发音:a/æ/tmosphere, 27秒,holded(没有这个词,应该是 held) the soil together,是想说固沙吧,这样用可能不对哦~stabilization of sands,或者 sand fixation. 这些都是名词,LZ再去查一查动词怎么讲。floo/ʌ/d 中间ʌd的音发的太长,注意。
结构:LZ讲了两个点,一个是beautiful atmosphere to relax, 一个是get soil together.
LZ惯用的习惯是,在说明一个细节后,后面加一个because来解释为什么这样。个人感觉这样说会显得很别扭,教条,不如这样,以第一个小点为例:thesis 不变,进入第一点: trees and flowers will bring us a beautiful and cool environment,--> since the summer is very hot, we could relax ourselves in such environment. 这样或许显得更符合一般说话方式吧~尽管你之前的说法也看上去挺有逻辑的。 欢迎讨论。
Task2
发音:30秒,all of the ??
结构:整体来说没有大问题,只是感觉 LZ的thesis是在说 have nice talks, 但是这个题是在说同不同意老师的观点,所以我个人感觉上去有点怪,有点跑偏的感觉。我来复述一下你的口语,自己感觉下:nice talk, learn more details, form ideas.--> children phsy.. before not know, but when talk(还是在说talk起了什么作用,而不是同不同意老师的问题) with teacher, learn more details,correct details.
我这样改LZ看看可不可以更切合题意:
disagree--> because teachers acquire more professional knowledge than we student, -->children phsco.., first not know anything, but when talk to teacher and follow his instruction-->learn more details about it and form own idea with the class.
倘若LZ还想用这个例子,建议具体一点,真的具体到某件事情上。