considering that people can acquire more knowledge as well as (without worring about) the security problems, I personally stand on the ground that travelling with a group of people led by tourist guide is the best way.

经典五段法！
非常好,下次我也学着这么试试。
很好啊，简单没关系，表达清楚就好！
GOOD JOB！

小心littleheartUID：2726034

2.2 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The best way to travel is being in a group led by a tourist guide.
People seldom agree with each other even in such trivial issues that whether the best way to travel is being in a group led by tourist guides. From my point of view, while travelling without tourist guides make people feel more free and unrestricted, I hold the belief that we had better to find a guide when travelling according to the following reasons.  
Admittedly, the main purpose of travelling is enjoyment and to relieve people from heavy burden. We completely enjoy ourselves when seeing the beautiful scenery or getting a mysterious place with our family or friends. And if there is a guide follows us, we may feel uncomfortable for we must listen to the guide's advice and go some certain places. In addition, some people are unwilling to accept the fact that travelling with a stranger.
From another perspective, travelling with a guide indeed brings us more benefits as well as guideless. In the process of travelling, we can not only feel relax and happy, but also learn lots of knowledge, such as history and geography. A tourist guide will lead us to some meaningful places, including historical relics, which contribute to gain more experience and become more well-known. Meanwhile, these types of knowledge play a significant role in our life for the reason that learning from life is usually more practically useful than learning from books. Through a professional guide' explanation, we can realize the custom of a certain area and thus we can really have a deep understanding about local culture. Just imagine, owing to that we are unfamiliar with the travelling place, we may miss certain important historical relics without a guide. It follows that it would an imperfect travelling which leaves some regret.
What’s more, it is more convenient for us when travelling led by a tourist guide. We don't need to plan where to go tomorrow and what time to get up by own because our guide will make a careful plan for us. We don't have to worry about being lost when arriving at a strange place because a person will lead us all long. Having a guide is like a having a safeguard, and tourist guides are the best maps which give us correct direction. On the other hand, we can meet various kinds of person if choosing travelling in a group, and only in this way, can we improve the ability of communication.
By and large, it is true that travelers can go anywhere they desire and have more freedom without a tourist guide's interrupt. However, considering that people can acquire more knowledge as well as the security problems, I personally stand on the ground that travelling with a group of people led by tourist guide is the best way.

小心littleheartUID：2726034

18# duck2010 非常感谢duck学长的点评，对我帮助很大~~~其实这句话People seldom agree with each other even in such trivial issues about whether showing off our ability to others, such our bosses, is conducive to success. 我是为了提出话题，增加文章背景，也是为了增加点字数~呵呵~我这篇文章内容的确有些空洞了，因为实在是想不出还能说啥了啊~好像来回就那么几句话~变着法子说~~~郁闷。。。。。想不出又多又好的观点啊~~~duck可否给些建议。至于举得例子，我又只能想到周围生活中的中式例子~~我应该怎么加强一下啊~~该多了解些美国生活么？？请指教~~~

duck2010UID：2757376

People seldom agree with each other even in such trivial issues about whether showing off our ability to others, such our bosses, is conducive to success. It is no denying the fact that heated competition impels us to demonstrate our advantages continuously. It is indeed a wonderful way to be successful that let others know your ability. For only in this way, can we achieve our goal in the shortest time and with high efficiency. (第一句话的句式结构很好，但是我不了解这句话存在的意义。第二句话，句式也不错，但是严格说来，竞争刺激展现优势并不能说是the fact，而仅仅是你的opinion。混淆opinion与fact，可能会让一个美国改卷老师对你产生不好的印象。GRE和学术写作尤其必须杜绝这种错误。最后一句话，only, shortest，这样的措词可能让人抓住把柄。)


Initially, if a person wants to success in his territory, he extremely needs others' help rather than merely depend on himself. A worker needs to gain appreciation from his boss in order to reach a higher position. Just as in a company, in school, a student will try his best to let himself be well-liked by his teacher because his teacher decide whether he can be the class monitor（美国人选举班长可能并不是老师任命的，且美国人未必认为当上班长就是一种成功。这里可能存在文化差异。如果你一定要举这个例子，务必要加上in China）. Sometimes, a distinguished professor's recommendation letter would ensure you attend the best university without too much effort（这个也仅仅局限于中国人的投机，务必加上in China，或者，我建议你将without too much effort删掉 ）; therefore it is of great significance to make sure your professor know your academic skills. When some others, such as your boss, your teacher and other people related to you, find your accomplishment and specific ability, they might do a lot for your future development.



