Issue150 [OB小组]_第8次作业_电视，电脑使旅游过时

xiao8686UID: 2266881

TOPIC: ISSUE150 - "Because of television and worldwide computer connections, people can now become familiar with a great many places that they have never visited. As a result, tourism will soon become obsolete."
WORDS: 648          TIME: 00:55:00          DATE: 2007-7-20 13:25:11

In this issue, the author states tourism will soon be outdated because people are able to get familiar with many places they never visited via television and computers. However, I do not agree with the author. In my observation, tourism will not become obsolete but more popular by the widely application of television and worldwide computer connections.

First of all, though television and worldwide computer connections are able to get access to a great many places, it can not replace tourism merely by the seeming advantage. As a matter of fact, the connotation of tourism is far beyond of viewing a place. Taking tours personally to a great many places is quite different from watching them on television or browsing them through the internet. It is the physical and mental contact with those places. For example, seeing ocean from television or computer can hardly arouse the visceral appreciation of the magnificence of it. Only by being involved in the tour, hearing the sound of surfs, feeling the moisture in the air, one can truly appreciate the wonders brought by oceans. For another example, by getting access to a historical heritage via television and internet, one can only see the pictures of it or read some cold comments about it. Nevertheless, visiting the heritage personally, one can pay attention to the details interest him/her. S/he can touch the damaged pillars, read some inscription on stones and so forth. Such experiences of participation are impossible for television or worldwide computer connections to offer. In sum, the objective comments or the photographs on television or computer are far insufficient to understand a place. One must take a tour by him/herself there to contact with the place physically and mentally and then have subjective perspectives. Only the mixture of the objective and subjective views of a place enables a person to understand a place.

Besides, for a small portion of people, tourism is a way for relaxation. They can be distracted from work and have some leisure moments by taking a tour to somewhere else. In that case, watching television or sitting in front of a computer has no effects for this purpose at all.

Second of all, tourism as an industry has gained a vital position in the economical operation of many countries. It brings along not only the profits from the pure visiting but also the capitals to build a city or a country, letting alone solving the unemployment of thousands of people. It is one of the critical cogs of a country. Many countries such as Monaco receive their major incomes from tourism. At present, the governments in lots of countries spend no efforts in promoting tourism to spur the booming of their economy. Chinese government budget more than 1 billion RMB in tourism this year. Therefore, the point that such an indispensable industry will soon be obsolete because of that people can access to places via television and computer is absurd.

Finally, the wide application of television and worldwide computer connections can facilitate tourism to be more popular and prosper than ever before. With their help, people can know about the places they are about to travel previously. For instance, they can learn by internet or television about the weather there and then wear suitable clothes, or they may find out the best route of the tour thus saving energy and money for the essence. Sufficient preparations mostly lead to a better tour, enabling people to be fonder of tourism. All in all, television and worldwide computer connection as tools reputed for their fast exchange of a large volume of information, assist people prepare better for the visit of a great many places.

In conclusion, tourism as a unique approach to understand a great many places and a crucial industry will not easily become obsolete by the application of television or computer which instead usually promote the tourism.


[ 本帖最后由 xiao8686 于 2007-7-20 16:19 编辑 ]

lintiUID: 2364152

In this issue, the author states tourism will soon be outdated because people are able to get familiar with many places they never visited via television and computers. However, I do not agree with the author. In my observation, tourism will not become obsolete but more popular by the widely application of television and worldwide computer connections.(开头简明扼要)

First of all, though television and worldwide computer connections(we) are able to get(去掉） access to a great many places, it can not replace tourism merely by the seeming advantage. As a matter of fact, the connotation of tourism is far beyond of viewing a place. Taking tours personally to a great many places is quite different from watching them on television or browsing them through the internet. It is the physical and mental contact with those places（有点怪）. For example, seeing ocean from television or computer can hardly arouse the visceral appreciation of the magnificence of it. Only by being involved in the tour, hearing the sound of surfs, feeling the moisture in the air, one can truly appreciate the wonders brought by oceans. For another example, by getting access to a historical heritage via television and internet, one can only see the pictures of it or read some cold comments about it. Nevertheless, visiting the heritage personally, one can pay attention to the details interest him/her. S/he can touch the damaged pillars, read some inscription on stones and so forth. Such experiences of participation are impossible for television or worldwide computer connections to offer. In sum, the objective comments or the photographs on television or computer are far insufficient to understand a place. One must take a tour by him/herself there to contact with the place physically and mentally and then have subjective perspectives. Only the mixture of the objective and subjective views of a place enables a person to understand a place.