From another perspective, let others know your ability and intelligence may contribute to your talking about meaningful topics. People always like to chat with the one who has a high-level understanding so that they can learn much thing from you（这个句子人称混乱）. Thus would help you forge new relationship with them, and when you confront a difficult problem, they are eager to help you and as a result the opportunity to success can be increased（As a result前面最好断句，另起一句，否则整个长句子头重脚轻）. On the other hand, it is your accomplishment that attracts others and they are willing to cooperate with you. In this way, you will have a good partner, which helps you succeed. Image（imagine） that if no one knows your strength, that is to say your ability will be hided, and then whatever you do, nobody would assume an active role in helping you. It follows that you feel very tired and isolated, and even may give up. What’s more, the process of demonstrating your strength can also allow you recognize your shortcomings and drawbacks, and through others' guideless, you can become more perfect, meanwhile you are not far away from success. In my senior school, I was good at maths and usually discuss hard questions with my teacher. Since my teacher place a high value on me, he always took extra lessons for me after class and eventually I did very well in maths in college-entrance examination.



We can see numerous（numerous？数不清的。。。不够准确吧。你也就讲了几点而已） benefits that showing off our accomplishments brings from the discussion above. However, that is not to say if we are a person not good at showing off or we are a shy individual, we can（would） never be successful. Each enterpriser is a successful man or woman, while no one knows their accomplishment before see their glory and success. They achieve success through their intelligence and effort rather than through others' approval. Another typical example would be the famous painter-Van Gogh, his works were not appreciated by the public during his life, while he was called a great painter after death（一个句子只能有一套主谓宾）.



In conclusion, we all expect our accomplishment be approved by others, especially by our leaders, for the reason that it could contribute to our success in a relatively/comparatively short time. With others' appreciation, you may meet your goal easier than doing thing by yourself. We live in society, so everyone attempt to let their skills be acknowledged, which is crucial to the future development.

综合来看，你的文采很好，观点很丰富。
然而，必须指出的是，你的文章内容不如上篇充实。

从整篇文章来看，你经常用到第二人称you，摆了很多大小道理和观点。
这很容易给人以“说教”的印象。
而你只不过是一个中国年轻人，讲出来的道理自然不够纯熟，加上语言文化障碍，肯定不能打动一个美国阅卷老师。
这种文章行文风格可能会显得你不够谦虚，full of assertion and opinion，让老师对你产生不好的印象。

我给你的建议：
如果你想讲道理，摆出自己的观点，尽量将话说得“圆滑”一点，不要留下缺口。可以考虑，多用might这个词，不要把话说得那么绝对。美国人很喜欢客观、谦虚的人，而我们中国人说起话来都有《人民日报》的影子，喜欢忽悠。
如果你想举例子，尽量举符合美国文化的例子，或者国际知名度较高的人和事。有很多事情和道理，其实只在我们中国大陆发生和通用。因此，某些文化差异，你不得不考虑进去。

这是我的观点，希望能对你有参考价值。
加油！

小心littleheartUID：2726034

不好意思，今天没有时间写要求的题目了~就贴了篇以前写的作文，请帮忙改作文的同学包含一下~~呵呵~~我会也认真看一下今天的题目，然后给你们改的~~
以下是考虑到“duck2010”的修改建议后的最新版~


有人觉得make sure别人（如有影响的人或你的老板）知道你的strength and accomplishment能帮你获得成功，否则一事无成
       People seldom agree with each other even in such trivial issues about whether showing off our ability to others, such our bosses, is conducive to success. It is no denying the fact that heated competition impels us to demonstrate our advantages continuously. It is indeed a wonderful way to be successful that let others know your ability. For only in this way, can we achieve our goal in a comparatively short time and with high efficiency.
       Initially, if a person wants to success in his territory, he extremely needs others' help rather than merely depend on himself. A worker needs to gain appreciation from his boss in order to reach a higher position. Just as in a company, in school, a Chinese student will try his best to let himself be well-liked by his teacher because his teacher decide whether he can be the class monitor. Sometimes, a distinguished professor's recommendation letter would ensure you attend the best university without too much effort; therefore it is of great significance to make sure your professor know your academic skills. When some others, such as your boss, your teacher and other people related to you, find your accomplishment and specific ability, they might do a lot for your future development.
From another perspective, let others know your ability and intelligence may contribute to your talking about meaningful topics. People always like to chat with the one who has a high-level understanding so that they can learn much thing from the person. Thus would help you forge new relationship with them, and when you confront a difficult problem, they are eager to help you. As a result the opportunity to success can be increased. On the other hand, it is your accomplishment that attracts others and they are willing to cooperate with you. In this way, you will have a good partner, which helps you succeed. Imagine that if no one knows your strength, that is to say your ability will be hided, and then whatever you do, nobody would assume an active role in helping you. It follows that you feel very tired and isolated, and even may give up. What’s more, the process of demonstrating your strength can also allow you recognize your shortcomings and drawbacks, and through others' guideless, you can become more perfect, meanwhile you are not far away from success. In my senior school, I was good at maths and usually discuss hard questions with my teacher. Since my teacher place a high value on me, he always took extra lessons for me after class and eventually I did very well in maths in college-entrance examination.
            We can see several benefits that showing off our accomplishments brings from the discussion above. However, that is not to say if we are a person not good at showing off or we are a shy individual, we would never be successful. Each enterpriser is a successful man or woman, while no one knows their accomplishment before see their glory and success. They achieve success through their intelligence and effort rather than through others' approval. Another typical example would be the famous painter-Van Gogh, his works were not appreciated by the public during his life, while he was called a great painter after death.
In conclusion, we all expect our accomplishment be approved by others, especially by our leaders, for the reason that it could contribute to our success in a relatively/comparatively short time. With others' appreciation, you may meet your goal easier than doing thing by yourself. We live in society, so everyone attempt to let their skills be acknowledged, which is crucial to the future development.

小心littleheartUID：2726034

15# tomatoo 呵呵 ~~关于孔子的那部分我是抄的~~~实在想不出来啊~~~

tomatooUID：2754865

"Experience is the best teacher" is an old cliché（好词）, but I agree with it. Learning is the foundation of solving any kinds(kind) of problems. We can learn things through various methods, and I tend to agree that studying from our ancestors is one of the most important parts. Therefore, I argue that understanding the past is necessary for us to solve problems at present and in future.

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Initially, history could make people wise because we can avoid making the same mistake as our ancestors by learning history(这句前面用people,后面最好用they；后面要用we,前面最好用us，这样比较一致，符合习惯). After having experienced feudalism with thousands of years, Chinese administration began to realize that only socialism is adaptable to China. Only through drawing lessons from the past, such as the extinction of Qing dynasty, can we find the most adaptable administration to China(这两句合成一句吧，意思重复). Thus, at present our country is in a peaceful age and our people will not be insulted by other nations. Meanwhile, researching about the past can also warn us that a serious consequence may happen if we wrongly walk one step.  
\

For another perspective, from the past to this day and age, something, such as certain natural phenomena have never altered. If our ancestors have drawn a conclusion about some astronomic regulation, we don't need to waste time on them, but directly utilize the achievement. It not only saves us more time, but also helps us do some deeper research on the base(+of,这里base是名词) the former one. Nowadays, research on the orbiting of celestial body contributes us a lot in regard to the application of global positioning system.(这句读不通，首先没查到contribute sb sth的用法，再次，a lot 什么in regard to ,是不是改成contributes to a lot of applications in regard to global positioning system不然就直接contributes to many applications of global positioning system.) Similarly, medicine, especially for （这个for不要）Chinese medicine, is a constant science that we can make use of our ancestors' wisdom. Nowadays, An Outline Treatise of Medical Herbs（你说的是本草纲目吗？有固定说法Compendium of Materia Medica ）, acknowledged by the whole nation, is still be regarded as an outstanding work for we are able to use old methods written in this book to cure some today's disease（diseases）. Besides, this book is welcomed by more and more foreigners and(because,因果关系更合适) it could help us （不是foreigners吗？them）treat sickness which cannot be cured by western medicine. Regarding this issue, I hold the opinion that we will gain much knowledge from this book and Chinese medicine in the future.  