Besides, for a small portion of people, tourism is a way for relaxation. They can be distracted from work and have some leisure moments by taking a tour to somewhere else. In that case, watching television or sitting in front of a computer does no effects ？for this purpose at all.

Second of all, tourism as an industry has gained a vital position in the economical operation of many countries. It brings along not only the profits from the pure visiting but also the capitals to build a city or a country, letting alone solving the unemployment of thousands of people. It is one of the critical cogs of a country. Many countries such as Monaco receive their major incomes from tourism. At present, the governments in lots of countries spend no efforts in promoting tourism to spur the booming of their economy. Chinese government budget more than 1 billion RMB in tourism this year. Therefore, the point that such an indispensable industry will soon be obsolete because of that people can access to places via television and computer is absurd.（举例适当）

Finally, the wide application of television and worldwide computer connections can facilitate tourism to be more popular and prosper than ever before. With their help, people can know about the places they are about to travel previously. For instance, they can learn by internet or television about the weather there and then wear suitable clothes, or they may find out the best route of the tour thus saving energy and money for the essence. Sufficient preparations mostly lead to a better tour, enabling people to be fonder of tourism. All in all, television and worldwide computer connection as tools reputed for their fast exchange of a large volume of information, assist people prepare better for the visit of a great many places.

In conclusion, tourism as a unique approach to understand a great many places and a crucial industry will not easily become obsolete by the application of television or computer which instead usually promote the tourism.（再有说服力一些会更好）
总体很有条理，呵呵

OB叔UID: 188695

take seat first

OB叔UID: 188695

In this issue, the author states tourism will soon be outdated because people are able to get familiar with many places they never visited via television and computers. However, I do not agree with the author. In my observation, tourism will not become obsolete but more popular by the widely application of television and worldwide computer connections.已经形成自己的开头模式，很快的进入主题，不错

First of all, though television and worldwide computer connections are able to get access to a great many places, it can not replace tourism merely by the seeming advantage. As a matter of fact, the connotation of tourism is far beyond of viewing a place. Taking tours personally to a great many places is quite different from watching them on television or browsing them through the internet. It is the physical and mental contact with those places.【先是主题句，然后是理论分析，然后举例，不错，结构很清晰】 For example, seeing ocean from television or computer can hardly arouse the visceral appreciation of the magnificence of it. Only by being involved in the tour, hearing the sound of surfs, feeling the moisture in the air【这里可以继续用排比句】, one can truly appreciate the wonders brought by oceans. For another example, by getting access to a historical heritage via television and internet, one can only see the pictures of it or read some cold comments about it. Nevertheless, visiting the heritage personally, one can pay attention to the details interest him/her. S/he can touch the damaged pillars, read some inscription on stones and so forth. Such experiences of participation are impossible for television or worldwide computer connections to offer. 【分3个层次来论述，很充实】In sum, the objective comments or the photographs on television or computer are far insufficient to understand a place. One must take a tour by him/herself there to contact with the place physically and mentally and then have subjective perspectives. Only the mixture of the objective and subjective views of a place enables a person to understand a place.

Besides, for a small portion of people, tourism is a way for relaxation. They can be distracted from work and have some leisure moments by taking a tour to somewhere else. In that case, watching television or sitting in front of a computer has no effects for this purpose at all.这个论点提的很巧妙，我没有想到，赞。你应该展开这个段落的论述的，让她充实一下

Second of all, tourism as an industry has gained a vital position in the economical operation of many countries. 【这个立论和题目关系不是很大，有跑题的嫌疑】It brings along not only the profits from the pure visiting but also the capitals to build a city or a country, letting alone solving the unemployment of thousands of people. It is one of the critical cogs of a country. Many countries such as Monaco receive their major incomes from tourism. At present, the governments in lots of countries spend no efforts in promoting tourism to spur the booming of their economy. Chinese government budget more than 1 billion RMB in tourism this year. Therefore, the point that such an indispensable industry will soon be obsolete because of that people can access to places via television and computer is absurd.

Finally【链接词用的不好，这里是对上一段的一个递进，用moreover比较好】, the wide application of television and worldwide computer connections can facilitate tourism to be more popular and prosper than ever before. With their help, people can know about the places they are about to travel previously. For instance, they can learn by internet or television about the weather there and then wear suitable clothes, or they may find out the best route of the tour thus saving energy and money for the essence. Sufficient preparations mostly lead to a better tour, enabling people to be fonder of tourism. All in all, television and worldwide computer connection as tools reputed for their fast exchange of a large volume of information, assist people prepare better for the visit of a great many places.

In conclusion, tourism as a unique approach to understand a great many places and a crucial industry will not easily become obsolete by the application of television or computer which instead usually promote the tourism.

总体而言结构很紧凑，论证的也很充分，就是第4段有跑题的嫌疑

xiao8686UID: 2266881

关于那个第4段，我的意思就是 tourism已经是一个产业了，而题目中说了soon 就 变得 obsolete，一个重要的产业，不会仅仅因为电视和电脑的影响而变得过时，这样的说法不对。

讨论一下，:)

OB叔UID: 188695

我觉得你说的从思考问题的角度是可以的

但是写出来一读，就是感觉思维跨度太大

有跑题的嫌疑

xiao8686UID: 2266881

恩，我开始就觉得这个想法 应该还蛮好的，而且这样也比较好写，我再想想把它怎么改的好一点

ldongxpUID: 2311083

In this issue, the author states tourism will soon be outdated because people are able to get familiar with many places they never visited via television and computers. However, I do not agree with the author. In my observation, tourism will not become obsolete but more popular by the widely application of television and worldwide computer connections.

First of all, though television and worldwide computer connections are able to get access to a great many places, it can not replace tourism merely by the seeming advantage. As a matter of fact, the connotation of tourism is far beyond of viewing a place. [zan！这句不错] Taking tours personally to a great many places is quite different from watching them on television or browsing them through the internet. It is the physical and mental contact with those places. [有理] For example, [有据] seeing ocean from television or computer can hardly arouse the visceral appreciation of the magnificence of it. Only by being involved in the tour, hearing the sound of surfs, feeling the moisture in the air, one can truly appreciate the wonders brought by oceans. For another example, by getting access to a historical heritage via television and internet, one can only see the pictures of it or read some cold comments about it. Nevertheless, visiting the heritage personally [换个in person], one can pay attention to the details interest him/her. [我也这么想，我们表达不一样，你更具体，呵呵] S/he can touch the damaged pillars, read some inscription on stones and so forth. Such experiences of participation are impossible for television or worldwide computer connections to offer. In sum, the objective comments or the photographs on television or computer are far insufficient to understand a place. One must take a tour by him/herself there to contact with the place physically and mentally and then have subjective perspectives. Only the mixture of the objective and subjective views of a place enables a person to understand a place.

Besides, for a small portion of people, tourism is a way for relaxation. They can be distracted from work and have some leisure moments by taking a tour to somewhere else. In that case, watching television or sitting in front of a computer has no effects for this purpose at all.

Second of all, tourism as an industry has gained a vital position in the economical operation of many countries. It brings along not only the profits from the pure visiting but also the capitals to build a city or a country, letting alone solving the unemployment of thousands of people. It is one of the critical cogs of a country. Many countries such as Monaco receive their major incomes from tourism. At present, the governments in lots of countries spend no efforts in promoting tourism to spur the booming of their economy. Chinese government budget more than 1 billion RMB in tourism this year. Therefore, the point that such an indispensable industry will soon be obsolete because of that people can access to places via television and computer is absurd. [感觉这段不是很切题，从产业角度写不错，但是说因为是重要产业所以不会废弃，感觉不是很strong，有点逼人接受的感觉]