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There is another point I should make, in addition to unchanging things, past experience could also tell us a lot about some changing matters, such as the relationship with others (between people). We all live in society, communicating with all types of person(persons). Although the circumstance we live in is continuously altering, some important characteristics still alive.(你这段不是想说过去对那些在变的东西的好吗？那这句还说很多重要的东西没变在这里是什么意思呢？有点辞不达意) Through reading history, we can know that how to be a person and how to adjust ourselves to the society. In China, there is(was) a great thinker and social philosopher called Confucius, whose teachings and philosophy have deeply influenced Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Taiwanese and Vietnamese thought and life. His philosophy emphasized personal and governmental morality, correctness of relationships, justice and sincerity. These values gained prominence in China over other doctrines, such as Legalism or Taoism during the Han Dynasty(赞一个，呵呵，这些东西我用汉语都说不清). Modern socialists have summarized rules of conduct according to Confucius and his composing.6 q1 J$ i7 `7 |

By and large(good!学习一下，呵呵), past is to present and future what the foundation is to skyscraper(a is to b what c is to d,good!呵呵，再次学习一下). We can hardly solve some problems without past experience.

读你的作文像拜读大作呢！
呵呵，内容非常丰富！用词非常丰富！
句式非常多样化！
小小不足:
第二个点全是论证，最好能有一个topic sentence
by and large(^_^), you did a great job!

eddie23508okUID：2281260

我查了一下，only放句首的句子倒装不用逗号隔开，例如Only in a big city was it possible to buy new
wheelchairs. 如果隔开了就是德语的语序了，呵呵！英语不这么用！ 8# 小心littleheart

小心littleheartUID：2726034

1.29 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? To solve the problems present and future is it necessary to understand the past?

"Experience is the best teacher" is an old cliché, but I agree with it. Learning is the foundation of solving any kinds of problems. We can learn things through various methods, and I tend to agree that studying from our ancestors is one of the most important parts. Therefore, I argue that understanding the past is necessary for us to solve problems at present and in future.

Initially, history could make people wise because we can avoid making the same mistake as our ancestors by learning history. After having experienced feudalism with thousands of years, Chinese administration began to realize that only socialism is adaptable to China. Only through drawing lessons from the past, such as the extinction of Qing dynasty, can we find the most adaptable administration to China. Thus, at present our country is in a peaceful age and our people will not be insulted by other nations. Meanwhile, researching about the past can also warn us that a serious consequence may happen if we wrongly walk one step.  

For another perspective, from the past to this day and age, something, such as certain natural phenomena have never altered. If our ancestors have drawn a conclusion about some astronomic regulation, we don't need to waste time on them, but directly utilize the achievement. It not only saves us more time, but also helps us do some deeper research on the base the former one. Nowadays, research on the orbiting of celestial body contributes us a lot in regard to the application of global positioning system. Similarly, medicine, especially for Chinese medicine, is a constant science that we can make use of our ancestors' wisdom. Nowadays, An Outline Treatise of Medical Herbs, acknowledged by the whole nation, is still be regarded as an outstanding work for we are able to use old methods written in this book to cure some today's disease. Besides, this book is welcomed by more and more foreigners and it could help us treat sickness which cannot be cured by western medicine. Regarding this issue, I hold the opinion that we will gain much knowledge from this book and Chinese medicine in the future.  

There is another point I should make, in addition to unchanging things, past experience could also tell us a lot about some changing matters, such as the relationship with others. We all live in society, communicating with all types of person. Although the circumstance we live in is continuously altering, some important characteristics still alive. Through reading history, we can know that how to be a person and how to adjust ourselves to the society. In China, there is a great thinker and social philosopher called Confucius, whose teachings and philosophy have deeply influenced Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Taiwanese and Vietnamese thought and life. His philosophy emphasized personal and governmental morality, correctness of relationships, justice and sincerity. These values gained prominence in China over other doctrines, such as Legalism or Taoism during the Han Dynasty. Modern socialists have summarized rules of conduct according to Confucius and his composing.

By and large, past is to present and future what the foundation is to skyscraper. We can hardly solve some problems without past experience.

501tbiUID：2716108

When faced with the issue that whether teachers should be paid according to how well their students perform（这不是一个句子）. From my point of view, it is ridiculous that teachers' wage depend on their students' performance. And（and是连词，如果没有连接上一句，可以将之删掉） I can hardly agree with the statement owe to the following reasons. $ N2

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Initially, it is obviously unfair for most teachers if their incomes are related to the students' score. Just image（拼写错误） that if a student has a bad attendance record and never assume an active role (啥意思？) in studying, he cannot get a high score even though with a (even if he has a ...) responsible teacher. An excellent （excellent what？）will attract most students in learning, but we cannot deny that there are also students with lazy habit have (who have) no interest in study subject(in study). Therefore, we treat teachers so unfair（用副词，unfairly） when using this method to evaluate teachers. On the other hand, subjects are always departed (分道扬镳？出发？这个词可能用得不够准确) as major subject which students place a high value on and side subject which often be neglected. Generally, students performance on main subjects extremely outweigh side subject, so teachers who teach side subjects will earn less money if we use the method. There is no denying the fact（可以删掉，直接说there is no denying that...） that it is unpleasant for them because they are as responsible as main subject teachers.4 z- [- m/ p* B; @0 Z  K; Q