Finally, the wide application of television and worldwide computer connections can facilitate tourism to be more popular and prosper than ever before. With their help, people can know about the places they are about to travel previously. For instance, they can learn by internet or television about the weather there and then wear suitable clothes, or they may find out the best route of the tour thus saving energy and money for the essence. Sufficient preparations mostly lead to a better tour, enabling people to be fonder of tourism. All in all, television and worldwide computer connection as tools reputed for their fast exchange of a large volume of information, assist people prepare better for the visit of a great many places. [thus accelerating the development of tourism]
In conclusion, tourism as a unique approach to understand a great many places and a crucial industry will not easily become obsolete by the application of television or computer which instead usually promote the tourism.

phillipsareaUID: 2318537

In this issue, the author states tourism will soon be outdated because people are able to get familiar with many places they never visited via television and computers. However, I do not agree with the author. In my observation, tourism will not become obsolete but more popular by the widely application of television and worldwide computer connections.(开头简练，观点也表达得当)

First of all, though television and worldwide computer connections are able to get access to a great many places, it can not replace tourism merely by the seeming advantage. As a matter of fact, the connotation of tourism is far beyond of viewing a place. Taking tours personally to a great many places is quite different from watching them on television or browsing them through the internet. It is the physical and mental contact with those places(好). For example, seeing ocean from television or computer can hardly arouse the visceral appreciation of the magnificence of it. Only by being involved in the tour, hearing the sound of surfs, feeling the moisture in the air, one can truly appreciate the wonders brought by oceans(例子举的好). For another example, by getting access to a historical heritage via television and internet, one can only see the pictures of it or read some cold comments about it. Nevertheless, visiting the heritage personally, one can pay attention to the details interest him/her. S/he can touch the damaged pillars, read some inscription on stones and so forth. Such experiences of participation are impossible for television or worldwide computer connections to offer. In sum, the objective comments or the photographs on television or computer are far insufficient to understand a place. One must take a tour by him/herself there to contact with the place physically and mentally and then have subjective perspectives. Only the mixture of the objective and subjective views of a place enables a person to understand a place.

Besides, for a small portion of people, tourism is a way for relaxation. They can be distracted from work and have some leisure moments by taking a tour to somewhere else. In that case, watching television or sitting in front of a computer has no effects for this purpose at all.

Second of all, tourism as an industry has gained a vital position in the economical operation of many countries. It brings along not only the profits from the pure visiting but also the capitals to build a city or a country, letting alone solving the unemployment of thousands of people. It is one of the critical cogs of a country. Many countries such as Monaco receive their major incomes from tourism. At present, the governments in lots of countries spend no efforts in promoting tourism to spur the booming of their economy. Chinese government budget more than 1 billion RMB in tourism this year. Therefore, the point that such an indispensable industry will soon be obsolete because of that people can access to places via television and computer is absurd.(这段严重走题!你再仔细看看,突然扯出这么多跟经济发展有关的问题,就是为了最后一句说明这些经济发展会因为TELEVSION等的出现而停止,是荒谬的??这段不好)

Finally, the wide application of television and worldwide computer connections can facilitate tourism to be more popular and prosper than ever before. With their help, people can know about the places they are about to travel previously. For instance, they can learn by internet or television about the weather there and then wear suitable clothes, or they may find out the best route of the tour thus saving energy and money for the essence. Sufficient preparations mostly lead to a better tour, enabling people to be fonder of tourism. All in all, television and worldwide computer connection as tools reputed for their fast exchange of a large volume of information, assist people prepare better for the visit of a great many places.

In conclusion, tourism as a unique approach to understand a great many places and a crucial industry will not easily become obsolete by the application of television or computer which instead usually promote the tourism.

主要是倒数第三段的问题,全文都论述的很好!

xiao8686UID: 2266881

好像大家都觉得那一段走题了。

(这段严重走题!你再仔细看看,突然扯出这么多跟经济发展有关的问题,就是为了最后一句说明这些经济发展会因为TELEVSION等的出现而停止,是荒谬的??这段不好)

我也不是觉得television是会使经济发展停止 是荒谬的。我是想说旅游业不会因为人们的意愿而马上就过时了。

我发现主要产生理解上不一样的地方在哪里了。就是那个tourism，我把它还理解成旅游业的意思了，作为一个产业来理解了。webster上面倒是可以这样解释，不过不知道从这个意思放在这里论证是不是合适。主要是最开始写的时候，觉得这个题目写不出什么新意来，就想换个角度论证一下。