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From another perspective, if teachers understand that their students’ performance will affect the wage they earn （直接说their income即可）, they may give their students high (用比较级更好，higher，后面用greater) score or great final mark in order to acquire a large amount of money（删掉，否则重复）. This type of behavior is not only irresponsible for students, it also（not only, but also） adversely affect the atmosphere of whole school. More worsen （what is even worse is that, ...）, some teachers may help their students cheat in the examination or even tell the students the answer of the final paper before the exam, just resulting from the inconsiderable policy. Thus would cause serious problem that outstanding students' advantages could not be demonstrated and they would lose the motive to learn as before, as well as some poor students could also easily pass the exam, leading to the bad phenomenon that students have no desire to make progress.




Thirdly, recent years, most high schools divide students into different classes according to various academic level. That is to say, a number of well students are in a class while some middle students are in another class. When term end comes, the students in well class are certain to perform better than the middle class no matter how the teacher is. Similarly, it is unjust for teachers who mainly teach the middle class for they pay as much effort as their co-workers. For the original purpose, we want to simulate teachers to work hard and ensure students’ well education through the policy, while after accurate analysis, we find the drawbacks outweigh its benefits. Some teachers may be infuriate by the policy and in a bad mood. （我觉得我们写托福作文应该以美国国情为背景，因为改作文的是美国人。在美国，没有尖子班和差班的分别。改卷老师很可能不了解中国国情，看不懂你这段话。或者，这种情况会让改卷老师将对中国的不良印象嫁接到你的分数上。。。）



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By and large, we can come to the conclusion that the opinion that teachers should be paid depending on the students' performance is inequitable and cannot（can表示可能，should表示应该，这里用should更好） be adopted. And I personally totally disagree with it.

你的文章内容很充实，论点论据很多，相信你是下了很大功夫去构思和写作的。
总的来说挺不错的，25+肯定没有问题的，加油！

我给你的建议是这样的：
1. 注意你的句子结构，一个句子必须有一套主谓宾，而且只能有一套。
2. 注意你的措词准确恰当。在中文里，我们形容帅哥用“风流倜傥”，形容美女用“闭月羞花”，二者都有“美丽”的意思，但是用法绝对是有区别的。你对于一些英语词汇的实际用法把握不够准确，出现了将“风流倜傥”和“闭月羞花”混着用的错误。不要过分以来相信金山词霸，这个只能靠自己的阅读和写作积累。

我的水平也很有限，如果有错误，麻烦你及时指出来，我们一起进步。

小心littleheartUID：2726034

自己的题目

Agree or not?  Teachers should be paid according to how well their students perform

When faced with the issue that whether teachers should be paid according to how well their students perform. From my point of view, it is ridiculous that teachers' wage depend on their students' performance. And I can hardly agree with the statement owe to the following reasons.
Initially, it is obviously unfair for most teachers if their incomes are related to the students' score. Just image that if a student has a bad attendance record and never assume an active role in studying, he cannot get a high score even though with a responsible teacher. An excellent will attract most students in learning, but we cannot deny that there are also students with lazy habit have no interest in study subject. Therefore, we treat teachers so unfair when using this method to evaluate teachers. On the other hand, subjects are always departed as major subject which students place a high value on and side subject which often be neglected. Generally, students performance on main subjects extremely outweigh side subject, so teachers who teach side subjects will earn less money if we use the method. There is no denying the fact that it is unpleasant for them because they are as responsible as main subject teachers.

From another perspective, if teachers understand that their students’ performance will affect the wage they earn, they may give their students high score or great final mark in order to acquire a large amount of money. This type of behavior is not only irresponsible for students, it also adversely affect the atmosphere of whole school. More worsen, some teachers may help their students cheat in the examination or even tell the students the answer of the final paper before the exam, just resulting from the inconsiderable policy. Thus would cause serious problem that outstanding students' advantages could not be demonstrated and they would lose the motive to learn as before, as well as some poor students could also easily pass the exam, leading to the bad phenomenon that students have no desire to make progress.

Thirdly, recent years, most high schools divide students into different classes according to various academic level. That is to say, a number of well students are in a class while some middle students are in another class. When term end comes, the students in well class are certain to perform better than the middle class no matter how the teacher is. Similarly, it is unjust for teachers who mainly teach the middle class for they pay as much effort as their co-workers. For the original purpose, we want to simulate teachers to work hard and ensure students’ well education through the policy, while after accurate analysis, we find the drawbacks outweigh its benefits. Some teachers may be infuriate by the policy and in a bad mood.

By and large, we can come to the conclusion that the opinion that teachers should be paid depending on the students' performance is inequitable and cannot be adopted. And I personally totally disagree with it.

小心littleheartUID：2726034

9# 皇甫秋荻 呵呵~~怎么会介意呢~~~大家一同进步嘛~至于family company，我是打算表达“关系”的~呵呵~~yoyo平时多积累些同义词，练习一些中译英~一定会对替换有帮助的~~我的有些词也是查过字典的~~呵呵~O(∩_∩)O~加油哦~~

皇甫秋荻UID：2638790

     In this day and age, people are busy with various matters, resulting in that they have a fewer（fewer） time to spend on their families. Is it necessary for families to regularly eat their meals together? I would say yes and totally support the argument for the following reasons.7 v- c& R* x7 e1 P$ z5 E" D
      Initially, eating meals together can increase the amount of family time and contribute to build harmonious relationship with family members. Through chatting with each other during table time, one will get acknowledged about（littleheart，这个词是什么意思啊？我查不到！~呃--#） his/her family members. Children could tell their parents some interesting things happened in school, so that parents could understand more about their kids. Meanwhile, only in this way, youngsters' mistake could be pointed out by his/her parents or other relatives in time. Mutual communication is the foundation of any relationship, whether among neighbors or family members（把whether…or…去掉吧，感觉怪怪的。。。）. And eating regularly together is a good method of communicating with and deeply knowing about your family members.（意思与前面重复啦！~删了，直接跟后面的例子。）
Recently, the rate of divorce is reaching a high point, and this warns us that how important it is to sustain family company（这个词，是家庭公司的意思哦~little是想表达“伙伴”的意思，还是“关系”的意思呢？）. Otherwise, a kid may lose a complete home or a woman may become a single-mother. （例子不错~再次借鉴~嘿嘿^@^） Q) R$ G, y
      From another perspective, there is no denying the fact that eating is also an enjoyable thing which makes people feel relaxed. If a family possesses the habit of eating together regularly, all family members will be beneficial. Owing to
the fierce competition, people in all age scales could feel great pressure in some degree. Adults fight for earning money and students fight for（getting） high marks. It is our home that releases us from stress（同义替换pressure，不错！！！）. All family members, eating together, could help each other forget unpleasant things and immerge themselves in the harmonious atmosphere. When a wife confronted a difficult issue in work, she could tell her husband while having supper together, and he could give her some suggestions and encourage her. Thus the wife will feel more comfortable and effectively engage in her job again. Most family members have their own affairs in daily life, and some are so busy that still have to work even in weekends. Therefore, eating together regularly is an absolutely vital opportunity for them to have time with family members. No matter how busy a man is, he should take time off for his family eating together.4 _0 @2

      By and large, we can benefit a lot from eating together regularly with our families and I personally appreciate the moments shared with my parents. So, eating together regularly is supposed to（这个词好！） play an important role in every family.

改了littleheart的两次作文，觉得你的语法错误基本没有，而且语句很连贯，不牵强！佩服佩服！而且对于词汇，替换的很有水平哦！有很多词，我根本没有想到过。嘿嘿~还是得向你学习丫！~

不知道，littleheart是如何提高自己的单词多样性的（别告诉我是被托福词汇哈~~ - -！），我每次写作文，总感觉老被单词卡住，下不了笔，只能花很多时间在查字典上~ 请赐教！！！

p.s:好久没有写作文拉，昨天的作文，大部分连接词都是“借鉴”little的作文词汇，因为觉得经典！希望不要介意哈~ ^-^

小心littleheartUID：2726034

6# eddie23508ok O(∩_∩)O哈哈~eddie真的很幽默,建议也很好，感谢~~最后结尾是笔误，写反了，呵呵~还有only放在句首，从句倒装，应该要用逗号隔开的吧，比如only in this way, can we improve our lifestyle~我不懂得德语啊......